*James*

Today has been a day for Julia. Her one-on-one meeting with Jeremy didn't go very well. When Nate and I return from session, Paul, Mike and Jeremy are deep in conversation while Julia is asleep on the couch.

The first thing I notice is how Maggie is right by her. The first thing Nate notices is the way Julia's arm is bandaged up. What the hell did she do?

"She didn't show me her arm. I would have called you if she did." Paul continues like we're not in the room.

"What?" Nate asks as we walk in.

"He was just telling me about some Eric dude..." Mike looks up at Nate but he clearly isn't invested in the conversation as much as we now are.

"Furgeson. Yeah."  Nate grabs two kitchen chairs and pulls them over for us to sit and join in on this little meeting. 

"Julia knows a lot about Eric Furgeson. We've previously talked about different signs...behaviors, feelings...different things to watch out for." Jeremy says while gazing at Julia.

"Great. What happened to her arm?" Nate is in no mood and patience isn't his strong suit.

 Jeremy tells us what he just told Paul. Her bad dream, the car accidents, the way she physically hurt herself in her sleep. Her suicidal thought- two nights in a row.  I feel physically sick to my stomach hearing this. Julia talks to me. She tells me everything. Why the hell didn't she tell me all this? Why am I hearing this from her damn rapist?

"I told you to look after her! To take care of her!" Nate loses his cool towards Paul, making my dog bark. I pat my leg twice and Maggie obediently comes to me so I can pet her and let her know it's ok. She was a rescue dog who didn't have a great start to life. She gets nervous when people yell.

"And I did. How the hell was I supposed to know she tried pulling her fucking veins out in her sleep. I don't strip search her to see if she hurt herself." Paul retorts.

"You do if you need to god damn it! She did that in her sleep?" Nate begins pacing the room. "Now I'm really gonna worry about her."

"Listen guys, that's exactly what she doesn't want. It's why she didn't tell you or want anyone in the room with her during therapy. She dragged Michael in there because she doesn't have a personal relationship with him. She knew this wouldn't affect him. I need to have open communication with Julia. If I don't, she's not going to tell me these things. And these are the things I need to know." Donovan explains. "She got herself so worked up over it she cried herself to exhaustion. I didn't want to give her any Ativan so.... yeah..." He looks at Julia and frowns.

"Good. She needs off that shit. No more injections. It fucks her up."

"Her head fucks her up Nate." Jeremy blurts out. "Right now, the only people she thinks knows about these bad dreams are Michael and Paul. Can we please keep it that way for now? She doesn't want you two to look at her differently or think she's going downhill."

"She IS going downhill!" I glare at the doctor. "Having PTSD nightmares is one thing. But she's blaming herself for things that happened in the p-past. Her son's death. My car accident. You....you being you and fucking her up the way you did. Things she can't fucking change! You're the doctor. Figure your shit out. C'mon Mags." I get up and walk to the sliders to get some air.

"Someone fucking open the fucking door for me!" I grit my teeth trying to open the door. Nate is the one to help me and I walk outside with Maggie. 

 I don't usually lose my temper like this but something's gotta give here. And I hate that Julia feels like she can't come to me to talk.  We NEVER keep things from each other. Never. This rattled Julia though. It made her feel like I would somehow judge her. I'd never judge her.

******

*Trisha*

Once again, Nate stayed at the Avalon to give Paul a little break and when he enters the apartment, I can tell he is stressed. The tired bodyguard plops down on the couch and closes his eyes.

"Rough day at the office, darling?" I tease and sit down next to him.  We just finished having dinner, Evan and Casey are in their rooms and Jonah is out on the balcony on the phone, probably talking to Nate by the looks of his pacing.

I'm happy to see Paul after thinking about him a lot today. God knows I don't feel like hanging out at the Avalon.

"You could say that." The grumpy man grunts.

"Moretti misbehaving over there?"

Paul opens his eyes and looks at me, shaking his head. Talking about Julia with Paul can be hit or miss. He has this connection with her. He wants to protect her. I'm not sure if it's because she's like Cara or because he couldn't help is mother and wants to prove he can help Julia, but the topic is touchy.

"The shit she's been through..." Paul mumbles and I push all kidding aside. He really has had a rough day. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it. Instead, I take his big bodyguard hand into mine and hold it. I rest the side of my head on his arm.

"Think you bit off more than you can chew, Paulie?" I ask softly.

"No. What? No, not at all." Paul stiffens up on me. 

"Sorry." I crossed his invisible line. "I just meant.... Nevermind."

Things are silent for a bit. I should never bring up Julia. Every time I do it comes out wrong.

But then I feel Paul squeeze my hand a little, so I lift my head and gaze up at him.

"You're fine, Trish." He looks down at me with a slight grin and his tired eyes gravitate to my lips. That one little thing puts butterflies in my stomach I can't ignore.

"Paul, did you think we were boring together?"

"No, but you did." Paul tucks my hair behind my ear and leaves his hand on the side of my face, sending that warm tingling sensation down my body. "But anyways,  I enjoy boring, Trish. I'm not one for excitement."

I knew it. I was the one who second guessed things. I was the one who screwed it all up. Now I don't know what the hell I want. I really like James. But I think I like the idea of James. The real James is in love with Julia.

But with Paul...

I don't know. We've been through shit together. We lived together for chrissakes.  Paul was there for me. He took care of me when I needed someone the most. He saw me at my worst.  It would be so nice to have someone taking care of me for a change instead of the other way around. And what I'm feeling right now in this moment... the way my heart races when he is close to me like this...it's something I haven't felt in a while. 

I don't realize I'm staring at Paul's lips while I'm lost in my own head thinking about this.

"Trish." Paul snaps me back into reality and I look up at those smoldering eyes. "What do you want? Because if you're with James-"

"I don't think I am. I think maybe... maybe we are good as friends." I admit the truth. Because yes, I am very sexually attracted to James, that's a given. But I think that clouded my vision a little. I need someone not in love with someone else. I need someone not preoccupied hoping for it to work with the other person. I need someone invested in me and only me. It's the only way I'm ever going to not want to be with Nate.

Paul leans in a little more when hearing this and his lips brush against mine. 

And then we kiss.

At first, it was a simple touch of our lips. Paul backs away a little and studied my face. When he sees my slight nod and eyes on his mouth he knows it's ok to continue. He kisses me again and this time it's passionate, hungry, and consuming me. Everything I want to feel in this moment.

Paul pulls me against him and the next thing I know my hands are in his hair and we are devouring each other full on making out on the couch. And it feels good. It feels right.

********

*James*

Paul doesn't come back for a while, which is fine. The guy needs a break. But I have a gut feeling he went to go hang out with Trisha. I hate to say it, but I think it's a good thing.

I really like Trisha. And we are very attracted to each other. But she's in love with Nate and me with Julia. That's never going to change, and I don't ever want to feel like I'm just using Trisha as a rebounder. That's the whole reason I didn't kiss her the first time near the elevator. I was so sad about everything going on with Julia at the time. She chose Nate and I chose to walk away completely. I didn't want my first kiss with Trisha to happen when I was still thinking about someone else. We didn't really leave things on the best terms the other day and most likely need to have a chat.

But Paul is a good man, a hard worker and like Trisha, a caretaker. It's part of his job. The protector. Trisha deserves someone to take care of her. I can't. I can't even take care of myself.  So if Paul did jet out of here to go see her, I'm happy. They both deserve someone who will treat them well.

I also know Paul has had his heart broken before and could use a relationship right now. He keeps his private life just that- private. But I've worked under him at the Marriott for years. It was Paul who organized this whole 4th floor idea and Paul who took me under his wing and trained with me. He took it hard when Brittany walked out of his life. They had been together for six years.

 But that's the thing with this job. Your job becomes your life. You go where your boss tells you to go and when and for however long they need you. You drop everything. It's just the bodyguard lifestyle. Similar to Trisha, in a way. She has to be available to Nate 24/7 no matter what. That's what she signed up for.

 Brittany wanted more from Paul. She wanted a boyfriend who was home every night. Someone she could settle down with. Someone she could marry and have babies with. Can't blame her there. But that's not Paul. And it's not in the works for Trisha either.

And when Paul came back to the Avalon, he didn't have to say anything. You could just tell the guy got laid with the goofy look to his face. Again, I have nothing but love for them if they are together. No hate whatsoever. They both deserve happiness, and I can't be what Trisha needs me to be. All I can be right now is a friend.

Of course, that being said- if they don't know what their relationship is yet and Trisha hops in my bed naked, I'm gonna have my way with her. I'm all for friends with benefits.

*******

*Trisha*

Paul and I moved fast last night and the next thing we know we are naked in my bed completely spent. He stayed for as long as he could but he couldn't stay overnight. He had to get back to the Avalon.

When I woke up this morning I felt like a different person.

I felt... loved.

I think I made a mistake the first time around with Paul. We weren't boring together. I just wasn't used to being forced to slow down in life. The pregnancy and miscarriage forced me to slow down. 

But I was still very confused. Hell for a while I was carrying a little mini-Nate Hollan. I still think about the baby often. Because it WAS a baby. Mine and Nate's baby. So, I got hung up trying to push things to work with Nate while he pushed me away.

These are the things I think about this morning while waiting for Nate to finish his workout in the gym. God, could you imagine the two of us trying to raise a baby? 

I get knocked back into reality when an email notification pops up on my phone.

Motherfucker.

"Richard wants to set up a meeting on the making of the Safe Haven music video." I read from my phone. "He is still hung up on the thought of having Mila Giovanni in it since the ratings were so good."

"Nope, no and not happening." Nate bangs the bar down and sits up. "I'm serious, Trisha. I want nothing to do with her and you need to let Richard know this. Or I will, and it won't be pretty."

"Like you have a say in the matter." I scoff.

"I SHOULD have a say- that's the problem!"

"So you're telling me you need me to do your dirty work for you? Tell Richard you won't do the video if he chooses her to be in it? Seriously? I need a God damn raise, playboy."

"I'm not dealing with this right now, I have my AA meeting to get ready for."

"You just want to go to the Avalon and see Julia." I walk out with Nate and hit the elevator button. "Anything to not deal with Richard."

"You should come with me. Talk it out with James. Make amends and get back together."

Yeah, I am SO not telling him squat yet.

"Now you're playing matchmaker? Why do you want me with James so bad anyway? So, he'll stay away from Julia?" 

"Pretty much, doll."

*******

*James*

"I'm nervous." Julia whispers to me and puts her head on my shoulder. We just finished lunch in the cafeteria and have a little time back in the apartment before my therapy session. Paul is still on the phone with Jonah and has moved his conversation into my bedroom.

"About taking the new meds? You don't start till tomorrow, right?"

"Nervous about the therapy appointment." 

"Don't be. You've been to a million therapy sessions now." I tease.

"Yeah well... I don't have a lot of faith in doctors these days. Especially psychiatrists."

"It's good Jeremy is introducing you to a new doctor, though. That means he knows... the dude knows you can't ever fully trust him anymore after what he did to you. It sounds like he's trying to make things right so you can still get the care you need." I say.

"He can never make things right. Wait, I take that back. He could turn himself in and rot in jail. Go public with it and stop making me look like a fool. Serve time so it doesn't happen to anyone else."

"I don't think it will happen to anyone else. He's obsessed with you and only you, babe. I see how he scans the room every time he walks into the cafeteria. He doesn't give any of his other patients the attention he gives you. That's what I hate. He may be trying to do right by you but he's sick. Like seriously, sick in the head." I answer. "But he's so fucking smart."

I hate that the asshole is so smart.

*****

Cara actually sits down at Julia's table during lunch which I find odd until I see the girl gazing at me. Oh God. I can only handle one Hollan in my life.

"That must be the new doctor." Julia looks towards the door and I furrow my brows at what I see. In comes this walking Ken Doll looking like a million bucks.

"Is this some kind of joke?" I scoff. "Do they only hire attractive doctors to work here or something?"

Both Cara AND Julia's eyes are on the new doctor as Jeremy Donovan shows him around. The damn asshole looks good. Like David Beckham good. And he is eyeing Julia as we speak.

I look over at Julia who is three shades redder than she was before the kid entered the cafeteria. She looks away and I start laughing.

"Why, Miss Moretti. You're blushing." I tease.

"Yeah, I am NOT having a therapy session with that guy." 

"He looks like a fucking model." I shake my head.

"Too bad. I had high hopes to get a decent doctor, too. He's too.... distracting."

"I'm sure he's a good doctor." I say right as the doctor flashes his perfect white smile while looking straight at Julia and talking to Donovan. "Yeah, no. Never mind. Don't make him your doctor, babe."

That Jesus/Jared Leto guy Mike Maloney comes and sits at the table, now rolling his eyes while looking at the new doctor.

"Christ. Is this the new doctor?" He shovels food into his mouth and rolls his eyes unimpressed. "People who look like that usually have STD's."

"Julia. I want you to meet Dr. Tremont." Jeremy introduces the doctor who puts his hand out. But Julia is not having it and shakes her head instead of his hand.

"You're wasting your time." She takes a huge bite of her sandwich. "This guy? You want me to talk to this guy? Yeah, no. Not happening, Jeremy."

Mike laughs at that.

"And this is Julia..." Jeremy shakes his head at her as the man lowers his hand. Dr. Tremont doesn't even look insulted. He just fucking smiles in a cocky manner.

"I'll be your patient, Dr. Tremont." Cara raises her hand with her little Hollan smirk.

Jeremy pays no attention to Nate's sister.

"Give me a chance, Miss Moretti." Dr. Tremont says.

"Sorry Mr. Perfect. You can't help me." She retorts. "C'mon James."

Julia cleans up from lunch and we head to the exit.

"Two pm. Miss Moretti. Looking forward to it."

"Not happening." 

This new guy doesn't stand a chance which is excellent because Julia has enough men in her life competing for her love. We don't need another! There's no competition with this walking money bags Ken Doll. He would win.  But Julia doesn't give him the time of day and I smile at that.

******