"Trisha, what's going on?"

Jonah looks up from his laptop when He sees me.

"Jesus, Jonah. Don't you ever sleep? It's after midnight!"

"I don't require a lot of sleep. Besides, this is the time I can get most of the paperwork and charts into the system."

I quickly realize he can probably tell I've been crying and head straight out to the balcony to hide.

Of course, the damn nurse has to follow me.

"What's going on...."

Jonah sits down on the chair next to me and studies my face.

"I think that car accident fucked with my head or something." I stare out at the city lights while talking.

"The concussion? Are you still having headaches?"

"I am. But no. I mean... mentally. I'm turning fucking Julia or something. I can't get the visions from the wreck out of my head. It's worse at night. Jonah, it's starting to mess with my sleep now." I admit, feeling weak that I can't push through the incident.

Jonah nods and looks at me with empathy.

"It's gonna take some time, Trisha. That accident...that was a big event. It wasn't just a little fender bender. People's lives and health were affected. People you care about. YOUR life and health were affected." He takes my hand to comfort me when I start to get teary eyed.

"So, what do I do about it?"

"Cut yourself some slack. Let yourself heal and process everything. Stop trying to fix everyone around you and focus on yourself, Trisha. I can connect you with a counselor if you'd like, I can reach out to the hospital if you think you may need a prescription for a sleeping pill to help you over the hump for a bit, but most importantly, just give yourself time. Do little things you enjoy, take naps if you need to, clear your schedule if it's too much. You don't need everything to be perfect all the time."

"Sounds like you know what you're talking about...." I sniff and wipe my eyes.

"I do. Believe me... I do." Jonah sighs making me think he's been through some shit in his life that none of us know. Once again, I realize how self-absorbed I've been and know nothing about other people's lives. That's the one thing I can honestly say I'm envious of from Julia. She has so much compassion for other's it's sickening.

"But Trish. First thing in the morning we're going to the hospital and having you get an MRI scan. You shouldn't still be having headaches and that concerns me. Can we do that? First thing in the morning?" Jonah is serious. My headaches are serious. This is no joke.

"Yeah. We can do that."

********
Unfortunately, Paul doesn't get a chance to sleep in today. By 8am we are out the door with Jonah heading to the hospital for an MRI. I'm nervous. Not for the scan but for the results.

Because we didn't have an appointment, we have to go through the emergency department and wait our turn. I start pacing back and forth, driving Paul and Jonah bonkers.

Then I freeze.

The transportation nurse along with two other nurses come out of the elevator wheeling a bed.

"James?" I rush over, making Paul jump up into action and startle Jonah, among others in the ER. "James! What's going on? What happened?!"

One of the nurses gives me a curious look, not recognizing who I am Most know I'm Nate's personal assistant. Thanks to him, I've been in the media spotlight plenty of times. Mostly his doing too, like kissing me in the studio parking lot when he was drunk.

"I was in the accident with him. He's my friend. We were in the same car when... what's going on?" I realize I sound like Julia, talking way to fast and Jonah pats my arm to have me reel it in.

"Jonah. How ya doing?" The transportation nurse recognizes his coworker.

"Hey Mike. What's going on? I'm his private nurse." Jonah looks over James.

"He's not responding to things he was before apparently. Giovanni wants another MRI to make sure he's ok."

My hand bolts up to cover my mouth when I hear this.

"He's not responding?" I choke on my words. I hold his hand and lean down close to his ear.

"James. Nate acts like a baby sometimes." I whisper in his ear and feel my eyes sting when he doesn't squeeze my hand. I kiss the corner of his mouth like Julia does and nothing happens. My eyes widen in shock of what this could mean, and I take a step back to let the nurses bring him in for his MRI.

"Trisha...... Trish......"

"Sit her down and get her a water."

"Hey...Trisha...."

I snap out of it and realize I'm sitting in one of the waiting room chairs holding a water bottle. Paul is sitting on one side of me and Jonah on the other. My whole body is trembling, and my eyes focus on Paul.

"It's ok. You were just a little stunned." Paul tries to sugar coat it for me and rubs my back.

"No. You can't lie to her. You went into shock, Trisha. Like Julia does sometimes. It's completely ok. You've been through a lot..." Jonah has a concerned look on his face though.

"If I fucking turn into Julia push me off a bridge." I mumble.

"There she is. You're back." Jonah smiles and Paul lets out an uncontrolled laugh.

"I get first dibs..." He jokes and I roll my eyes.

Hours go by and I still haven't been called. Jonah has no pull with the radiology department, and I start to become impatient.

"I don't think I can wait much longer, Jonah...." I look around the packed room.

"Yeah, this is getting a bit ridiculous." Right as Jonah says that a nurse calls out and notifies staff of an incoming trauma from a motor vehicle accident.

"Christ. We're never gonna get you in now. Trauma comes before everyone." Jonah states but my focus is more on the words 'motor vehicle accident'. I think he can tell by the way he looks at me and then Paul.

"Let's get her out of here. We'll try again tomorrow morning."

*******

Jonah decides to order my favorite food, Chinese food, and bring it back to Nate's apartment. He also grabs a case of beer seeing as Nate isn't with us. I feel like we are college kids eating shit and drinking beer in our dorm. Jonah doesn't drink but doesn't seem bothered by the beer me and Paul drink.

"Comfort food. That's what this is. We're gonna take today and do absolutely nothing but watch trash tv and feed our faces, ok?" Jonah sets up the food on the coffee table and grabs the remote.

I lift up my beer to the boys. "Cheers." We clink and I give them a little smile. "Thanks, guys. I guess I needed this."

"I think we all did." Jonah replies and Paul takes a swig of his beer.

"I'm just glad I'm not chasing you all around town while you run your errands, Banks." Paul gives me a little wink and a nod before taking another sip.

Who would have thought these two goons would know how to help me get through my shit...

*****

We didn't go back to the hospital to visit yesterday, and first thing this morning headed back to get my MRI. Today wasn't as busy and they were able to get me in within two hours. The MRI itself took 45 minutes.

"Ok, you guys head on up. I'll pick up the food shopping order, ok? Trisha, if you're not comfortable talking about stuff.... your head...the MRI... all of that...you don't have to bring it up, ok?" Jonah is letting me know that he can keep this confidential if I want him to and I appreciate that. I may just do so and wait for the results to come in before anyone makes a big deal over nothing.

Before going up to the suite, I bump into Dr. Patel and talk to him a little about discharging Nate. Fortunately, nothing is keeping Nate admitted now. His blood pressure may always fluctuate and need to be monitored, and it takes a few weeks for the higher dose of the Losartan heart medication to start to work. Dr. Patel has no problems signing the discharge papers and I finally feel a sense of relief. Life can move forward now. NATE can move forward now. This is a good thing.

When me and Paul walk into the suite my smile from accomplishing something good for Nate fades when I see how exhausted everyone in the room looks. Nate is in bed with Julia lying on his chest. He looks overwhelmed and I'm not sure what happened.

"Hey you." I look at Nate with excitement. "You can get discharged today. Doctor Patel already signed the papers. You're a free man, Mr. Hollan."

"Thanks Trish." Nate doesn't sound nearly as excited as I hoped. I plop down in the chair next to James and squeeze his hand before I place it back down and open my laptop. But then I hear Nate whisper to Julia.

"I'm not going anywhere Jules. You know that, right? I'm right here with you."

I frown but we are interrupted when Dr. Prade comes into the room.

I can tell Prade isn't fond of Julia and spends as little time as possible in the room. Casey hands her Julia's chart and she nods.

"Keep her on a low dose of the Ativan for now and do a round of bloodwork to check kidney function..." She says to the nurse. And just like that she's out the door never to be seen again today.

"I'm staying on the Ativan?"

"She's STAYING on the Ativan?" I look up from my laptop and my stomach drops hearing this news. This fucking prolongs her detox now. This halts everything I was working hard towards. Getting Nate back on track.

"I think Dr. Prade wants to keep you on a low dose and then wean you off slowly. It will take longer but maybe it will be a smoother transition. Then once your off and your withdrawal symptoms are at a minimum, you can probably get discharged and go back to the Avalon."

I glance at Paul and then Jonah who both look at me now. They knew how excited I was to tell Nate he was discharged from the hospital. I frown and look back down at my laptop, feeling my eyes begin to sting.

*****