*Trisha*

"Ok, Ok. You run faster than me. You win, Trisha the Assistant." James is out of breath after a half hour run with me through the park this morning. He leans over and puts his hands on his knees sucking in air while I still bounce in jogging mode.

"You really giving up on me, James The Receptionist??" I laugh and stop bouncing. James sarcastically drops to the grass and lays flat like he's ready to make a snow angel.

"I give up."

I lay down next to him in the same manner and laugh more. "I can't believe I beat you! I'm faster than you are!"

This is making my day already.

"No, you just have those damn long legs." James teases, and I cross my legs while laying down. He folds his arms and puts them behind his head, and I turn to lay on my side, resting my head in my hand.

"Breakfast? On Nate Hollan." I tease, but today I will swipe my own card. I'm still pissed at him. I don't need his money.

"Nate Hollan." James huffs.

"What about the fucker?" I study his face trying to read him, besides the fact that he is unfazed by my trucker mouth. It looks like James wants to say something, but he refrains, and I leave well enough alone.

"Nothing. C'mon. I'm starving." He jumps up and pulls me up with him. We walk down to the center and grab smoothies together, and I buy James a bagel as well because I know a smoothie isn't gonna be enough for him. We continue to walk outside and sip our smoothies, and he saves the bagel for later. Something about that I find funny. But also...not funny. Like, money is tight for him, and he is saving that bagel to supplement an entire meal later on. I hope that's not the case and I'm just reading into things.

"I'm surprised you have the morning off..." He says while we leisurely walk.

"I don't have it off but I'm mad at my boss so I'm not doing his personal shit today." I probably shouldn't have said that, but it's James. He doesn't care about Nate. He barely knows the guy.

"Oh? Isn't his personal shit kinda your job Miss Banks?" James raises an eyebrow at me.

"Not today!" I joke. "Well. probably today..but I at least took the morning off. I have a meeting in an hour but it's just a virtual call, so I don't have to rush home to get dressed up. What about you? What's on your agenda for the day?"

"I have a grief therapy session in a little while." He says casually but sees me looking at him. "I know. It's been a while since Carter died, but I made friends and it became my routine after so long. Plus, maybe I can help someone else who may be going through something similar. You never know."

I nod and he takes another sip of his smoothie. "You're a good man, James."

"I try."

*****

*James*

After Julia giving me a hard time coming to therapy, I finally win the battle, and we pull up to the church.

"We're early. We can wait in the car few minutes until people start showing up." I say as I put the SUV in park. I can tell Julia is very nervous about this.

"Hey. It's gonna be fine. You'll see. It's really no big deal."

"I don't like new things. It gives me anxiety." She replies.

"I'm gonna be sitting right next to you. And that's bullshit, by the way. You wouldn't have flown across the country if you didn't like changes."

"I didn't choose this." She blurts and I sit up a little straighter. She has gotten my attention.

"What are you talking about?"

"Remember? I thought I told you this at the park. My friend entered me in the contest. She filled out my bio and submitted it. She didn't tell me until after she got the phone call that I was picked."

"Right. Why would she do that, again?"

"It was just supposed to be a joke or something. She really didn't think I'd get picked, but when I did...everything just happened so fast. She said it would be good for me to get away and shit."

"So... you're saying you didn't choose to sign up for this?"

"I know. It sounds dumb." She looks out the window. So many thoughts are running through my mind right now hearing about her friend signing Julia up for this whole experience.

"Do you want to be here?"

"Of course. I don't want to go home." The words come out but with absolutely no fucking emotion to them.

"That didn't sound very convincing, babe." I look away. "Sounds to me like you don't care where you go, so long as it's not back home."

"Not true. If I didn't get on that plane, I'd never have met you."

"Or Nate Hollan." I say sharply looking away again.

"True. But I wouldn't have met my best friend." Julia playfully scruffs up my hair. "I mean it, James."

"Yeah, Yeah." I smirk. We both notice people starting to enter the small church. "Time to go."

I get out and open the door for her.

"Cmon, you got this." I take Julia's hand and feel it shaking in mine. Even after she is out of the car, I continue to hold it the whole way there.

"I don't know why I'm making a big deal out of this. I can't help it."

"I know you can't. It's ok. Let's go in."

We go in and I say hi to everyone in passing. These are the people I see almost once a week for over ten years. They know me. They've seen me cry. They know my story. I never let go of Julia's hand as we sit down. Everyone starts finding their seats and getting ready for the session. Julia is extremely nervous, I can tell.

"You need to breathe Julia. I can tell you're holding in your breath." I whisper.

"Welcome everyone. Let's begin. It looks like we have a few new faces so why we don't go around and introduce ourselves. I encourage you all to also share who it was you have lost and how long it's been."

Whoops.

Julia tenses up and look at me, ready to really bolt out of the room.

"Sorry, I forgot we do this sometimes when new people show up." I whisper.

"Bullshit." Julia responds harshly.

"Don't worry. I gotcha. ok?"

"Hey guys, I think most of you know me by now. I'm James and my son, Carter passed away from a brain tumor when he was two and a half. It's been a little over nine years now." Everyone nods and looks at me. I look around the room and feel him squeeze my hand.

"And this is my friend, Julia. This is her first time doing anything like this." I say for her. "She lost her seventeen-year-old son, Danny, in a car accident."

"And both my parents." She adds.

*****

*Trisha*

I give in and decide to have dinner at Nate's so we can go over shit. Because of the photo of him kissing me while drunk in the parking lot of the studio still being talked about, even though it's been a few weeks, we decide to order in. Chinese. Nate knows it's my favorite and is trying to kiss ass.

"Alright. Let's get to it." I say, as we casually eat on the sectional, with all the food displayed on the coffee table.

"We really need those lessons, Trish."

"I can't be babysitting you guys. Your schedule keeps me too busy for that shit. I really think you should stay apart for a while and give each other space."

"You know I make the final call, right? Your opinion matters, but you don't get the final say." Nate says bluntly.

"And YOU fucking know this isn't all about NATE HOLLAN. Right??" I retort. "I know I work for you, but I'm also your friend. Maybe the only one of your friends with a good head on their shoulders. I'm telling you know this isn't going to end well."

"She's shit at the guitar. It's not going to end well either way."

"And who's fault is that? They're gonna put the blame on you as her coach. Not her as a student. You know this."

"What the FUCK do you want me to do?! Trisha, please... enlighten me for Chris sakes." Nate bolts up and starts pacing the room.

"Don't you lose your cool with ME, pal. I'll punch you in the throat, so you won't be able to sing for months." I furrow my brows at him.

"If I don't sing you don't get paid."

"Nate Hollan. You think I've spent all the paychecks you've signed over the years, jackass? The first thing I did was set money aside to cover me for life... for the day you slip up and ruin your career." I stand up and get in his path.

"Don't make this be the day you slip up and ruin your career. I'm trying to help you."

"Without those lessons, we are guaranteed to fail. At least give us a fighting chance to turn shit around."

"Nate, I saw the way you kissed her. I don't know how I was so damn blind all this time, but I saw the way you kissed her." I don't want to do this with him.

"Whatever you're trying to say, just say it."

"You love her." I sigh. Nate stops in his tracks and keeps his back facing me. I know right away from this alone. My heart drops knowing this.

"Christ, Nate." I shake my head.

"We really need those practices."

"And you really think you can pull this off?"

"I do."

*****

*James*

We're the first to leave when Donna, the grief therapist, dismisses the meeting. Julia doesn't linger for a second letting me trail behind as she rushes out. I catch up to her and hold her hand again.

"I'm proud of you." We sit on the curb together. "I mean it. I know how hard that was for you. Things will get better. The hardest part is that first day and look...it's done."

Julia rests her head on my shoulder. "How does this make you feel better? I feel worse after hearing everyone else's stories."

"It gets easier. I notice you don't talk about Danny much. I know you didn't get to meet your mom, but I didn't know you lost your dad too. Do you always keep everything bottled up inside like this?"

"What was your dad like?" She switches the topic and looks away.

"Are we playing the question game? If so, you never answered mine. You always cheat." I nudge her getting a smile out of her.

"Don't you know me at all? I cheat... apparently at everything." She says and I know what she is talking about.

"You didn't cheat. I told ya- What you two have going on... it's not real."

"I never was much of a talker; I could never just TALK to Luke without him trying to fix me. It was just easier not to say how I was feeling at all."

"That sounds like a healthy relationship..." I respond sarcastically.

"It was all I've ever known. Until now."

"Is that how it was with your dad, too?"

"Ahem....... who's cheating now??"She looks over at me and I can feel her staring at me, but I keep my eyes straight ahead, getting lost in my thoughts.

"James."

"Julia." I sigh.

"You don't have to answer my question. You know that, right?"

"He's an awful human being." I mumble, not wanting to do this. Julia takes my hand this time to comfort me.

"He deserves to rot in hell, yet he still walks around like he owns us all." I continue, talking to the nothing I focus on straight ahead. "You know he once burned me with his cigarette because I had the stomach bug?" I swallow hard. "I was seven. The bug was going through the whole school. I fucking threw up during recess and the nurse called my dad. He was pissed. He never picked me up early. I sat in the office with a bucket the rest of the day and then had to walk home after school. Jennie had to practically carry me the rest of the way home." God, I hate talking about this.

"Right there." I point to the scar on my wrist. One of MANY scars my asshole father gave me instead of hugs.

"I became his human ashtray all because I missed the toilet when I threw up. Katie tried to clean it up before he noticed, but we were little. We didn't know how to, and mom was working two jobs and never home." I drop my eyes. "That was one of the 'better days. Anyways..."

"I'm so sorry." Julia whispers close to my ear and hugs me. "No one deserves to live like that."

I feel my eyes water but there's no way I'm gonna let one tear fall over my father. Not one fucking tear. He's not worth it.

"I need to go change before work. Do you mind if we stop by my house first? Or I can drop you off and then go home and go back to the hotel."

"Stop, that's silly. I don't mind at all. I have no other plans tonight. Aside from 'unfriending' you later. A deal's a deal, Gallo. I held up my end...."

"Mmhmmm." I look down at her perfect lips and kiss her.

*****

"This is where you live?" Julia hops out of the Range Rover the second I turn the engine off.

"This is where I live. Well... me and Maggie when I have her."

"Is she here now??"

"No, It's Lindsay's turn."

She follows me up to the front porch.

"This is the cutest house I've ever seen!" She says before seeing the interior.

"Cute as in small." I correct her.

"No. Cute as in absolutely perfect."

"Cmon in. I'll show you around." I unlock the door and watch Julia look around my house, letting her in to my world.

"This is home." I kick off my sneakers and Julia does the same. She follows me to the kitchen, taking it all in. I think she likes my house. It's not much. But it's home and I love it. It's mine.

"Wanna drink?" I open the fridge and feel a little embarrassed with how bare it is.

"Water is fine, thanks."

Thank God I have bottled water. I hand her one and take one for myself

"I wanna see your bedroom." She boldly announces.

"I'm sure you do, Miss Moretti." I raise an eyebrow and smirk.

"Hey, you've seen mine. You've seen my whole house."

"You live in a damn hotel room." I kiss the top of her head and take her hand. "Fine... but don't expect it to be clean..."

We run up the creaky stairs into my private world now. My bedroom.

"I love this. I love everything about your house. How long have you lived here?"

"I bought it when I turned 19." I watch her sit on my bed and look around.

"19?!? How??"

"Lots of hard work and help from my mom and sisters. We had to get out of that house." I sigh, needing to change the subject.

I walk over and stands in front of Julia, parting her knees with my own legs so I can stand in between. I bend down and rest my hands on the mattress, caging her in. "You look really good in my bed." I groan.

"Do I..." She leans back on my bed. She looks so hot, and I can't believe she is in my house, never mind on my bed.

"Mmmhmm." I grab the back of her head and kiss her hard.

"Are we no longer in 'Friend Mode'?" She breathes out while I kiss down her neck. She lays down completely and watches me slowly unbutton her jeans and pull them off her body.

"Correct." I kneel down on the side of the bed, pull her hips so she's at the very edge of the mattress, and take off her underwear.

"We're in 'Fuck Mode' now." I reply seductively before lowering my head and going to work on her.

*****

*Trisha*

"What happens now?" Julia fidgets with her hands and doesn't make eye contact with Nate. We sit at the small rectangular table opposite each other. Nate sits next to me. I told Julia to come to the studio this morning to talk about what we do next. It's been a few days. She knows the Gala is off. At least for Julia. Nate has to go. But with the flow of booze and drugs at these high-end events, it's too easy for one of them to slip up if they're together. Nate agrees now but is still pushing to keep the lessons going because Julia sucks at the guitar.

"You guys just need to focus. Seriously. We can book more lessons if you are actually going to PRACTICE." I look at Nate and then back at Julia. "Right now, no one knows but me."

Me and Nate already talked about this previously, so Nate is barely paying attention to a word I'm saying. He seems preoccupied but I can't pinpoint on what is going on in his head.

"So, you're not gonna tell the producer? No one knows?" Julia looks at me nervously.

"I wouldn't do that to Nate." I nod at Nate. "But I'm about as shit at lying as you are at guitar. I need you guys to pull it together and make this work. I don't want to get dragged into this mess."

"It's already over." Nate stated coldly. "She made her choice."

"I didn't make ANY choice." Julia retorts.

"That's not what my bodyguard says." Nate glares at Julia now.

"We're not together, remember Nate?"

What the hell is happening??

"Clearly. So, you can go fuck James in the lobby as many times as you want."

James. James The Receptionist James????

"Nate!" My eyes widen at Nate's harshness. This isn't like him. Something happened between the two of them and it's all coming out now. In front of me.

"Just like you can fuck Natalie in the bar as many times as you want." Julia spits out.

"Ok. Both of you cut it out. You guys really can't get along for five minutes anymore, can you?" I can't listen to anymore. I'm still trying to wrap my head around James fitting into this concoction.

They both fold their arms over their chests at the same time unintentionally, and lean back in their chairs, throwing daggers at each other with their eyes. Both of them are acting like they are five years old. But Nate's eyes soften and he looks away when Julia tries holding back her tears. Jesus Christ. They really ARE in love with each other. How was I so blind???

"Jesus. Forget fucking around, do you think you can get through practices without KILLING each other? I don't know which is worse!"

They both nod.

"Good. Now all you need to do is act normal, stay out of the news and get this over with." I lean back in my chair and sigh.

"Shit." Julia says, needing to say something.

"What?" I ask, but Julia focuses on Nate.

"That black SUV...It's back."

All previous coldness has been dropped. Nate's eyes fill with concern. He sits up straighter now.

"What? When? Why didn't you tell me??"

"We haven't really been... talking..."

"Where Julia?" He rubs the stubble on his face, stressed out with yet another problem on his plate.

"That night. The night we ended everything. Shit. I was crying in my car and noticed it parked but running in the same spot as before. It didn't follow me or anything like that." Julia pauses."I don't need Paul..."

"You do." He runs his fingers through his hair with his eyes glued to her now.

"No. Really. I don't. But you should know. In case that lady is digging around."

"What more would she be digging for?" My eyes are darting back and forth between the two of them confused. "What are you not telling me?"

"If anything gets leaked out it's because of this asshole." Julia glares at Nate. He says nothing and I have no fucking idea what is happening.

"You told James." Julia blurts out and Nate's face drops. "I can't believe you did that!" She starts crying . "Do you know how that makes me feel?! I would NEVER do that to you!!"

"Jules." He knows he fucked up. Whatever happened. I can tell Hollan fucked up royally

"Jules nothing!! I didn't give you permission to tell James shit!" Julia switches her emotion from crying to yelling at him. "You didn't even ASK me first! You didn't even LET ME KNOW you talked to him!! HE told me. Because it's the right fucking thing to do!"

"What the hell are you two talking about?" I'm having a hard time keeping up.

"Nothing!" The both yell but keep their focus on each other.

"James. That's the hot front desk guy.." I have that piece down. The James I know. The same James I hang out with on occasion. My new friend James.

"Trisha..." Nate gives me a look. No... Please....just...no.

"Oohh.... OOOH." I catch on after a second and become real silent. Nate is with Julia.. Julia fucked around with James. And that ruins any hopes of me ever becoming more than just friends with him. 

 Why does Julia seem to be getting in the way of every thing I want lately? I really like him. A lot...

"Why would you do that to me, Nate?" Julia glares at Nate.

"Can we talk about this later?" Nate replies. He never wants to talk about anything. He's sitting there staying calm.

"No. You seem to talk to her more than me anyway." Julia nods my way but doesn't look at me. Is she fucking for REAL right now??? "Why the hell do you think we didn't work out? Your communication skills fucking suck. Towards me at least. You have no problems telling Trisha and James my personal shit but you can't talk to me, can you?"

I'm internally screaming. Ok. She's known him for less than a fucking fuck of a year. I've known him forever. She can't possibly be going there right now. I'm getting pissed but let this all play out in front of me.

"Julia, please. Not here." Nate's voice is stern now.

"Not anywhere, right?" Julia ignores my presence completely. "We can't be seen together, can't be in a room together. You don't talk to me but expect me to be completely open with you! You expect me to talk to you, to trust you, to fuck you, but the minute I let my guard down- you throw it in my face and humiliate me!" Julia's words punch him in the throat. Nate is speechless. As am I.

"You know I didn't mean to say that shit." He looks her. I'm not following everything that's happening but Nate will tell me later.

"But you said it anyways. And then you tell him! You just love trying to sabotage any good thing I have, don't you?! You hate to see me happy. Because you can't FIX 'happy', can you? You rather see me broken so you have a reason to be a hero. Well, here I am, Nate. Fucking here and broken."

Nate swallows hard. "You know that's not true, right?" He softens his voice. "Julia..."

I'm frozen. It takes me a minute to absorb it all before speaking.

"OK, I have no fucking clue what you two are talking about but clearly you still need a break from each other. Let's try this again next week, ok?" I finally chime in.

Before anyone agrees, Julia stands up and leaves the room slamming the door behind her.

"Fuck!" Nate throws his phone across the room, making me jump, and heads to the window.

"Shit. What the hell did you do Nate?" I walk over and pick up Nate's phone, making sure it's ok, before handing it to him.

"I fucked up." He starts pacing the room like he always does.

"That part is obvious. What did you do to her? How did you fuck up? Because that was intense."

"It's always intense. But I can't tell you anything, ok? You don't need to know. God damn it, I can't do this right now." He grabs his keys and storms out, leaving me in the now empty studio.

*****

The next morning Nate doesn't show up to his meeting, so I take a drive knowing exactly where he is and why. He's hungover. Again.

"You can't keep doing this." I barge into his bedroom like I live here too. He squints his eyes when I yank the curtains back letting the sun fill his room.

"You can't keep breaking in." Nate groans and throw a pillow at me before pulling the covers over his head to shield himself from the daylight.

"Pull it together, Playboy. You're lucky the only meeting you skipped out on was with me." I look around. Nate's room is a disaster. Clothes everywhere. This isn't like him at all. He's getting worse. This is more than getting drunk. This is depression. I start picking up clothes strewn throughout the room. "This isn't like you. You're a neat freak."

Nate just shrugs me off and gives in to the sunlight. He sit up in bed, in only his boxer briefs. There's broken glass in the corner of his room. What the hell? It's a shattered whiskey bottle. I shake my head and start picking up the shards of glass.

"Stop, I'll do it later. Trish, you're gonna cut yourself." He mumbles. Right as he says that I nick my finger just a little and nod, leaving the mess behind. I sit on his bed instead.

"She's really got a hold on you, huh, Nate..."

He lets out a sigh, closes his eyes, and leans his head back on the headboard, giving me a slight nod to answer me.

"How did I not catch on? How the hell did you manage to keep all this from me?"

"Lots of hard work and dedication." He looks away. I kick off my high heels, scoot over, and put his arm around my shoulder while I get comfortable...waiting to talk about all the shit that went down yesterday. Nate glances at me, and keeps his arm across my shoulder. I lean back into him more.

"You guys were together right from the start, weren't you?" My eyes stare ahead and a hard lump forms in my throat. Everyone's been lying to me for so long. Even my best friend.

"The less you know, the better Trish. It doesn't even matter. It's over."

"You really do love her, don't you, Nate? "You need to get out of this city for a while. Go home to London. Clear your head."

"You know I can't. I still have to deal with Cara. You know this Trisha." He snaps and inhales sharply.

"Right. Christ, how can I help you?" I ask. I feel useless if I can't help him.

"Don't say anything. Book our practices like you know nothing. Just let us finish out the contract." He looks down at me with pleading eyes.

"You know I'm shit at lying when it comes to the big stuff. I can clean up the small shit, Nate. But this is beyond my ability." I hold on to his hand that hangs off my shoulder to try and comfort him.

"I know. That's why I kept this from you."

"You know this sends her home if someone finds out."

"Yeah."

"Legal shit may go down..." I look up at him nervously.

"I know all this, Trish."

"So what do we do?"

"We wait. We wait for the ball to drop and let this all play out." He leans his head back against the headboard again and closes his eyes.

"Is it really over?"

"You saw the tension. It's over. She loved me. But she loves someone else now too...He's better for her than I am."

James? That's who he's referring to... MY James. The James I had no idea was part of this web of lies.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because all we do is fight and break each other's hearts. She's got a lot of baggage to get through. We're no good together." He retracts his arm off my shoulder and rubs his face with both hands. "She's ... difficult."

"And you're not?" I scoff. We both know he can be a pain in the ass.

"That's the thing. He will be better for her. Me and Julia... we're like oil and water."

"So when this is over, you're just...letting her go?" I furrow my brows.

"I have to. I just want her to be happy."

"You're not used to this, are you? Well, aside from Macy."

"What..."

I sigh and lean my head on his shoulder, back to looking straight ahead instead of at him. "Having to actually put in the work. She doesn't care if you are some famous singer. Your money means nothing to her, does it? "

"She could give two shits."

"So what does James have that you don't?"

"Stability." Nate sighs. "A simple life. He's a good guy and he has all the things I can't give her. Just because... I'm me..."

I hate that. It hurts so much. Nate is a good guy too. He's right. He's not James. But he's Nate. And I hate seeing him feel less than what he is just because of his job and the media. I hug him hard and feel him lean his chin on top of my head. I hug him tighter when I notice he's crying. I back my head up and look at him but he just shakes his head and closes his eyes, breaking my heart which each tear that falls.

"I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you. The right person will come along. One that can handle this lifestyle."

"I don't want the right person. I want her. I can't fix this. I've lost her."

I swallow hard, not knowing what to say but also wanting to be here for him. I pull his head to rest on my chest while I run my fingers through his hair to comfort him. We sit on his bed and I let Nate cry in my arms.

"Shit Nate. I'm sorry. How can I help you??"

"You can't. It's over."

I put my hands on his face and tilt him up so he can see me but he closes his eyes, embarrassed my his tears. He's had to be strong for so long and take care of everyone else but himself. No one is ever taking care of him. I'm the only one in his life he lets in, I'm the only one in his life he doesn't have to take care of.

I peck his stubbled cheek softly over and over again as his tears roll down his face. Then... I kiss a little closer to his mouth. I pause, feeling something stir inside me, and kiss him again, letting my lips linger longer than the others. What am I doing??

Nate looks down at my lips, and I kiss the corner of his mouth softly and freeze for a second, having an internal battle with myself. Then... I let my lips brush against his, and my heart picks up in pace. I kiss him again.. and we both realize this is more than my usual quick peck of the lips. We both feel the same thing.

Nate kisses me back.

He kisses me back and deepens it, letting his tongue touch mine, sending a wave of electricity straight down my body.

We finally make eye contact but still say nothing to each other. I nod my head a little to let Nate know this is ok.

Of course it's ok. 

It's all I've ever wanted.

 It's been a long time since we've been together and aside from a few slip ups, I've always tried to keep things professional. But now.. Now I lay flat on the bed and he slowly rolls on top of me.

His mouth travels down my neck and he takes my top off. I reach back and unclasp my bra to add to the pile. His lips travel to my chest and my back arches so I'm against him. This is really happening right now.

"This is ok?"

"Yeah. Just this one time." I breathe out. I say this every time.

We waste no time now. He takes off my skirt and I take the rest of my clothes off. Leaving me in my black thong and thigh highs, while pulling down his boxers to take off. Nate lays back on top of me and kisses me softly, making me want more. Making me want all of him. If only he knew how much I love him.

"All I want to do is take care of you, you know that?" I whisper. "I just want to see you happy, Nate."

He nods and kisses me a little more feverishly now. Our movements continue to be slow and soft but the sensation surprisingly strong.

"Want me to grab a condom?"

"I'm on the pill. Wait.... do you use one when you're with Natalie?" Slutty Natalie.

"God of course. I'm clean."

"OK. You're fine then." The awkward but needed conversation ends there.

The next thing I know, Nate lines himself up and rocks into me slowly while attaching his lips to my neck. We both gasp at the initial sensation. It may not have been long for Nate, but it has been a while for me, and he can feel it from the tightness, so he lets me adjust for a second before continuing. Everything he's doing is feeling amazing. Having his body flush against mine while he grinds into me is driving me crazy. I clench my muscles and his breath hitches. He knows I'm getting enough frictions everywhere I need to start feeling the tension. He moves faster when he feels me tense up more. He knows I'm getting closer.

My breath hitches now when he unintentionally twitches inside of me. I moan a little and close my eyes tight, feeling the pressure. I'm so close now. Oh, god. I try not to make any noise but my body tightens more as my orgasm hits me from everything he's doing and I shake and moan into his shoulder, grinding my hips into him harder to make it last. He can slide into me with more ease now and slowly rolls his hips into mine, helping me ride it out.

"Nate...that felt.." I lose my train of thought and inhale sharply when he picks up speed and grinds into me even harder, making it happen for me again. Holy shit. I can't even comprehend what I'm feeling right now with him inside me.

Nate thrusts into me hard, and his hand glides up and down my leg, twitching again while feeling the fabric of my thigh highs. I let out a moan when he thrusts into me faster and hear him groan and pant, now desperately in need of his own release.

Shit. He's gonna make it happen for me again if he keeps hitting that spot. Right as I think that, another wave of an orgasm hits me hard, and I accidentality moan. Loud. My body shakes, and I round my back and hold on to his body tight as I hit my high. Everything feels so good.

Suddenly, Nate slams into he faster like I need him to, and I claw at his back, giving in and moaning loudly when I feel it.. He's also moaning and grunting as he works, and it turns me on even more. He's now fucking me so hard, and it feels SO fucking good.

"I won't be able to hold on much longer..." He warns.

"Go ahead... you can." I let him do whatever he wants now, slamming into me as hard as he needs, so hard the bed hits the wall repetitively and the banging echoes through the room. I can feel he's so close and I wrap my arms around his back, pulling him in as close as I possibly can as he crashes in and out of me. His rhythm becomes sloppy and I know he's right there.

"Oh God..." Nate gasps, comes inside me, and pounds into me so hard I hit my high again, shaking underneath his body. He rides it out longer for me until all the tension is gone for us both.

Like always, I wrap my arms around him, not wanting him to pull out right away, and I hear him laugh a little, remembering what I like. He lays down on top of me and relaxes his body, still rocking in and out of me softly, getting every last second of the sensation he can get.

"Jesus, Nate." I try to regulate my breathing and he smirks at me a little. He's still sad but I think this helped a little.

"You know I love you right?" He says in my ear. It's all I ever wanted to hear.

"I do. You know only as a friend though, right?" I remind him...and me.. That this is all it ever can be. I want more. I've always wanted more. But I can't. If we make it more, we could fuck up our friendship and not having him at all would ruin me. So having just part of him is all I'll allow.

"Of course."

"Just checking, Playboy." I close my eyes and hold him tight, starting to fall asleep with Nate still inside me. He finally pulls out and I whine at the loss of contact.

"Your still so fucking needy you know that?" He tease like always.

"Some things never change."

He lays flat on his back and pulls me to him while draping the covers over us. I rest my head on his chest and he combs through my hair.

"We really need those lessons, Trisha." Nate kisses the top of my head while I start to doze off.

"You can't fuck this up Nate." I whisper.

"She won't take me back. It's over. There's nothing to fuck up now.."

"I know, sweetie." I hold him a little tighter. "You'll get through this." Is the last thing I remember before falling asleep in his arms.

*****

*James*

I knock on Julia's hotel room door. We had plans to grab a coffee and talk but she never met me in the lobby. She opens the door slowly.

"You ready?" I ask and look at Julia closer. "Are you ok?" She's upset. Really upset

She opens the door all the way and I can see fucking Nate Hollan sitting on the couch, equally distraught.

"You know what?!" She spins around to the counter and grabs her keys. "Why don't YOU both talk and decide for me. OK?! Because apparently no one in this fucking room seems to know what to do anymore. Once you two figure it out, let me know." Julia pushes past me and storms out of the room.

"Julia!" We both call out in unison and both freeze, realizing we said it at the same time.

"What just happened?" I stand in the doorway and scratch my head.

"Julia happened. That's what." Nate leans his head back on the couch in frustration. I enter the room letting the door close behind me

"Listen, I don't know what you two are right now-" I start but Nate cuts me off.

"Save it, Gallo. I was telling her to choose you. You're the better guy, Mate. You'll make her happy and that's all I've ever wanted for her." Nate stands up and make eye contact with me. "You win."

He walks past me and leaves Julia's room.

*****