*James*

It's six thirty in the evening, and things have yet to die down here at the Avalon. Julia is helping Mike Maloney in his room, and Paul set me up on a facetime with Trisha.

"I can't believe you are stuck there overnight! At least you have Maggie with you." Trisha is laying in her bed chatting with me while I sit on the oversized chair in Julia's bedroom of her future apartment.

"At least they are letting us stay here in this apartment and not out there with the general population."

 "God, can you imagine the things you will hear from the crazy people in the middle of the night?" She chuckles.

"You're of no help, Trisha The Assistant."

She laughs at me on that one.

"Oh shit." Trisha bolts up, her eyes fixate on something else in her room. I watch her grab the remote control and turn the volume up. "Holy Shit! James, tell Nate to turn on the TV. Hurry."

I fumble to grab Paul's phone but drop it. I leave it on the ground to get Nate, but the TV is already on. Nate and Paul's eyes are glued to the news.

Julia's ass of a husband, Luke, is sitting down with a reporter for an interview.

"Like I said, we've been through our share of struggles. The loss of our son just...it was too much." Luke Moretti responds. 

"Where's Moretti? She can't deal with this tonight. She's gonna freak." Paul jolts up out of the recliner and leaves the apartment. 

Jonah comes in from outside after his phone call with Casey and his eyes widen at the interview.

"Oh no." He says in shock. "Why? I don't get it." Jonah can't look away from the news now. "I thought this was about you and your sister? Why does it keep going back to Julia's life??"

"Because she's famous."

We all turn around to see Jeremy in the doorway shaking his head at the news. "She's famous, and her life is intriguing. How many famous people do you know who are Bipolar? That has been made public?? I can't name one person." He crosses his arms in disgust over the news and continues. "How many people win a contest, fly across the country to be with the most famous person in the world, then begin dating the guy, who then proposes to her, all while mourning the death of her son, a broken marriage, and a shit load of mental illness. Add addiction as the cherry on top, and Julia is now an icon. She relates to so many different people because she has so much going on that's wrapped into one person."

Poor Julia. This day is just getting worse for her.

We watched the full interview. Luke made it out like Julia was mentally gone by the time him and Nicole were ever in a relationship. He spun her whole life around so people would feel sorry for the man. Complete bullshit.

"And you didn't think something was wrong? You didn't try to get help for your wife?" Was one of the things the reporter asked.

"Of course I did. But Julia's a little, you know. She's a little wild. I mean, look at her. She's beautiful. But she's all over the place. Even now."

She IS beautiful.  And she IS all over the place.  Because of YOU, jackass.

"Most of that was a load of crap." I mutter. "He played the Woe Is Me card big time."

"But some of it was true." Jeremy responds. "And it's the true stuff that's going to hurt Julia. The things that are true are the things that she's going to focus on."

The doctor's pager goes off, and he looks down at the number.

"Shit." Jeremy looks up at Nate and back down. He doesn't need to say anything more. It's Julia.

I don't wait for him. I rush out of the room and see Paul in the hallway. He's walking towards me, holding an unresponsive Julia in his arms. Shit. She went into shock over this. It's happened before because of that bastard Luke. 

We head back into the apartment, where he sets her down on the couch.

"Find a blood pressure cuff." Jonah snaps at Jeremy, who scrambles out the door.  Maggie hops right up on Julia's lap, but she doesn't respond to the dog. Nate sits down next to her and holds her hand.

"I'm going to fix this, doll. This ends tonight." He says with a hint of anger to his words. I don't know what he is thinking but have a feeling it's going to end up on the news.

*****

*Trisha*

"Breaking news right outside The Avalon. We have been notified that pop sensation singer-songwriter and America's Heartthrob Nate Hollan himself will be holding a press conference later this evening at 8pm. Stay tuned for more info."

I pace Nate's apartment.

"What the hell are you thinking, Nate?!" I yell into the phone. Casey and Evan ignore me while glued to the tv.

"This is completely unscripted. You have no fucking clue what you're doing!"

"Trish, listen to me. I know exactly what to do, ok?" Nate says calmly on the other end of the phone.

"Oh yeah, and what's going to happen when some reporter asks a question you can't answer? Elliott won't be there to take over. You're not thinking straight right now, sweetie. Don't do something stupid." I try to talk some sense into my best friend, but his mind has been made and there's no swaying it.

"I know exactly what to do." Nate repeats and hangs up on me.

"Son of a bitch!" I throw my phone. I have NEVER thrown my phone before and am in shock at how satisfying it felt. No wonder Nate is always throwing his phones!

"He's going through with it." I leave my phone where it fell and plop down on the couch between Evan and Casey, ready to watch Nate sabotage himself for Julia. The things this guy does for love sometimes...

*****

"Come sit outside with me and Mags." I deter Julia away from the TV and she follows me outside, curling up against me on the small patio couch. She came out of her initial shock, then cried.

Her body trembles now more than it ever has, and I can tell by her sad eyes she's not only emotionally distraught, she's in physical pain. Her bones and muscles ache needing their fix and not getting it.

"Can we talk about anything else besides what is happening in the news today, though?" Julia whimpers against my chest.

"Sure, babe. What would you like to talk about?" I pull her in more to try to comfort her.

"Something happy. Christmas."

I look down at the ground feeling a lump in my throat.  Before I can even respond, Julia sits up.

"Oh my gosh,  I'm sorry, James. I-"

"It's fine." I lie. "Christmas SHOULD be  something nice to look forward to. I try to stay positive all year round.  But when Christmas rolls around....I- I don't know.  It just gets the best of me."

"I understand. You know I do.  And you are ALWAYS  so positive all the time. It's ok to feel what you feel right now."

"I just miss him! I miss him so much!"

I lose it. I fucking lose it when I should  be comforting Julia.  But Christmas time is so friggen hard for me since losing Carter.

"Waking up that Christmas  morning....seeing all the gifts under the tree that Carter never got the chance to open. All the toys he didn't get the chance to play with. If he could have just hung on for one more day. Just one."

Julia pulls my head down to her chest and holds me as I cry.  She doesn't say a thing.  She doesn't need to. She's knows exactly what I'm feeling. It's an awful feeling but we have that connection. I've  never felt such a strong connection with any other woman.  Not Linds. Not Trisha.  It's just the way it is.  I understand Julia and she understands me. 

I know we will never be together. I wish things were different. I wish Hollan was just a friend and Julia was madly in love with me instead.

My heart breaks every single fucking day because of it.

******