*Trisha*

I feel like things are slowly getting back to normal. I smile over at Nate as he tries on his Savile Row suit for the Grammy's. His tailor, Mr. Rolston, measures him while we chat.

"It's perfect!" I exclaim. Nate looks amazing in this suit but has yet to crack a smile. He's all hung up on Julia not being his date to the awards.

"I really think Jules would be fine for one night. She'd have so much fun." 

"Nate. She's at The Avalon. Full time. You know she can't." I say as I fix the collar of his dress shirt.

"Jeremy would let her. She has him wrapped around her fingers."  Nate lifts his chin so I can button the shirt while we talk.

"Yeah, you really want to be asking that man for favors? I will never understand how you guys even let him in the same room as her. One of these days, you're gonna pet the dog, and he's gonna bite you back."

"That's why I have Paul. Let Julia milk Jeremy for all he's worth. Take advantage of him because no one else there will bend over backward for her like he will."

"Again. Playing with fire, Hollan."

"All set, sir." Mr. Rolston stands up, smiles, and flamboyantly claps at his own work. The suit fits like a glove. It really is perfect.

"You're next, Miss Banks." He gives me a little nod and I leave to change into my dress. I slide into the gorgeous Schiaparelli gold draped sleeveless corset gown that has a huge high leg slit and a train. Matching diamond earrings, tennis bracelet and choker. Like Nate's attire, it fits like a glove. I strap on the 6-inch-high stilettos and make my way out to the mirror.

"Stunning, mademoiselle!" Mr. Rolston clasps his hands together and gets to work on measurements for tailoring. Nate is already out of his suit and back into his purple pants and black polo shirt.

"You look beautiful, Trish." Nate kisses my cheek, and I feel heat rise to my face. I look and feel like a princess. "Who will be your plus one?"

"Originally I thought James would have fun since he's never been to anything like this.... but..." I frown thinking about his house arrest that prevents him from attending the event now. "Maybe Paul if Evan can stay with Julia."

I'm keeping Paul my little secret right now, but I did originally plan on James just as friends. It's always fun to dress up and go to these big award shows. To be honest, I'm just happy to be going. Nate is up for a handful of awards, and I think he is going to add a few Grammy trophies to his shelf this year.

I turn to the side like the tailor wants and happen to rest a hand on my stomach with a slight, unnoticed frown.

If I hadn't miscarried, I'd have a Nate Hollan baby bump by now.

****

Per usual I'd rather get dropped off at home or put a bullet in my head over going to the Avalon, so Ren drops me and Evan off before heading back out.

"You really don't like going there, do you?" Evan kicks off his sneakers and plops down next to me on the couch while I flip through the channels on TV. He feels at home here now which is nice because he will be here for a while.

"The Avalon? Yeah um, no thanks hotpants."

"The lady's place is really nice though. That apartment."

"Still a mental hospital."

"You don't like her much, do you?" Evan laughs.

"Who? Julia? I like her just fine."

"Could have fooled me. You never go visit her."

"Listen. She's fine, ok? She's just.... a lot. That's all." I stare at the TV instead of the bodyguard but can feel his eyes glued to me. Evan wants more from me. I put the remote down and turn to him now.

"Fine. I don't think she is good for Nate, happy? She drags him down."

"Because of her mental illness?"

"No, because she's fucking Julia! Right from the start they weren't a winning combination. She had him break his NBC contract when she reeled him in and they started a relationship and from there on out it has been one dramatic thing after another. His heart can only handle so much. It can't handle her."

"He seems to be doing just fine." Evan shrugs.

"Yeah, well you would be saying something different if you were here from the very beginning."

She's just.... a mess. There is no other way to describe Julia. I've tried, probably not hard enough but we will never be besties. We are two completely different women.  And there's nothing wrong with that. I don't have to be friends with every woman Nate dates but this is now going too far. He thinks he's gonna marry her? It's just not going to work. He was better off with Macy to be honest.  

I wish Nate could see the bad decisions he makes before he makes them.

*****

*James*

"Maybe go out to the garden for some fresh air? It could help." Jeremy suggests but Julia isn't having it. She's been in bed all morning and plans to stay in bed. We can't seem to get her out of her funk today.

"Nate just texted," Paul says to me as I sit on the chair and pet Mags.

"He'll be here in about an hour. Maybe he can get her out of bed today." Paul continues and gives me a look like I need to do something. I nod.

"Babe, can you at least help me with lunch?" I ask.

"Of course." Julia gets right out of bed without hesitation. I knew that would work. We all follow Julia out of her room and I give Paul a little wink. Damn Donovan isn't leaving though.

"What would you like? A sandwich or I can make you some pasta or-"

"Sandwich is fine. Thank you." I sit down at the kitchen table.

"Paul?" Julia offers to make him lunch too. This is what she loves. Taking care of people. Even with the little things. She feels useful. Paul nods and grabs his newspaper.

I glance at Jeremy who is looking down at his pager. Good. He'll be leaving soon. The only time that guy leaves is if another patient needs him.

"Shit." He mutters to himself, catching our attention a little more. "I've gotta go. Cara's having a day today..." Jeremy looks to Paul. "Write down what she eats please."

Paul gives the doctor a slight nod, not giving him the satisfaction of actual words, and Jeremy rushes out of my apartment.

"God, can we just get his pager info so we can randomly page him to get him out of here?" I roll my eyes while making everyone's lunches.

"I love that you have this apartment, babe. But I hate that he's the one who gave it to you."

Nate and Jonah come in for a visit and he kisses her on the lips. I roll my eyes but he just laughs now.

"Hey, Darlin'."

He then places a bag in front of me and begins taking out the familiar contents.  My favorite devotionals. "Your sister Gwen stopped by this morning with some of your devotionals and shit from your house. She said these two were your favorite?"

"They are!" My eyes light up when I see them. Gwen is trying really hard here. She has done nothing wrong either but she's our little peacemaker. 

"I think Gwen is trying to make amends and apologize for her sisters." Nate says.

I glide my hand over one specific book and memories flood my mind.

"My mom gave me this one when Carter was born," I look at the book. "Before she lost her marbles from dementia."

"I can help you with it after you eat if you like." Nate offers and I genuinely appreciate that.

"You guys staying here for a bit?" Paul interrupts.

"Go. Goodbye." Nate waves him off and Julia laughs a little.

"K, bye." He doesn't waste another second and leaves.

"They scheduled my sleep study for tomorrow night," Julia announces while helping me hold my sandwich. 

"Oh. Ok. Can someone stay with you?" Nate asks.

"They don't usually permit other people to go." Jonah chimes in.

"Yeah, the technician said I go alone. But it's right upstairs and there will be nurses there and stuff, so I'm not worried about a bodyguard if that's what you're implying."

"Are you ok with going alone though, Jule?"

"So long as Jeremy isn't there I will be just fine."

"Ok doll, just making sure." 

 There's a knock on the Avalon door, and Jonah answers it for us with a mouthful of food. Fucking Donovan. AGAIN. But he looks pissed today.

"Did you forget?" Jeremy walks in but glares at Julia. She crosses her arms and squints her eyes at him.

"I'm busy. James needs to finish eating."

"You're gonna piss him off, Julia."

Piss who off? 

"You know," Jeremy leans against the wall and continues watching Julia help me. "You keep saying you want to get better, but I'm starting to think you just say that to shut everyone up."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Julia says sarcastically.

"Did you know I hired this doctor specifically for you? I could have hired anyone. But I did my research. I wanted someone to replace Melanie, but it wasn't going to be just any doctor. I wanted the best. I wanted someone that would take you seriously. But you don't fucking take yourself seriously, do you?"

"Jule. What's going on? " Nate asks but is glaring at the doctor. As a matter of fact, so am I. Who does he think he is yelling at his patient like this. The guy off his meds or something?

"Nothing. I missed an appointment. Big deal. I was tired and didn't feel good."

"We're ALL tired and don't feel good! Why the hell do you think we're here, Julia!" Jeremy snaps. 

"Alright, you need to calm down," I warn Jeremy to reel it in.

"This is your second appointment you blew off with Trevor Tremont." Jeremy pays no attention to   anyone in the room. His eyes are solely on Julia right now.

"And... your point?" Julia snaps back.

"My point? Julia, this guy uprooted his whole life to come here. Just for YOU." He points at her. "Aside from me- Trevor is the ONLY one who can help you. You don't trust me so I thought, hey, what the heck, maybe she'll trust this guy? Then she can still get the proper treatment."

"He can't help me, Jeremy." Julia begins to clean up the dishes from the table to busy herself now.

"I hired him FOR you."

I stare at Jeremy for a moment, now not knowing what the hell is going on. This is more than Julia missing some therapy appointment.

"What do you mean you hired him for her?" Nate peers at the doctor. Jeremy takes a deep breath and shakes his head.

"It took me forever to find him. Forever. And when I did, I had to practically BEG the guy to work here. For you. He has no other patients."

"WHAT?!" Julia bursts as Jeremy walks over to the table.

"Julia. Trevor Tremont is the best of the best. He left his practice on the East Coast for this."

"For WHAT?"

"For YOU. To help YOU and only YOU. But you keep blowing him off. You have two options Julia and only two. You have ME and you have TREVOR. That's it! Nobody else is going to take you on as a patient. Not with all the shit you have. Do you know why? Because they know they will fail you, that's why. So, it's easier for them to just keep you doped up and not deal with the problem. Is THAT what you want? Just like after the accident when you were in the hospital. Just like how Dr. Prade doped you up 24/7 instead of dealing with you. Instead of getting to the root of the problem. Is that how you want to live your life? Because me and Trevor... we're trying to fix the problem not ignore it!"

"You REALLY need to calm down." I stand up now and feel the tension in my jaw. He needs to lower his voice before I throat punch the kid so he doesn't have a voice. Jeremy takes his glasses off and rubs the tension between his eyes

"Why the hell would you go out of your way to hire this guy for ONE patient. That doesn't even make sense Jeremy." Nate asks now.

"I searched for so long. I didn't think I would find him. To be honest, I didn't think he'd leave his practice and actually fucking move here." Jeremy is still rambling on. "He was the only other one, aside from me, that was making progress with these mental health issues."

"Donovan. WHY did you hire this guy JUST for Julia?" Now it's Nate's turn to get pissed. No one knows what Jeremy is talking about.

Jeremy huffs but looks at Julia.

"You have the winning combination right here. Me and Trevor - working together. No one else is invested like we are. And you're blowing your chance. You're gonna screw it up if you don't take it seriously. You're screwing yourself, Julia."

"Jeremy," Nate says in a bit of a bolder tone.

"Jesus Christ." Jeremy throws his hands up in the air. "Fine."

We watch him pull out a chair at the kitchen table and sit down. He loosens his tie and looks me dead in the eyes.

"He was one of Eric Furgeson's doctors."

*******

*Trisha*

"Well look who the cat dragged in." I smile up at Paul who comes in with two pizza boxes.

"I can't take anymore Avalon food." He grunts. I boldly lean up and peck his lips in front of Evan who says nothing.

"How is it over there?" Evan asks as I begin to plate everyone's pizza lunch.

"The usual." He mutters. Paul looks tired. He's GOT to be second guessing his decision to work full time there for Julia by now.

"Any news on your Avalon paperwork?" I ask while grabbing a few sodas out of Nate's fridge.

"Nothing. I think Donovan fucked with them or something. But she's fine. She's got James and Mike Maloney there when she goes to sessions, and I get a little breather.

"You guys make it out like she is a hard to handle toddler or something."  Evan jokes with a mouthful of food. I want to say because she IS a hard to handle toddler, but Paul would get mad. You don't joke with him when it comes to Moretti. Not like that. We can joke about how she fucks up a bathroom or little stuff but when it comes to her actual personality traits he takes offense.  He's close to her now.

"She struggles. That's all. She was dealt a shit hand." Paul defends Julia.

"Well, any time you need a break just let me know and we can swap spots. This one's like a toddler too." He teases me and I crumble up my napkin and toss it, hitting Evan right on his forehead. "See? A toddler."

"Where's Casey?" Paul looks around.

"Getting her hair and nails done at the salon. She's off work for the day." I laugh a little. No one is off work when it comes to Nate Hollan but we all need our own life too and resume the little things we enjoy. Me and Casey? We enjoy shopping and going to the salon. 

Julia? She enjoys popping pills and throwing things.

"Good. Evan you might want to go down to the gym after you eat." Paul says while staring at me making everything awkward.

"The gym?" Evan's an idiot.

"The gym." Both Paul and I say simultaneously, and an evil smile appears on Paul's face.

"Gross." Evan throws a few pieces of pizza on his plate and grabs his soda. "Text me when I'm allowed back up."

We watch him scurry out with his food and both laugh. Then Paul devours me like I'm his next meal, right against the counter of Nate's luxury kitchen.

*******