I’m trying too hard,

I’m forcing my hurt on you,

But you still can’t accept

That it’s you who is shredding my insides,

Drowning my words in acid,

Snatching my apologies and burning them.

You took my smiles,

You took my poems,

You took my comfort, and set it alight,

Not with the flames of passion, but

With dark fire of apathy.

I wish I could dissipate,

And disintegrate,

And my lungs could turn to tar,

And my air could turn to dust

Just so you could see

How I’m feeling,

What your glares and

Empty words do to me.

You say you’re trying,

But later you laugh,

And your apology and

Sincerity becomes a joke to me.

I’m trying.

Are you trying?

I’m crying.

Are you really crying?

I’m never lying, never faking, never disingenuous.

Never hiding, never breaking, never duplicitous.

You always take my angel words

And twist them like a

Choker necklace

Which you weave your poison into

And strangle me with.

Purple stripes on my neck

Like a delicate chain,

Or a rusted prison shackle,

Corroded on my skin.

Go ahead and stifle me.

I’ll embrace it.

Embrace the burn and

Inhale the sharp words laced with venom of the teeth.

As long as that’s what it takes for you to believe me.

Believe that I’m sorry,

I'm trying,

And I'm listening.

I never lied, always crawled, always tried.

I’ll listen, I’ll hold my tears in a box of lead and ethanol.

Just please, please tell the truth

And follow my map

Of a spiderweb of dewy spit.

I hate trying,

But I promise I’ll carry on

If it kills me.