*James*

"You just need to move in with me already." I plead my case again while we lay together in the hotel bed. We decide not to even bother going to my house. Lindsay has the dog, and it's late, so we plan on just sleeping here for the night, but not before I bring up Julia's current living situation again. 

"Do you know how hard it was for me to get tonight to happen? Jonah doesn't think I'm ready to be without a nurse. If it were up to him, I'd be at The Avalon or some other facility. I'm lucky he is even going along with this." Julia reminds me.

I sigh heavily.

"I haven't earned anyone's trust back yet. I've fucked up too many times."

"People make mistakes."

"So was it a mistake when you all threw the brochures for The Avalon at me and wanted to me to check it out with Nate???" 

Shit. 

Julia sits up now and backs away from me. I follow suit and sit up as well.

"Listen, I don't want to fight tonight, babe."

"But how do you think that makes me feel that even YOU think I should be locked up in some nuthouse??" She pulls the sheet up to cover her naked body and crosses her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry. It was all overwhelming. I don't think you should be locked up in some nuthouse, Julia. You know that." I say calmly.

"DO I, though? You were pretty quick to be ok with me taking a ride with Nate to check the place out."

"Because we didn't know what to do, that's all. If I wanted you in a facility I wouldn't have driven away from the hospital that night. C'mon, can we not do this right now?" I nudge my body in to hers a little. "Please? I want to have a good night with you. I don't want to talk about anything negative. I just want things to be like they were before." I sigh. "Can you bring my best friend Julia back? Just for tonight?" 

"I'm sorry."  She lies. I can tell she's not. "We can talk about it another time. Sorry I brought it up."

Now that's the medication working right there. Any other time, this would turn sour real quick. But she lets it go.  Relief washes over me now that she drops the subject.

*****

*Trisha*

"You owe me. Something. I don't know what yet, but you owe me. First, you steal my hot water, and then you make things awkward with the nurse."  Nate jokes and I shoo him away.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good luck trying to explain this scene."

"Wait." He stops before opening the door and turns around to me, looking for guidance. "What do I tell him? Do you even want anyone to know about Dave?"

There's a moment of silence while I think. "It makes me look weak, doesn't it?" I frown.

"Well considering I have no fucking idea what happened yet, no. But you saying that, makes me think you somehow, at some point took Dave back and learned your lesson the hard way?" 

"Can you leave out that part? Listen, I'll tell you everything. Ok? I just need to process it for myself more first."

"I get that. Ok. I'll leave out details." He opens the door and heads out. I'm relieved it's all out in the open now and I'm not hiding anything from Nate. But to have to actually have a discussion about it makes me sick to my stomach.

My eyes are feeling heavy and I'm about to fall asleep when Nate comes back in.

"You didn't tell him my whole life story did you, Hollan?" I ask sleepily.

"I did not." Nate lays on his side of the bed and shuts off the light before pulling me in to lay against him.. 

"Can we talk about everything tomorrow?"  I ask.

"Of course. We'll figure it all out in the morning. You're gonna be ok." Nate whispers.

"I know I will. Thanks for tonight. I know I pulled a Julia on you and shut down a little."

"We all have our 'Julia' moments, Trish. You know I'm always here for you. For anything."  He rests his hand on my cheek. We can't really see each other in the dark but he feels my tears run down my face and on to his hand.

"I'm sorry. This isn't like me. None of this." I whisper and lay my head on his bare chest, feeling him comb his fingers through my hair  over and over again.

"It's ok Trish. You're ok. I'm right here with you."  He says calmly.

"It's just been a really fucking bad day."

*****

*James*

"Hey wake up." I whisper and nudge Julia's shoulder a few times. She rolls over on to her stomach and groans, not wanting to move.

"C'mon sweetie, I want to show you something." I lift her up so she's sitting. "I don't want to miss it. We'll come back for your stuff later."

Julia rubs her eyes in confusion as I put her sweatshirt over her head. She's still half  asleep but we don't have much time.

"What? James. It's not even five in the morning!" She lays back down but I throw a pair of leggings at her and start to get myself dressed. I turn on the light to make her wake up more.

 "James! What's going on?"

"Put your pants on and find your sneakers. Let's go. I'll show you when we get there."

"Where are we going??" She squints at me after she gets dressed.

"You'll see...." I respond but Julia lays back down. I huff and finally pick her up out of bed and carry her to the door, grabbing my keys and wallet on the way out.

"James!" I shriek and start to wake up more.

I carry her bridal style all the way down the four flights of stairs, not letting her go until she's settled in my SUV. I run around and pop the hood to pull out two red comforters that I throw over her lap before we drive off.

It takes about fifteen minutes to get to our destination  and about fifteen minutes for her to wake up fully.

"Where are we?" 

I shut the car off and gaze at Julia.

"Venice Beach" I whisper. I lazily smile at her. "Let's go watch the sun rise over the ocean."

I hop out of the SUV and open her door for her. I then scoop her up into my arms and grab the blankets, kicking the door closed with my foot. Julia throws her arms around my neck and I carry her to the beach. I walk us to the middle and lower her to the sand. She watches me lay out one comforter and sit down.

"Come here." I part my knees for Julia to sit in between them. She tiredly does and I cover us with the second comforter. I lean back on my hands and Julia rests her back on my chest.

I look around and notice a few people scattered here and there on the beach in the dark. The sound of the waves and a few seagulls is all we hear and the smell of the salt water fills the air around us.

"I want to watch the sunrise with you in my arms."  I whisper against her cheek. Julia kisses the corner of my mouth and I sit up a little, wrapping my arms around her under the blanket.

"Over there.." I tick my head over to the side and Julia notices the smallest hint of light over the horizon. We both stare at the light with the few other people scattered on the beach.

"I've never seen a real sunrise before." She admits. I kiss her cheek and hold her tighter. I'm so glad I thought of this. I've been wanting to do this with Julia forever but we could never be alone.

The sky goes from the black of the night to a deep blue and slowly starts to warm up with the rising sun. Julia can't stop staring at the dim light. There are a few clouds that the colors reflect off of which makes the sky even more colorful as purples, reds, gold, orange and pale pink spread across the horizon, lighting up the sky and the ocean at the same time.

Then we see it. The bright rim of the sun slowly begins to rise up in the distance . As the dim orange makes it's way up, it turns to a bright yellow once clouds give way, making all the colors that fill the sky more vibrant. This brilliant shade of oranges blends the sky and the waves of the ocean together. It's breathtaking. Calm and peaceful but at the same time overwhelming.

The perfect yellow circle drifts up into place and the entire sky is lit up with every shade of blue you can fathom. Hues of all the colors light up ocean and quickly erase the darkness of the night sky.

"Wow." Julia breathes out, unable to look away from the bright yellow circle as it rises up into place.

"I know, right??" I rest my chin on her shoulder so our cheeks are touching.  I feel  tears streaming down her  face. "Babe, are you crying?"

 "I guess I am. It's just... so pretty."

"Aren't you glad I woke you up now. It was worth it, right??" I kiss her cheek and stroke her arms.

"It was so worth it. Thanks for doing this, James." She turns around to make eye contact and holds my face with both hands, kisses me, then wraps her arms around me for a hug. I want to bottle this moment up and never forget this feeling  I'm feeling right now. I love her so much.

After our beach sunrise we stop back at the hotel so Julia can pick up her bags she packed and then head to my house. I unlock the door and let her go in first. I walk behind her, laughing at her when she closes her eyes and smiles like she does when she feels the sun on her face.

"You're weird." I joke and drop her bags down next to the stairs.

"Your house feels like the sun. That's all." She wraps her arms around me and I pull her body against mine, swaying us like always. I like that. My house feels like the sun to her. That's comforting and I want her to wake up here every morning and feel like this.

 "We can do whatever you want, sweetie. We can make breakfast, or go back to bed, or have breakfast IN bed, or...." I back away a little and look down at her. "You know... I could take you right here and now in the living room." I smirk and notice her eyes have traveled to fixate on my lips. I peck her lips once, then again, and again.

"We could take advantage of this time we have alone before I send you back to prison."  I tease.

"Take me up to your room, Mr. Gallo."

*****

*Trisha

"Is there a reason you're staring at me, Playboy?" I wake up and notice Nate's eyes on me, off in his own little world.

 "Sorry. Zoned out for a sec."

"I'll say." I flip from my stomach to my back and stretch before scooting closer to Nate's side of the bed.

"So do you have a plan for today?" He rolls on to his side to face me while we talk and I do the same.

"I have to look it all up first. I'm not sure if I go to the police station or the courthouse for it. I know I have to file a complaint and on the same day go to a hearing to explain why I want one."

"Take Paul with you, ok?" Nate pauses. "Wanna talk about what happened?"

There's this painful moment of silence while I contemplate on whether to keep it simple or give Nate the details.

"Only tell me what you want to, Trisha. I just want to make sure you're ok. And safe."

I huff. "Safe." I laugh a little. "I thought I was. I mean, c'mon, how many times have I seen your sorry ass drunk. Not once did you ever make me feel unsafe. But Dave? I don't know. Something in his eyes scares the fuck out of me, Nate."

"So, you've seen him recently? How? I thought he lived in Seattle now?"  Nate sits up and pats the space next to him. I move over an pull his arm over my shoulder to settle in more.

"I'm an idiot, Nate." I stare ahead while I talk. "He's back here working on a six month project for his job. Engineering or whatever the hell he does. He called me and wanted to catch up over coffee. I'm a fucking idiot. I don't know why I thought he could change. I said sure. This was a few weeks ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nate furrows his brows at me.

"For starters, you were in fucking detox and already on edge. I know how you feel about Dave. And it was just coffee. We talked about stupid shit. It was actually really nice. HE was really nice. I should have known. He's always nice when he's sober."

I stall for a minute and Nate can tell this is hard.

"I'm so embarrassed to even admit this. After a few little dates, we went back to my place one night." I close my eyes and shake my head. I've made so many damn mistakes these last few weeks. "Anyways. He was fine that night. But then things got busier with you with your recovery and Richard on our backs to get the ball rolling on shit again, so I wasn't giving Dave all the attention he wanted. I just got busy, that's all."  My voice cracks as my nerves get the best of me.  That NEVER happens.

"He showed up at my place one night... now that he knows where I live.. completely wasted. You know how he gets when he's drunk."

"And I know how you get when other people get drunk. Let me guess. You felt the need to take care of him." Nate looks at me sympathetically. 

"I had him come in." I sigh. Letting Nate know he was right. "I made him coffee to help sober him up. The jackass drove to my place drunk. He didn't want to sober up. He didn't come over for my help." I suddenly start crying. Nate strokes my arm with the hand that's flung over my shoulder, and his free hand grips my other hand, giving it a little squeeze, letting me know he's right here with me while I remember shit.

"God, it was awful."

"Trish. Did he physically hurt you?" He tenses up. Did he physically hurt me. I don't even know how to answer the fucking question. The situation wasn't black and white. It was grey. It was so fucking grey.

"I mean. I don't know..." I shrug and wipe my eyes.

"What do you mean you don't know? Either he did, or he didn't." 

"He..." I pause again. "God. Nate. I don't know. He manipulated me is what he fucking did. Saying he wanted to change, went as far as crying. It broke my heart. I mean, it's DAVE. You know?? I fell for him. But Christ. Once he got the green light...it was awful. Halfway through he was no longer crying. It was all some fucking act to get in my pants. He was.... I don't know, Nate." I start fucking crying again. I'm such a mess over this! 

 "This is fucking hard for me, ok?" I stall again and Nate doesn't push it. I shake my head and take a deep breath.

"He was getting too rough. Like... bad, Nate. It wasn't rape or anything like that...we were already in the middle of it. But it was like he was getting back at me for everything that went down from our past. I even TOLD him he was getting too rough. He didn't care, and he didn't stop. I swear the fucker pulled out a chunk of my hair that night. It was awful. That's the only word I can come up with."

I cover my face in embarrassment.

"And after... I started crying." I pause yet again and cover my face. It was such a degrading moment and having this memory now is gonna fuck with my head for a long time. But Nate needs to know why I'm so distraught. 

Maybe if I just say it really fast.

 "He told me to knock it off. He said I was being a baby about it. He said I enjoyed it. He called me his little whore and left." I rush the words out, unsure if I'd be able to say the last part.  Now I'm balling. Nate's eyes go wide from that last sentence alone.

"What?! What the fuck!? Trisha, why didn't you tell me this when it happened??" Nate is furious.

"Because it's embarrassing!! I'm humiliated, ok? I was stupid to think he could change or that I could help him. Once he earned my trust, he used me, then practically laughed in my face after." I sniff.

"Anyways... I'm the idiot and I won't fall for it again, but he knows where I live now. I've seen him drive by multiple times. I don't know what's up. Or if he's plotting something or just trying to antagonize me. He's called me a couple of times, but I haven't answered. It's weird. I mean, he was REALLY drunk that night. I don't even know if he REMEMBERS what he did! And if he doesn't remember and I've been ignoring him, then he thinks I'm the one at fault here. God, I just want him gone."

"Jesus Christ. So what happened last night?"

"Well, once I saw him drive by a few times after I wouldn't answer his calls, I hired Paul. Just while I was running errands and shit. Once I'm in my apartment, I'm safe. So last night I told Paul I was in for the night, so he came back here. I don't know. Maybe I'm going crazy but ten minutes after Paul left, Dave pulled up and knocked on the door. Like he was fucking watching me or something! I thought it was my door dash order for dinner. He was drunk again and asking me why I was ignoring him and all this shit...like he didn't know what he did or how he called me a whore after. That's when I ended up grabbing my keys and coming here. I called you en route." I end the series of events with that, and Nate sits here stunned and speechless.

"I don't know if any of this even QUALIFIES for a restraining order. I'm gonna find out today, though." I add.

"Trisha, if it falls through, I'm keeping Paul around you for a long time. I don't trust Dave. He's changed since he started drinking. This shit's fucked up." He pinches the tension in between his eyes.

"Yes. Keeping Paul around will help, but I don't want you to worry about it. That's why I didn't want to tell you this stuff. You have enough on your plate. I can handle this, ok? You know I can." I wrap my  arms around him and rest my head over his shoulder to hug him. He throws his arms around me as well, and rubs my  back until I can calm down. 

"I know you can handle it. But when it comes to Dave...Trish...your judgement becomes cloudy."

"It won't anymore. I promise."

*****