*Trisha*

Julia is in the middle of one of her weird nightmare things and waking up the whole damn room.

"Put my railing down and help me. For God's sake's Jonah, put my rail down! Look at her!!"  Nate yells. "Help me on to her bed or push mine against hers. Do something!"

"Nate, you know I don't agree with you going near Julia until she is awake from the nightmare."

"Jonah, I swear to God if you don't help me you can walk out that fucking door.." 

I roll over to my side to face away from the chaos of Julia.

Jonah takes a breath and then looks over to Paul.

"Fine. Help me move his bed over so it's against hers, but Nate, you get injured that's not on me." I hear the guys moving the beds together and Nate's painful grunting as he tries to slide over next to Julia. He'll do anything for that woman, even with broken ribs.

"Jules.. .You're ok love. I'm right here with you. I've got ya. You're ok. It's just a dream, doll. Time to wake up."

Her cries are so shallow and sad. She's thinking about James. We're ALL thinking about James.

"He's gonna be ok. He's gonna pull through and be just fine. Ok? C'mon Jules... wake up. She's not waking up." Nate sounds concerned now. She's stressing him out. I roll myself back over a little to see him and make sure he's ok.

"It's probably all the Ativan and pain meds." Jonah responds."She probably can't wake herself up the way you want her to."

"Well, she can't stay in this dream! Get a fucking doctor!!" Nate snaps. Paul is the one to open the door and leave to find someone to help.

"Nate. You need to calm down. I'm serious. That temper of yours isn't going to help her. It's certainly not gonna calm her. And it's not gonna save him. Reel it in." Jonah is fed up with Nate's outbursts and everyone is getting tired. This is why we don't share hospital rooms. Everyone is already on edge while trying to recover. Sharing a room isn't the smartest decision.

"You don't think I know that?! I SAW him. Jonah, I made the nurse take me down to see him. Nothing's gonna save him. Don't you get it?! We can't fucking save him! All I can see whenever I close my eyes is James in the state he is in now and it fucking breaks me, ok? It's bad. It's so fucking bad!"

I see Nate crying and have to turn back around to hide my own tears. I can't stand to see him this way. He's giving up on the idea that James could survive his injuries. I suddenly feel nauseated thinking about it. 

"Ok... hey. Ok." Jonah says in a softer tone. "I get it, man." 

I begin to weep in my pillow. This is all too much. And then to have Julia going through her weird shit on top of it all...it's a lot.

Two doctors and a nurse come in and try to help take care of Julia. I keep my back towards them so they don't see me emotional. My head is pounding and I feel sick to my stomach. I try to block out everyone in the room and close my eyes. But falling asleep is impossible with all this commotion.

Everyone keeps talking and I start to get irritated.

"It this gonna happen every night? If so, I change my mind and want my own room."

I grumble like a grumpy old lady as the two doctors butt heads on Julia's treatment and the use of Ativan. To the point one doctor asks the other one to talk in the hall.

"Someone's getting in trouble." The young nurse assigned to our room says under her breath.

"Dr Prade. I've worked under her before. She can be tough. Especially when you question her like that. But I have to agree with Doctor Donovan. I wish they went another route. Everyone in this room has watched Julia detox from the Ativan. Everyone in this room experienced her withdrawals." Jonah responds. Aint that the truth. We all had to deal with Julia's shit. Including the guest Bathroom.

"Not everyone. James isn't here with us." Julia responds.

The room becomes somber.

They  start back up talking and I close my eyes and attempt to fall asleep. I feel like I do fall asleep but not for long before the pain in my head takes over. So bad I feel sick to my stomach. Oh no. 

I sit up and throw up all over myself. 

I begin to cry as I throw up and Paul is the one to jump up and help me. I feel half out of it. Still tired and not fully awake, but awake enough to realize I'm vomiting all over myself, too weak to care.

"Go ahead. I've got this."  The nurse Casey grabs a throw up bucket and paper towels and holds the bucket for me.

"Is she ok??" Nate asks, watching Paul hold my hair back.

"Yeah, she's got a good concussion. Vomiting is a symptom."

Two more nurses and a custodian all come in to the Presidential suite to help. They give me Zofran and Paul helps me out of the bed. He holds me up and lets me lean on him for stability while the nurses take off my dirty garments.  I don't even care who sees me. I need to get out of this gown. Both Nate and Paul turn away  as the nurses change me. 

"Here. Sit her down in the chair and make sure she doesn't fall over while we change her bedding. She may be dizzy."

Paul does as told and gently sits me down on the oversized cushioned chair. He then ties the top back of my hospital gown so it doesn't fall off.  I tiredly drop my head to his lap and feel him comb his hands through my hair.

"Thanks Paulie." I mumble as I start to fall asleep on him.

*****

*James*

I lose focus of my baby playing in the sand and things go back to black. I can feel someone holding my hand and ...wetness. Tears.

"James." 

Julia.... 

Julia, I'm here... I'm still here.

 "James, I know you can hear me."

I can. I can hear you, babe. I can hear you!

"Please...you gotta hang on for me. Please, James. I can't lose you!" Julia is crying in my hand. "I can't save you. You have to wake up for yourself. I can't do this life without you."

"You're my best friend. Don't leave me. Please, please, please don't go."  I feel her crying and kissing my hand. She's so sad. I'm trying, baby. 

I feel her kiss my cheek.

"Don't leave me. Please please please don't leave me. I love you. I love you so much." 

"Shit. Julia. Jesus Julia, hold on. You're gonna hurt yourself more!"

I can't pinpoint the voice but whoever it is, is trying to protect her.

"Wait! No! I'm not done!" Julia grabs hold of my hand again. "Please. I need to stay. Just a little while longer. Jonah- please!"

She's so fucking sad it breaks me. I want to hold her and kiss her and never let go. I don't care about the pain I'm in or all the noises around me. I want to stay right here. I don't want to go back.  I'm not done. Julia, I'm not done.

"Julia, you are getting too worked up."

"No. I'm not. Really. Just a little while longer." My hand is being held up to her cheek. Her tears are coming down faster.

"Fine. A LITTLE while longer. But you try to get out of your wheelchair to get closer to him again, we're leaving." 

"Remember the first time we bumped into each other outside of the hotel? I was thinking of this earlier. We both went for a run at Griffith Park. It was the first time I ever ventured out on my own here in L.A. You knew I wasn't doing well in the hotel and brought me up breakfast after your shift." 

I remember. How could I forget?!

"Did you mention that particular park because you knew you'd be there? Were you hoping I'd show up at the same time? You were, weren't you? I knew it, you little stinker! I bet you were hoping I'd see your cute little Maggie and fall in love with you both. You know I'm right on the money, aren't I?"

Ah, she caught on. I feel her smile and laugh against my hand. All I want to do is see that smile right now.

"Well, guess what. Your evil little plan worked. I did fall in love with you both. I fell in love with you, James, and I've never fallen out of it. Whenever I spiral out of control, I think of that specific day at Griffith Park, and we all KNOW I spiral out of control often."

"I know you can hear me in there, James. So I'm gonna keep talking. Whether you like it or not. You're stuck with me until Jonah wheels me away."

Please. Keep talking.

"If I could find a way to crawl right up on this bed to lay with you, I would. But I have this stupid cast from a broken leg, and Jonah already threatened to take me away when I tried holding myself up to kiss your cheek. So your hand is all I get."

She broke her leg? In the accident. She broke her leg. I stay in the black and listen to Julia's voice. She talks about some of our best memories. She talks for so long she starts to lose her voice.  

I no longer hear her voice but I know she's still with me. She still has my hand. She fell asleep.

I need to wake up and be with her, but I can't find my way. 

*****

*Trisha*

Figures. I wake up to Nate doing the one thing he shouldn't be doing. Watching the news.  I sit up and watch the reporters pick apart everything that happed yesterday afternoon. With the photos of Nate and Julia walking into the restaurant the night before, with him holding her hand, and another capturing him kissing her, the word is out. Nate and Julia are a couple and the whole world knows now.

"Wow. So the cat's outta the bag." I say while watching the news coverage.

"Cat's outta the bag."

I look over at Nate but notice Julia hasn't come back from visiting James yet. It's been hours.

"She's STILL down there??" I yawn and feel  a shooting pain go right through my head from my concussion along with the wound on my forehead.

"Yeah, that nurse Casey went down to see what the hold up is."

I need to bring up what is on my mind. Nate needs to be prepared for the reality if things don't work out. How will Julia react? If she's anything like Cara, she'll go crazy. Like. REAL crazy though. Not just 'Hi I'm Julia and have fucked up baggage crazy.' Real crazy like...locked up crazy.

"Nate."

Nate studies my face for a moment. He knows what I'm about to talk about.

"Nate, if he..."

"Don't say it, Trish." He shakes his head and his eyes water. Too soon. He can't handle it yet. His heart can't handle it. I stop right there and say nothing more on the topic. I look back at the news and laugh. There's the reporter showing footage of the police taking out shopping bags from the trunk.

"Well..... now THAT'S gonna raise some eyebrows."

 "You've got to be kidding me." Nate throws his head back and chuckles. 

The reporter shows what DID survive the crash. Most of the things in the trunk. That includes four big Victoria's Secret bags. Thank GOD they didn't show the stuff IN the bags. I can only imagine what they bought. If I know Nate, and I KNOW Nate, he probably bought her a bunch of sexy garter belts and thigh highs and shit. Typical male.

"So, there you have it. Live from outside Studio 23B. After a day of splurging at the well known lingerie shop, the two are definitely a couple. Everyone here at the studio is sending them both well wishes for a speedy recovery, back to you Collin."

"Hey. I wanted to go shopping."  Nate shrugs his shoulders and I throw a pillow at his red face. Then I realize I need that pillow.

"Actually, wait. I need that back." 

"Nope. All mine now." He teases but gives it back. That was the only moment things felt normal, and he was smiling. Right after, his mind went back to being consumed with James and Julia. I could tell by his eyes. He lays back down and mutes the rest of the news.

*****

*James*

"Julia. Miss Moretti... we need to get you back upstairs and hooked up to your monitors."

I'm ripped from the beach and back into the black. I hear all the noises of machines again and see nothing.

"No. Can I stay. I need to stay."

Julia. She's still with me. She's still holding my hand.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. You can't"

Whoever is talking to Julia sounds nice but Julia must not be having it. I can feel her squeezing my hand more. I can feel her tears on the back of my hand. No, babe. Don't fight them.

"Jonah..." 

"Shit. What time is it?"

Jonah. Thaaaattt was  who was talking before when I couldn't figure it out. It was Jonah.

"After five in the morning. You guys have been down here for hours. She needs to go back up but won't let go of his hand."

Shit. Julia has been with me for hours. 

"Jonah. Let me stay. I can recover right here. Look. I'm fine. I need to stay here." Julia cries and holds my hand tight like someone is trying to pull her away. You can let go, sweetie. It's ok. 

"I'm sorry. You do have to get back upstairs." I hear Jonah's voice again. 

"NO! Jonah, you don't understand. I need to stay with him. I'm staying here. I'm staying right here. I'm not leaving you, ok? I'm right here. I'm not leaving you, James."

More tears against my hand.  Stop fighting them Julia. It's ok. 

"Julia... stop. Let go of his hand."

"No."

"If I let go, he might die. No. I need to keep talking to him. Jonah stop!"

No. Babe, you're making things worse. I'm trying to find my way back to you!  Don't fight with them.

 I can feel my hand being pulled and pushed and squeeze. Julia's spiraling out of control. She can't help it and I can't help her. I feel my own tears down my cheek. 

I'm still  here Julia. It's ok.

"Jesus Christ, Julia. Let go of his hand!" The struggle continues. It continues until she's screaming and fighting. It's chaotic now. More voices. She's clinging to my arm. She sounds so sad. I need to open my eyes. What's going on? 

"No!" She loosens her grip. "Please Jo-" It's all I hear from her.

Aww, sweetie. It's ok. I'm trying...

"Take her upstairs."

*****

*Trisha*

Both me and Nate sit up more when we see the condition of Julia. Casey wheels the unconscious woman in. They had to give her something to calm her down, didn't they? Poor Jonah comes in right behind them and looks like shit. If this was one of her crazy episodes, it was a bad one.

"We had to sedate her." Casey says while Jonah wipes his swollen eyes. Whatever happened down there got Jonah to the point tears were shed.

"Why? What happened??" I ask first, saving Nate from having to talk. He looks too distraught, like on the verge of tears as it is. This is all too much for his heart.

"She wouldn't let go of him. She stayed there for three hours and not once did she let go of his hand. It was heart wrenching to see." Jonah says. "She completely flipped out when it was time to go. I couldn't pry her hand off his. She's strong when she wants to be."

Like Cara. JUST like Cara. 

"She can't help it. You know that." Nate defends Julia and Jonah nods.

"I know, Nate. That's why we just sedated her, instead. It's not fair to the nurses....and it's not fair to Julia. She can't control it and she is so overwhelmed right now. Her Bipolar isn't going to help matters." He says while laying back in the recliner. He's exhausted but the minute Nate's heart monitor goes off  he bolts back up. 

"Jonah. I've got it. You're not on call, remember? Sleep." Casey pats his shoulder and he lays back down. The nurse silences Nate's monitor and then gets Julia into the bed like she weighs 2 pounds total. Casey hooks her IV's back up and I watch Nate comb Julia's hair away from her face, and kiss her cheek. This woman is everything to him. Just like he's everything to me.

"You're something." I roll my eyes sarcastically but the reality is, it's sweet. He's caring for her even when she is unconscious. I bet that's what Julia was doing to James even though he's in a coma. I suddenly get choked up at the thought. 

"What the hell is gonna happen if he doesn't make it. She's, shit, she won't survive that."  Nate brings up the conversation I tried to mention earlier. But now... now it's me who can barely hold in my emotions. The nurse Casey answers instead.

"She will survive. She won't ever been the same. But she will survive. Probably end up in the Avalon full time though. You need to prepare for that worst case scenario." Casey says while jotting down Julia's vitals.

"You don't know Julia. The Avalon wouldn't be the worst case scenario. She WILL kill herself." Nate says boldly.

 He's right. If James dies. Julia dies. Maybe not physically. Not at first. But eventually. I don't know if this nurse is aware of her past suicide attempt or half the shit she has been through but the look on Nurse Casey right now says she had no idea .

Nate continues to stroke Julia's hair and I turn around in my bed and begin to silently cry.