It's like no air.

No breath.

No lungs.

The feeling you get when your drowning.

Trying to breath, but instead your gulping water down your throat.

Into your lungs.

And as they fill with the poisonous water, you forget.

You forget the pain.

You forget the suffering.

The agony.

And then you die.

You are free.

I wish I could forget.

Because I'm drowning.

I have no air.

I have no breath

I have no lungs.

I'm constantly drowning in pain.

In misery.

But the worst part is I can't die.

I will never be free.

I will always be here.

I will always be coughing up the poisonous water.

I will always be drowning.

But not in water.

I'll forever choke on it.

Taste it.

I'll feel it burn my throat.

I'll feel it suffocate my lungs.

But I'll never drown in that water.

The thing is I want too.

And the one thing I want most, I'll never have.

*

I'll never want to sit again.
I am stuck to the chair.
Wood.
It's made out of very, old wood.
It's not polished.
Nor glossed.
Probably not even sanded.
There is no protective coating.
And if there was, there is nothing there anymore.
I have never left the chair.
Never allowed.
I have been sitting forever.
I can't remember what it feels like not to sit.
I don't remember a time when I stood on my feet.
That's because there was no time.
All I know how to do anymore is sit.
I will be in this chair forever.
I'm reminded of that every second.
Even if i can't see the chair, I can feel it.
Every centimeter I move, I feel the splinters.
The blisters.
The underneath of my thighs are raw.
They have gotten infected a few too many times.
Blood has always been covering them.
Sticking them to the chair.
Making it worse.
And I've learned my lesson.
If I moved, I would bleed.
I've barley moved in forever.
The times I do is one he touches me.
When he punches me.
Because I can't resist moving when he forces my body to do things I can't control.
My body is one whole ache.
I ache to move.
But painful when I do.

The arm rests are damaged from my nails.
My claws.
My hands are always gripping the ends.
They have blisters too.
They bleed always too.
I never uncurl my hands.
They are tied even if I wanted to.
I'm tied everywhere.
They were around my chest, which made it hard to breath.
The skin on my wrists are raw.
Always raw.
The ropes never leave.
Wherever the ropes are, my skin is no more.
I lose track of time when he comes in and changes the ropes.
The ropes are painful.
But pain is nothing new.
All I know is pain.
It's one of my friends.

Whenever he wants my body, he will untie my legs.
He'll get the angle he needs.
Nothing else.
I lost the feeling in my legs forever ago.
Along with my arms and back.
That's mostly why I can't fight back anymore.
Because most my body is numb.
But I can still feel the pain on my skin.
I wish my everything was numb.
I wish I wouldn't feel a thing.
I wish I didn't live.
He'll never let you die.

★★★★

Chappy two. Second update today! Woohoo!
How was this, let me know in the comments.
*Vote*
*Comment*
& Last but not least *share*!!