*Trisha*

I had no choice but to tell Nate's band a little of what's been going on. They knew something was up by the way Nate was missing rehearsals and sound checks left and right. Of course they understood. But the show must go on and Nate knows it. 

He's nervous. Really nervous.  All day he's been trying to keep his emotions in check knowing everything is out of control back home. I genuinely feel bad for Julia right now and am glad Paul is with her. I can't imagine what she must be feeling. But while she's there, I need to make sure everything runs smoothly for the concert tonight. Leslie is already on my back. 

Nate comes into the rec room looking sharp. A white button-down shirt and jeans will be the first outfit of the night. He is in fake it till he makes it mode. I can see it in his eyes. It kills me to see that sadness. This job takes a toll on you even when you DON'T have shit going on. This industry is brutal. They expect the best of the best every time you step foot out on that stage and Nate knows it.

"You've got this, mate." One of Nate's bandmembers', Tommy, pats his shoulder while Holly fixes Nate's hair, and I adjust his mic cord.

"Hey," I say softly and turn Nate to focus on me for a moment. "Look at me. Last concert, ok? Last performance and then you get three weeks off." I hand him his guitar and he's off.

"He's not in a good place right now." Jonah says.  as I watch the concert from backstage. "How can anyone expect him to perform?"

"He'll be fine." Leslie walks to the other side of the room with her clipboard and I sigh deeply.

"She's brutal, huh?" Casey shakes her head. This is the first concert Casey is sitting out. We all know this night is stressful for Nate. No one can enjoy it knowing there's all sorts of stuff going on. So, Casey decides to watch from backstage with me and Jonah. 

You always know the second Nate goes on stage. The noise from the roaring crowd is deafening.

Fake it till you make it, Nate. One last time.

*****

*James*

"You really sure you want to do this?" Gwen asks me while we are at the flower shop.

"What. Buy Julia flowers?" I raise a brow in sarcasm.

"No, jackass. Go to the Avalon again." She punches my shoulder a little. Like that would hurt in the slightest. I laugh at my sister and pick out Julia's favorite flowers. Daisies. Julia loves daisies.

I ignore my sister and pay for the flowers with, yes, one of Nate's many prepaid Visa cards he gave everyone a long time ago.  Eventually I'm going to need to get better enough to start working again. Maybe at the Marriott. I miss my job. I miss Al and that crazy Spanish cleaning lady who is always flirting. I miss working. Crazy, right? 

But until my brain heals, and my coordination is better, working on computers, answering phones and folding pool towels just isn't going to happen.

Walking through the Avalon halls with the nurse always puts me on edge. Don't get me wrong, this place is gorgeous. But it's the people IN this place that creep me out. Some are just regular people or celebrities trying to detox from their addiction but some people.... they just LOOK crazy without having to even say two words.

I keep my eyes focused forward as the nurse escorts me to Julia's room.

No.

I stand still in shock at the sight of Julia. She's restrained. Both wrists and ankles. Her eyes are red and puffy with tears streaming down. Yet... she looks calm. She looks like a person who should NOT be in restraints is what she looks like.

I drop the flowers and cover my mouth with my hand in disbelief. 

"What happened?!" I shriek, stepping over the flowers to get to Julia. "Babe, what did you do?" I blurt out without thinking. I realized it after the fact how that could come off harsh.

Julia closes her eyes and begins to cry. I push her hair out of her face while Paul corrects me.

"She didn't do anything." Paul says. "Not a damn thing."

"Wha-what??" 

"I didn't do anything wrong." Julia whimpers. "He came at me. He... he...."  She can't finish her sentence. Oh my God. Did he attack her in some way? Put his hands on her? I am going to kill that piece of shit. I lower my forehead to rest on hers and close my eyes, not caring about the tears falling down from my face.

"I can't believe this is happening." I whisper.

The door opens and Jeremy follows the nurse in and I friggen lose it.

"You sonofa-" I lunge forward ready to tear the bastard to pieces, but Paul holds me back. "Get those God damn restraints off her." I seethe

"Mr. Gallo, have a seat." Jeremy lets out a frustrated sigh like we are all bothering him now and wasting his precious time. "The restraints are coming off. Julia needs to eat."

"I mean for good, you asshole." I say through a clenched jaw.

"We're going to see how she does in a little while first. The sedative was a strong one. It could very well still be in her system." Jeremy says while unlocking Julia's wrists, and then ankles. The second she's free she turns to her side and curl up in a ball to shut down.

"Sedative......"  I frown.

"I'd like to make sure she eats and stays calm even after the sedative is out of her system."

"I WAS calm. You.... you..." Julia starts but Paul gives her a look and shakes his head. Instead, Julia pulls the blanket over her body and closes her eyes.

"No shutting down on me. Sit up and start eating please." Jeremy takes the tray of food and puts it on the nightstand next to her Julia does what she's told, and I feel sick to my stomach watching this all play out. Absolutely sick...

Jeremy's beeper goes off and he looks down at it attached to the waistband of his khaki pants.

"I need to take this. Rhonda, please make sure she eats. Document everything."

"Yes, doctor." The nurse says as Jeremy exits my room. The second Donovan is gone, I stand up and pull Julia into my arms. I hold her so damn tight. 

"I didn't do anything wrong." She repeats.

She really didn't do anything wrong,

*****

*Trisha*

As always, Nate did a fantastic job! I'm beyond proud of him right now. He pulled it together and put on one of his best shows! I knew he could do it. I also knew how drained he was the second he got off that stage. He hands me his guitar without saying one word and heads to go shower. I leave him be to decompress. Nate uses the shower to let it all out. He loves warm water. He always has.

But even during the car ride back to the hotel he is silent.

It's not until we are in the hotel room, well after midnight, that Nate drops the bomb on me.

"Trish, I need to do this." Nate says while lying in bed watching me take my make up off. He's trying to bail from the rest of his obligations and go home early. Leslie would have a fucking cow!

"What's the difference between tomorrow and two days from now? At least finish this off with the interviews and meet and greets scheduled."

"I don't think you understand. Do you know how hard it was to fake it for three hours tonight?"

I drop my shoulders and head to bed. I'm wearing the new pink camisole I bought the other day, but I can tell it's not happening tonight. Which is fine. I figured as much but wanted to try anyway. drops her shoulders and walks over to the bed. 

"And you did great. No one suspected a thing." I lay down next to Nate and drag my finger in ciricles around his chest. But Nate grabs my hand harshly.

"We can't do this anymore."

"What?"

"This... right here. We can't Trish. Once we go home. You know that." 

My heart sinks. I knew this would happen. He'd go back to his Damsel in Distress and leave me behind. I frown.

"You always come back to me." I remind him.

"No, I mean it. I love you and would do anything for you, you know that.... but I'm serious Trisha. This ends tonight."

"Sure thing, playboy." I huff. "Just remember how much fun we have together and who you can play around with, with restraints and who will have a fucking panic attack if you try."

Nate bolts up and glares at me.

"What did you just say?!"

"You heard me. You'll never be able to do that shit with Julia. You'll trigger the hell outta her." I laugh a little but am now aware I crossed the line. Nate is pissed.

"I can't believe you just said that."

"I'm kidding! Sheesh." I sit up, now embarrassed.

"Don't ever say shit like that...please." Nate lays back down facing away from me now.

"Sorry. I didn't mean-" I swallow the hard lump in my throat. "Hey." I rest my chin on his shoulder and spoon him. "Sorry. Really." I kiss his bare shoulder before resting my cheek on it.

"You're fine. I'm just so fucking stressed right now, doll. You have no idea." He mutters.

"I know you are. Listen, playboy. Everything is going to be alright, ok? Try not worry that head of yours."

With that, I back away from Nate and turn off the light. 

But my emotions get the best of me while lying in bed, next to Nate. This is it. Fun's over. He's ready to go back to Julia. What was I thinking? Of course he'd go back to Julia. I'm nothing to him. I'm just the one who cleans up all of Nate Holland's messes, aren't I? Just the one he uses while away and he can't get any action from his girlfriend. That's all I'll ever be to him. Why the hell do I keep wishing and hoping that Nate will stay with me when I know he is not interested?

With this job, I might as well be single forever.

Tears well up in my eyes. I accidentally sniff and it's noticed. Nate turns around in the dark. Neither of us can see a thing yet he wipes a tear from my eye.

"Why are we crying, love?"

"We're not."

"Trish..."

"I love you Nate, don't you get it? I'm always going to love you. Like James loves Julia." I begin to cry and flip to my side.

"Hey...." He pulls me into his chest. "Hey, I love you too. You know I do, angel. You're my best friend. You know me better than anyone else." He brushes my hair with his fingers and my tears fall on his chest. "Aww, stop crying Trish."

"I'm fine." I say in a very unconvincing manner.

Nate leans down and kisses my forehead. Then my cheek, then my lips.

"Please stop crying..." Nate distracts me by kissing me so slow and sweet my stomach ties in a tight knot. 

And I let him.

I let him distract me. I let him kiss down my neck. I let him roll on top of me and deepen the kiss as he hardens against my core.

"One more time?" He asks.

And of course... I say yes.

"One more time." 

"Tie me up, Trisha Banks." Nate smirks down at me and I nod.

And this time, I don't untie him. I tease him to the point he can't handle it but instead of untying the soft silk red fabric, I hold on to his hands and fuck him until we're blue in the face and he's yelling my name out in pleasure. 

I make sure Nate Hollan will NEVER forget how good we are together.

*****

*James*

Julia is upset but not nearly enough for restraints. She eats and does everything right. But we have yet to see Jeremy to let her free. Right now, Paul is in the cafeteria grabbing us some coffee while I try to cheer Julia up a little

"I reenacted our Griffith Park experience yesterday. I laid on the grass in my backyard and felt the sun on my face. Silly huh?"

Julia turns her head to look at me and I wipe a tear off her face. A tiny grin forms on her face before she responds.

"I did that yesterday too. Right in the garden out back. People probably thought I was crazy but..." She shrugs. "Look where I am. Crazy is the norm around here."

I give her a crooked smile. "I wonder if we went out at the same time."

"Maybe. I don't really have a sense of time here unless I look at my phone, but you know...I never do." 

"Hey. You ok in there?" This must be Mike Maloney.  Julia was telling me about him a little over lunch. The tall lean bodyguard with dark brown shoulder length hair and a bit of a beard leans against the door eyeing me while I hold Julia's hand.

"I just want these off." Julia lifts her wrists up."I don't think the sedative is still in my system and I ate. I don't know why I'm still in restraints." 

"Who are you again?" Mike squints at me. Jealous much, pal?

"Um......" I look to Julia to see how she wants to introduce me. Best friend? Ex-boyfriend?

"Mike, James. James, Mike. James is my best friend. Mike is...... a guy I slept with last night."

"Julia!" Mike's eyes widen as he stares at me, and he runs his hands through his hair nervously.

"Only you." I smirk and Julia shrugs.

"Sorry, we tell each other everything." She admits. She's not wrong. Right from day one we have told each other everything. Julia is so easy to talk to it just comes naturally. We spent many nights in the Marriott lobby chatting away. That's what best friends do and no matter what happens, Julia will always be my best friend.

"EVERYTHING?" Mike asks in surprise.

"Everything." We both answer before I continue. "I think you still have some of that sedative in you though, babe. Your filter is gone, and you are very relaxed...all things considered" I laugh a little.

"You guys seem more than friends."

Again, we just laugh a little at that.

That smile fades when Jeremy notices Mike lingering near Julia's room. He does NOT look happy, and I have the sudden urge to punch him in the face.

"I'm pretty sure you have someplace to be right now." Jeremy narrows his eyes at Mike.

"Remind me why you have her on lock down in here?" Mike stands up straight and it seems like he is sizing Jeremy up.

"This is what happens when you have a manic episode. For the safety of herself and those around her." The doctor explains. "You DO know Julia has bipolar disorder among other things, right Michael?"

Low blow, pal. Trying to make Julia out as this dangerous person. All a hundred pounds of her if that. But, he's not wrong. I've seen it with my own eyes. When Julia has an episode, her adrenaline takes over. I still don't believe that is what happened this morning, though.

Julia begins to cry, now completely embarrassed and turns her face to the side.

"Everyone has something. Kinda why we're here, boss. But how long does she have to be tied down like this for?" Mike is unfazed by the diagnosis. I kinda like the felon. He says it like it is.

"Until I say so." Jeremy walks away from the conversation. What a jackass.

*******

*Trisha*

Nate is really bailing out of his obligations and Leslie is pissed off. My opinion no longer matters so I stay out of their little argument. But there's no turning back now. Nate called Elliott who already put the word out. "Due to unforeseen circumstances." He leaves Moretti's name out of it. Nate will do anything to protect Julia. It's admirable. But I'm still giving him the silent treatment. Because after the meeting, Leslie sent me a nasty text telling me to do my fucking job better. I'm not employed by her! She doesn't sign my checks. Who the hell does she think she is? I get it she's upset, but why does EVERYONE take it out on me?!

I didn't see the text until after we board the flight, so I don't bother responding. Not yet at least. And I won't show it to Nate either. He doesn't need any more stress. Before we take off, I head to the bathroom with my phone to call Paul. I want to hear the update for myself, so I know what we are walking into when we land.

"Hey Paulie, how you holding up?" I ask in a soft voice so no one can hear me.

"Hanging in there." The bodyguard mumbles. He sounds tired. He sounds exhausted actually. Julia is exhausting. She is like Cara, hard to care for. But whatever happened this morning sounds like the breaking point for Paul. For the first time ever I'm thinking- Julia needs to get out of the Avalon. Away from Jeremy Donovan. That guy is going to mentally kill her. We need to find another place.

But where?

The Avalon is the best of the best. It's big money, five-star hotel rating of a facility that celebrities from all over the world travel to for their addiction issues. It's well known and for good reason. There is just no comparison to any other place in the country.

"What are we looking at when we land, Paul?" I get right to it.

"She's not well, Trish. He fucked with her head. I don't know what was done to her physically but mentally she's really struggling. And this time it's not her doing. This is all that doctor. He's insane." Paul opens up to me a little for a quiet man.

"I'm going to figure it all out, ok Paul? We're gonna get her the hell outta there and figure it all out."

I've got my work cut out for me when we go home. We all do.

*******

*James*

As the day went on, it was hard for Julia to keep up with the act. She grew tired of trying to stay calm around Jeremy. I grew tired of trying to stay calm and fake it.

It's weird. One minute it's like Jeremy Donovan is doing his best to help Julia, helping her with her meds and talking to her calmly and then next time he comes in he looks aggravated with her, telling her she needs to stop crying. I can't read this guy at all. Which is why it must be hard for Julia to. Because when the asswipe is helping, he's really helping. He gets her. But Jesus, when he has had enough, the agitation is noticed. He's a very intelligent man. With a very evil streak to him.

Before dinner, I was told I couldn't stay any longer because visiting hours were over. Paul called Gwen for me and while waiting for her, I sat next to Julia, holding her hand the entire time.

"I don't know how much more I can take." She whimpers softly with me and Paul the only ones currently in her room.

"I know sweetie. I hate this for you. I've been praying nonstop about this. You know I have." I say somberly. It's true. Every chance I get I send one up to Him. Because all of this is out of our control. The whole thing is out of control. Jeremy needs some major help. This obsession with Julia. It's not normal, obviously. But I feel like only God has a hand in this now.

"Gallo, your sister is here." Paul says when he receives Gwen's text.

"Thank you for the flowers, James." Julia looks over at the flowers, now in a vase thanks to a nice nurse. I wrap my arms around her the best I can while she's in the restraints and kiss her cheek multiple times.

"Hang in there, ok?" I choke out and she nods. I pull her blanket up over her to keep her warm and leave the room.

Then leave the Avalon.

Gwen helps me in the car, and I hold my emotions in until she starts driving.

"How is she??" Gwen asks while keeping her eyes on the road.

"That doctor put her in restraints. He put her in restraints and sedated her for no reason." I look out the window and wipe my eyes. "It's not right. None of this is ok."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry Jamie. I didn't know it was that bad. They can do that? Restrain her and stuff?"

"Apparently. Listen. I don't think I can handle going to mom's today." I admit. The last few days mom has been pretty bad. She gets confused easily and I just don't have it in me today to relive life with Joe. "Can we just go back to my house?"

"I had a feeling you'd say that. It's just me tonight because Jennie has to work, and Ashley is going to stay and help Kendall with mom and Katie. I already ordered us food and tired Maggie out with a five-mile run earlier."

"Thanks, Gwenie."

 I stare aimlessly out the window wondering how the heck Julia is going to survive a night at the Avalon in restraints with Donovan in the same building.

Once home, I try to do whatever I can to not think about Julia's situation. I workout. I do pushups, squats, crunches and planks till I can no longer feel my body. I do my PT exercises and fine motor skill practices until I can no longer feel my hands.

Since flipping pages of a book is too difficult for me to do, Gwen set me up on her phone and headphones to listen to my men's devotional and bible study for over an hour. She knew I was struggling. Unlike Ashley, Gwen is open to things. Mental health awareness. Emotional therapy. She could see I was having a hard time. I always try to be strong for my sisters but when Gwen I can cry. I can cry and my little sister doesn't judge me. She lets me. She rubs my back and makes me a cup of tea and consoles me.

I fall asleep in my bed praying for Julia. Because it is the only thing I can do. Everything else is out of my control. But I have the control to pray. To believe. To know that there's something bigger than this life we live. That even though we go through difficult times there's someone watching over us. And Julia needs someone watching over her tonight. 

She needs protection.

She needs healing.