"She shouldn't be home alone. No driving either. Does she live on her own?" I hear the nurse go over everything to Paul. They gave shit to help with the cramping. It was strong. I slept most of yesterday away from it and am now just waking up.

"No. I live with her. I'll be with her the whole time." I hear Paul's response. I'm not shocked to hear him say that. I mean, he pretty much does live with me, doesn't he? I feel safe going home with him. I know he will take care of me. I won't be alone.

"The instructions are right here on her discharge papers." The nurse circles a big paragraph on the sheet. "The hospital pharmacy downstairs already filled her prescriptions." She hands Paul a bag.

"You need to watch her, though. Her moods, her appetite, her fever. If she starts bleeding heavier-" 

"He gets it." I stop her there and let them know I'm awake and to save Paul from any more traumatic talk about bleeding.

"Hey. How're you feeling?" Paul turns to me and takes my hand. I look up at my bodyguard and nod. The nurse heads out in search of  wheelchair for me

"Ready to go home." I sit up a little. "My home." I specify, and Paul knows what I'm saying. Not the fricken community center at Nate's.  I don't even know what to do or say when I see Nate. I'm sure he's happy this happened.  Paul can read my mind.

"Nate's been worried about you. He's actually driving me nuts. Please call him when we get home. To your home...I mean." Paul stumbles and runs his hand through his hair nervously. This is a side of him I've never seen.

"It's pretty much your home too, Paulie. You can just say home." I correct him.

We had to take an Uber home because I was brought in by ambulance. It was not a fun ride. My whole body hurts. Unsure if from the fever or from... everything... but every pothole, every sharp turn, every bump made me wince.

Paul sets me up on the couch at home and sets up a tv tray for everything I need. My pills, water, crackers, the remote, my phone, and the charger.

At first, I think he's gonna leave or go in his room. I remember he was pissed at me before this happened. But Paul kicks off his shoes, sits next to me, and puts his arm around me. I settle in under his arm and fall asleep.

 *****

*James*

 I feel Julia climb into my bed and spoon me. Maggie, who is lying against my torso, perks up now, wanting her attention.

Traitor.

"Hey, sweet girl. I probably scared you, huh. I'm sorry, James." Julia rests her chin on my shoulder. "I'm sorry to you too, Mags."

I turn around, and the dog hops off the bed. I look at Julia while she studies my face. She can tell I've been upset. She kisses my lips before speaking.

"You're really struggling, huh."

I really am, babe. I'm struggling so bad right now and don't know what to do about it. I cry, and she kisses each tear as it falls.

"We'll get better. Both of us. C'mon." 

We head to my house but first hit the grocery store. I know I have nothing in my fridge. The last time I was in a grocery store was when I bumped into Joe. I haven't been able to go into one since. I cross off any place I see him and never go back. But this isn't the same grocery store so I'm not nervous.

I'm not nervous at all, actually.  I feel normal. This feels normal. With Julia.

We load the groceries into the trunk right before Julia freezes.

"We gotta go."

I follow her eyes to see who she is looking at in the parking lot.

That bastard Jeremy. In his car. Right across the way. He lowers his phone and makes eye contact with Julia, who then drops the keys and fumbles to get into the car like I do. She haphazardly backs out of the space and gets the finger from someone she almost hits. She slams on the brakes and pulls back in, clearly shaken up. If I could, I'd drive us the hell outta here. But I haven't been behind the wheel since the accident, so now is not the time to be brave and try new things.

Jeremy is bold. He walks right up to the SUV. I hold Julia's hand, but  she lets go when I squeeze a little too tightly.

"I'm sure Nate has talked to you."

 "You're not supposed to be near me." Julia is visibly shaken.

"It doesn't matter. It's over. I really could have helped you, Julia. I hope you do find someone who can help you the way you need." He turns to leave it at that.

"What do you mean, it's over??"

"Nate didn't tell you... Julia. I'm sorry things didn't work out in your favor, Ok? I know what I did was wrong. I'm getting the help I need. I hope you do too. My lawyer is friends with Nate's lawyer. He advised you to drop the charges."

"WHAT?!" She holds on to the steering wheel so tight her knuckles are white. Jeremy is bold.  He puts his hand on Julia's cheek and she freezes.

"You're not well. It's over, Julia. I have too much on you, and you know it. Just.... find a good therapist. That's all I wish for you. Get yourself healthy."

And just like that, he walks away. Julia stares at him until there's nothing more to see. I pat her thigh a few times, waking her out of her trance so we can head home. She gets upset but quietly, for Maggie. By the time we are home, though, she is calm.

"Let's just forget about it, yeah? We can have a good day. Make dinner together. Drink wine." She fakes a smile that I see right through as she pulls into my driveway. 

Once inside, I can tell Julia is relaxed. It feels like home to her. And it should. I want it to feel like home to her. I want her to feel like this could be her home. We put the groceries together like we've been married for twenty years. She opens a bottle of wine, and we bring out a plate of cheese and fruit to the backyard. Maggie is so happy to be home, and it puts a huge smile on my  face. Julia curls up on the couch next to me, and I wrap my arm around her. We both close our eyes when the sun hits our faces.

This is how it would be, Julia. Calm. Peaceful. No drama. Home.

We drink wine, and Julia helps me eat a little. I get frustrated, but she never minds helping me. Then Maggie decides to get hungry, so I start to get up.

"No. You sit. I got this. I know where her food is." Julia stands but wobbles a little after two glasses of red wine, making me laugh. Lightweight. 

 "I'm a bit tipsy." She admits before going in to feed Mags. A few minutes later she comes out with a blanket and curls up with me again. This is probably the most relaxed I've ever seen her. This is how it should be. I can't help but look down and kiss the side of her head. then her cheek. I feel the familiar twinge and kiss the corner of her mouth. With her eyes still closed, Julia ticks her head up and gives me a slight smile.

I kiss her lips.

Over and over again. Soft light pecks of my lips touching hers unable to be the one to back away.  I tuck her hair behind her ears and continue my soft kisses, now feeling myself harden.

Julia takes my hand, and we stand up. I lean in and kiss her perfect lips again.

"James..." She breathes out as my lips trace her jawline.

"Take me to your room."

And I do.

I take Julia to my bedroom. My private space. I show her what it would be like if she loved me the way I love her. I show her what it would be like to make love right here, in this house. Not just sex. Real love. Because that's what this is. I REALLY love her. I want to be with her forever. I want to have her toothbrush next to mine and  her clothes in my dresser.

I make love to her and show her what her forever would be like with me.

"James.. I've... I've never felt this." Julia blurts out, feeling exactly what I'm feeling.

"I'm...." She doesn't finish her sentence. She comes undone multiple times under me, each orgasm more intense than the previous one. 

I hear myself let out the slightest "Oh" as I hit my high, sending Julia to another for herself. I rock slowly until I'm finished and then balance on my forearms to look at the  beautiful woman. We gaze at each other  before I kiss her lips again and melt down into her.

This is what it would be like, Julia. If you chose me, this is what it would be like.

And it would be perfect.

******

*Trisha*

I wake up and hold on to my stomach as the cramping continues. I'm not good with this shit. I hate medical stuff.  But I'm bleeding and need to go to the bathroom to take care of myself. 

Paul fell asleep next to me, watching tv and opens his eyes, like his bodyguard self, when he sees me trying to stand, but keeling over holding my stomach.

"Hold on. Lemme help you." His deep raspy just woke up voice says as he jumps up.

"No.. you don't want to be in there." I warn. 

"Well, let me at least help you get there.." Without another thought, Paul swoops me up into his arms like I'm fucking 100 pounds like Julia and takes me to the bathroom. He gives me my privacy and closes the door behind him. When I'm done he helps me back to the couch. 

I was doing well...until I wasn't.

I glance over to the side table and that's when I lose it.

I pick up the heavy book and flip through the pages of what pregnancy would have been like for me, and start to cry. The book, even Paul read, because he was invested in knowing how to take care of me and what to expect. More than Nate ever was.

Once again, Paul swoops in and takes the book out of my hands, quickly throwing it in the kitchen trash and then pulling me in to his chest while I lose my shit.

"I was gonna try and make it work!" I cry out as he nods and brushes his fingers through my hair in a calming way. "With or without Nate's help, I was gonna make it work!"

"I know, hun." It's the first time Paul has ever called me anything but my name. I look up at his dark smoldering eyes. 

"I feel so empty." It's the only way to describe it. I feel hollow, emotionally.

"And you know what hurts the most? The way he treated me when I was pregnant. The way he is probably so relieved right now while I sit here popping pain pills and bleeding out." I admit, catching Paul off guard.

He pulls me in tighter and rests his chin on the top of my head just like Nate would. He says nothing because there's nothing to say. And when there's nothing to say, Paul remains silent, saving his words. But I can tell he's thinking. What I said stabbed at him a little because he knows Nate was rotten to me, wanting nothing to do with me. And I know he thinks of Nate as family. 

But sometimes, that's how family members can be. Rotten. Rotten when things don't go their way.