*James*

Here's the thing with Julia.

She means well. She really does.  Julia takes care of everyone around her. The problem here is- she doesn't do the same for herself.

  Julia doesn't attend the sessions here; she doesn't go to individual therapy appointments and is barely a part of the Avalon community. She has no friends here. Only enemies. But Julia doesn't try or make an effort. She'd be a great mentor to so many people if she'd just care for herself first. 

If only Julia would go to the sessions, learn some coping skills so she can heal a little more, then she could help others. She could mentor younger women. Like Cara. Instead, she puts ALL her focus on physically caring for other people. Me, Mike, Nate, anyone detoxing or in need.

And it's really hard to get Julia to change her ways. So, I'm not surprised today isn't a great day for her. But it's an exceptionally bad day for my best friend.

While sitting outside in the backyard with Jonah, Paul comes out.  He's agitated to the max and begins pacing like a lion in a cage.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Julia. The damn girl doesn't listen." Paul begins, and both me and Jonah laugh and laugh and laugh.....

"I'm serious, guys. I had to take a fucking piss so told her to wait in Mike Maloney's room. You know, the OTHER bodyguard." Paul is seriously disturbed, so Jonah and I no longer joke.

"She was pissed off at Jeremy for firing some nurse and took it upon herself to leave the room, march down the hall and blow up. I think it was one of her episodes." Paul looks to Jonah.

"Sounds like it." Jonah replies.

"Well, she grabbed Donovan and took him into an empty room. I don't know what the hell she said or did-"

"Wait. Julia was alone with Jeremy in an empty room??" I interrupt and Paul takes a deep inhale before nodding. That's why he's all wound up. Julia's fucking playing with fire. She's getting too comfortable with Dr. Donovan.

"She got mad at him, and it triggered something in him, whatever shit is wrong with him. When I finally found her, she was shaking like a leaf."

"Oh my God. Did he do something?" I don't mean to interrupt again and try to contain my emotion. I can tell Jonah is doing the same.

"No, thank God. But he could have!"

Paul is beside himself over this. This brings up a lot of shit for him too. He was there when Julia got raped. He saw it with his own eyes. So, I'm sure seeing Jeremy have whatever episode he had towards Julia brought that all up again. 

"She somehow talked him off the ledge and got him out of it but she was a mess after. Then I got mad at her. I don't know what to do with that girl if she won't listen to me as her bodyguard!" 

He drags his hands down his face, clearly frustrated with the day. With Julia. With everything. He leaves us to digest all this information and goes back inside. I decide maybe it's a good idea to go inside as well. Talk to Julia for myself. Maybe I can get through to her a little. I walk back into the house and sit down to think of what I want to say.  Paul is in the bedroom with Julia now so I wait. Detoxing Nate is sitting up wondering what the hell is happening.

"What did Paul say??" Nate asks.

"She's playing with fire. She's gonna get herself hurt. I thought we were done worrying about this shit."

"I have no clue what you're saying, Gallo."

Jonah walks in to join us and we continue on.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is happening right now?!"

"She never should have left that room." Jonah says to himself.

"Oh my God people..." Nate mutters. "What happened?"

We can hear Paul and Julia bickering but muffled without understanding any real words since the door is closed.

"Sounds like she pushed Donovan's buttons too far while in a manic episode." Jonah stares down the hall while talking. 

"What do you mean she pushed his buttons too far, Jonah? Did Jeremy do something to her??" The panic in Nate's voice is heard from both me and Jonah.

"No but he could have. She triggered him into one of his own episodes. Julia's may make her become violent to herself and objects around her, but Jeremy is violent towards people around him. She set him off."

Nate bolts up. "What did he do to her? Where the FUCK was Rossi?"

"That's what they are fighting about. This is Julia's mistake not Paul's, Nate."  I make sure Nate knows this is NOT a mistake Paul made.

"Was she or was she not left alone in the Avalon somewhere?" Nate snaps at me.

"He was taking a friggen piss. She was told to stay with Mike in his room. You know, the OTHER bodyguard. Julia took it upon herself to go d-down the hall and grab Jeremy. She took him into an empty room yelling at him over something. Sh- she got into his space and set him off. This wasn't Paul. This was Julia being Julia." I explain.

"What the hell was she thinking?!!"  Nate bursts and we can tell he felt a sharp pain in his chest by the way he winces.

"Is she EVER thinking while in a manic episode??" Jonah chimes in.

"I thought we were over this stuff. I thought once she was-"

"Nate, I said this the other day- just because she is getting healthier doesn't mean her bipolar is magically healed. Every day... every hour... will still be different with her moods. She just may be able to think a little clearer during it. Maybe eventually she'll learn coping skills and healthy ways to stay balanced. That's shit you learn in talk therapy. Medicine won't teach you that."

"Well, she doesn't take advantage of the sessions here. She puts her time and energy into taking care of other people before herself." I furrow my brows.

"That needs to change. If she can't do both.... if she is using people to get out of going to these sessions to better herself then being at the Avalon is pointless for Julia. If she doesn't start going to sessions and learning different techniques to help herself then she should stop helping others with their issues and focus on her and her alone."

"Good luck with that, Jonah Marshall." Nate laughs, full of sarcasm. "Julia thrives off helping others. It gives her a purpose. A reason to live. A reason to keep breathing. You take that away from her it's all downhill."

"There needs to be balance." Jonah pauses.

"Regardless, I'm still team Nate, sorry James." Jonah says. Team Nate? What the fuck does that mean? "Paul is second guessing mixing work with play. She's too much of a distraction even though she's also his job to protect."

I don't get a chance to ask about "teams" because all three of us hear Julia wail. Both Jonah and Nate head to the bedroom while I drop my head in my hands. 

Julia is shutting down.

*******

*Trisha*

"Why even have a phone if you're not going to answer it!!" I shove my phone back in my purse, now getting frustrated with Nate. I'm out here running all his shit errands and he's not giving me the time of day. That or, Julia is causing trouble or something stupid that is taking up Nate's time.

"So what are you going to do?" Evan asks me while leisurely sitting back on the couch while I'm pacing Nate's studio room. Iheart Radio agreed to push Nate's interview a few days, but I can't give them an answer until I know that is fine with Nate. I really don't think he is going to need two full weeks to detox.  Maybe tack on a few more days but after that he should be good to go.

"Nothing, I guess. I'm a sitting duck until he responds." I close my laptop in frustration.

"You really do everything for him, don't you?"

"He'd have me wiping his ass if he could." I joke and get a hearty laugh out of the bodyguard.

"Maybe we should go to the Avalon to see if everything is ok?"

I glance over at Evan then sit down on the couch next to him and drop my head back to lean against the couch.

"No. I hate it there."

"Why is that? That lady's apartment is really nice. It doesn't feel like part of the facility at all."

"It's still a hospital. And God, it's still Julia. I can only handle so much of her." I admit.

I know it sounds bad but it's true. I can handle Moretti in small increments but that's it. When we both lived in Nate's apartment together, we were at each other constantly. We are just two very different people with very different lifestyles and goals. The only thing we have in common is our love for Nate. If she even has that still now that she's with Paul. God, we've even slept with the same men. 

I close my eyes and try not to think about that fun fact.

"You REALLY don't like her, do you?" Evan asks seriously.

"It's not that I don't like her. She's just... a lot. She's not self-sufficient in any way shape or form. She's not a go-getter, sets no goals for herself, just lives moment to moment."

"Kinda sounds like you just described Nate." He laughs. 

Did I? Is Julia more compatible with Nate than I originally thought? Because after Evan pointed that out, it's true. God, she is JUST like Nate. Though, I consider Nate a go-getter when it comes to his career. You get that man up on stage and he is the happiest man in the world. He loves the interviews, the studio sessions, traveling on tour, the fans, the Meet & Greets, the spotlight. All of it. 

He's an entertainer at heart.

Julia takes him away from what he loves. Constantly. She sucks the life out of Nate. Emotionally, physically, and when it comes to his career. He fucking shortened his tour because of her. Something he has been planning for over two years for someone he has barely even known for a few months. And now look, she's not even with him. 

I take that back. They are NOT compatible at all.

******

*James*

I stay out of the way and let Jonah, Paul and Nate handle Julia. She's obviously not well right now and shutting down on everyone. Whatever is going on in that room sounds overly stressful and I don't want any part of it. I stay in the living room and keep Maggie calm. Poor dog hates the yelling. Fortunately, with the bedroom door closed, it's muffled.

But I'm the only one in the living room so when someone knocks on the damn Avalon door, I can't open it with my coordination being off.

"Um guys?" I yell through the apartment.  "Someone's at the door and James can't open doors." 

Nate hears me and comes to help. He opens the door and to my surprise, when I see Jeremy in the doorway, I also see his red swollen eyes. The guy has been crying. Whawtever happened between him and Julia today was big. What I don't quite understand is the fact Jeremy is holding the first aid box. Did Julia hurt someone? Herself?

"Bedroom." Nate mutters and my stomach drops.

"What's going on??" I try not to think the worst.

"Julia popped a few stitches out, that's all." Nate sighs.

Oh thank God. Something minor but I don't even want to know how she did that. She must have hit a wall or pushed someone or something. Julia really does need so much healing.

While sitting on the couch I close my eyes and silently pray for my best friend. Because something's gotta give with her. She's so fucking stubborn but she needs more help than she is getting and it's her own damn fault. Maybe she needs to be forced to go to the sessions, I don't know, but something has to change. I want to see her heal and thrive and grow while she's here. She's not doing any of that. 

I pray for a good amount of time before there's another knock on the door. Nate hears it right away and comes out to answer the door. Paul is usually the one to always answer the door, being Nate and Julia's bodyguard, but he must have his hands full with whatever is going on with Julia in the bedroom.

Trevor stands in the doorway, ready to bring me to the next session. When he sees the distraught look on my face he knows it's not a good day. 

"What is it, James?"

"Julia. She's having a hard time right now." I don't get into details but tell the therapist the jist of it. I swear Trevor has been more my therapist than Julia's lately. She doesn't give him the time of day.

"Oh man." His face saddens. "I really wish she'd be open to sit down and talk to me. She could use a good counseling session. And Jeremy....I don't know. He keeps to himself or talks to Dr. Cohen but I know he has some mental illnesses of his own that he needs to deal with. He doesn't tell me much though."

Both Trevor and I are on the same page. And both of us are equally surprised when we see Jeremy, Paul and Julia follow us out to go to the session. They talked her into joining us??  It's like someone up there was listening to me after all... 

We walk down to the foyer silently. Julia looks to be really upset but doesn't say two words to anyone, like she didn't make this decision herself. Maybe Jeremy told her she had to go. I'm not sure but I do make sure when we get into the room, I sit right next to my best friend. She may not be willing to talk at the moment, but she made it here to a session and for Julia, that's a huge first step. Especially just after coming out of one of her meltdowns.

Trevor sits on the other side of Julia, still trying to win her over and gain her trust as a counselor. And Jeremy sits behind Julia to give her the space she needs from him. Paul has to wait outside because this is a group session.

And it was a PERFECT session for Julia to attend. She might not agree but it was. The speaker is talking about things that Julia personally goes through. Eating disorders being one of them. I'm sure everything is hard for Julia to hear. I can tell it is because at one point, I notice Julia sulk down in her chair a little. Her eyes are filled with tears. 

I don't point it out but do touch my pinky finger to hers and she links them together. Just to let her know I'm right here with her. She's not hearing this alone. She's not IN this alone.

At one point I could tell the speaker struck a sore spot on Julia. She's talking about how we tend to compare ourselves to others. Maybe thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Or how sometimes we think others are better than us. I KNOW Julia does this. Hell, she does it with Trisha constantly. She thinks so highly of Trisha. Puts her on a pedestal, wishing she could be like her and as put together as Trisha. But Trish isn't perfect. She's human with flaws just like the rest of us.

By the end of the session Julia is full on silent crying while sitting frozen in her chair, even after the meeting is dismissed. 

"I hate you all."  Julia mutters and I can't help but crack up a little. I squeeze her good hand that I've been holding the entire session.

"It was like God knew you were coming." I smirk and nudge Julia a little before we head out. 

Jeremy and Trevor go their separate ways from us since I'm walking back with Julia and Paul and not alone. But during our walk to the apartment Julia is silent. Paul is silent. Whatever is going on between them, I'm not sure, nor is it my place to ask. But waters are rocky right now and they JUST started dating.

Once back at the apartment I notice Jonah is no longer here. It's just Nate. Nate and his detoxing self. Paul walks out to the backyard without saying a word. Julia walks to her bedroom in silence as well. 

I shrug and plop down on the recliner. Mags jumps right up on my lap wanting attention.

"Sooo... are they broken up or something already?" Nate cocks a brow at me.

"No clue." I try to say but Maggie is licking my cheek making me scrunch up my face. "But I'm glad Julia was forced to go because today's topic was on eating disorders and how to retrain your brain when you start comparing yourself to others. Which I KNOW Julia does. She does it with Trisha all the time."

"That's because Trisha's a bitch to her. She looks at Julia as a threat to not only my career but my health and there is no talking Trisha into thinking otherwise." Nate scoffs. Glad I'm not the only one who sees this, but I would NEVER say it out loud or call Trisha out on it.

"I know..." I sigh and we stay silent for a few minutes before I need to ask the question of the day. "Are there seriously teams? Team Nate, Team James? You guys like what...put money on it or something?"

Nate cackles.

"No. We'd all be broke the way Julia bounces from one team to the next."

"So does that mean there's a Team Paul now?" I look outside at Paul sitting on a patio chair alone.

"Not if I can help it." Nate is still in the game.

He's like me, unable to give up hope that Julia will someday choose him. He had her for some time, though. He fucked it up. He didn't give Julia the attention she deserved. Nate took Julia for granted and now he is kicking himself in the rear because he lost her. And he lost her to someone who is a step above him. In every aspect of life. I don't know about financially but do know Paul is well off. But Paul can give Julia all the things Nate can't, and you just can't buy that shit. You can't buy stability. Nate thought he was the only one who could take care of Julia. Lord knows, I can't and that knocked me out of the race. But now Nate is realizing Paul can also take care of Julia.

But can he? Because they already seem so distant from each other at the moment.

Julia walks out of her room, bypasses the two of us and heads outside to Paul. We watch her drag a chair over to sit right across from Paul and take his hand. Whatever happened, Julia is trying to make amends. She's not giving up yet.

"Yeah.... I wouldn't be so sure of that. Doesn't look like he's disqualified yet."  I watch for a moment as Julia takes Paul's hand up to her lips and kiss his knuckles. Both Nate and I look away.

Nope. She's definitely NOT giving up.

******