*James*

The upcoming trial is all over the news and blowing up the internet. Me, my background, my family. How they dug up shit on us is beyond me but so far nothing negative has been said about us. And... fortunately, nothing about my father has been mentioned. But reporters want to know who James Gallo is so have pretty much been stalking my friends and family. They even went as far to go to the Marriott and interview my coworkers. Both Cheryl and the cook in the back, Al, had nothing but good things to say. Handworker just trying to make ends meet and provide for his sick mother.

Right now, we are watching my uncle Mac and cousin Natalie say more positive things about me after reporters hounded Sullivan's Tap. It all ends up circling back to being Nate Hollan's friend and roommate.

"I'm like some virus and anyone who comes in contact with me gets exposed to the world." Nate turns towards me on the couch. "I'm sorry."

 "It's not your fault, Nate. You are who you are." I look away from the tv while anxiously awaiting the arrival of Addison Landry. It's just me and Nate here. Addison requested as much to avoid any distractions.

I can't help but think the worst, so my knee involuntarily bounces nervously as Nate helps me drink my coffee. My coordination has gone to shits lately with the stress I'm under.

The elevator intercom buzzes. 

"Mr. Hollan? It's Addison Landry." The voice announces from the small speaker. Nate jumps up off the couch to buzz the lawyer in.

"Here we go, Gallo." Nate inhales sharply.

In walks in the lawyer, very put together and looking like a million bucks whereas I haven't slept in over a week and look like pure crap on top of crap.

"Mr. Hollan. Nice to see you again." She throws free hand out for him to shake and then greets me the same way. 

She's kidding, right?

I can't fucking shake someone's hand! She catches on quick and puts both my trembling hands in hers to pat. "Right. Sorry, James."

And then, Addison Landry gets right to work. She takes off her suit jacket and points to me while walking towards the living room. "Right. We can use that."

Oh great. Use how I can't shake hands? How can't I shower myself or feed myself half the time? I really don't want anyone's pity. I just want this to be done with. I want my freedom is what I really want.

Addison sits down across from the couch, nodding to herself and opens her briefcase, setting out multiple folders and papers on the coffee table.

"We can use your disability to our advantage." She says while opening her laptop and making herself at home. "Coffee? Do you have any coffee, Mr. Hollan?"

"Nate, please. And yes." 

I laugh watching Nate scramble to his feet to serve her. I've never seen this before and it's comical. "Cream, sugar?"

"No. Black is fine." She then observes Nate helping me with my own coffee like we are some freak show. I had a feeling this would happen.

"That. That's what I'm talking about." She waves her pen at us. "James. You were severely injured in this accident, were you not?"

"Yes."

"Ok, this is what I am going to bring up first. You need to go with it ok? Just like we are in court right now." She stands up with her pad of paper and pen and begins pacing around.

"So, you were providing for your family by working extra hours. You got behind the wheel with Trisha Banks, after a long shift. The first thing the prosecutor is going to ask is- if you were so tired, why didn't you have Ms. Banks drive?" She pauses and looks at me. "No. sweetheart. You can't pause to think. Not for one second."

"But-" I barely have time to process her words before she is jumping all over me. It takes me a second to process things now.

"Love, look at me. If you pause to think about your answer, it means you are second guessing your answer." Addison sighs patiently.

"But I don't know the answer. I don't know why I was the one to drive. It just happened. I didn't think I was that tired, I guess." I explain truthfully.

"You guess? No, you can't say that either."

"Well, I don't know how this works! I've never been in court!" 

 Oh my GOD lady, cut me some slack! Addison stops pacing and looks me dead in the eye.

"You can't have an outburst like that either."

I drop my head in my hands. This is not going to be easy.

********

*Trisha*

"Are you sure you're, ok?" Casey asks while we sit at the dog park to let Maggie run around. Jonah sips his Starbucks coffee and says nothing but they both know I'm wound up tight this morning.

"I'm just really nervous for James. None of this should have happened. Case, I should have driven."

"No, don't go down that hole, Trisha." Jonah enters the conversation. "You can't think like that. You WILL drive yourself crazy." He pauses. "Did I ever tell you how I got this scar on my chest?" He pulls down the collar of his shirt just a little.  I shake my head no because I didn't want to ever ask him about it. I've only seen him without a shirt once or twice. Jonah then tells me this story about being completely wasted and falling into a firepit in college.

"It was awful. Nate says I look like a rotisserie chicken." He laughs a little.

"Figures. He'd say something like that." I roll my eyes.

"Anyway, you know how many times I played the 'what-if' game? What if I didn't drink so much? What if I didn't go near that fire? What if I didn't go to the party at all? I drove myself crazy for a long time. But you know what? Now it doesn't bother me. It's my reminder of why I never want to touch a drop of alcohol again. You can spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for things that happen. What if I drove. What if we didn't get in the car at all. It's not going to change the outcome."

Both me and Casey nod at Jonah's good advice. 

"There's no way James can go to prison. Not with his disability. Who the hell is this Nadine Jones anyway? She waited all these months to come forward. There wasn't even a service for her uncle or anything for people to pay their respects. Who does that!?" I blurt out, letting my emotions get the best of me.

"I don't know. But it sounds like you guys hired a really good lawyer. I heard she's the best." Casey leans down to give Maggie a treat while talking.

"Could you imagine what this is going to do to Moretti?" I continue.

"Trish. Stop talking like he's already been sentenced. Let's try and stay positive, ok?" Jonah gives me a slight pat on my shoulder.

I just don't have a good feeling about this trial.

******

*James*

"Well, this might be the case to lose for Ms. Landry. Malcolm Jones's niece, Nadine Jones, has also hired one of L.A. finest lawyers, Colton West. Colton may not be a celebrity lawyer but has only lost two cases in his 15-year career. This isn't a simple traffic violation. Someone's life was taken." We watch two reporters go live and I get a pit in my stomach at the publicity this trial is drawing in.

"Let the battles begin. Reporting round the clock live coverage on the Jones vs. Gallo reckless driving Trial. Back to you, Sal."

"Shit." Addison mutters under her breathe and mutes the television again.

"We have our work cut out for us, sir." She expresses her concern.

"She hired Colton West. For someone who says she's tight on money, how the hell is she affording Colton West?" Nate raises a brow at the lawyer. She bows her head for a moment before responding.

"I have a feeling Colton went to Nadine Jones for this case, not the other way around."

"Why??" I ask.

"Publicity. This is Nate Hollan we're talking about." She answers.

"But 'Nate Hollan' isn't the one on trial." I squint my eyes at her. There's something more to this, isn't there? This is more than my trial.

"Listen. Colton West has been on my ass for years, ok? We have always butted heads, and he wants this case to break my winning streak."

"Winning streak!! This is my fucking life!"  I belt out and stand up. I knew I had a bad feeling about this!! Oh my gosh this is all about winners and losers. "This isn't some damn game."

"To Colton it is, James. And he will do anything to win. The only two trials Colton has lost were trials against me. I was the representative for both of those cases. I won them both and I will win this one." Addison assures me.

This isn't a God damn game here.

"Let's get back to work." Addison continues grooming me for court but it's useless.  I've had enough. All I keep thinking about is how Addison and Colton have some underlying beef with each other that is going to affect my case. I'm tired, stressed out, now stumbling and stuttering with my words. I'm done.

"James. Do you want to keep going or are you done for today?" Nate asks me but the lawyer gives him a dirty look.

"Nate..." Addison stops him.

"James..."

I look over at Nate and give him a slight nod.

"I'm done."

"Ok." Nate understands and I head to my room. I can still hear them loud and clear as I pace my room with tear filled eyes.

"Nate, we don't have time for this." 

"You want to use his disability to help your case? Then fucking use it. You see him struggling more and more throughout the meeting, do you not? I don't pay you to push him to the point he'll have another seizure, that's for damn sure. You can see yourself out."

Shit. Hollan's temper got the best of him. I don't dare come out of my room now. I don't want to deal with the lawyer myself. I hear her pack up her stuff and leave without another word before I open my door. 

This is all one big disaster.

*****

"Oh my God, please tell me you're joking, Nate." Trisha is anything but pleased while cooking dinner and hearing about Nate's tantrum with the lawyer. "You told her to show herself out?! Nate! You can't be doing this shit!"

"Alright, alright. Jesus. I'll fix it. You make me want to drink you know that doll face?" 

"This isn't about you. This is about him!" She points the spoon my way. I'm lying on the couch with my dog trying not to think about shit while these two battle it out.

"Fine. Schedule a meeting with her. Coffee or something casual for tomorrow. I'll go apologize, happy?"

"Not till you fix it, playboy." Trisha pulls out the baked chicken and begins plating it for everyone. None of us have seen Paul lately. He's been spending more time at the Avalon to watch over Julia. So, it's just Trisha, Nate, myself, Casey and Jonah. Everyone grabs their plates and heads to the dining room table to eat.

Everyone but me.

*****

*Trisha*

After cutting up James's food for him I let out a sigh when he doesn't get off the couch. I walk over and sit on the edge of the couch, raking my fingers through his hair.

"C'mon sweetie, you need to eat."

"I'm really not hungry." He doesn't budge. I lean over and kiss his lips, but he doesn't kiss me back or even pucker his lips a little.  James is falling deeper into depression over this trial, and I don't know how to deal with it. He's usually so outgoing, carefree and funny. I'm not used to this side of James and question where we stand in our relationship, if there is on. As it is, I've been sleeping on his couch instead of in his bed with him. By the time I get to bed, Maggie has already taken my place. She's a good therapy dog but it kind of stinks he wants his dog to cuddle with over his girlfriend. I try not to read into it too much since he is going through a lot right now.

I also don't force James to eat. He's a grown adult man. If he isn't hungry, he isn't hungry. But I know depression is playing a part in this.

"I'm really tired. Can you just help me get ready for bed?" He mumbles. It's not even eight o'clock yet. James just doesn't want to be around people.

"Of course." I pull him up and we head to his room. I can feel Nate's eyes on me though. 

James is extra clumsy tonight, and I have to help him more than usual with getting undressed, brushing his teeth and stuff. I pull the covers of his bed down and he climbs in but turns to his side facing away from me.

"Are we ok?" I comb my fingers through his hair as he shuts his eyes.

"Yeah, just really tired."

"Ok." I kiss his cheek, and Maggie jumps up on to the bed, taking my spot once again.

"Is Gallo fine?" Nate asks when I sit down at the table. I shrug and start eating dinner.

"He said he's just really tired." I answer.

"Are YOU ok?" Nate takes my hand.

"Yeah. I'm ok."

I'm also a great liar because I am anything but ok right now.

******

It's another day and another day I'm going to end Nate's life. For good this time.

In fact, I'm going to kill Hollan. Murder him.

 Nate and Evan walk in this afternoon from his meeting with the lawyer to mend things. Come to find out his attitude got in the way yet AGAIN!

"You walked out? You fucking walked out? Seriously?" I glare at Nate after he tells me the story.

"It was epic." Evan chimes in.

"Shut up, Evan." Nate rolls his eyes at his bodyguard.

"Yes, sir." Scofield is still smiling stupid behind that perfectly groomed beard of his, making me laugh.

"God, maybe you should have been a lawyer, Nate." I shake my head at the big dope.

"I needed to put a fire under her, ok? This isn't some game. If this becomes dirty because her and Colton are at each other's throat, I will go public with it all and look for someone clean. We can't risk it."

Nate looks around the room. "Where is James, anyway?"

Jonah and Casey are watching a movie on the living room couch while I join Evan at the kitchen island with a cup of tea. Paul is.... probably at the Avalon again or something. Who knows.

"In bed." Casey says in a sad manner. "He wouldn't cooperate and got all worked up."

"Did you offer to take him to see Julia?"

"Didn't work this time." Jonah replies. "He's falling deeper into depression because of this. It's all over the news. He can't get away and it is real to him now. Real and approaching fast."

"Nate, he can't go to jail." I blurt out, feeling completely useless when it comes to James.

"I know. Jesus Christ! You don't think I know?!" Nate grabs his chest for a second before calming himself down. "I know, ok? I'm trying my hardest, guys."

"Try harder!"  I burst into tears letting my emotions take over, and walk to my room, slamming the door behind me.

******

*James*

"I really don't feel like a movie. Is that fine, Gwen?" I try to sound upbeat, but I really just want to go back to bed.

"No problem. I get it. What would you like to do?" She keeps her eyes on the road while talking to me.

"Can we just go to Uncle Mac's for a drink? I b-bet there's a football game on or something."

"Sure."

We pull into Sullivan's Tap and Gwen helps me unbuckle. The minute we enter the tavern both my uncle and cousins all bombard me for a quick second, saying hello and how they are thinking of me. I give em all a quick nod and end to the far end of the bar.

"Anything you want, Jamie. You know it's on me. I just took out a plate of nacho's that have your name on em, son." My uncle pats my shoulder before walking around to the other side of the bar. Before I have a chance to say anything there's a mug of beer and shot of whiskey in front of me.  Natalie gives me a little nod, knowing that's just what I need today.

Gwen doesn't really drink much but ordered one glass of white wine. She had to help me hold my shot while I downed it, and once she positioned my hand around my beer, I didn't let go until it was gone.

There were no sports on. No not today. The only thing showing on any of the TV's was news about the upcoming trial.  Mac dries a glass and looks over to see my face on the screen, then shakes his head.

"They've got it all wrong." He pours me another glass of whiskey. Then another. And another.

"Slow your roll, bro. You're way too heavy for me to carry out of here." Gwen laughs but then studies me for a second. "How is your coordination getting BETTER with each drink???"

"It's just the way it is." I mutter and down a shot without any help from my sister. My hands work fine. My speech is perfect. I'm drunk as a skunk, but my body looks completely sober. No one can explain it. Not even my neurologist.

"Maybe we should slow down a little, Jamie." I hear my sister say but then get a phone call. "Be right back. Don't go anywhere. I mean it."

"Not planning to." I sigh and watch the news.

"Jamie. You hanging in there?" Mac cleans up the plate of nachos in front of me and gives me a sympathetic look.

"You know who belongs in prison? People like Joe. Not people like me. You know I've never even stepped foot into a courtroom before? Never mind a jailhouse. How do people like my father walk around free and I'm facing criminal charges for a traffic violation?"

"The system is so flawed, son." Mac shakes his head and pours me another drink.  Gwen comes back over, looking a little frazzled.

"Hey. We may need to wrap it up. I guess ma is trying to do her own laundry and giving Jennie a hard time. She already refused to take her pills this morning because it was me there to give them to her so I have to go do that now."

"Just leave me here."

"James, no. I'm not just leaving you here." Gwen pouts and drops her shoulders. "C'mon. I'll drop you off at home."

"No, really. Look at me. I'm fine. Uncle Nate can call me an uber later or something." I assure my sister I'm fine and to go take care of my mother but she's not having it.

"Jamie..."

"Gwen. Go."

My sister huffs but walks away, leaving me at the bar to continue my binge drinking party for one. A good fifteen or so minutes go by when I realize Gwen didn't just leave me like I thought. No. She called fucking Hollan to come retrieve me. I see him looking around from the doorway, so I knock another one back and turn my eyes back to the TV.

Once Nate spots me he rushes over.

"Let's go, Mate." He takes my now empty shot glass out of my hand.

"You can't be in here, Hollan." I look up at my own face on TV and shake my head.

"I know. So let's go."

"I'm not done."

"You're done, Gallo. C'mon. I have to go to The Avalon and drop clothes off to Julia. Let's go." He throws down a hundred-dollar bill on the counter for Mac and I laugh at that.

"My drinks are free. He's my uncle."

"Yeah, that's to pay him for babysitting you. C'mon. Seriously. I can't be in here."  Nate's voice cracks a little, and I finally make eye contact. His eyes dart around the room from the whiskey bottles to me while sweat forms on his forehead. Shit. He really can't be in here. I nod, now seeing how this is affecting him and follow Nate to the exit.

"Nice seeing you, Nate." Natalie winks and I roll my eyes at my cousin.

 Once we are outside, Nate bends over and drops his hands to his knees, trying to suck in as much fresh air as possible.

Jonah gets out of the car and pats his back.

"Deep breaths, brother. You're ok."

Wow. Nate actually walking into the bar and out and stayed sober the whole time. Meanwhile I feel like I'm ready to pass out even though I can now walk in a straight line, open the car door myself and buckle myself in.

"I just don't get it, brother. I just don't." Jonah watches me in astonishment. 

I don't get a lot of things right now pal....

*****

*Trisha*

"You smell like a damn liquor store." I watch James take off his clothes without fumbling once and turn on the shower. "Jesus, hot stuff. How?!?"

"Nobody knows. You joining me or am I on my own here?" James eyes me. God he is so drunk. But sexy as all hell right now. Of course I'm joining him.

"I didn't know if you wanted me to." I begin to get undressed while watching him step into the shower and grab the soap. "I never know what you want lately, James." I admit.

"Right now I want you in here so I can fuck you up against this shower wall. Now get undressed." He demands and his voice is much lower than what I'm used to. His eyes are filled with lust and his body is clearly showing me he wants me.  I nod, now being the one to fumble with my clothes and James chuckles.

But that little laugh fades away quickly once I step into the shower.

James wasn't kidding. He did exactly what he said he was going to do. Over and over again. I'll be surprised if I can walk tomorrow morning.

*****