*James*

"Hey sweetie, you ok?" 

It's the first thing I hear when I wake up.

Julia has her arms wrapped around me when I open my eyes. I look around the room. Everyone is surrounding me. I wrack my brain trying to figure out why I feel soo off as well as why I gained everyone's attention. I don't even realize I'm crying at first. I feel so disoriented, more so than usual. This isn't good. this isn't good at all.  I slowly sit up, now remembering we are in lockdown at the Avalon.

"You're ok." Julia whispers. "That one was long. Shhh. You're ok."

Jeremy lightly taps on the door and opens it. Paul jumps up out of his sleep.

"Relax, you big baboon, I texted him. You can sleep through a seizure, but hear that tap?" Jonah scoffs.

"I-I had a seizure? In my sleep??"  I ask. I didn't even know that it was possible to have seizures in your sleep.

This feels more than what I'm used to. My vision is blurry, and my thinking feels disorganized. Saying I don't feel myself is an understatement.  If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was having a stroke. How would I ever even know? My speech often becomes slurred, and my coordination is always off.

Dr. Giovanni did tell me what to look for, though. Difficulty walking, weak muscles, problems with coordination, stiff muscles, paralysis of one side of the body. I mean,  that's me every day without the one-sided numbness. But my vision is blurry, I AM fatigued, and I have difficulty speaking, slurred speech, but that's all just how I am now.

Jeremy comes in and clicks on the small lamp in the living room, bringing my thoughts back to the here and now.  He's holding not only clean clothes but a medical bag as well. Shit. You've got to be kidding me. I lost control of my bladder during the seizure.

"Does he normally have awakening tonic-clonic' grand mal?" Jeremy puts the Avalon clothes and sheets down and immediately checks me out. First, by checking my pupils with a small flashlight.

"Tonic-clonic what?" I ask.

"Nocturnal seizures. No, he's never had one in his sleep like this before." Jonah answers, apparently knowing what tonic whatever means.

"What would cause this?" Julia asks with concern.

"Could be anything, but yesterday was a very stressful day. That doesn't help. Could have been stress-induced."

"But it's fine. I mean, if it happens in his sleep like that... right?" Julia seems just as worried as myself.

Jonah and Jeremy share a look. The doctor and nurse know something, but neither want to be the one to answer.

"Why don't you get him cleaned up, and then we can talk. I'll make up his bed." Jeremy helps me to my feet. Julia is too weak with her detox to help me, so she follows Jonah, who escorts me to the bathroom.

I feel out of it. I'm not sure if it is because I was sleeping or what, but I try to undress myself for the shower but can't even do the things I normally can.

"It's ok. I'll help." Julia gets me undressed but looks at Jonah.

"You're bound to be more disoriented right now. That is normal." He assures me when he notices my coordination is way off. 

"The-they.. it's." I shake my head in frustration. "They have never been this bad." I fumble with my wording and give up. I stand in the shower while Julia washes me. Jonah is by the bathroom door to give me more privacy.

"I know. Let's just get you cleaned up and dressed so you can lay back down."

It takes both Julia and Jonah to help me get dressed. Oh God, in Avalon clothes? Really? If I get mistakenly admitted here as a patient, I'm gonna lose my shit.

"Aww, we match." Julia teases me, and I roll my eyes at our matching blue sweatpants and sweatshirts. 

Once done, Jonah escorts me right back into the living room. Jeremy has made up the cot, and I lay back down tiredly. There's no fucking way I'm sleeping here alone now. I scoot over, wanting Julia to lay with me. She nods but first sits up on the bed to get more information on what just happened.

Jeremy sighs and gives Jonah a nod.

"Ok. I'm not a neurologist, but I do know the basics." Jeremy begins. "This type of seizure isn't a good one."

"But, like nothing that could harm him, right? So long as we keep his body safe when it's happening........right?" Julia is nervous. When she is nervous, she talks faster, and it is noticed right away. "Right??"

"It's possible to die from a seizure during sleep. This is known as Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. SUDEP."

I suddenly feel nauseous. Did he just say you can die in your sleep from these? I sit up quickly and my emotions get the best of me.

"SUDEP is rare, ok?" Jonah tries to downplay it, but it's no use. We can see right through him, and he knows it so continues. "But nocturnal seizures are reported to be a risk factor for SUDEP. Serious complication of epilepsy occurs when a person with epilepsy has a seizure during sleep and dies unexpectedly."

"So how do we make sure this doesn't happen again?!" Julia asks as Maggie hops on the cot to be with us.

"You can't. But you can take steps to minimize the risk of SUDEP." Jonah chimes in and looks at me. "Me and Casey make sure you take your anti-seizure medications every day. Other things we can do is make sure you are sleeping on your side. We can buy a wedge pillow for that for when you sleep alone. We can invest in a seizure monitor as well, though it looks like Maggie here did an excellent job making everyone aware."

"Being alone at night isn't ideal." Jeremy adds.

Julia starts crying and lays down with me now. We face each other and I hold her in my arms. I don't friggen care if there are people in the room. I hold Julia so tight and bury my face in the crook of her neck to cry.

This is something completely out of my control. I can't eat better or workout more. I'm already on medications. So what? One day I'm just not going to wake up?! That scares the hell out of me!

"I'll update his neurologist when the office opens. Try to fall back asleep, OK?" Jonah says but I shake my head at him.

"Sleep! I never want to fall asleep again! What if I don't wake up?!" 

Jeremy, being the therapist in the room, takes over. 

"Don't think like that James. This is so rare. And rare it will ever happen again. No one is guaranteed tomorrow so you really can't play those mind games. You WILL drive yourself crazy. Stressing about it will only make things worse. You have Julia right there with you as well as your dog who seems to be able to sense when things are wrong before anyone else does. Try and get some sleep, both of you, ok?"

I nod. The jackass is right. I believe God has a plan for us all and need to give my worries to Him. He is in control. Not me, not any doctor or a nurse, but God. I trust Him and need to lean on my faith to carry me through. It's how I've made it this far in life with all the things that have happened to me. 

I close my eyes in Julia's arms and pray silently in my head. I pray until I eventually fall asleep.

*****

When I wake up, Julia is still in my arms. She is awake and staring at me.

"Hey." I smile slightly at her, feeling a trillion times better. I have a feeling Julia was scared I wasn't going to wake up because the minute she sees my eyes open, she lets out a sigh of relief.

"You're awake." She says in a grateful way.

"Yep. And I need to pee like a racehorse." I joke, making her laugh.

"Ok, then Jeremy is bugging me to eat breakfast. Will you go down with me?"

"Yep. Just gotta let Mags out first." I nod and head to the bathroom while Julia lets the dog out in the backyard for me.

Paul comes with Julia and I to the cafeteria to get breakfast. I look around the crowded room. This is where Julia has breakfast every day.

"Where do you usually sit?" I ask while Julia grabs two trays, and we stand in line.

"I sit at that empty table over there. Alone. I'm not the most popular person anymore since I accused Jeremy of raping me." She says softly, and I frown. 

How awful. Julia eats breakfast all alone?

"Mike will sit with me sometimes, but we've both been too sick to come down here, so Jeremy has been letting us eat in our rooms. We can bring the food back, so we don't have to stay in here."

Julia helps me with everything, and we head back to the apartment. Nate is awake now and gives me a sympathetic look. No. I don't want people to start fucking feeling sorry for me now. Or treating me different. That is the last thing I need.

"He's up to speed with everything." Jonah says as Paul hands him a tray of food. Julia sets me and her up on the small kitchen table and Maggie follows along. 

We don't say anything. We don't need to. We are content being silent together. I smile at Julia and give her a little nod of appreciation as she peels an orange for me and puts it in my hand.

"Looks like things are dying down." Jonah looks up at the TV with a mouthful of food. At the same time he says that, Jeremy knocks on the door before opening.

"Good news, you guys are all free to go. Well, all but Julia." Jeremy nods his head to the TV. "Lockdown has been lifted. Which also means visitors will be allowed during normal visitation hours. Just a forewarning, Nate." He turns to Julia who is doing well with eating today. "Bad news is that means you have to get back to your room to finish your detox. You can't detox here."

"What's the difference?" Nate asks.

"Detox requires twenty-four-hour nursing care for most patients. She can't be alone in here. I let it slide because of not only the number of people here overnight but Jonah was also here. I can't ...um... I can't stay with her. I have too many patients. After breakfast, you'll have to head out. I will clean the place up myself. I'm technically not scheduled to work until later this afternoon." Jeremy grabs hold of the bar on the rolling cot and wheels it out of the room.

"Party's over." Julia says with a frown. She liked being around everyone. For a little while, it felt like she wasn't even detoxing. It got her mind off of shit and now reality is setting in. I wipe a tear from her cheek, wishing I could stay with her longer. 

*****

*Trisha*

"Looks like the lockdown has been lifting." Evan says from the couch while watching the news. I made everyone breakfast and now feel relieved knowing everyone can leave the Avalon.

About twenty minutes later, James, Jonah, and the dog come off the elevator. No Nate or Paul, which seems odd.

What else seems odd is that James looks exhausted and is wearing a light blue Avalon sweatshirt with matching sweatpants.

"You're lucky they let you out, James." I smirk from the couch. "They could have thought you were a patient trying to escape. Why are you wearing Avalon clothes??"

"Long story." James huffs and sits down next to me.

"Evan, you're free to go. Nate and Paul will be back here shortly. Nate wanted to see his sister for a little while before leaving." Jonah gives Casey a little kiss and sits down next to her with a concerned look.

"Is everything ok?" Casey can tell Jonah has some kind of news and by the look on his face it isn't good news.

"I'll get out of your hair." Evan puts his coffee cup in the sink and grabs his keys. It's not until he is gone that Jonah speaks.

"James had a seizure in his sleep." He shares a look with Casey and her facial expression changes instantly. I furrow my brows wondering why she suddenly looks on edge. James has had seizures before. Why does she look so distraught?

"Do we have to worry about SUDEP??" Her eyes begin to water.

"Wait. What is going on?" My eyes dart to James, Casey and Jonah now. "Why do you look like you're about to cry. James has had seizures before..."

Casey shakes her head and looks over at James. He frowns and looks away.

"And what the hell is sudep?" I ask.

"Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy." Both Jonah and Casey say at the same time.

It suddenly feels like someone threw a brick at my chest and knocked the wind out of me.

"WHAT?" I shriek, not meaning to raise my voice as loud as it came out and Maggie barks at me once before jumping up on the couch next to James.

"I'm fine. " James looks at me but with watery eyes.

"Listen, it's really rare, Trish. But we need to be proactive. James can no longer sleep alone and will need to be monitored to make sure this doesn't become a frequent thing. I'm going to call the neurologist and get him in for an appointment.

"Wait...." Am I in shock or something? Why am I having a hard time understanding this? "What are you saying, Jonah? He could fucking die in his sleep?!" I gasp.

When Jonah and Casey both nod, I lose it. I stare at them with wide eyes and fucking lose it. I can't remember the last time I've cried in front of people. Not like this. 

"Oh God!" I shriek again and throw my arms around James, burying my face in his chest. I cry so hard. So hard Casey has to leave the room, no longer able to hold her own emotions in.

"Hey." Jonah scoots over a little and pats my shoulder. "He's in good hands. We are going to stay on top of this, ok?"

I lift my head and nod, now starting to calm down a little.

"Sorry. I... It's just.." I can't even form a fucking sentence.

"I know." James wipes my tears. He's wiping MY tears. I should be consoling him right now and the guy is consoling me. He puts the side of his head on my shoulder and closes his eyes.  I rest my head on his and hold both his hands in mine.

If I'm this much of a mess, I can't imagine how Julia is right now.

****

Nate and Paul come home looking equally tired. Paul heads right for the recliner and closes his eyes. I'm in the kitchen cleaning up after lunch when Nate walks over and embraces me. No hi, no nothing. Just hugs me in the middle of the kitchen.

I welcome the embrace and melt into my best friend's arms.

"Where's James?" Nate asks without lifting his head off my shoulder.

"He fell asleep on the couch after he ate lunch. Jonah said he didn't get a lot of sleep last night." 

"You ok?" 

I nod but no, of course I'm not ok. I'm the one to break our hug when I feel like I'm going to cry again.

"I'm going to take Maggie for a walk." I quickly turn away so Nate and Paul don't see tears. I'm sure they have both dealt with enough of that from Moretti.

"I'll go with you." Nate grabs Maggie's harness off the hook next to the door and gets the dog ready for our walk. He then grabs his baseball hat to throw on to disguise him a little better.

Once outside I feel much better. It's cool out but not freezing and the sun is shining bright. We usually just walk Maggie around the building so she can do her thing. Casey is the one to take the dog on long runs and such, but we figured maybe she would want a break today.

 "This changes everything, huh?" Nate begins as Maggie pulls him to walk faster.

"What do you mean?"

"James. His health. It changes tour. It changes everything." He purposely keeps his eyes forward while talking.

"I really don't see how anything changes. He can still come on tour with us. We have TWO nurses, Nate." I say as we notice someone walking in our direction. Nate pulls his hat down a little more.

"Maybe you shouldn't have come out here without Paul." I sigh when the person rounds the corner instead of walking towards us.

"Around my building? I can't walk around my building so the dog can take a piss?" Nate rolls his eyes at me. "I'm fine. Anyways. Did you not hear one thing Jonah said about James's condition?" 

"So, we monitor him."

"And what about the flights? The air pressure in the cabin fucked with his healing brain. How quickly you forget about those headaches he experienced. Dr. Giovanni told him he needs to limit-"

"I know what Dr. Giovanni said, ok?!" I snap and earn a bark from the dog. Tears fill my eyes just thinking about James not coming with us. "Sorry. Sorry, it's just ...God, can't ANYTHING go smoothly for us? It's like one big, long bad dream."

"You should see the Avalon Apartment Julia is going to have."  Nate changes the subject for me.

"Yeah, don't you think it's just a LITTLE odd Jeremy would offer something like that to Julia? What's the catch?" I squint my eyes at him and he shrugs.

"No catch."

"There's always a catch, Nate. Is she going to be forever indebted to him. Is this just so the guy has access to her whenever he wants? He raped her. Two times. Like one wasn't enough, TWO. It's his way of controlling her. Always knowing where she is. Keeping tabs on her." She continues as we round the building to the elevators.

"What's the difference from right now? Her room at the Avalon or a whole apartment at the Avalon?" He asks as we round the bend. Maggie sniffs the grass a little before going to the bathroom and Nate is the one to pick it up with the dog bag and throw it away.

"For one thing, nurses and staff everywhere." I remind him as we head back towards the elevator. We stand in front of it but don't press the button yet so we can finish the conversation.

"Nurses and staff were everywhere in the hospital. He raped her while I was in the same room drugged up on morphine. He did it right under our nose."

"I think Paul is going to apply to be her full-time bodyguard. Are you going to let him do that??That means we will have to hire a new bodyguard for you and start all over. Plus, that's a huge commitment on Paul. He'd be fucking living with Moretti. At the motherfucking Avalon!"  I blurt out. Paul shouldn't have to stay behind because of Julia. Or sacrifice his entire life and live with her as her bodyguard. That's just insane!

"Can we just focus on one thing at a time? What Paul does will be his decision. I'm not going to force him on anything. I will pay him to be my bodyguard or pay him to be Julia's. He chose this lifestyle and job and knows what it entails."

"Yeah but-"

"But nothing." Nate hits the elevator button. "Let's just figure out what to do with Gallo first and go from there."

There's a moment where we don't say anything to each other and Maggie just sits there looking up at us.

"I need you to do me a favor though......" An evil smirk grows on Hollan's face which only means one thing. Whatever he is going to ask me to do is going to something either impossible to do or very last minute.

"Oh God, not THAT smile. What....what do you need, Nate?" I ask, knowing he's up to no good.

"Just some Christmas trees."

"Some what??"

"Real ones. Fully decorated. One for my apartment and five for The Avalon." He smiles down at me and then pauses. "By tomorrow morning."

My eyes widen and Nate kisses my cheek. 

"Thanks, dollface." He says before I have a chance to respond.

Six real Christmas trees. Decorated....

By the morning.

I've got my work cut out for me now.

********