✧】viii. goin' somewhere?【✧

[ twilight's last gleaming ]
trigger warning: panic attack

"THAT IS DEFINITELY not a meteorite," Monty mutters frantically, shooting to his feet and pulling Amery up with him. What Amery initially thought might be a shooting star has erupted into a ball of flames, shooting toward the earth like a misfired means of destruction.

A few scattered voices around the camp call out to one another, drawing Amery's gaze to the center of camp from her place at the edge.

"Check it out!"

"The hell's that?"

"That can't be good," Monty murmurs, pulling Amery away from the camp boundaries and nearer to the tents and slowly growing fire.

"From the Ark?" Amery murmurs, and Monty looks at her with those deep, brown eyes and shrugs helplessly. She doesn't miss the tinge of hope in his expression.

"Bellamy, get out here!" Octavia calls. The light paving a nearly white path across the vastness of the sky is mesmerizing, Amery thinks, and she's immediately irritated that someone has beckoned Bellamy outside to ruin it.

"There," Octavia says, pointing to the shape in the sky. As a gust of wind pushes the younger Blake's cascades of brown hair over her bare shoulders, Monty pulls Amery closer to him by the elbow, and Amery shudders at the unexpected heat.

"Cold?" Monty asks, moving to shrug off his jacket, but Amery shakes her head. Warm.

"No, just..." she trails off, gazing at the projectile as it grows closer. The flames are dying down and the craft deploys a visible parachute as it drifts toward the forest. From the Ark. Amery's heart skips a beat– in fear or anticipation, she doesn't know.

"They're coming to help us!" Jones declares loudly. "Now we can kick some Grounder ass!"

"Yeah!" shouts the small group of teens who have gathered, two of whom are clad only in blankets and definitely just emerged from Bellamy's tent. Ew.

Amery exchanges a covert glance with Monty, who glances at the girls and then wiggles his eyebrows at Amery.

"Monty!" she hisses, slapping his arm. He chuckles.

"Please tell me they brought down some shampoo," one of Bellamy's newest adventures says, and Amery scoffs.

Oddly enough, Bellamy doesn't seem to share in the buzz of excitement of the crowd. He shrugs off the girls surrounding him and stalks toward his tent, one of his cronies and Octavia on his tail. A red flag goes up in Amery's mind.

She doesn't trust Bellamy Blake.

Amery finds herself bouncing on the balls of her feet, eyes tracing the trajectory of the object and fighting the urge to dart into the woods unarmed. She has not yet been outside the camp on any sort of extended excursion, and she knows going alone would be a suicide mission, but... there's something in her gut saying she needs to get to this thing as soon as she can.

"Monty," she hisses, jabbing an elbow into his side.

"Why do you keep physically harming me?" he sighs with no real tension in his voice, wide, dark eyes glued to the stars. "What's up?"

"That pod," Keaton snorts, and Amery jumps as she spins to face the boy who's suddenly appeared on Monty's other side. Monty just raises a brow, unimpressed. Keaton scoffs. "You guys just don't appreciate my elite sense of humor."

"Dork," Amery shoots back, but her eyes keep shifting toward the walls.

Keaton notices.

"Oh, hell no, Mer," he says vehemently, fixing her with an incredulous stare. Amery is grateful for the dimness of the night hiding the flush in her cheeks.

"What?" Monty asks, brows furrowing in confusion as he glances between Keaton and Amery, engaged in an intense glaring contest.

"I just—"

"You are not going into the woods to explore the secret spaceship and die, okay?"

Amery's shoulders sag in defeat. Keaton's activated Protector Mode, which means he won't let her out of his sight until he's positive she's given in. Monty's eyes are still flickering between Amery and her friend in puzzlement, but he seems to accept that he'll never understand their odd dynamic and lets it go.

"Fine," Amery drawls, but before she can say anything else, her attention is drawn to the commotion a few dozen feet away. Kids have started to light torches and grab packs, eager to get on the move. At this rate, the entire camp will be bound for the woods in the span of ten minutes.

A shot of adrenaline laces Amery's blood. She's been in this camp too long.

A boy with dark skin and a harsh smile emerges from Bellamy's tent, eyes scanning the crowd disapprovingly.

"We don't leave till sunrise!" he barks, and Amery's heart falls hollowly to the bottom of her chest.

Sounds of disagreement bounce around the campers like Finn Collins in zero gravity. "What?"

"What about the Grounders?" one girl calls. "They'll take whatever's in there!"

"Or kill whatever's in there," another boy grumbles.

"Bellamy says we wait," the boy says, arms crossed. The curly-haired boy in question emerges from the tent just then, Octavia behind him, eyes blazing.

"Bell–"

"Hey!" Amery shouts, breaking into a jog toward the older boy before she realizes what she's doing. "What if there were people in there?" she cries, waving a hand toward the forest urgently. "They don't know what's in that forest. If we don't get them now, they could die. The Grounders will get to it and kill whoever's inside before they even have a fighting chance."

Octavia folds her arms and shifts her weight to her back foot, lips drawn into a thin line as she nods at her brother, encouraged by Amery's words.

"No one's going anywhere," Bellamy barks decisively, and the shoulders of several of the surrounding kids sag even further in disappointment.

Amery has to physically restrain herself from growling at the entitled kid. Where the hell is Clarke when you need her?

Bellamy fixes each girl with a withering glare in turn. "Sun. Rise."

He storms away, and Octavia chooses not to restrain her own growl as she stomps off in the opposite direction. Like brother, like sister, Amery thinks halfheartedly as their footsteps fall in line with one another's.

A hand on her shoulder brings her out of her reverie.

"He's such an ass," Zoe mutters, and Amery snorts as she turns to face her.

"Yeah," Amery sighs. Monty approaches, waving to Keaton as he heads in the opposite direction. "Where's Harper?"

"Trying to sleep," Zoe shrugs. "I couldn't."

"Keaton's gonna try to catch some shuteye, too," Monty chimes in as he reaches the girls. Keaton glances over his shoulder and makes eye contact with Amery, raising two fingers to his eyes and then pointing at her. Don't go into the woods, he's warning. Amery sticks her tongue out in return.

"Monty! Hey, Monty!" an excited voice calls, and Fox appears out of nowhere, jumping up and down ecstatically. "Did you see that? What do you think it is? Do you think it's our friends and family?"

A helpless smile graces Monty's features as he places a hand on her shoulder. "Could be anything, Fox. I'm excited, too, but we should wait until it's safer out there." His tone is patient and not condescending, just reason tinged with genuine compassion and warmth. Amery doesn't think she's even capable of speaking that way, so kind, so nurturing.

Fox nods seriously, immediately ceasing her jumping as she takes Monty's words like an order. "You're right. Yep. That's smart, super smart. I'm gonna go get my pack so I'm ready."

Monty chuckles as the dark-haired girl shoots off into the dark. Amery raises a brow, and Monty just shrugs. In all honesty, she finds the way Fox clings to and praises Monty endearing. It makes her heart warm just a little.

A sound draws Amery's attention from a distance away, something muffled but sounding almost like a shout.

"Did you guys hear that?" she murmurs, but Monty and Zoe are already engaged in conversation about the contents of the pod. Experimentally, she clears her throat, tapping her foot on the packed dirt and letting her eyes wander.

They're not paying attention.

Discreetly, Amery slips away from the discussion and edges closer to the dropship, where she's almost certain the sound came from.

She hears it again– almost like a cry, not from in the ship, but behind it.

"Hello?" she whispers hesitantly, one hand pressed around the cool metal of the dropship's exterior as she creeps around to the back. One arm tenses at her side, fingers curling into a fist in case of a threat.

Instead, she hears muted sniffling, harsh breathing. This is a person. One of her people.

"Anyone over here?" she calls out softly, taking a few more steps forward. The breathing gets shorter and faster, and suddenly Amery's kicking into high gear, because she knows that sound. She's been that sound.

Panic attack.

"Woah, woah, hey," she calls, jogging the rest of the way to the figure curled against the side of the ship, fingers curled tightly around the sleeve of a jacket.

Amery knows that jacket.

"Woah, hey. Cash?" she murmurs, dropping to her knees beside the boy and gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "Cash, look at me. Can you look at me?"

From behind the sleeves of his dark jacket, Cash's eyes peek out, and the sight breaks Amery's heart. They're red-rimmed and bloodshot, flooded with tears as he struggles to pull air into his lungs.

"Hey, it's okay," Amery says softly, gently pushing Cash's shoulder toward the wall in an attempt to get him to sit up and let some air in. "Breathe. Copy me. It's okay. You're alright." Amery's heart is racing, but she does her best to keep her hands steady and her breathing even for the boy in front of her.

Cash grabs hold of Amery's hand, and she inhales sharply as she battles the instinct to pull away. It's Cash, she tells herself. It's just Cash. He's your friend and he needs you.

"Breathe, Cash," she urges, voice firm but not unkind. "In and out. Like this," she says, exaggerating her breaths in counts of four and seven, the way Sinclair taught her. "Good job. Keep going."

His breathing is slowing down as he closes his eyes and sags against the dropship, all his energy channeled into attempts at even breaths. Amery squeezes his hand softly and edges closer to him, letting her warmth seep into him.

For a while, they say nothing. The only sound is Cash's ragged breathing against Amery's measured exhales. She's not sure how much time passes while she sits at Cash's side, trying to comfort when she isn't sure how, trying to be there while her instincts scream at her to run and find someone else to handle this, someone better.

But she stays.

After some time, Cash starts to talk.

"Every time I close my eyes, I see Atom," he murmurs, burying his face in his hands. "Dying. And it– it could have been any of us." He draws in a shaky breath, and Amery squeezes his hand in reassurance. "I wasn't built for this," Cash whispers, his voice breaking. "I'm a thief, Amery. I'm a petty criminal, I— people dying... I can't..."

"It's okay," Amery whispers, pulling Cash into her arms. She knows damn well it's not okay. But she's never been great at this comfort thing. She can tell him to breathe, but she can't tell him to... to just get over it.

To get over this.

All this death and danger and tension in the aftermath of a radiation-soaked world, almost like the spirit of warfare has lingered in the air all these years and has started to infect the kids from the Ark by wrapping around their throats and hearts and minds and squeezing, suffocating until there's nothing left but a shell of what used to be a human.

For God's sake, she's wearing the clothes of kids whose bodies are in the ground. And she hasn't even thought about that in days, because worse things have been happening. This planet is a hellscape. Maybe the whole universe is.

Amery can't tell Cash to get over that.

So she just holds him, suddenly finding herself fighting off tears of her own.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, resting her head against Cash's. "God, Cash. I'm so sorry."

She knows it's not her fault. She knows there's nothing she can do, but it breaks her heart to see this boy, who's usually filled to the brim with optimism and lopsided smiles, so utterly helpless. She is sorry— sorry that he has to go through this, sorry that she does, sorry that they live in a world where the only two options are living within the tight confines of a spaceship or trying to survive on a new planet full of old threats.

"Um," Cash sniffles after what could have minutes or could have been hours. Amery's entirely lost track of time.

"What's up?" Amery asks, redirecting her thoughts to the boy practically in her lap. As if reading her thoughts, he pushes himself up sheepishly, and presses himself against the dropship.

"I, uh... do you... do you know if Keaton's... around?" Cash asks, eyes looking everywhere but at her. Amery smiles softly. She wonders how many times Keaton comforted Cash in the Skybox. Or vice versa— the imprisonment couldn't have been easy for her best friend. A pang of guilt grabs at her heart at the thought.

"I'll get him and send him here. Hang tight," Amery tells Cash, pushing herself to her feet.

Cash sags in relief. "Thank you," he whispers as he looks up at Amery, so much warmth and gratitude in his deep eyes that Amery has no question that he means it. He's thanking her for more than just offering to find Keaton.

"You're welcome."

Amery's bones ache as she pushes off the side of the dropship and embarks on her journey to find Keaton, wary with lack of sleep and physical exertion. The Ground is even more unforgiving than space.

She finds him just outside his tent, definitely not sleeping but instead engaged in an intense discussion with the lanky, blond gunner— Kip. Keaton's brows are furrowed in determination as Kip draws his lips into a tight, thin line.

"Keats," she says in lieu of greeting, her urgency getting across well enough that Kip stops talking and glances at her in concern.

"What's up?" Keaton asks, face dropping as he surveys his friend's expression. "Shit, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

He turns to Kip. "Sorry," he murmurs halfheartedly, then grabs Amery's arm and steers her away from the tent. Amery pushes him in the direction of the dropship, explaining as they walk.

"I'm fine. It's Cash," she says, and Keaton stops short.

"What? Where is he? What happened?" Keaton's eyes are wide, posture tense, and Amery thinks maybe she hasn't understood just how close the two boys are until now.

"Keep walking," Amery says firmly, steering him back toward the ship. "He's not hurt. It's okay. He just had a panic attack and he needs you right now."

"He... okay. Yeah. Okay. Dropship?"

"Behind."

"Thank you," Keaton murmurs, giving Amery's shoulder a quick squeeze before breaking into a jog.

Amery watches Keaton's tall figure retreat around the side of the dropship, sighing as he disappears from sight. She doesn't know what she'd do without him. Always a support, a warm hug, a steady hand.

She turns and walks in the opposite direction.

Her friends will be alright.

✧✧✧

Amery scans the camp for signs of her friends— Zoe's signature braid, Harper's blonde waves, Monty's maroon jacket. Instead, she's met with the sight of Clarke and Finn bursting through the gates.

Where the hell were they? she wonders, and what's even weirder is that nobody in the camp seems to question where the couple came from. Amery has a sneaking suspicion, and she really hopes it isn't true.

Clarke is talking to Fox toward the head of the crowd.

"Bellamy said we're gonna wait until sunrise," the younger girl is explaining to the blonde, who looks stricken at the words.

"Where is he?" Clarke demands, irritation flaring as her eyes sharpen. She immediately beelines for the boy's tent, and Amery chuckles to herself. That'll be a fun confrontation.

"Hey," Zoe claps Amery on the back, and she turns to find both her and Harper. "Where'd you go off to?"

Amery shrugs. "Helped out a friend."

Without questioning further, Zoe nods and Harper gives Amery a warm, small smile. "You going out there at first light?" she asks, and Amery bites her lip hesitantly. "All that potential hardware for you and Monty to fix up, yeah?"

"Mhm," she assents, but she can't shake the feeling that something's off here. The theory is only confirmed when she catches sight of Clarke walking furiously in the direction of the gates, pack slung over her shoulder and Finn at her tail.

"Hey, I gotta, um... nature calls," Amery says sheepishly, then darts over to a tree nearer to the fire. Zoe waves her off with a smile before tossing an arm around Harper's waist and heading in the other direction.

Amery ducks behind the tree, hand pressed against the coarse and damp bark, and watches Clarke and Finn slip through the gates.

"Shit," she murmurs. She moves to follow, then hesitates.

What is she doing? No pack, no idea where she's going, no backup.

Keaton will kill her if the woods don't.

"Damn it," she mutters, sprinting back to the center of camp to drag Keaton along.

"Keats?" she calls, unsure of where to look. She jogs behind the dropship, but he and Cash have both disappeared.

Sighing, Amery decides it's probably best not to bother the pair. Cash is going through a hard time and an impromptu forest expedition is likely not what he needs right now.

Instead, Amery detours to her own tent, grabbing her pack and slinging it over a shoulder. She straightens up and absently checks for the leaf in her pocket. Twirling the stem between her fingers, she stares at the gates.

"Goin' somewhere?" a voice asks from behind her, and Amery spins to find Monty staring right at her, surprisingly close.

"Oh, uh— hey," she murmurs, offering a half-smile. "Uh..."

"You're following them," Monty raises a brow, eyes darting between Amery and the gates. Amery's shoulders sag.

"And I know I can't stop you," Monty continues, taking a step back. "But I can stop you from going alone."

"Monty," Amery says softly, shaking her head despite the unexpected hope blossoming in her chest. "I can't ask you to go out there with me."

"You're not. I'm making that choice myself," he says. "I'm coming with you." The brown of Monty's irises hold a hard determination, and somehow Amery knows he's not going to let up unless she is. She hasn't given him enough credit— he's just as stubborn as her.

The boy takes a step forward, placing a warm hand on her shoulder. "You're not going alone," he reiterates firmly, and something in Amery's heart swells with warmth.

"Monty, if something happens to both of us, the camp isn't going to have a way to contact the Ark," Amery points out, and Monty's grip slackens as he considers her point. Keaton's name floats around in the back of her mind, but bringing him up will not help her case, and she and Monty both had more time with engineering than Keaton did.

"We can't contact the Ark anyway," Monty points out. "There could be a radio in that pod, Amery. This could be what we've been waiting for."

For a beat, Amery just holds the boy's gaze, wondering how exactly someone who grew up in such harsh conditions could turn out so... good.

"Not alone?" she asks quietly, almost shyly, eyes darting to the ground and up again.

"Not alone, Red," Monty smiles softly.

"She's not gonna be alone!" Keaton cries, running up to Amery breathlessly and clapping her on the back a little too hard. She winces. "Sorry," Keaton pants, leaning on his knees. "I'm here. I'm going."

"Keaton, you don't have to—"

"I'm going." His jaw is set in determination that Amery knows better than to question.

"Cash?"

"Asleep in the tent with Jasper," Keaton assures her, adjusting the straps of his backpack on his shoulders. "Ready, captain?"

"Fine," she sighs, then shrugs and turns to Monty. "Not alone. What's your excuse now?"

Monty flushes red, hang going up to scratch behind his neck. "I just... uh... someone's gotta make sure you don't eat, you know, poisonous plants, or... or whatever," he stammers, and Keaton snorts.

"Okay, Green," he proclaims, straightening and turning toward the gates. "Let's move, then."

"Nickname thief," Amery accuses, and Keaton blinks at her, unimpressed.

"It's literally his last name, Mer," he drawls. "Zero points for originality. You own nothing." Amery pouts, but the sound of Monty's laugh makes her lips quirk into a smile.

She grins at Monty as he shoves his hands in the pockets of his worn maroon jacket and follows her into the night.

✧✧✧

As the trio walks through the woods, traveling in the vague direction the pod must've gone in, Amery takes full advantage of Monty's sad excuse for tagging along.

"Can I eat this?" she asks, holding up a leaf. Monty smirks and nods. "What about this?" Amery asks, crouching down and grabbing a twig. She drops it before Monty can even respond, finding something better. "Wait, this?" she asks, holding up a large rock.

Monty drags his palms down his face in mock agony. Amery grins. "That's a yes, right?"

"Okay, Red," Monty quips, tossing a rock of his own in her direction. She catches it in one hand and drops the other, spinning and falling back into step with a very amused Keaton. "You go on and take a bite out of a rock and then have fun explaining to the camp why your teeth are chipped."

"Your fault for not warning me," Amery says in a singsong voice, and Keaton slaps the rock out of her hand. "Hey!"

Keaton raises a brow and stops walking, unimpressed. "If you're gonna break your mouth, it better at least be on something like that," he says, pointing to a huge boulder protruding from the earth. He smirks. "You coward."

A shock of cold on Amery's hairline makes her glance up, and she grins when she realizes that it's sprinkling.

"Rain," she sighs happily, holding out her palms and letting the water pool in them. The sensation makes her realize how thirsty she is. She lets the water fall right into her mouth and savors the cold running down the back of her throat, a relief she didn't know she needed. As the night fades away gradually, the drops of water seem illuminated even in the dimness of the dawn.

Shaking the water from her hands and pushing damp hair from her cheeks, Amery moves to step forward and continue her quest to the mysterious pod.

But Monty freezes, one arm shooting out to bar Amery from going further. He cranes his neck, squinting a little as he lets his arm fall.

"What?" Keaton asks from behind the pair.

"Voices," Monty murmurs, pausing for a second. "Clarke. That's definitely Clarke."

Amery doesn't wait. Her curiosity gets the better of her and she darts ahead of the boys and through the trees, ignoring their protests.

Her breath catches in her throat.

She's the last person Amery expects to see sitting casually on a damp rock, trademark red jacket matching the lines of caked blood down her temple. She holds a brown rag to her forehead as she glances up to talk to Clarke, but Amery barely even registers the other girl.

Amery's heart swells and the grin that splits her face is so intense it's almost painful, but she can't bring herself to care, because she's here— she's actually here.

"Raven!" Amery shouts, sprinting toward her and ambushing her in the tightest hug she can muster, every nerve in her body giddy at the reunion.

"Holy shit!" Raven screams, dropping the rag and hugging back so tightly that Amery can hardly breathe. After a moment of swinging back and forth in each others' arms, Raven holds the redhead at arm's length and jumps up and down. "I knew it! I knew it! I told Sinclair you were down here! Yes!"

Amery catches her breath, grinning, until her companion's smile fades a little.

"Why didn't you tell anyone? Amery, we were so worried about you," Raven says softly, tilting her head, in need of explanation. Amery feels a sort of guilt she hasn't felt in years.

"It wasn't planned," she confesses, feeling her cheeks heat up sheepishly. "I was fixing the comms when they got on the ship. I just... hid."

"Raven?"

"Little Sinclair!" Raven shouts, opening her arms as Keaton bounds over.

"Don't call me that, you're named after an extinct bird," Keaton mutters into the fabric of Raven's jacket. "Holy shit. I missed you."

"You fuckers," Raven exhales as she stands back and takes both of her friends in. "They think you're dead up there, you know." Tears seem to pool in Keaton's eyes as he realizes what his dad must be going through.

Amery's gaze shifts guiltily to the ground as she thinks about the people she left behind. There weren't a lot of connections on the Ark, but the ones she had... they were everything.

"I'm so sorry," she whispers, her voice cracking as the dirt beneath her starts to blur. Amery isn't used to apologizing. Or feeling like... this. Guilty. Exposed.

"Okay, so I'm out of shape," Monty pants as he jogs up to the trio, then does a double take at the sight of Raven. "Reyes?"

Raven cocks her head as she looks Monty up and down, trying to place him. "You know me," she observes, and Monty flushes a little. "Should I know you?"

"Nah. But yeah, I know you. All the engineer recruits do, dude," he murmurs, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably. "You're a Zero-G legend."

Raven smirks. "Good. I should be." Amery glances between Monty and Raven. Does he...?

No. Amery shakes off the thought. And if he does, what does it matter? It's not like she can blame him. Amery had the biggest crush on Raven when they worked together in Zero-G, before she found out about Finn.

Finn.

Oh, shit.

He strolls up and loops an arm around Raven's shoulders, pulling her in. Amery's brows shoot up as she looks around for Clarke, and sure enough, she looks like somebody offered her a week of double rations and then pulled them from under her nose.

That asshole, Amery thinks, eyes darting between Finn and Raven, wondering if she should say something. Is that really her place?

"What?" Raven asks, brows furrowing as she reads Amery's expression. She's always been perceptive— maybe too perceptive.

"Oh, I just— uh, how did you get down here?" Amery asks, covering her observations with the more obvious question.

Raven grins. As she explains how she rebuilt the pod from the scraphold on K-Deck— something Amery is wildly impressed by, because she could never— Amery analyzes the broken pod several feet away. Rusted metal paneling digs into the dirt, sparks flying from exposed wiring, but the pod is in amazing condition for a pile of scrap metal that just plunged through the atmosphere.

Amery shakes her head in amazement as Raven finishes her explanation. "You are a genius," she mutters, and turning to her side, she finds Monty and Keaton equally slack-jawed. Raven just shrugs.

"Not a big deal," she drawls. "Anyway, where's home for you guys?"

"Hey, Clarke!" Finn calls, presumably about to ask the blonde to lead Raven back to the camp and treat her head wound— a horrible idea, really. The girlfriend and the... what exactly is Clarke to Finn? A hookup? The other woman?

Amery doesn't get to ponder much longer, because Clarke's identity is apparently very important to Raven.

"Wait, you're Clarke? Clarke Griffin?" the brunette stops in her tracks, lips parted in shock.

"Uh... yeah," Clarke nods, confused, an air of irritation still surrounding her from the discovery that her space-walking lover is a two-timer.

"This was all because of your mom," Raven says slowly, approaching the blonde in awe. "This... was all her plan. We were trying to come down here together. If we waited—oh, my God," Raven mutters, staring at the ground as a she realizes something. She looks back at Clarke, eyes wide. "We couldn't wait because the council was voting whether to kill three hundred people to save air."

Amery blanches.

"What?" Keaton nearly shouts, taking a staggering step back. "What do you—how the—what?"

"A—when?" Clarke sputters, taking a step in front of Raven. Amery swallows hard.

She's got people in the sky. Sinclair. Kyle.

And Keaton and Monty have family up there, real family—she imagines it's worse for them.

"Today. We have to tell them you're alive!" Raven shouts, breaking into a run back toward the pod. She ducks inside and scrambles for something, her tresses of chestnut hair disappearing momentarily under the door.

"The radio's gone," she mutters as Amery reaches the pod. "It must've gotten loose during reentry. I should've strapped it to the A-strut. Stupid!" she shouts, hitting the side of the pod in frustration. Drops of water jump from the metal as she does, and Amery realizes the rain disappeared as quick as it came.

"Fuck," the redhead groans, rummaging around underneath the seat to see if the radio just tumbled down when it was dismantled. No luck.

"No, no, this is my fault. Someone got here before us," Clarke says, taking a step back. "We have to find him."

It clicks in seconds for Amery, and she almost bangs her head on the pod door as she shoots up, very narrowly avoiding it when Keaton nudges her head out of the way.

"You're welcome," he says flatly, but Amery's too busy being furious at their so-called leader to respond. That prick. Who does he think he is?

Monty glances at Amery as Clarke makes a break for the woods, and the redhead shrugs, finding it difficult to remain angry when she looks at his furrowed brows and tilted head.

"Are we...?" he trails off, gesturing vaguely in the direction Clarke bolted off in. Keaton sighs dramatically.

"Adventure to yell at Bellamy Blake?" Amery asks, and then she grabs Monty's hand and follows, trusting Keaton to keep up.

Her breath comes out short and fast, the harsh sound mingling with the pounding of feet on damp earth. Her hand is warm in Monty's as she all but drags him between the tree trunks, dodging rocks and feeling exhilarated at the sheer expansiveness of the outdoors, the real outdoors, beyond the gates. The pollen has been muted by the rain and Amery breathes in the scent of damp air and almost laughs in spite of the situation.

God, what a beautiful planet.

Amery emerges from between two trees, Monty's hand still clutched in hers, just as Clarke reaches Bellamy.

"Where is it?" she's demanding, grabbing the back of his jacket, and Bellamy doesn't so much as startle.

"Lover's quarrel," Keaton mutters as he appears beside her. Amery smirks.

"Hey, princess, you taking a walk in the woods?" he smirks, and Amery's blood boils as she remembers the gravity of the situation. Bellamy took the radio. Raven's radio. Their radio, their only hope of communicating with the Ark.

He took the radio.

Bellamy and Clarke slow to a stop, and Amery, Monty, and Keaton advance quietly into the clearing.

"They're getting ready to kill three hundred people up there to save oxygen, and I can guarantee you it won't be council members," Clarke berates the taller boy. "It'll be working people. Your people," she scolds, jabbing him in the chest with a finger.

Three hundred, Amery thinks, jaw tensing. Three times the number of kids they sent to the Ground.

Clarke gets right up in Bellamy's face, seething, as Finn comes running from the opposite direction, making a beeline for Bellamy and shoving him hard.

"Bellamy, where's the radio?" he demands as Amery tries to catch her breath. She is so not in shape.

Suddenly, Amery becomes incredibly conscious of the fact that she hasn't released her grip on Monty's hand. She drops it like it's on fire, hoping her loose strands of hair hide the flush of heat creeping up the back of her neck. She refuses to let herself look at Monty's reaction.

Not important, she chastises herself, focusing her attention on the argument in front of her.

Bellamy just shoves Finn back, staring him down. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Bellamy Blake?" Raven interrupts, voice taking on a higher tone of curiosity. "They're looking everywhere for you!"

The little red flag in Amery's head waves around triumphantly. She knew something wasn't right.

Bellamy Blake is like a disassembled engine with a few missing parts that Amery wants to make sense of, and here's another lost component: he's not supposed to be here and he knows it. He's taking drastic measures to make sure the Ark authorities keep their distance.

"Shut up," Bellamy growls.

"Looking for him, why?" Clarke asks, staring at Bellamy, not Raven.

"He shot Chancellor Jaha," Raven deadpans, making eye contact with Bellamy.

Amery can't help the sharp intake of breath at the words. Keaton stills beside her, and Monty just lets out a low whistle.

Her thoughts flicker to Wells, hot tears pricking at her eyes as she thinks of the boy tossing her the very clothes she's wearing.

Amery hates Thelonious Jaha. Everybody does, really. Maybe not Abby Griffin, maybe not Marcus Kane, but everybody on this planet. But as much of a pretentious, self-serving dick as he was, he was still Wells' father. He still makes her think of her friend, his body under the earth. Of the little girl who killed him and then herself. Of every other life that's been lost down here, and Amery doesn't want the number to keep rising.

Jaha is the person with the power to save the rest of them, with the power to send down people and food and weapons, if only they could contact him from the Ground.

"That's why you took the wristbands," Clarke realizes. "You needed everyone to think we're dead."

"All that 'whatever the hell we want?' You just care about saving your own skin," Finn says lowly. Amery is even angrier that she agrees with him.

"Asshole," Amery fumes under her breath, directed at both boys. Bellamy turns and walks in the other direction, but Raven isn't having it.

"Hey, shooter! Where's my radio?" Raven shouts, running after him and putting herself directly in his path. Her voice is laced with gasoline in a way that's all too familiar to Amery— not because she's been on Raven's bad side, but because their tempers have always been a little too similar. One wrong move and she'll blow.

"Get out of my way," Bellamy mutters, trying to push past the angry girl in front of him.

"Where is it?" Raven demands.

"I should've killed you when I had the chance," Bellamy shoots back. Amery is confused momentarily before she puts the sequence of events together.

Bellamy got to Raven first. Instead of helping her while she was bleeding from the head, he took her radio and left her.

Amery takes a step forward, infuriated, but Keaton grabs her elbow.

"Mer," he warns in a low voice.

Amery steps back, Monty placing a hand on her shoulder as she does.

"Really?" Raven muses, looking Bellamy up and down before leaning in. "Well, I'm right here."

Bellamy moves immediately, grabbing the front of Raven's jacket and throwing her against a tree. Before Amery can blink, Raven has a knife pointed at the boy's throat, the blade glinting from rays of sun peeking through the branches. She smirks.

"Where's my radio?"

That's my Raven.

"Okay, stop it!" Clarke says, looking between the two like a mother scolding her children. After a moment, Bellamy drops Raven and takes a few steps back.

"Jaha deserved to die. You all know that," Bellamy defends as he moves away again.

"No shit," Amery spits, glaring daggers at Bellamy. "But that doesn't give you an excuse to deprive every kid down here of contact with their families."

"And it definitely doesn't excuse you putting three hundred innocent lives on the line," Keaton hisses, and Amery knows he's thinking about his dad. Monty tenses at Keaton's words, and Amery thinks about Monty's parents up there, worrying about their genius of a kid.

She resolves to not let anything happen to him. To either of them. To any of them.

"Yeah, he's not my favorite person either," Raven scowls, "but he isn't dead."

Bellamy freezes at the same time Amery's head swivels so fast she nearly breaks her neck.

"What?" Bellamy murmurs.

Amery has never seen the boy look more surprised, more vulnerable. She's never heard his voice so soft and hesitant.

Raven smirks. "You're a lousy shot."

Amery presses a hand to her mouth to hide her smile. Bellamy had one job, and he didn't even do it right. Wells' dad is alive.

"Bellamy, don't you see what this means?" Clarke asks, getting close to him. "You're not a murderer. You always did what you had to do to protect your sister. That's who you are."

Amery doesn't agree with that, but she's too anxious to argue. Her hands fidget at her sides, unable to stay still as she hopes against hope that the radio is somewhere safe.

Sinclair. Kyle. The Ark. Their last chance.

"And you can do it again by protecting three hundred of your people," Clarke continues, looking at him with pleading eyes, surrendering her harsh persona. "Where's the radio?"

Bellamy keeps a natural expression, refusing to show emotion as he breaks the news that sends Amery's fingers curling into fists again.

"It's too late."

✧✧✧

a/n:

ahaha it's been so long i'm so sorry !!! school and the paper have been INSANE lately but i'm procrastinating my literary analysis prep to do this and i'm not sorry about that

how dare i procrastinate my writing with more writing

what did you think of the monty/amery moments in this one? they're makin' progress hehe but i really think this is gonna end up being a very drawn out/slow burn, if only because season one doesn't actually span that much time

also i just. i would die for cash. this poor man.

what do you wanna see next?!

thank you for reading i adore you all

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