*Trisha*

"You're really going to spend the day with me as my bodyguard, Paulie? I've got a lot of errands to run." I warn but Paul doesn't back down.

"Do stupid things, and you have to deal with me as the consequence, Banks." The bodyguard grumbles while driving me around town.

"Fine, whatever. But I'm in a talkative mood, so you're just going to have to deal with it today, mister."

"Umm-hmm." Paul pays no attention to me and merges on to the freeway. But while doing so, the person in the lane he was merging into decides to speed up instead of letting him through and almost sideswipes us. Paul lays on the horn, and I close my eyes tight when he brakes hard.

"Jesus." He says calmly but then looks my way. "Shit. Sorry."

My eyes are wide. My hands are stretched out in a 'stop' gesture against the dashboard, and I'm now trembling. My heart is racing.

"Oh my God!" I yelp, and Paul immediately gets off the highway and pulls into the nearest parking lot. All the color has drained from my face, and I begin having a full-blown panic attack.

At first, Paul just kind of stares at me, waiting for something to happen before he speaks.

"Well? Aren't you going to take your pill or something??" He creases his brows together when I don't reach for my purse.

"Moretti took them, remember?!" My eyes tear up, and my chest heaves.

I have no idea where the pill bottle went when Julia overdosed on my Ativan and have since been to the doctor for a new prescription. I don't take the medication often, so didn't think much of it. Until this moment.

"Hey. Look at me." Paul makes me turn to him and focus on his breathing. He talks me through my panic attack, and eventually, my heart rate slows down. A few minutes go by where we are quiet before he breaks the silence.

"Trish...." Paul takes my hand and holds it. "You really need to talk to someone about this."

I close my eyes and nod. He's right. I can't live life in fear of driving because of one accident. I can't have panic attacks every time there is a close call. We live in Los Angeles. People drive crazy here. That's never going to change.

"Yeah. I know." I murmur. "I'll call around today to see if someone can see me in the next few weeks."

"Thaannk You." He squeezes my hand before releasing it. "You good to go now?"

Not even close.

*******

*James*

After a not so great check up with mu neurologist, I've been a little down and out. The Dr. wantsme to be prepared for this possibility being the most I recover. I love Dr Giovanni but there's no way in hell I'm going to stop trying to recover fully. I have to. Eventually, I want my life to go back to normal. I want my job back. I want to be able to live in my own house and not require 24/7 care.

So. I double up on my PT exercises. I push myself harder and harder physically and mentally. I'm determined to recover 100%. But I feel like instead of getting better, I'm getting worse. And as I get worse, I become more and more frustrated with myself.

After over an hour of my PT and working on coordination alone in my room, I move on to the next thing. I'm going to learn how to shower myself. I have to. I will never be able to live on my own if I can't do the basics. It's different if I had Julia with me. She would let me push myself, but then would sense when I couldn't do something and help me. She would challenge me but not go overboard. Julia is a great teacher.

"I'm going to try to take a shower myself." I declare to Casey. Jonah and Nate are at a doctor's appointment. Trisha and Paul are out running errands, so technically, Casey really can't shower me without another person in the room. If something happened and it was an emergency, she could, of course, do what needs to be done, but aside from that, another person should be with her. I'm sick of waiting.

"James...." Casey looks up from loading the dishwasher and shakes her head no.

"I can do it. I'm certain of it." I say while walking into the bathroom.

"Can you at least leave the door open then so I can hear you if you need something?"

"Yes."

I can do this.

I walk into the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. First thing's first. I need to take my shirt off. I try to grab hold of the bottom of my t-shirt to pull it up. My hands are right there but won't cooperate. Every time I try to grab my shirt, my hands let go. I try over and over again until I get a cramp in my right hand.

"Shit." I wave my hand to relieve the tightness. I try to grab my shirt from behind to pull over my head instead, but my grip won't tighten enough.

"Fuck." I begin to get overly frustrated. I can't even undress myself. It's been ten minutes with no progress.

"How you doing in there?" Casey asks, probably wondering why the water hasn't been turned on yet.

I drag my hands down my face and walk out of the bathroom.

"Nevermind. I can wait."

*****

*Trisha*

"Do you mind if we swing by the Marriott for a few minutes?" Paul asks while driving. "I'll be quick."

I nod and we pull into the hotel parking lot. I know a little about the 4th floor but not everything. They keep it pretty hush for the most part and I know better than to ask questions. We walk into the main lobby, and Paul heads to the front desk while I head to the coffee area to make myself a cup of tea.

This place brings back fond memories of when I first met "James The Receptionist." Back when things were much simpler. James and I would chat away and eat dinner together right here as friends. On Nate's dime, of course. It was an ongoing joke of ours.

I sit down on the couch with my cup of tea and watch Paul at the front desk. He first talks to a large man who is for sure another bodyguard, then goes behind the desk and uses the computer like he owns the place.

Cheryl, one of James's coworkers, is at the other computer. I remember the older lady very well. She was the one who gave James a room and let him sleep in between two long shifts. James was a hard worker. Never complained, either.

Since we started dating, I've noticed a different side of him. Like, without Julia around, he is a bit down and out lately. I suppose I'd be the same way if Nate wasn't around. When James and I were just friends, we'd laugh and joke around together. Now I feel like everything is strained, and we are always butting heads. Which kind of stinks because that man is very gifted in bed.

"All set." Paul is standing in front of me while I was lost in my own world. He holds a manilla folder in his right hand, a to-go cup of coffee in his left. Paul lives and breathes coffee.

"What's that?" I ask, being nosy about the folder.

"I printed out an Avalon application."

I raise a brow at that.

"I'm pretty sure those spots are held for crazy people, Paul. You're the most stable man I know."

"To be a full-time bodyguard there since Julia signed off on being a resident."

"Wait." I'm floored hearing this as Paul sits down next to me and emerses himself in a soccer game up on the TV. "Full time? What the hell does that even mean? LIVE there? Hello! We go on tour soon......"

Paul lets out an exaggerated sigh.

"Nate already knows. Yes, I'd be living there. No different than living anywhere else and being a bodyguard. With you in your apartment, Nate in his... Julia may need full-time protection if she really follows through with this idea of hers after her detox."

"TOUR Paul." I remind him.

"You guys can bring that Evan guy. He is good. Just as good."

"You're telling me you would be willing to LIVE with Julia as part of your job??? pail, c'mon."

"Trisha, I did it for you. It's my job. I knew what I was signing myself up for when I became a bodyguard. Hense the no wife and kids bit. It's no different with Moretti. I don't know why you are always so hard with her. She's a good person. I'd do it for you. I'd do it for Cara. I will do it for Julia." He looks away from the TV and at me now to see my reaction. I don't even know HOW to react to this news.

Everything is being turned upside down lately and I'm not sure I'm ok with all of these changes.

*****

*James*

It's like Casey had a feeling I wouldn't be able to conquer a shower alone, but like Julia, doesn't make me feel bad about it. She gives in and helps me even though there's not another person in the apartment and then helped me get dressed.

It's lunchtime, and once again, I am struggling to eat. My fork has dropped approximately nine hundred times, and macaroni has landed on the floor for Maggie more times than my mouth.

"God damn it!" I'm hungry and unable to feed myself today. It's like my brain and body are on strike.

"Hey, take a breath, ok? Here." Casey puts the fork in my hand and keeps her grip on it to guide the food to my mouth. It's like I'm regressing to a fucking three-year-old child. She helps me eat most of my lunch and then has me try to do the last few bites on my own.

The dam fork drops again, and I lose all my patience. I'm overwhelmed and tired and feeling pretty defeated right now.

"This is ridiculous! Fucking REDICULOUS!!" I swipe the food clear off the table and burst into tears right as Jonah and Nate walk in. I'm embarrassed that I'm crying and hide my face in my hands while Casey begins cleaning up my mess.

Nothing is working out for me today.
Absolutely nothing.

"What happened?!" Jonah rushes to Casey and notices a mug smashed on the floor in pieces. "Jesus. Bring the dog in the other room, I'll clean this."

"He just...I don't know. He freaked out on me!" She ticks her head towards me.

"James, what's going on?" Nate puts a hand on my shoulder, but I flinch and shake my head. I don't need everyone's pity. I need to be stronger. Better.

"I don't know, ok?!" I snap.

"Not a good enough answer, Gallo." Nate sits next to me while Jonah sweeps up the mess.

"No, really. I don't know! I just ... like, she said, I freaked out on her. I lost my temper. I'm sorry."

"Do you feel like you're losing your temper more than usual?" Jonah asks while cleaning up the mess.

"Just the last few days." I explain.

"Why didn't you tell someone?" Nate talks to me like I'm in fricken preschool and earns a glare.

"Delayed onset." Jonah drops his shoulders. I don't know what the hell he is talking about. It's like Jonah is fucking Google or something. He goes off on this medical tangent leaving the rest of us poor stupid folks staring at him like he has two heads. He notices right away after explaining and rewords it all.

"While some mood changes may be immediate post- brain surgery, emotional difficulties and other symptoms can sometimes appear later in the recovery process. Even a year after surgery or longer." Jonah finishes cleaning up the food and stands up to continue his talk. "You were disappointed the other day when your Neurologist said this could be the extent of your recovery. You've been pushing yourself harder since then, James. Putting your brain on overdrive with doubling up your PT and coordination exercises. Were you unable to do something during lunch that you normally could do?"

"I kept dropping my fork."

"So, you got frustrated. Your brain is tired. It needs rest. Recovery takes time James. Healing takes time."

I don't need more time. I need to just get better.

I also need my best friend right now. Julia would understand. She always understands. just the thought of her being in that place brings tears to my eyes. I miss her so much and she is mad at me because of me and Trisha. I haven't seen Julia in days.

I burst into tears out of nowhere. "Can I see Julia today?"

"Yeah. Ok. I can take you." Nate offers.

"You can't drive. Stay here and eat. I'll take him. I want to check in on Julia anyway." Jonah stands up and dumps the mess in the dustpan in the trash.

Jonah helps me with my sneakers, and we head right out.

"Hey man, you need to cut yourself some slack." Jonah says while driving us to the Avalon. "You, my friend, are putting way too much pressure on yourself and trying to achieve unrealistic goals. You aren't giving yourself credit for how far you've come, James."

"I just want my life back." I stare out the window, beating myself up over my shortcomings.

"You HAVE your life back. Remember how much you've already recovered. We weren't even sure you'd wake up from your coma. And if you did, if you'd be braindead. Now look at you. Walking and talking. You're an inspiration, you know that?"

"Yeah, ok." I bleed sarcasm as we pull in to the Avalon.

"I mean it. You may have a bit of depression right now and that is to be expected. But James, you could be a motivational speaker on life. On not giving up even when the odds are against you. You never gave up. C'mon. Let's go see how Julia is. Fair warning, her detox is well under way though, ok?"

I nod and try to unbuckle myself before Jonah does. Of course, I fail miserably.

We go through the song and dance of signing in at the front desk and getting our visitor badges. While Jonah is getting updated on Julia's medical status, I walk into her room. She's laying down, zoned out completely. She looks thinner, tired, sad.

I sit down on the chair next to her bed but she doesn't turn to see me.

"Are you awake?" I know she is but is giving me the silent treatment still. So I take it upon myself to talk anyway. "I miss you. I miss everything about you. I know you're mad at me for being with Trisha. I get it. I just miss my best friend Julia. And now," I sniff. "I feel like I'm losing my mind. Something's not right with me, babe. I keep flipping out on everyone at home."

Julia turns to face me now while I continue talking.

"It's like I can't control these outbursts. I don't know what's happening."

"Hey. C'mere." She taps my thigh and scoot over to give me room to lay in her bed with her. I kick off my sneakers not caring I will need help getting them back on. Julia will help me. I crawl into bed with her and we face each other. Julia strokes my cheek, and I break down in my best friend's arms.

"I can't control my moods." I frown.

"Did you talk to Jonah about this?"

"Yeah. He had a name for it. Delayed Onset. He thinks I'm pushing myself too hard."

"Are you?" She asks.

"I mean.... this can't be it for me! What the neurologist said. I'm not-"

"Wait. When did you have a neurologist appointment? You never told me you had a follow up. What did Dr. Giovanni say?" Julia talks fast.

"You've been a little preoccupied here with your detox and then you were mad with the whole Trisha thing. Sorry." I feel bad I haven't kept Julia in the loop. "H-he said I could continue to recover but to be prepared if this is as far as my recovery goes. I can't accept that, Julia. I just can't!" I begin to cry again. What the hell is wrong with me lately?!

"So you've been pushing yourself harder with your PT and stuff. To prove you can recover more?"

"Pretty much." I admit and Julia pulls me in and wraps her arms around me. Her body is shaking from her detox, and she holds me like she needs every single ounce of my body heat to help warm her. Like I need every single ounce of her to help calm me.

We both cry. Together. We're both struggling with shit. But we don't need to talk about it. We just want to be with each other. I just want Julia right now. We fit perfectly together right here in this moment.

Like we were meant to be together. Obviously, that isn't happening. I've accepted it. But you can't deny facts. Facts like it should have been me and Julia together right from the start. Facts like I will always be in love with her even though I know we will never be together. I'm moving on. Julia is moving on.

But I will always love her.

******

*Trisha*

I drag Paul around and don't bring up his crazy decision to throw his life away to be Julia's bodyguard if needed. Talking about it won't change Paul's mind. That much I know.

"Where is everyone?" I ask once we are back up in Nate's apartment, chinese food bags in hand and ready to call it a night. It's just Nate and Casey home watching TV.

"Where have YOU been? You missed an eventful day." Nate looks back and those blue eyes bore into me. I hold up two bags of chinese food. "That shit will give you a heart attack."

"Says the man who eats lettuce all day and has heart attacks. Bite me." I roll my eyes and start laying out the food on the counter for everyone. Paul plops down on the other end of the sectional and closes his eyes. I tired him out with my errands.

"Are you guys having a secret affair again or are you back to being her bodyguard?" Nate's eyes dart from me to Paul.

"Apparently she still needs a bodyguard, or she makes wrong choices in life." Paul answers.

"Paul." I glare at him. "Anyway, what happened today that was so eventful?"

"Don't change the subject." Nate continues.

"She's been in contact with Dave." Paul says.

I'm going to kill the bastard. Fucking kill him. He can't keep anything to himself, can he!!!

"WHAT?!" Nate snaps his head back to me and I purposely turn my back towards him.

"Everyone has their bad addictions." Casey says under her breath while shaking her head. "C'mon Maggie. Wanna go out?" She escapes any drama by bringing the dog outside for a walk.

Paul fucking tells Nate everything. Fortunately, the one thing he left out was today's panic attack when we were driving. Then Nate tells us what happened today with James.

"Why aren't you more surprised by hearing this?" Nate asks me at the kitchen island.

"He's been like that to me a few times this week, that's all. I told Jonah who then began to do some research on it. I just assumed because him and Julia are giving each other the silent treatment." I push over a plastic see-through take-out container that has salmon, rice and broccoli in it. "I stopped off at Quin's Market for you. I knew you wouldn't eat the chinese food."

"Thanks." He accepts the dinner and sit down next to me. "It's more than Julia. He's pushing himself to recover more. That's what Jonah said at least. His brain is overtired and he's not resting it enough to let it heal on its own. He's been doubling up on his PT workouts and exhausting himself to the point he is back to getting frustrated over every little thing."

"I believe it. That's James for ya. Always aiming for perfection." I sigh.

"Aren't you the least bit concerned about this mood change in him? He's your fucking boyfriend, isn't he?"

"I'm sure once we go on tour things will settle down for him."

"Tour? How can you be thinking about tour right now? One of our own is in a fucking mental hospital detoxing and another is having these unexplained outbursts from his brain injuries. You're always all over me about every little thing. How are you not all over anyone else about shit going on with them?"

"Cuz you're you, Nate. I will always worry more about you. You do stupid shit." I remind him.

"Says the woman who talks to her ex abusive boyfriend." Paul chimes in. I flip him off and wink.

"Cut it out, both of you. I barely talked to him. I said I was happy he was getting the help he needs or some shit, ok? That's it. He's still a person. A person who is trying to get help for his issues. Which reminds me, playboy. You need to submit your hours of AA in to your 'sponsor' per your DUI. Your sponsor is Jonah, right? You should have all that stuff settled before tour."

"Trisha. Everything will get done. Can we go two seconds without talking about the damn tour? Live does not revolved around my world tour."

"Yeah, tell that to Richard. Tell that to Leslie. I dare you." I huff and turn to Paul. "Come eat. Oh, and when, Nate-" I turn back to Nate. "Were you going to tell me Paul is applying to be Julia's full-time bodyguard? These are the things your personal assistant should know so I can plan accordingly."

"Hey Trisha. Paul is applying to be Julia's full-time bodyguard. There. Happy?" Nate smirks and then flashes me his flirty million-dollar smile. He thinks he's so fucking cute, doesn't he?

"Asshole." I retort.

*****

*James*

Eventually Julia's detox got the best of her and Jonah, and I had to leave so the nurse could give Julia a shower. Once we are back at Nate's, Trisha and everyone are home.

"How was she today?" It's the first thing Nate asks Jonah. He never went to visit Julia and it's noticed. She's having a really difficult time and could use her boyfriend. If that's what you even want to call Nate. I have no idea where their relationship is at.

Jonah fills him in while I sit on the couch next to Trisha and put my arm around her shoulder.

" I haven't seen you all day. Heard you didn't have a great day today." She whispers to me while everyone else is talking.

"I'm a little better now. I don't know what my issue was. But I'm ok now." I kiss the side of Trisha's head and close my eyes.

"Is Julia still pissed about us?" Trisha cuddles up to me and kisses my cheek. She's very affectionate when she wants to be. Never cares who is around either. I like that.

"It didn't really come up. I think she is too consumed with her detox right now." I frown.

"You miss having her around, huh?"

"Of course I do. She's my best friend." I look down at Trisha who is giving me her bedroom eyes.

"I can be your best friend for a little while...." Like Julia, Trisha is insatiable. Another thing I like. I cock my head back and laugh and she takes me to my bedroom while everyone else is preoccupied with their conversation at the dining room table.

Once inside my room Trisha closes the door and leans against it. Her hands drop to the hem of her blue shirt and raises it up slowly. My smile falls a little as my face sets into a serious expression now.

Trisha's gaze doesn't leave mine as she pulls her shirt up over her head, exposing her light pink lacy bra. She then takes her jeans off to show the matching cheeky panties that hug her perfect body. My eyes burn into hers as I push her against the door with my body and attach my lips to hers. Her breath hitches when I slide my leg between her knees, and my arms wrap around her waist, pulling her tightly into me.

"You know, there's people right outside this door." She whispers provocatively.

"Doesn't bother me any." I kiss her passionately, and Trisha pulls my T-shirt off with ease I'm jealous of. She then pulls down my sweatpants and stays on her knees. I swipe her blonde hair to one side as her eyes travel up to meet mine.

"Tell me what you want, James." She whispers. Her lips graze the bulge forming under my boxer briefs.

"You. I want you."

"Specifics." Her hands pull my underwear down and my erection springs out against her lips. Trisha doesn't back away.

"Hmm.. Well, first..."

I know how to play her games. It doesn't intimidate me. I will tell her exactly what I want and how I want it with no issues at all. It reminds me of the game Julia played with me. The "Request Anything"game. And God did I love that game.

I tick my hips to press my dick against her lips a little more and smirk.

"I want to be in your mouth, then I want to taste you and make you writhe up against this door. With everyone right on the other side. I'll tell you more of what I want when that's done."

Trisha wasn't expecting such a bold answer. Her cheeks flush and her eyes light up. I keep my eyes down on her and thread my fingers through her hair. Her eyes look down at my body as she licks a strip up my length from my balls to my tip.

"Jesus." I hiss.

Her tongue swirls around the precum before she pulls me into her mouth. I groan and my head falls back. "That feels good."

Trisha continues to suck me in, picking up her pace while I let out all sorts of moans and sounds of praise. When she brings me right to the edge, I quickly pull her off me, leaving my dick throbbing and twitching with no relief.

"You're gonna make me come and I don't want it to happen like that."

Trisha stands up straight and kisses me while walking me backward until my legs hit the bed. She pushes me down and settles between my thighs.

"Well, I'm not done with you yet, so you better gain some self-control." She sits up on her knees, and her eyes darken.

Heat fills my body just seeing the confidence Trisha has when it comes to sex. She is just like me. Vocal with no fear. Her fingers lightly stroke my hard on with one hand while the other slides between her thighs.

"How do you feel about being tied up, Mr. Gallo?" She cocks a brow up and waits to see my reaction.

"All for it." I smirk.

"Then let the games begin."

*******