*James*

"It'll be fine." Nate kisses the top of Julia's head and rushes out with Trisha first thing in the morning. This will be her first day back at The Avalon since Jeremy was arrested.

"Yeah. Surrounded by crazy people who loved Jeremy as their doctor and now have to find a new one because of me. I'm sure that'll go over well. I think your sister Kendall is stopping by today to visit you." Julia turns to me.

I smile and begin to eat breakfast, knowing Julia will have hers at The Avalon. I still need a little help, mainly with grasping things and holding on to them. Julia thinks I had a stroke at some point. I don't know. No one has ever mentioned it to me. I see Dr. Giovanni for a follow-up next week.

Once Julia leaves, it's just me, Jonah, and my dog. Casey and Jonah switch off  between who does the night shift, so she is sleeping now. I like having Jonah during the day. He can understand what I want fairly well. This is why I'm nervous about losing him when he goes on tour with Nate. I really like Casey, but unless we both learn sign language really fast, the communication is going to be an issue.

I also don't know how my sisters will feel about this. The last few times Kendall has come to visit, she's been a bit negative towards this living situation. How quickly she forgets it's Nate paying for EVERYTHING for me. The nurses. The PT. The speech therapy. My insurance through the Marriott sucked. I also opted to get the cheapest insurance option they offered because I've always been super healthy and take care of myself. That one bit me in the ass.

But, the way Kendall has been talking...... It makes me think the girls want me back home. They know I can't live with Mom. That will be too confusing for her. All of this is confusing for her.  Believe me, I'd LOVE to be back in my own house, but I'm not confident I can live alone yet. Hell, I can't even flip a grilled cheese if I wanted to. Not only that, I'd be all alone. Just me and Mags. I've come to enjoy having a houseful. Especially knowing Julia is being taken care of here, and I can see her whenever I damn well please. The minute I move home, I lose her for good. There will be absolutely no reason for her to visit me. Our friendship alone is already strained now that I'm - like this. She'll get tired of me and want to be with Nate more and more. I see it already.

"Your mind is going a mile a minute in there, isn't it, friend?" Jonah pours me a cup of coffee and helps put it in my hand. I nod.

"Let me guess. Something to do with Julia."

I nod. But that was an easy one. It's always about Julia.

"I wish there was a way you could come on tour with us, pal.  I have a feeling once I leave, things with Casey will die down just as much as things with you and Julia. Don't play me for a fool, I know you're still trying to win her over." Jonah  chuckles, making me laugh a little, and we both hear my voice come through.

"Seriously, though." He lowers his voice and helps me  pick up my coffee again for another sip. It being hot, we are cautious, and my hands just don't have the grip they need sometimes. "I don't know if Case is qualified to take care of Julia.  You and I both know Julia is a very complex woman.  I can barely take care of her some days." Jonah takes a bite of his toast while confiding to me.

"I don't know if Casey would be calm enough the way you need to be when Julia has an episode. Hell, It's hard to stay calm and pull her off a damn ledge at the same time. Julia is definitely suicidal.  She may always be. My dad was. He committed suicide when I was seventeen." He continues talking nonchalantly like it's no big deal, but I almost drop my mug. Jonah catches on quickly and places it on the table for me.

"Yeah. I'm able to talk about it now, but it took a long time. I was so mad at my dad or giving up and leaving us like that. I thought he was a coward for taking the easy way out. At the time, I had no idea he had terminal cancer and knew the treatments weren't working. My mom didn't even know this. It wasn't until she found a letter in her dresser from him explaining it all. But even before his cancer, dad struggled with mental health. It's very similar to Julia. I think..if he wasn't struggling, he would have gone through with living life till the very end. Maybe see me graduate college. Maybe get a few more good years of memories with my mom.  I think once he found out about the cancer spreading to his lymph nodes, he  let his depression get the best of him.  He hung himself in our garage. It was awful." Jonah takes a deep breath in.

"Anyways. I drank away my existence for a few years after that.  But now look where I am. I'm sober. I'm in a friggen celebrity's  home  taking care of a multimillion dollar man. I don't know where I was going with this story, but I think I just used you as my personal therapist for a minute." Jonah laughs and ends the conversation there. I seem to be everyone's personal therapist lately. Not that I mind.

*****

*Trisha*

"Shit." I hear Nate say while reading a message on his phone. I just got done getting sick in the bathroom but came prepared. I now pack a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse, so Nate won't know I'm sick and use it against me. Sad it has come down to that, but I need to prove to him I can do this job.

I lied to Nate. I scheduled this meeting to go over the agenda, but that's not why I'm here. No, I need to talk to Nate about shit and the only way I can do that these days is to actually schedule myself in.

I sit down, and Nate shows me his messages from Paul. Shit. The patients at the Avalon turned on her because they liked Jeremy as their doctor. Even Cara! Someone purposely spilled orange juice all down her shirt, and the nurse is making her sit in it through breakfast. What the hell is going on over there?

"Is this seriously happening?! Oh my God! And they made her sit there like that, wet the entire time??"

"Paul said it's mostly Jeremy's patients. They're pissed at Julia now." Nate explains.

"She was fucking RAPED! They should be happy that the bastard isn't still working there! They should be happy it didn't happen to them." I hand Nate his phone back, disgusted with the situation.

"If this keeps happening I'm gonna have to set up a meeting with the director of The Avalon. They won't be happy if that happens. I have no issues going to the public with this behavior and giving them a bad rep if nothing is done about this." He puts his phone down on the table and I nod in agreement.

"So, tell me why you blocked off a full hour to go over the agenda, Trish. It never takes that long."

"I didn't block off a full hour to go over the agenda. I blocked off an hour to talk to you. It seems like the only way I can do that is if I have to schedule myself in, lately."  I close my laptop and watch Nate fold his arms over his chest and lean back in his chair. He's pissed and thinks this is a waste of his time.

"Nate.. we need to talk about shit. I need to know what's gonna happen."

"With what Trisha?" He says coldly.

"Am I going on tour with you?" My voice cracks a little asking this. He knows this means the world to me but lately it feels like I'm more of a burden now than anything. He doesn't care if I go on tour with him. He can find another PA easily. All Nate cares about is that Julia goes on tour with him.

"I don't know, are you? Can you? Can you physically travel like that? Can you keep up with being my main PA while on tour? These are questions you should be asking yourself, not me. You, know, Trish. You have no problems telling me Marriage is not in my "Timeline with my career" Yet a fucking baby is?? What would you like me to do? This is all out of my hands. It's all in YOUR hands, not mine."

My eyes well up with tears but I  hold back. He's being so rude lately. This is NOT ALL my fault here.

"Yeah, thanks for that. I'm all alone in this. Your only worry is finding a new PA to travel with you, isn't it? You have no intentions of having me go on tour with you." I shake my head. "You know what MY worries are, Nate? No... and you know why? Because you NEVER FUCKING ASK!"

I stand up and leave the conference room, slamming the door loudly.  I can't hold it in any longer. I rush to Nate's private studio, sit on the couch and fucking ball my eyes out. He never cared about me, did he? His true colors are really showing and they're fucking ugly colors. Ugly like fucking puke green and brown ugly. I suddenly feel heartbroken like I'm not even his friend anymore.

While thinking this, Nate comes into the room and sits down next to me.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say." He looks over at me.

"You could say you fucking care, Nate. What happened? We used to be so close. The minute I got pregnant you barely say two words to me. You tell me nothing. It's like we're not even friends anymore. The only person you confide in is Julia. It used to be me."

"What would you like me to do??"

"I'd like you to stop treating me like I'm some burden now." I cry. But I lost Nate to his phone once again. Of course it's something related to Julia. Now does he see why I had to fucking schedule myself into his calendar? And it still didn't work. We have gotten nowhere.

"Shit. We need to go." He reads another text from Paul.

"Of course we do." I sigh in defeat. My feelings are thrown aside, and this is how it's gonna be from now on.

******

*James*

I'm sitting on the balcony getting fresh air with Mags by my side when I see Julia walk out here. It's way too early for her to be home from the Avalon. Something happened. I stand up and she throws her arms around me and cries. 

"Things are never gonna get better for me, are they?" She cries and I rub her back, ready to listen. She tells me Everything. EVERYTHING. I'm so surprised the Avalon is tolerating this behavior

"It's like frigging middle school in there. They're really gonna bully me like children because their doctor was arrested? Even Nate's sister?"

I don't even know what to say to this.  Julia sits down and I sit across from her shaking my head from what I heard.

"You know the best part?" She laughs sarcastically. "During my therapy session the doctor asked if maybe I was confused and it wasn't rape. Like trying to make me believe it was some misunderstanding. That it was consensual. See!? This is how people go crazy!"

I'm surprised the doctor is siding with Jeremy on this, trying to make Julia question if she was really raped or not. That's just unbelievable to me.

"And..It was written in my file about double the amount of food I was expected to eat during breakfast- by Jeremy- so I was required to eat double the amount of everyone else again. I got written up for not finishing. Jeremy is still in control, isn't he? Thank God Paul was with me to witness this and get me out of there. They weren't going to let me leave if it weren't for him."

Oh my God! This is really happening? I've never felt so much rage in my life. I can tell Julia notices. I clench my fists in frustration and what she is telling me.

We're interrupted when Nate barges out onto the balcony, fuming.

"Julia, are you OK? Paul told me everything."

"I'm fine. I'm never gonna win, though. Even your sister turned on me." I notice clenched in Nate's right hand is Julia's orange juice soaked T-shirt.

"This," he lifts up the dirty shirt, "is unacceptable!" He throws the shirt on the ground in a fit of rage. "I'm calling the director of The Avalon."

"And say what, exactly? The crazy people acted crazy? C'mon Nate. It's just gonna make everything worse."

Shit Julia is absolutely right. 

Jeremy wins.

*****