(A/N: this chapter is going to be REALLY long. sorry!)

It had been about two weeks since Hongjoong finally called off the intimacy between the two. As Hongjoong said, they kept their relationship strictly professional. Once he was able to find a place of his own, he would leave Seonghwa's home for good, and things between them would settle down. Neither one showed just how devastating it was to them, there were still a lot of feelings there, but Hongjoong didn't listen to the attempts that Seonghwa made to fix things.

Normally, Hongjoong would give in and they would work on things, but the sense of betrayal hanging heavy on his heart was too great to forgive. He would forever respect Seonghwa and do anything that was asked of him, but Seonghwa wasn't available the way he needed him. There was no room for intimacy, only professionalism.

One morning while Hongjoong was still asleep in his own bed, he could hear the vibrations of his phone going off on the nightstand next to him. With his eyes only half-open, he rolled over in bed and grabbed the phone in his hand. He didn't recognize the number on the screen, but he decided that he would answer it anyway.

"Mm... Hello?" His voice was a bit raspy in a tired manner.

"Did I wake you?" A familiar smooth, deep voice sounded on the other line.

Hongjoong frowned slightly as he sat up in bed, recognizing who it was almost immediately. "Mr. Kang? How did you-"

"I got your contact information from Mr. Jung, I hope that's alright."

"Um... Yes, that's alright. Is there something that I can help you with? Is there something in the contract we need to go over?" Hongjoong replied, running a hand through his white hair.

"Actually, I'm not calling about business..."

Hongjoong raised his brows a bit and blinked. "Uh... Well, then what can I help you with, sir?"

"I enjoyed having drinks with you a couple of weeks ago, I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner at my home tonight."

Hongjoong was shocked by the man's proposal, he hesitated on an answer because he had no idea what he would say to that.

"I mean, if you're not interested..."

"No! It's not that I'm not interested, I just didn't expect something like this." Hongjoong swallowed hard, lowering his voice just in case Seonghwa was nearby to hear the conversation. "Who else is going to be there?"

"Just you and I..."

Hongjoong bit on his lip in thought, contemplating whether or not he should accept or not. After a small moment of silence, he let out a small sigh. "Alright, I'll join you for dinner tonight. What time should I come by?"

"Don't worry about finding your way here, I'll send a car to pick you up around seven o'clock. After all, I do know where you're staying." The man chuckled softly on the other end.

"I-I... Alright. 7 o'clock then, I'll be ready." 

"I'll see you tonight, Hongjoong. I look forward to it..." The other male said softly before hanging up the phone.

Hongjoong dropped his phone into his lap, biting on the inside of his cheek as he thought about what he had just agreed to. If Seonghwa found out, it wasn't going to be pretty, and he didn't want to hurt him anymore.

It's just dinner, Hongjoong... Nothing more than that. You aren't doing anything wrong. Hongjoong tried to reassure himself with his thoughts. A part of him knew that even if it was something more, he had the freedom to do so, but at the same time, his first thought was about Seonghwa, how he would feel about it.

This is my life... Not his... I can do what I want. Hongjoong convinced himself that it would be alright, then finally got up out of bed so he could start his day.

The nerves he had about the dinner later in the night vibrated in his gut, he didn't know how it was going to turn out, and he was honestly a bit scared.

_____________________

When he finished all the work that he needed to get done, Hongjoong returned to his room so he could freshen up before the car to pick him up arrived.

Hongjoong made his way into the bathroom, undoing the buttons on his shirt before stripping it off and tossing it to the floor. Taking in a deep breath, he walked to the shower and turned it on, then proceeded to strip off the rest of his clothing.

He stepped into the shower, closing his eyes when the warmth of the water flowed over his body. It was a slight sense of relief from the stressful day that he had, it was almost as if the water was just washing all of his problems down the drain.

After he finished up in the shower, he twisted the knob to turn off the water and stepped out. Hongjoong grabbed a towel from the rack beside the shower and started to dry himself off so he could finish getting ready. He sprayed his body with a musky sweet cologne, then started slipping on the clothes he laid out.

Hongjoong slipped on a slim pair of black pants, held up with a white belt, a grey thin, baggy, long-sleeved shirt with a deep V neck connected together by strings, the front of the shirt was tucked into the waistband, and a pair of grey leather boots. He styled his soft white hair in an elegant, brushed back fashion. Topping off the look with a silver chain choker and a pair of earrings, he was finally ready to go.

Hongjoong checked the time on his phone, and it was just five minutes before seven o'clock, so he figured he would head out to the front to wait for the car. He shoved the phone into the back pocket of his pants, then proceeded to walk to the door of his bedroom.

When Hongjoong opened the door, he was met face to face by Seonghwa, who had a single brow raised on his face. Seonghwa tilted his head slightly as he licked his bottom lip, looking the smaller male up and down. The black-haired male then leaned his face towards Hongjoong's neck, sniffing at the musky sweet cologne on him. Seonghwa knew he only wore that cologne when he was going out on a date, he had worn it many times when they would go out together, Seonghwa knew the intoxicating aroma by heart.

Standing up straight, Seonghwa looked down at Hongjoong, seeming very displeased. "Where are you going out like that?"

"I-I..." Hongjoong stammered a bit. "I'm meeting with a client..."

"Tch..." Seonghwa shook his head at the response, gritting his teeth. "You're lying to me. I know that cologne, I know it too well. Who are you going to see?"

Hongjoong knew he couldn't lie to Seonghwa, so he decided the truth would be better than the lie. "I'm having dinner with... With Yeosang Kang..."

Seonghwa suddenly looked away so Hongjoong wouldn't see the hurt forming in his eyes. He gave a subtle nod, then stepped to the side out of the doorway. "Alright then... Have fun..."

Hongjoong could sense that Seonghwa wasn't at all happy with this, it made his chest ache a bit. "Seonghwa, I... I don't have to go if you don't-"

The sound of a car horn outside made Seonghwa look down the hall towards the front door. The black-haired male drew a shaky breath, struggling to keep his composure. "Just go... Enjoy yourself."

"Seonghwa..."

"Hongjoong, just go. Leave." Seonghwa said in a bitter tone then walked off towards his room, disappearing into the room and slamming the door.

Hongjoong bit down on his lip hard, a lump growing in his throat, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he sighed out. Finally, he cleared his throat, quickly pulling himself back together before he headed for the front door.

He made his way down the long concrete walkway that led out to the circle drive, a wine-colored Nissan Altima waiting patiently for him. Opening the back passenger, he slid into the car with a stressed sigh.

"Nice to meet you, Hongjoong Kim, I'll be your driver for the evening, Vernon." The driver said with a smile as he looked at the smaller male in the back seat.

"Vernon... Just drive, alright? I'm not in the mood for a chat." Hongjoong put bluntly and looked out the window.

The driver nodded immediately, turning back to face in front of him and pulling off down the driveway. As they pulled away, Hongjoong couldn't help but stare back at the mansion, the thought of Seonghwa embedded in his mind. How hurt he looked, the way he didn't even put up a fight, Hongjoong couldn't figure out if he was making a mistake or not.

After about an hour of driving, the driver turned onto a narrow road lined with a thick brush of various trees. Before long, they broke through the line of trees, and the area opened up to an open lot with a large victorian style home that was almost big enough to be a mansion. The lot was dotted with various bushed of flowers. They pulled around into a circle drive that laid directly in front of a grand pair of steps leading up to the home.

When the car came to a stop, Vernon had gotten out of the car, quickly rounding to the other side of the car to let Hongjoong out. Hongjoong stepped out of the car, taking in the grand detail of this historic-looking home. Before long, a man came out through the front door, it was Yeosang.

As Yeosang was coming down the stairs with a welcoming smile, Hongjoong had a chance to take in the blonde-haired male's appearance. Yeosang was dressed in a sheer, white long-sleeve dress shirt that was loosely tucked into the waistband of a pair of dark blue jeans, white Italian dress shoes upon his feet. His hair was styled in a relaxed, almost messy fashion, but it fit him very well.

Hongjoong couldn't help but notice how beautiful this man was, it was almost like Yeosang was blessed by the divines, it made his cheeks heat up very slightly.

Yeosang came to a stop in front of Hongjoong, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. "Welcome to my beautiful home. You look..." Yeosang paused for a moment to look over the white-haired male. "Amazing. Beyond amazing..."

Hongjoong looked down at his feet, biting down on the soft flesh of his lip as he cleared his throat. "I-I, uh... Thank you."

"Shy, are we? I understand. We only just met through a fellow colleague not too long ago. I apologize if this is awkward to you, but I wanted to see you again." Yeosang reached out a hand, hooking a finger under Hongjoong's chin to make him look up. "Shall we go inside and have dinner?"

Hongjoong could feel a weird sensation vibrating in his gut, pulling his face away gently. "Ah... Yes. I'm starving." Hongjoong replied with a slight smile.

Yeosang then held out his arm, a charming smile curling upon his lips as he waited for Hongjoong. The white-haired male hesitated for a brief moment before hooking his hand around Yeosang's arm. He was then led up the stairs and into the home.

Once inside, Yeosang led the smaller male down a grand hallway, then walked into a large dining area that was the size of a small house itself. The victorian vintage decor was incredibly beautiful, almost something straight out of one of those home magazines.

The soft sound of Mozart played in the air from a record player in the corner of the room, the table was already set with plates of food set side by side, two glasses of red wine waiting as well.

As the two sat down at the table, Hongjoong wanted to compliment the home. "Your home is absolutely gorgeous, Mr. Kang."

"Please, just call me Yeosang. We don't need formality here. Let's just enjoy the food and get to know one another." Yeosang replied with a smile, giving a small nod.

"Oh... Alright, Yeosang." Hongjoong corrected himself with a slight smile, then started to dig into the food. "This all looks wonderful, thank you for inviting me."

"No, thank you for accompanying me tonight. You've just made my week." Yeosang said before taking a sip of wine.

Hongjoong blushed a bit awkwardly, he was picking up on the blonde-haired male's advances, but he didn't want to acknowledge them too much. He was still bothered by the thought of Seonghwa in his mind.

As the next couple of hours went by, Hongjoong started to relax a bit more. They finished dinner, a few glasses of wine later, and now they were just talking about each other's lives.

"So yeah... I discovered I had a knack for finding out things I wasn't supposed to know, and when I figured out that there was a job for this kind of thing, I jumped right into it. Oh, how it's totally fucked my life." Hongjoong said with a laugh, rubbing his forehead slightly.

Yeosang was so entranced by the white-haired male, he just grinned as he leaned on the table with one of his elbows. "Your laugh is so enlightening, it's almost prettier than the music."

Hongjoong tried to fight off a smile but to no avail. The more the other male began to flirt, the more he was starting to flirt back. "The only thing prettier than the music is you, but you aren't ready for that conversation yet."

"Oh, is that so?" Yeosang replied with a cheeky laugh, tilting his head.

"I don't tell lies. Or, at least I try not to." Hongjoong said with a shrug, sipping his wine with his left hand.

Yeosang was quick to notice that the wedding band was missing from Hongjoong's finger, that was all the confirmation he needed to try and get closer to him.

"Hongjoong, would you like to dance with me?" Yeosang leaned a bit closer to Hongjoong, holding out a hand to him.

Hongjoong looked down at his hand then shook his head. "Oh... No, no. I don't dance. I'm okay with just talking."

"Come on, I'll teach you." Yeosang persisted, grabbing ahold of Hongjoong's hand gently and standing up with him.

Hongjoong was pulled away from the table by Yeosang, resisting slightly. "No, seriously. I can't dance."

Yeosang grabbed ahold of both of the smaller male's hands and placed them around his neck, his own hands resting upon Hongjoong's waist as he pulled him into his chest. Hongjoong widened his eyes slightly as he was now just inches away from the blonde-haired male's face.

"Just sway like this with me..." Yeosang said in a soft tone, starting to sway back and forth with Hongjoong. "There's nothing to it."

After a bit, Hongjoong finally relaxed into the dance, getting a better feel of it all. He had to admit he enjoyed this feeling of warmth and vulnerability of the moment, the way that Yeosang held him like a delicate flower, the way their bodies moved in perfect unison.

Yeosang then spun the smaller male in a circle, a laugh of enjoyment coming from Hongjoong when he faced Yeosang again. The blonde-haired male then adjusted his hands a bit before sending Hongjoong into a dip, smiling widely at his reaction.

When Yeosang pulled Hongjoong back up, their faces were just centimeters apart. Hongjoong seemed to suddenly freeze when he noticed that Yeosang was now staring at his lips. Hongjoong could feel his heart thud in his chest, he didn't know if he should pull away or not. Before he could even protest, Yeosang had leaned in and connected his soft lips against his.

The kiss didn't last very long before Hongjoong pulled away, putting a hand to his mouth and shaking his head. "I can't do this. I'm sorry, I can't."

Yeosang let go of Hongjoong with a slight frown. "Is it something I did? Did I do something wrong?"

"No... Listen, thank you for everything, but I can't do this with you. You're not the one I'm in love with..." Hongjoong took a step back, looking down at his feet. "There's only one man in my life that I love, and I abandoned him... I'm sorry, Yeosang, I just can't."

Yeosang made a disappointed face but gave an understanding nod. "I get it. I apologize for my advances, I got ahead of myself."

"Please... I would just like to go home now. Tonight was fun, but I need to go back." Hongjoong scratched the back of his neck, he couldn't even look up at Yeosang now.

"Of course. Vernon should still be outside with the car. Just ask him to take you home." Yeosang said with a gentle smile.

"Thank you..." Hongjoong gave a subtle nod, then quickly turned on his heels and walked out of the room.

After asking Vernon to take him home, he was already in the car, staring out of the window as tears flowed down his face. He regretted the choice he made, every choice he made for that matter. As much as he tried to deny his love for Seonghwa, he would never be able to love anyone other than him, and he had just tossed him away for a moment of temptation.

When they got back to Seonghwa's estate, Hongjoong quickly thanked Vernon before rushing inside. It was already super late at night, Seonghwa would probably be in bed already, but he just hoped that he was awake for some reason.

With tears still coming down his face, he jogged down the hall to Seonghwa's bedroom, opening the door and to his surprise, the lights were still on, and Seonghwa was sitting on the edge of his bed with a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

After hearing his door open, followed by the sounds of sobs, Seonghwa looked up to see the smaller male standing in his doorway, sniffing as Hongjoong sobbed. Out of concern, Seonghwa stood up as he set the bottle down on his nightstand.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Seonghwa questioned as he took a step towards Hongjoong.

Hongjoong immediately rushed over to Seonghwa, colliding into him as he threw his arms tightly around Seonghwa. "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I'm so difficult..."

Seonghwa blinked in shock as he looked down at Hongjoong. He didn't know what to do at first, but finally wrapped his arms around the smaller male and hugged him tightly.

"I'm so sorry, Seonghwa... I regret everything I've done. I can't love anyone else besides you, please forgive me." Hongjoong sobbed into Seonghwa's chest.

Seonghwa felt his chest clench as he held the hysterical male in his arms. "Joong... Stop crying and look at me..."

It took a while for Hongjoong to compose himself before he looked up at Seonghwa with red, puffy eyes, soft hiccups escaping from his mouth.

Seonghwa placed both hands on each side of Hongjoong's face, looking him in the eyes. "You're a fucking idiot... You're reckless, your attitude gives me a splitting headache, you're so damn stubborn and you get on my nerves every second of every day. But that's what I love about you, you challenge my authority and piss me off." Seonghwa said with a slight chuckle.

"I'm so sorry..." Hongjoong said with a saddened frown.

"Stop being sorry. I don't want you to change the person you are because I'm in love with the person you already are."

"Do you forgive me?" Hongjoong questioned as he tilted his head a bit.

"No... I don't. But that doesn't mean I'm going to refuse your apology and push you away. What you did hurt me more than you think it did, and it's going to take time for me to fully forgive you, but I'm more than willing to work on it." Seonghwa gave a subtle smile.

Hongjoong sighed a bit then gave a nod, furrowing his brows before looking at his feet... "I understand..."

"Stop sulking, big baby." Seonghwa rolled his eyes a bit, he needed to console the other male so he would stop behaving like this.

Seonghwa reached a hand down and tapped on Hongjoong's inner thigh, signaling for him to jump up. Hongjoong immediately jumped up, and Seonghwa supported him with his arms as he carried the smaller male to his bed.

Seonghwa sat on his bed before laying down with Hongjoong laying on top of his chest, holding him securely. Hongjoong buried his face into Seonghwa's neck, closing his eyes with another sigh. Seonghwa pressed his lips against the lobe of the smaller male's ear, humming a soft tune in his ear while rubbing his back soothingly.

After a while, Hongjoong had calmed down enough to where he just fell right to sleep on top of Seonghwa, and Seonghwa himself had even passed out after the alcohol finally caught up to him. Seonghwa didn't forgive him for what he'd done, but he wanted to hold him in his arms more than anything at that point.

They were both at fault. Seonghwa had pushed Hongjoong so far away, lied to him, broken promises, and betrayed his lover in more ways than one. Hongjoong had constantly pushed Seonghwa past his limits, demanded so much from him, and his patience was very thin with Seonghwa.

They both had done things that were not healthy for a relationship, but if they really tried to work through everything together, they could somehow make it work the final time around.

****THE STORY WILL CONTINUE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER. THANK YOU FOR READING****