*James*

About a half hour after Julia goes up to her room, who shows up but Nate Hollan. Of course. But he's not here to talk to Julia this time.

"How may I help you, sir?" I stand and recite the standard Marriot phrase.

"Cut the bullshit, James." Nate is pissed and I don't know what his issue is.

"I'm sorry?" I look at him in confusion, and he walks closer to the front desk, looking around to make sure no one is in the lobby.

"I know you slept with her. She told me."

I shake my head. "I've slept with a lot of people." I shrug, getting under his skin more.

"Julia. You know we are together, right?? I know you know.." Nate says, and his British voice comes out more now that he's mad.

"Listen, man. I don't know what you two have going on. And to be honest, it's none of my business. Yes, we slept together. But let me be clear, that's none of YOUR business. You guys aren't married. She can do whatever the hell she wants." I say calmly, and I think me being calm verses him being heated is driving him crazy. But I'm not one to yell or even get all worked up. This is all stupid shit. They aren't really together. You can't be together when you have to hide your relationship like they have to. I don't know what they are, to be honest.

"Ok, listen. I'm gonna tell you something. Because I need your help, ok?" Nate says to me, and I give him a weird look. He takes a minute to think of how to word things the right way. "We need to be on the same page here. Especially after this weekend. What happened... between you two.... it messed her up, ok? It messed ME up, mate. Apparently, we both have feelings for the same woman, and I think Julia has feelings for both of us."

I remain silent, unsure where this is going, and continue to listen to what Nate says.

"I fucked up. I got mad at her when she told me she slept with you, and I flipped my lid on her. I'm not proud of it, ok? But, James, there's shit going on in her head. I'm not sure what, but ... Jesus Christ..." He stalls and rakes his hands down his face in frustration, almost unable to continue what he needs to say.  I lean against the lobby desk, giving him time to get the words out.

"You can NOT tell anyone this. I need you to look out for her, ok?" Nate says softer now.

"Look out for Julia? She's a grown woman. I haven't a fuck what you're talking about Mr. Hollan."

"James." Nate nervously runs his hand through his hair and stares down at the desk for a moment. Whatever he needs to tell me is hard to say out loud. He has my full attention now. Nate lets out a sigh and finally gets to the point.

"She tried to commit suicide this weekend, mate." 

My eyes widen hearing that one sentence and I know all the color has drained from my face. "WHAT?? What are you talking about, Hollan!?"

I suddenly feel like I'm going to throw up from hearing this.

"Listen. She's going through shit. I don't know. She lost her kid and then had sex with me and then you and it's messing with her head. I need to know she's gonna be ok when I can't be around to watch over her. This weekend was bad." Nate gives away that he was with Julia in Boston this weekend and realizes it instantly. I'm still too shocked to say anything. Why would Julia do something like this?

"H- how?" I stutter with my words.

"She took a bunch of shit. Fuck. I found her unconscious in the bathtub full of freezing water."

"Holy shit." I blurt out. "Oh my God." I hold my forehead and pace around behind the desk a little trying to process this information. I had no idea what we did... what her and Nate did... affected her to this extent. I feel like there's something more to the story. Maybe some kind of infidelity with her ex-husband that triggered this or something because this seems so...crazy. My heart breaks for Julia and actually breaks for Nate Hollan as well...having to deal with something so big this weekend.

"You can NOT tell her I told you this. We need to be on the same side here. We both want her to be safe. We both care about her. That's obvious. But I can't fucking sleep at night knowing she's here alone. She's a ticking time bomb, and until I can get her the help she needs, no one can fucking know anything. Not that we are together. Not that her son died. Not that she tried to kill herself. Nothing. If anyone finds out I will know you leaked it, you hear me?" Nate warns and glares at me, but I can also see the pain in his eyes as well. This weekend was a mess for him.

"Loud and clear." I nod. "I'm sorry you had to deal with this. I had no idea what we did one time affected her like this."

"It's not your fault. I think she has a lot going on she is not sharing. She is quiet. She doesn't even talk about her son. Just saying his name gives her a panic attack. Julia holds everything in and I think this weekend was her breaking point. But I just need you to watch over her, when you can. Make sure she's safe. Make sure she doesn't shut down in her room."

"Shut down?" I have no clue what he means by that.

"James, the weekend she didn't leave her room. She told you she had the stomach bug. She lied. Again, you say one word and I'll ring your fucking neck. I don't care if you are twice my size." He glares at me again. "She didn't have the stomach bug, ok? She had this ...I don't know...this meltdown. She didn't eat or drink anything from Friday afternoon until I checked on her on Monday. That's why I was there. That's why I ordered all that food. She fucking passed out from dehydration. I don't think this is the first time Julia has done something like this. She just, I don't know. She checked out."

"Jesus Christ." It's all I can say while my mind takes in all this information. Poor Julia. She's really struggling. And she's across the map with no one for friends or family to talk to here.

"Can I trust you to look out for her?"

"Of course, Nate.  You have my word." I nod and watch him exit the building

Holy Fuck.

I let this conversation consume me for the rest of my work shift. It's all I could think about. After work, I try to snap out of it and I run home to grab Maggie and my laundry. My friggen washer broke and of course, I don't have money to fix it, so I have to use the laundry room at the hotel. While gathering all my clothes my brain runs a mile a minute thinking of what Nate told me last night. I can't let Julia know I know but I feel so bad for her. I'm on high alert now because I know she's here all alone and struggling. It only takes one bad day to push you off the ledge when you are already on top of the building ready to jump.

"Cmon, Mags. I need to drop this off before our run." I put her harness on her and grab my laundry baskets.

Once I load the stuff in the washing machine, I walk the dog and run to the grocery store to pick up more dog food for her. I come back to the hotel and notice Julia is in the laundry room. She's laying her head down on the small folding table.

"Is this where we sleep now?" I startle her and she looks up at me.

"You! You're the culprit!" She watches me take my clothes out of the washer and I turn around. She was waiting for this machine, wasn't she? I study her. God, she hides it well. She looks perfectly fine. Happy if that. Joking around with me and all.

"Who me?" I wink.

"Yes, you! What the heck, Gallo."

"Shhh, don't tell anyone. My washer kicked the bucket this weekend. I haven't had time to take it apart to see what's up. I'll be out of your way in a minute. Sorry, I thought I had more time. I had to pick up Maggie." I say in embarrassment. The last thing I need Julia to know is that I struggle with money, the completely opposite of her boyfriend who will never have to worry about that shit for the rest of his life. God we are two very different men.

"Is she here?? With you?" Julia perks up and I can't help but laugh.

"She is. She's in the car waiting for me." I watch Julia load her clothes and Julia being Julia is a hot mess, dropping things as she goes. I watch a matching red lace bra, and panties fall to the ground and Julia's face turns the same color red.

"You're a hot mess. But...red IS my favorite color." I flirt.

"Behave, Gallo." Julia makes her way back to her seat at the small table.

"You can come see Mags if you like. I know she'd love to see you."

Julia jumps up in excitement. Maybe petting Maggie will help Julia. My dog may not be a true therapy dog, but she DOES help.

"I take that as a yes? C'mon." I nod towards the door, and she follows me. We head down the hall to the side entrance. "You have your key, right Miss Moretti?" I tease and she waves her card in my face. "Good girl."

Once outside Julia stops for a moment when the sun hits her face. I watch her close her eyes and tilt her head up to the sun, letting out a little sigh and smiles. She doesn't look depressed to me.

"Right? I did the same thing when I woke up this morning." I admit.

"How do you stay so happy..." Julia asks sincerely. She has no idea I know what I know. I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly before I speak.

"I promised myself I'd be the best version of... me, when I found out I was gonna be a dad. I wasn't in a good place back then." I shrug.

I close my eyes and tilt my face up like Julia did and feel the warmth of the sun on my face before I continue.

"And when Carter was born, I promised to be the best dad I could possibly be. I promised to be the complete opposite of my own dad." I open my eyes and glance down at the beautiful woman next to me.

"Deep, right?" I laugh and bump into her a little to make her smile.

"But like... after..."

 "I keep my promises. I know my lil man is up there watching me. I will be the best version I can be for him no matter what."

"Do you believe that?" Julia questions.

"What?"

"That he's up there, watching down on you." Her facial expression changes and tears fill her eyes quickly. Shit.

"I have to. I'd drive myself crazy if I didn't. You should try it. It helps. I like to think Carter is now 11 years old. Maybe kicking a soccer ball or climbing a tree."

"But I want him HERE!!" She bursts into tears and I quickly wrap my arms around her.  Jesus Christ. She IS struggling.

"Hey... it's ok." I let her cry in my chest and rip my heart out in the same swift movement.

"I get it. Believe me, I do." I rub her back to help calm her down. "Aww, sweetie..." 

"I'm sorry." Julia pulls away, still crying. "Shit. I'm sorry."

"Never apologize for grieving. You should never be sorry for loving someone that isn't here anymore." I wipe away a tear with my thumb and give her a sympathetic smile. "That's what years of grief counseling teaches us right? C'mon. Let's go see Maggie."

Julia nods and pulls herself together. I've never seen this side of her. Her broken side. Not like this. Now I see what Hollan is talking about. She may be quiet and reserved but her emotions are being suffocated by her grief. It's not healthy. I take a deep breath and try to change the mood for her.

"Maggie, look who I found!!" I open the door to my SUV. The minute Maggie sees Julia she bolts out. Maggie knows Julia needs her right now. She jumps on her, knocks her down and licks her face. My little therapy dog.

"Mags! Knock it off!" I pull her harness, but she isn't having it. "I'm sorry."

"Never apologize for puppy love." Julia lets my dog jump all over her.

"Jesus, I've never seen her like this before!" I sit on the pavement next to Julia, shaking my head at my dog.

"I missed you, sweet girl!"

"I'm gonna say she missed you too. I don't get it, Mags. I'm the one who feeds you and walks you and takes care of you." I scruff her ear and kiss her snout.

"Are we getting jealous, Mr. Gallo?" 

"Very." I watch Julia pet Maggie for a few minutes silently. "She's a good therapy dog, right? You're not crying anymore."

"She really is."

"Mags won't take the sadness away. We'll have that forever. But she sure as hell helps."

"You mean that daily pain in your heart you get the minute you wake up every single day?" Julia asks while looking down at Maggie's sweet little face.

"Yep. That." I reply knowing exactly what she's talking about. We both nod at the same time, understanding that same feeling. "You can come see Mags whenever you like. Whenever I have her. Seriously." I stand to my feet and look down at Julia.

"I gotta get her home to feed her while my clothes are drying. You're welcome to come with- if you want to spend time with her... I mean." 

"I appreciate it. But I shouldn't."

"I'm just too irresistible, huh?" I put my hand out, and she takes it, letting me pull her up to her feet.

"Yeah, something like that." She rolls her eyes, but I see right through it. I step in a little closer and look down at Julia, tucking her hair behind her ears. She keeps her eyes on my dog and gulps noticeably hard before making eye contact with me. I lean in a little closer and she freezes. There's no denying she feels something for me, like I do for her.

"I'll be back in time for you to switch over your laundry." I whisper, trying to make laundry sexy. I got to her, and she can tell. "I promise." I back away and laugh.

"Irresistible, I tell ya! Irresistible!" I yell to the world and give Julia a wink, making her shake her head and smile at me. That smile. 

"C'mon Mags. Let's go eat." I clap my hands twice, and Maggie follows me obediently, hopping back to her blanket.

"I'll be back!" I hop into my car and drive away.