I used to wonder.

What it would be like to see the sun.
To feel the sun.

He would say it burned.
Tell me it was horrible.
That it was the worst thing god ever created.

I wanted to laugh.
Cry.
Scream in his face.

Because he burns.
He is horrible.
He is the worst thing god ever created.

I will never see the sun.
I will never feel the sun.

I will only feel him.
I will feel his wrath.
I will feel his calloused hands.
When they skim over my skin.
I will feel his presence always.
Even when he's not there.

But I will never see him.
I dont ever wish to see him.
I'm glad he keeps the lights out.
Im happy in a way that I will never be plagued with the sight of him.

But what is worse is the dark.
Where pain is my friend.
The dark is my enemy.

Bad.
Horrible.
Scary.
Things happen in the dark.
Things I'd never wish upon anyone.
Everyday I'm in the dark.

I never see anything.
I'll open my eyes and never know what time it is.
I'll never know where I am.
I'll never see who I am.

He likes everything in the dark.
He likes me in the dark.
He tells me my face is simply too hideous to look at.
So no light allowed.
I believed him even though I don't know what I look like.

He tells me what he does in the dark.
Specifically before he does them.
To me.

I will always hate the dark.
Because that's who he is.
It's who I am.

We have become the darkness.
He made me into darkness.
I don't know anything but.

He wants me to believe it's home.
But what is home?

He says your other senses heighten when one is removed.
Touch.
Taste.
Smell.
Hear.
I feel his rough touch.
I taste his disgusting fluids.
I smell his sick arousal.
I hear his loud grunts and moans.
All with no sight.
I will never see again.

I am blind.
I am hopeless.
I'll never feel anything but him.
Nothing but darkness I see.
I'll always feel my tears drying on my scarred cheeks.
I'll always smell my blood everywhere.
I'll always hear my screams.

In the dark.

★★★★

I know these chapters are getting boring but I promise
they will get better. These are basically explaining what she is experiencing. It is important info to know. Just bare with it.

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