hi guys it's currently 3AM and I just finished studying for my Psych exam on Monday and I also have laundry in the dryer so I figured 'why not update? u know i had to do it to em' here. enjoy.

What song(s) remind you of this book?

"How was your week?" Maya asks when I pick her up from her last class on Friday afternoon.

"Fine..." I trail. In all honesty, it wasn't too bad. We're preparing for midterms, which are just next week, so all I've been getting are study guides. I've also been in the library all week, so I haven't had time to even think about Asa and Aria. Except I did. A lot. The few times that I've seen Asa in passing, he was alone. Maya hasn't mentioned anything about him after she texted me Monday night that he got home at 12:30 in the morning. "How was yours?"

"Long," she sighs loudly. "But let's not even get into it."

"Are we stopping for food?" I inquire as I start in the direction of her apartment.

"No, I'm cooking dinner tonight so we can just wait. Unless you're hungry?" she wonders with raised brows. I shake my head and she nods. "It might be just us tonight. I think Asa's going out again."

"Cool," I say as I stop at a red light. I tap slowly along the steering wheel and I feel her gaze on me. I look at everything but her as I wait for her to say what's on her mind.

"Do you like him?" she blurts and I feign surprise. I knew the question was coming. I've been waiting for it all week.

"No," I answer casually. I can't tell if I'm being honest. I genuinely don't know whether or not I like him. Sometimes, I think I do.

"You know you can tell me, right?" she replies after a few seconds of staring at me dubiously.

"So you can tell him?" I mutter and she scoffs in disbelief.

"I would not!" she denies the accusations. I let out a loud huff as I thrum my fingers along the wheel contemplatively. "So is that a yes?"

"It's an 'I don't know,'" I answer again with a confused shrug. I regrip the wheel once the light turns green and continue driving.

"We are talking about like...crush, right?" she trails awkwardly and I offer a slow nod.

"Yes," I conclude with a disappointed sigh.

"Okay, good," she agrees. "Well, what don't you know?"

"Well, for one, the last thing I need is to develop a crush on anyone, especially not Asa," I grunt, which gets a small frown from Maya.

"What's wrong with Asa?" she wonders quietly.

"He's confusing as hell," I state the obvious. "I sometimes feel like he doesn't even want to be associated with me. Other times, I...I don't know." I feel stupid for proposing the idea that maybe he's flirting with me, too. I decide to not even bring it up and instead, shake my head and keep my eyes locked on the road.

"Yeah, Asa can be hard to read at times," she confirms with an understanding nod.

I let out another long breath. It feels good to get this out to someone other than Aaliyah, who keeps trying to convince me that he's in love with me. But, for some reason, I was hoping Maya would provide some more insight. She is his best friend after all. Not to mention, if she knows he's interested in me, even if it's only a little, it'd help speed up the process of us potentially getting together.

"Yeah...I know," I grumble quietly. We're silent for the rest of the ride back to the apartment. In fact, even our hanging out is hushed once we settle down in the living room. Asa is the first one to break the silence when he exits his bedroom and distractedly starts towards the couch. His gaze unlocks from his phone as he slows to a stop a few feet away.

"Maya," Asa starts when his head snaps up. He hesitates when he spots me snuggled up underneath a blanket. I watch as his chest falls a bit and immediately rummage through my brain for a reason as to why he may be upset to see me. He turns his attention back to his best friend, who is stuffing her face with chips. "Maya."

"Hm," she says with her attention locked on the television. She hadn't even noticed he was standing there until he spoke.

"Aria's coming over for dinner," he announces and I unintentionally tense up a bit. He glances back at me and I hope he doesn't ask what that was about. Instead, he poses another good, arguably even better, question: "are you eating here, too?"

"Mmhmm," Maya answers for me, which gets a slow nod from Asa. With a slightly distraught look on his face, he turns and heads towards the front door. It's my turn to gather Maya's attention. Expecting to have to snap her out of her television trance, I'm surprised to find her already bearing a wide grin at me.

"I don't want to eat here now," I confess under my breath and the smile on her face only broadens.

"Why? Are you jealous?" she questions while dropping another chip into her mouth. I shake my head and stare at the door he just noisily shut.

"No, he just looked so annoyed at the fact that I'm going to be here," I mumble with a swift shake of my head. I also don't want to watch him flirt with her during dinner. That'll be very, very uncomfortable for me. "I don't want to make things awkward."

"You'll be fine," she waves me off dismissively. "Come on. Help me cook."

She rises up and watches me remain in my spot. After waiting for a few seconds, she lets out a groan and grabs my arms. In a confident fashion, she attempts to tug me up to no avail. Eventually, I give in and get up, grumbling quietly about how much I hate her. A half hour later, the front door opens and the sound of footsteps fall into the apartment. I listen from the kitchen as Asa's door opens and closes, essentially submerging me and Maya into silence again. 

Once the food gets closer to being done, I excuse myself to the bathroom to avoid having to gather Asa and Aria. I hide away until I hear Maya loudly knock on their door and announce that dinner's done. I wait until they're in the kitchen to bother slinking in, hoping that I somehow go unnoticed for the bulk of dinner.

As I'm about to enter, I hear a girlish voice. "Where's Ivy?" I awkwardly walk into the room and find Asa leaning against the counter with his head craned in my direction. We immediately lock eyes before my gaze travels to the very short, petite girl a few feet away from him. A pile of bright red, spiral curls sit at the base of her neck in a messy fashion with a few choice twists framing her heart shaped face, which is covered in freckles. Her large green eyes meet mine and she assesses me in an excitable manner. I wonder what Asa's told her about me for her to like me this much already. She bounces over until she's directly in front of me and extends a small hand and as I'm taking it, I suddenly realize how much bigger I am than her. She makes me feel like a giant height wise; let's not even get into how much curvier I am than her.

"You must be Aria," I reply, trying to sound equally as cheerful. It's clear that I'm nowhere near as peppy as her. It surprises me that Asa can surround himself with someone so happy. Here I was thinking that Maya was too jubilant for him.

"You probably haven't heard half as much about me as I have about you," she grins widely at me. I mean, all Asa had to do was mention me a week before she came about and that fact would be true. Asa offers her a short glare once he processes the words that leave her mouth.

"I doubt that," I smile at her before glancing at Asa. "But then again, he doesn't tell me anything, so who knows?"

"Consider yourself lucky. He talks a lot," Aria teases Asa, who allows his annoyed gaze to flit between the both of us.

"You see why I didn't want this to happen?" he turns to Maya, who is cackling evilly as she sets the table.

"Sit, sit," Maya insists while placing the drinks on the table. Asa sits across from me, leaving Maya at one of my sides and Aria at the other. I keep my eyes locked on my food as I listen to the sprouting conversation. "How was Guatemala?"

"It was great!" Aria explains enthusiastically. "The people were so friendly and the food was so good."

She continues to explain her trip abroad, which is where I'm assuming she was these last few months. "That's great," Maya nods when Aria talks about all the volunteer work she did. "Why'd you come back so early?"

"Well, I went in early August so it didn't really line up with the semester," she replies with a slow nod. "I just have a seminar class about the experience until the end of the semester."

The conversation travels and eventually, is turned upon me. "Ivy," Aria starts and I look up from my plate and offer an awkward smile. "Tell me about you."

I'm caught off guard by the broad statement. What the hell does she want to know? "Uh..." I trail like an idiot. Asa stares at me with a pained expression on his face and I can tell he's also internally cringing for my sake.

"Start off with your year and major," Aria encourages.

"An icebreaker, nice," Asa mutters quietly. He lets out hushed grunt and I'm almost positive she kicked him beneath the table.

"I'm a sophomore and my majors are history and secondary education," I explain weakly. I probably sound lame.

"You want to be a teacher? That's so cool!" she cheers with a wide grin. "I used to want to be a teacher but politics is my passion."

"You're a Political Science major?" I assume and she gives a proud nod.

"Human Rights minor," she pipes in with a wiggle of her brows. "I want to change the world someday."

"Me, too," Maya agrees with a strong nod.

"You know, you've been so eager to meet her Aria and everything she's told you, I could've said," Asa mumbles quietly. I'm slightly surprised at the bluntness of his statement and the way her middle finger rises and shifts in his direction.

The conversation persists with the girls dominating it. Aria and I go back and forth getting to know each other and Maya helps to guide it. Asa only cuts in when he doesn't like the direction the conversation is going in, like when we start talking about him, for example. He eventually cuts in that they have a movie to catch and that they need to get going.

"Do you guys want to come?" Aria invites eagerly as she looks between me and Maya. Before we can even think of an answer, Asa quickly dismisses the request.

"No, they don't," he retorts. "We've all spent enough time together for today."

"Don't be a buzzkill," Aria grunts as she stands up. "It was nice meeting you, Ivy"

"You, too," I reply awkwardly. I don't even know if I'm telling the truth. I ate with her for a little over a half hour and I still can't tell if she's more than friends with Asa or what.

"We should hang out again soon. I love meeting Asa's friends," Aria announces before shoving him in the direction of his room. I sit awkwardly at the table, absorbing her statement. What do I take from that? Maya doesn't even seem to notice Aria's choice of words because she just begins to clear the table. I decide not to think too much and instead, join in on the cleaning.

+++

I go through the week in a slightly irritated mood. Whenever Aria comes up in conversation, I try to vaguely interrogate Maya about the relationship between Aria and Asa but it always fails. So far, my attempts have been fruitless and I'm getting impatient. If Asa had a girl on the side and was (supposedly) flirting with me, then I'm going to be angry. I'm also going to be angry at Maya, who encouraged me so much and let Asa bounce back and forth between two girls.

I pull up outside of the apartment with Maya in the passenger's seat. I idle in a spot in order to let the cars behind me pass while Maya surveys the vehicles surrounding the apartment building. With a nod of her head, she acknowledges a white four door a few spaces up. I don't even have to ask whose car it is because I already know; it's been here every day this week.

"Aria's here," she notes as she unbuckles her seatbelt. She turns to me with a raised brow. "You coming inside?"

"No," I answer quite bluntly. Maya sits there for a second staring at me and I just keep my eyes locked on the steering wheel.

"Are you okay?" she wonders and I give a sharp nod, feeling slightly guilty for snapping at her like that.

"I just have cramps," I lie. "I'm going to go back to my dorm and take a nap."

"Text me if you need anything," she says as she grabs the door handle. I watch as she runs around the car and up the steps to the building. I wait until she's inside to pull off down the street. I practically speed in the direction of my dorm.

I know I like Asa. Maya knows I like Asa, even if I haven't admitted it to her. She knows that I'm cautious about Aria. Why doesn't she say something to comfort me or to explain the situation? Instead, she lets me beat around the bush like an idiot because I'm too prideful to seem curious and jealous. Besides, if I'm too blunt, she'll just tell me to ask Asa myself and I'm definitely not going to do that. I just wish someone would tell me who Aria is, not just the surface facts.

I know she just came back from a semester abroad in Guatemala. I know she's been talking to Asa for a while now. I know Maya knows her well enough to not ask Asa any questions about her. But who the hell is she? Is she an old fling? An old crush? A good friend? I grit my teeth in frustration as I try to think about all the things I know about her. I know she referred to me as Asa's friend.

Am I reading too much into all of this? Given, I haven't had a single conversation with Asa in about a week, which is a long time for us. I usually talk to him every day, even if it's briefly in passing in the cafeteria if we happen to see each other. Plus, I'm usually always at their apartment, except I've been keeping my distance this past week because every time I drop Maya off, Aria's there.

I reach my dorm in record time and park the car in a swift motion. I slam the door behind me and forcefully lock it before taking the stairs up to my room two at a time. Just as I reach my floor, I see Danica walking into our room with a guy trailing closely behind her. I begin to pick up speed, feeling the frustration start to pour out of me. Just as I reach the room, I hear the door lock and I grab the knob and give it a strong wiggle. Obviously, it doesn't give. I pound on the door twice and there's no response, so I take it upon myself to unlock it.

I shove the door open and look at Danica, who's now laying on the bed with the random guy. "No, you're not doing this today," I inform her as I cross her side of the room to mine. As she sits up, an annoyed look takes over her face as if I'm being the asshole. "You do this every other day. No. Go to his room or something. I don't care. It's not happening here."

"Ivy," she says as he awkwardly gets up and excuses himself from the room. I watch him go and tell him to shut the door on his way out. He silently does so I grab a pair of sweatpants from my dresser and start changing.

"What?!" I snap back at her as I turn around. I take my book bag off of my back and let it fall to the ground. "You always do this. I pay thousands of dollars for this room yet I can never be in here. I'm not doing it anymore, Danica."

"Did your boyfriend break up with you or something?" she snaps as she ties her arms across her chest. I ignore her and change my shirt, feeling my anger continuously increase in an upward trend. I continue to pretend she isn't talking, which, for some reason, encourages her to keep yapping. "It's my room, too, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm well aware," I retort, feeling myself snap, "because I take you into consideration when making decisions about this space. For example, I don't have sex with people midday and force you to spend hours doing nothing around campus. And I also don't bring people over when you're in the shower and lock you out. Plus, I don't slip guys in when you run downstairs to get a drink from the vending machine. And I definitely don't bring people here when you're sleeping!"

"If it's been bothering you so much, why didn't you say something before?" she bites back with a sour look on her face.

"Because you're always too fucking hungover to have a conversation!" I scream before grabbing my bed post. I let out a shaky sigh as I quickly gather my belongings.

"You just made a big deal out of me having company just to leave?" she asks as she watches me shove my feet into my shoes.

"It's better that I leave so I don't beat the shit out of you," I tell her in a huff as I start towards the door.

"Did you just threaten me?" she calls after me but I keep walking.

My full intention was to just get into my car and drive but of course, I somehow find myself parked outside of the all-too familiar apartment building. I don't even bother checking to see if Aria's car is still here. I start up towards the apartment, texting Maya when I'm in the elevator. I don't get a response but I let myself in anyway.

I push open the door and find Asa heading towards the bathroom. He turns around and greets me with a curious and confused expression on his face. "Are you okay?" he asks after a few seconds of us just staring at each other. I snap out of it when I realize he's shirtless and that Aria is probably here and they were doing whatever it is that they do in his room. I shut the door behind me.

"Where's Maya?" I blurt as I start in the direction of her room.

"She went in to her shift early," he explains as I stop outside of her door, I let out a long sigh and put my head in my hands. "Did something happen?"

I pace a little, trying to contemplate whether or not I should go back to my dorm or just stay here. I grab the doorknob to Maya's room and push it open. "I'm taking a nap," I tell him without a second glance. I shut the door behind me and practically leap onto her bed.

A few hours later, I'm woken up by someone lightly shaking my shoulder. "Maya?" I ask as I roll onto my back and look up at the person hovering above me. I sigh in defeat when I find that it's just Asa.

"Ouch," he mutters when he acknowledges the fall of my shoulders. "I made dinner, though, if that makes it better."

"Is it just us?" I grumble sourly as I roll back onto my stomach. My voice comes out muffled but I think he understands.

"Yeah, it's just us," he assures me in the same quiet tone.

"I'll be out in a minute," I respond and I listen to his footsteps leave the room. I pull myself into a sitting position and wipe my eyes. I heave myself out of bed, stretch, and start in the direction of the kitchen.

"Hi," he greets me awkwardly from his spot at the table. I take in my surroundings; there's a plate and drink set out for me and he has the same set up before him. I take a seat and pick up a fork, which I use to stab at the food he's prepared.

"Hi," I grumble quietly, clearing my throat to get rid of the hoarseness.

"You okay?" he asks after staring at me for a bit. I felt his gaze and didn't bother to look up, knowing it would only make me want to tell him what happened, save for the bit about me being easily enraged because of my jealousy.

"Perfect," I conclude with a slow nod.

"You don't seem perfect," he responds. "You've been a bit off all week."

"How would you know? You didn't even see me," I reply a bit rudely.

"Exactly," he acknowledges, "usually you're always here hanging out with Maya...and me."

I contemplate telling him that he's found new people to hang out with but decide against it. I don't want to come off as needy or petty or just bothered in general. I swallow nervously and offer him a shrug. "You worrying about me again, Asa?" I take the risk of looking at him and force a smirk onto my face.

I expect him to do his usual scowl and tell me to forget he asked. Instead, he searches my face and gives me a weak nod. "Yeah, I am," he answers and I quickly look away.

"I got into a fight with Danica," I tell him while moving the food around on my plate. I take another bite of it and silently admire his kitchen talent.

"Over the sexiling?" he asks and I look back up at him.

"Yeah," I start, "I had to leave the room though because I told her I was going to beat the shit out of her."

The serious look on his face is quickly wiped away as an accidental laugh escapes from his lips. "I don't doubt it," he says through his chuckles. I let a small fall onto my mouth as I bob my head up and down.

"I totally would," I inform him as I cover my mouth. We chuckle together for a few seconds before he quickly changes the subject.

"Okay, so that explains why you were upset today..." he trails and I return my gaze to my dinner.

"Wow, this is some really good food..." I announce as I point to the plate in front of me.

"Poison," he attempts and I let out a loud sigh. "I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I am," I respond before daring another peek up at him. "Are you?"

He gives me a slow nod as if not exactly positive about it himself. "Yeah..." he trails and I laugh quietly.

"You don't sound so sure about that," I mumble and he lets out a quiet chuckle as if thinking about some secret.

"You don't either," he comments back sassily.

We sit like that for a while more, talking quietly and eating slowly. I eventually decide that it's time for me to go and rise to my feet. He takes my plate and I insist on washing it, which he denies. He places them in the sink and walks me to the front door. "Are you sure you're alright?" he questions and I give him a nod.

"Are you?" I ask again and the edges of his lips turn upward as if a smile is coming on.

"Are you worrying about me?" he asks, taking on my role. Rather than giving me a smug look, he looks genuinely amused in the lightest and most positive way I've seen in a while.

"Yeah, I am," I answer with a short bob of my head.

We stand there for a second and it's only a little awkward. It's as if we're both calculating whether or not we're close enough friends to hug and if either of us is daring enough to initiate it. I decide to end the moment by reaching for the doorknob and offering him one last smile before leaving.