Julia sits by my side now all the time. She talks to me, cries to me. She takes care of me. I feel her  brush my hair, clean me, and move my body for me. She kisses me. 

I feel her. Sometimes  I hear other people get upset with her. They tell her to rest.

I hear everything all the time. When it's quiet, I see Carter. But I am ripped from him the second someone is near me.

"Jules, you look tired. Why don't you let the nurses take over and get some rest, love?"

I hear Nate's British accent.

"I'm almost done." 

Julia is taking care of me. She kisses the side of my mouth, and I try to show her I'm here. That I can feel her kiss. 

"You're shaking. C'mon."

"Wait...."

I hear a little chaos, and Nate is upset.

"Jesus Christ, Julia. You're doing too much."

"Please. Don't say anything to them." 

"I won't. But if this keeps happening..."

"It's just part of the detox, Nate. You know I get weak."

The detox.

"I also know you're doing too much. Let Jonah and Casey do some of it for James. You're in the worst stage of your detox." 

"It helps me. It keeps my mind off shit. Keeps me busy. Plus, it's James. He'd do the same for ANY one of us."

You know I would, sweetie. Yes. Even for Nate.

"I can think of other ways for you to keep busy...."

Yeah, I would rather be at the damn beach right about now..

"Oh, Shi-. Sorry. Julia. It's time for your evening meds." 

The voice is someone named Casey. I don't know who she is, but she's with me often now. She takes care of Julia. And Nate.

"I should have knocked..."

"Casey, you can turn around. We're not doing anything."

Thank you, God, for sparing me.

"Julia. You did everything already?" Casey sees Julia has been taking care of me. "You need to rest."

"That's what I've been telling her."

"I want to be the one to do it. He'd do it for me."

"How have YOU been feeling? Your tremors seem to be getting worse. Are there any dizzy spells or anything?" 

"Nope." 

She's lying to her. I can tell.

It's Casey taking care of me now. Not Julia. I can tell.

"Not one rash or bedsore on him. His complexion looks perfect. You've been taking really good care of him, Julia. He's a good-looking guy. He reminds me of that guy who was in High School Musical."

Oh boy. Here we go. Like I haven't heard this one before. Yes, we know. I'm the poor  version of Zac Efron...

"Zac Efron!"

Good job, Julia. Can we move on now?

"YES! Him!"

"I've been thinking that from day one. I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it!"

PLEASE let me go back to Carter at the beach...

******

*Trisha*

"Ok. So, Austin is off. Richard isn't happy about it, but I can't bring myself to schedule another trip there. Every time I do, something bad happens."  I admit while sitting at the small kitchen table of the suite. I type away on my laptop and go over things work related with Nate. Work related means show up looking like it's work related. I wear my work clothes. Today, a gray skirt and light pink blouse. My hair is in a sleek ponytail

Julia is down in PT. Jonah is grabbing breakfast in the cafeteria because he NEVER stops eating. Paul is being my shadow while scrolling through his phone on the couch, and James is being James.

Nate is strumming his guitar, working on a new piece. He jots notes down every few seconds. Crosses things out. Rewrites things. He's in his creative mode. He's writing a new song, and I could watch him in this mode all day long. It's intriguing.

Every once in a while, he'll stop doing what he's doing, and I catch him looking at my legs or checking me out in some way. Nate being Nate. Some things never change.

"Are you even listening to me, Hollan?"

"No, princess. I'm too busy looking at those legs. Of course I'm listening to you. No Austin. Good. One less thing I have to worry about." I knew it. I pull my skirt down a little, and Nate disapproves. "You're no fun..."

"They are releasing another song from the album on Friday at midnight. I'll update your Instagram for you and start promoting the countdown. Maybe we can get some local radio stations to set up shop in here for you to do some interviews?"

"Julia's not in a good place right now with her detox. It would have to work around her PT. And James is here....."

"Right." I wasn't even thinking of that. "Richard is on me. When do you think they will discharge you? Maybe we could get you into the studio. I could call your driver-"

I stop short. 

Fuck. 

Malcolm, Nate's driver for years and years, didn't survive the accident. We try not to talk about it much because we are all waiting for the ball to drop on what will happen when the police find his next of kin. The fate of James's future lies in that family member's hands, and it makes all of us sick to our stomachs just thinking about it.

James can't go from a coma to prison. I can't let that happen. That would break him completely. He's not meant for that type of life. He's James.

"Sorry." I sit up straighter and clear my throat. " I will look into hiring someone for you."

"Can we talk about the other day, Trish?"

Oh, here we go. If it's not Jonah, it's Nate.

"Nothing happened, Nate. They escorted him out, and he won't be back here. End of story."

"Trish... Why would you want to talk to him after everything he-"

"Drop it, Nate." I look down at my laptop hoping he will stop talking now.

"It's like you can't control yourself around him." 

"What...like how you are with Julia? You're addicted to that woman, and I hate to say it.. but you don't know what's gonna happen when James wakes up. And he WILL wake up."

"Don't go turning the tables on me. We're talking about YOU right now. I'm not afraid of Julia. She's harmless."

"Tell that to your bathroom she destroyed." I remind Nate of the damage done to his home when fucking tornado Julia blew through.

"You're so hard to deal with. You need to get laid or something."

Nice, Nate. Real nice.

"Paulie, you're open for business, right?" Nate cocks an eyebrow at my bodyguard. "Help the lady out."

This is humiliating! Especially since I know for a fact, I would take Paul to bed in a heartbeat if I could read him better and knew he was into me. Then again...Nate's right. I'd take just about anybody right now. He knows me too damn well.

"You're bored out of your mind here, you know that? Finish writing your song so I can get Richard off my ass." I scoff at my boss.

"And Paul on it.."

"Ok.. we're done here. I need coffee. Lets go, hotstuff."  I bolt up out of my chair and slam my laptop shut as Nate's laugh fills the room.

"I really hate you sometimes, Hollan." I say while pulling Paul up off the couch and quickly leaving the room.  One of the bodyguards sees I'm on the move and I roll my eyes as he walks in front of me and Paul. Paul keeps his hand on the small of my back, escorting me  to the cafeteria.

It's not too busy right now being two in the afternoon. Paul grabs two cup and hands me one to fill with coffee. We decide to sit outside on the back patio. It's just a small square space that the building wraps around  but it's fresh air and no one can get to us without  entering the main entrance and going through security.  I sit down and notice a  two of the  James's sisters sitting  on the bench. 

"Hey Gallo girls. Kendall, right?" I try to remember the youngest's name. She nods and wipes her eyes. Gwen is with her but not in rare form like her sister.

"Mind if I join you?" I sit at the picnic table across from them. We are the only people out here so Paul stays put, giving me a little space.

"Yeah I was just telling KENDALL here how she needs to go up and see her brother..." Gwen says in an irritated way. Kendal crosses her arms over her chest and looks down at the patch of grass, bouncing her knee nervously. She soo reminds me of Julia.

"You still haven't seen James yet? Why not? He looks the same. He's not on the Ventilator anymore or anything like that. He just looks like he's sleeping." I remind her while sipping my coffee.

"But he's not. He's in a coma. Unconscious. Just laying there...dying." She chokes on her words and begins to cry.

"Stop saying that, Ken. He's not dying. He's gonna wake up." Gwen says.

"You know the longer a patient stays in a coma the shorter the odds are for a full recovery, Gwen. We've all done the research. You can stop with your bullshit. IF James wakes up we have no idea what condition he'll be in or how severe the brain damage is."

"Way to be optimistic." Gwen gives her sister a look of disgust. "You know what's gonna happen? He MAY fucking die and you never  went up there to see him. Not one fucking time. Let's see how you live life with THAT kind of regret, Kendall." Gwen slams her hand on the table, making  all of us jump. "God, you can be so annoying!" She  gets up and leaves her sister, going back into the cafeteria without looking back. 

"What's stopping you from visiting your brother?" I tread knowing this isn't my place.

"I'm afraid when I see him, I'm not gonna be able to handle it." Kendall slouches her shoulders and continues looking down at the ground.

"I'm sure he'd like to hear your voice, Kendall. I know he can hear and feel things.  I can go with you if you don't want to go alone."

"I'm good. Maybe tomorrow." Kendall abruptly stands and leaves to go back in like her sister did.

Everyone is under so much stress.

Paul comes and sits next to me now but doesn't say anything because Paul is Paul and doesn't say much as it is.

"He should have woken up by now." I hold my head in my hands. "Cmon Hot stuff. I need to go for a run."

"You're killing me." My bodyguard huffs knowing he has to follow along. 

We head back to Nate's so I can change into workout clothes. I've taken over Nate's room, now living out of a suitcase since I don't want to go home. Paul pretty much has his entire wardrobe in his room now, and I wonder where he lived before all this happened. Did he have his own house, an apartment? A roommate? Come to think of it, I know absolutely nothing about Paul.

Same goes for Jonah.  How did these people drop everything in their lives for their jobs the way these two did.  I've been so caught up in my own shut, I never bothered to ask. Not that Paul is a huge conversationalist, but Jonah is... I know nothing about him, and yet we all coexist under this roof.

My thoughts get knocked outta me when Paul knocks on the bathroom door.

"Are we doing this or what, Banks. I'm tired."

*****

*James*

I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's gonna be for me.  I can hear but not open my eyes. Feel but not move my body. Go from the ocean then back to black constantly.

 Has it been hours? Days? I can't tell.

And where the hell is Kendall? Ma, I understand.  But my sister... she's either scared for me or being stubborn.

Hell, even Nate talks to me. Come on, Ken. I need to know you're OK.

*****

"Sorry, Paulie." I give up after twenty minutes and bend over to catch my breath.  Paul was keeping up just fine, jogging behind me, staying aware of our surroundings while my thoughts run aimlessly. 

But then I think of what Jonah said.  What that Dr. Donovan kid said. I wasn't in some crazy abusive relationship. We didn't even live together. We weren't even TOGETHER - together, really.

"I can't seem to push through this run today." I explain as Paul looks down at me. He's not even out of breath. This guy bionic or something??

"Can we just walk the way back?" I stand up straight and redo my ponytail.

"We can do whatever you want. I don't get paid to say otherwise." Paul turns around but waits for me to lead the way, keeping his eyes focused on everything around us.

"You think I should try to get the restraining order again or do you think it's gonna be another waste of time?" I hop right into the discussion I left off in my head, catching Paul off guard for a second.

"I think you should keep trying. Go with that kid. He seems to know what he's talking about.  It would make my job much easier." Paul looks around on edge.

I didn't even think of what this does to my bodyguard. Knowing Dave is around, out there somewhere, self destructive now that he's drinking, and trying to see me.

I've been really self absorbed lately, haven't I?

I kick the dirty rock  in front of me as we walk and talk.

"And then what if Dave never gets the help he needs? Paul, he has no one. I was gonna help him get back on track."

"Not your job, Banks."

"Would you say the same if it were Nate? He needed help. I was there for him. He's getting better."

"Do I need to remind you the difference between Hollan and Brennan? I'm pretty sure Nate never laid a hand on you." The big bodyguard looks down at me with stern eyes.

"Oh, he laid hands on me all right..." I  tease, turning the conversation into the sex me and Nate had when I deterred him from the whiskey.

"Did NOT need to know that." Paul looks ahead and I laugh.

"What about you? You must have a life outside of watching over sad people like me."

"You're not sad people and does it look like I have time for a life right now?"

"You're not married with five kids at home somewhere making your wife watch them twenty four seven while you're on the job are you?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

Paul sees my car and lets out a sigh of relief.

"So what's your deal then? I've known you for years and know nothing about you besides being a workaholic."

"I liked it better when you were running. You weren't talking..." He huffs.
*****