*Trisha*

Julia's one overnight stay at The Avalon has turned into a full seven-day stint. Between complications surrounding her UTI, then the sedative dose erasing her detox efforts, she is still looking at another day or two.

And while all that is going on, Nate is in "Fake It Till I Make It" mode. He's doing an excellent job at it as well. We knew Amsterdam would be a busy stop for us. Between signing events, meet and greets, radio interviews, promos, and talk show guest on every local show possible promoting the tour and album, on TOP of performing three plus hour concerts, he's getting it all done. We still have three more days here and one more concert.

Aside from that, I thought it would be fitting to book our stay at the Amstel Hotel, the most prestigious hotel in the Netherlands. Nate deserves this, and it will be a great experience for Jonah and Casey as well. I scheduled some tours for Jonah and Casey as well as in room massages and spa days. Ours just ended, today being one of my days off, and once they pack up and leave, I have my own plans with Nate.

The second the hotel door closes, I undress and push Nate up against the door.

"Whoa. Hello." He smirks as I slide his robe off him

"Are you relaxed, Mr. Hollan?" I whisper before kissing down his neck.

"Well......" He hesitates. "I was..."

"Let me help you with that." I lead him over to the bed and rummage through the gift basket that came with the massage, pulling out the body oil. "I'm pretty sure they missed a spot. But first..."

Nate watches me in confusion as I walk around the bed and open the nightstand drawer. I pull out the red fabric restraints Nate liked so much and see his eyes fill with excitement. 

"Lay down, playboy."

Nate does what I say. I tie him up and massage his ENTIRE body, bringing him to the edge multiple times over the course of the next hour.

"I'd do anything for you, you know that?" I look up at Nate seriously while massaging his hard on with the oil. He can barely speak and is loving this game. I know I'm driving him crazy, as well as myself, but I was not prepared for what happens next. 

I untie Nate's wrists and let him roll on top of me, thinking he's probably going to make me pay for teasing him so much in bed. Instead, Nate isn't harsh at all. He makes love to me. It's something I had never felt before. Not like this. And as we both unravel at the same time; he looks into my eyes and says the words I've been dying to hear.

"I love you."

******

*James*

"It's been a while." 

I brush off Carter's tombstone and glance at Maggie for a moment before crouching down, leaning my forearms on my knees. My dog sits right next to me while Jennie waits in the car. The girls come to their nephew's grave often, but I haven't since before my accident. Fresh flowers fill the holder next to the tombstone, and I know it's most likely Gwen's doing. She always makes sure Carter's plot looks perfect. 

"I miss you so much." I close my eyes and let my emotion out. Christmas Eve isn't far away. It was the absolute hardest day of my life. The day my son died. He fought all two and a half years of his life with a brain tumor, but in the end, Carter's little body couldn't handle it. "My little fighter." I croak out. Something I called my toddler often. Because he was. He was such a fighter. Overcoming obstacle after obstacle until he couldn't fight anymore.

"You watching over Danny up there, right? His mom is a fighter too, you know that?" I talk and cry and pet Maggie at the same time. "She's fighting so hard right now.  And I know I should be right there by her side. Believe me. I know." I sniff.

"I ju-just.... It's a lot, ya know? It's hard to watch someone you love struggle the way she struggles. I hate seeing Julia like this. I'd do anything to take away her pain. Just like I'd do anything to take away yours when you were in pain, buddy. I don't know why you're up there, and I'm still down here.  Why my brain healed and yours just.... just couldn't." I stammer, and Maggie licks the tears off the side of my face. "I miss you." I repeat and completely lose it like I always do. And just like every other time, my sister has to come down and tear me away from my son's grave, walking me back up the hill to the car.

"It never gets easier, does it?" Jennie wraps her arms around my waist while walking, and I shake my head, wiping my tears from my eyes.

"No. It doesn't." I sniff. "Thanks for bringing me, Jen."

"Oh my gosh, of course! You don't have to thank me. We come here often. Well, not Katie or mom, obviously. Mom gets too worked up lately."

The last time we took my mom to see her grandson's grave, it was like telling her he passed away for the very first time. It was horrible. She couldn't understand how God could take away her perfect little grandbaby. This happened every time we took her, each time worse than the time before, so we agreed it's best not to put mom through that anymore. It was a group decision but still hard.

"Now where we off to?" Jennie buckles me in, and Maggie hops in the back seat.

"I think we need to drop the dog off at ma's and go get a drink." I look over to my sister who gives me a little smirk.

"A drink drink?" She asks.

"A drink drink."

*******

*Trisha*

Tonight, Nate orders every single thing off the room service menu for dinner. Jonah and Casey join us in our suite so we can feed our faces. Or......let's be real.... watch Jonah feed his face. Halfway through dinner, Nate's phone lights up. Paul is calling him. That only means one thing. Something is up with Julia. I watch Nate answer his phone and head out to the balcony, Jonah following behind him.

"It's never-ending." I sigh and continue eating dinner.

"Unfortunately, with a complex diagnosis that Julia has, it will continue to be never-ending." Casey responds.

"God, Jonah is rubbing off on you." I roll my eyes at our mini-Julia, who now sounds like Nurse Jonah.

"Maybe." Casey snorts. "But it's true. And it's not Julia's fault either. We can't help what we are diagnosed with or how we handle things.  And right now...it's like no matter how hard she tries to get better, something always gets in the way."

I think about that for a moment and frown. Because Casey is right. Julia IS trying to get better. But the toll it takes on Nate's heart is too much for him.

It's time for Nate to move on.