*Trisha*

"So now what?" Noah asks breathlessly. I can't think straight. That was by far the best kiss I have ever had in my life. His ex-wife is an idiot. Ok, maybe tied with James from what I recall when we kissed way back when. But still.... excellent kisser.

 Noah pecks my lips a few more times like he can't get enough of me. My hands are still threaded in his light brown hair and his hands are still cupping my face.

"So now...." I pause. "Now I go to Berlin tomorrow." I sigh and Noah nods. He already knew this. But after that kiss, we are both regretting my travel plans.

"So now you go to Berlin tomorrow." He repeats and pecks my lips a few more times. He may have been rusty during the talking portion of this date, but he is far from it right now.

"If I didn't share a room with my bodyguard..." I say boldly and Noah raises his eyebrows.

"Um... wow. One kiss is all it takes, hmm?" His face flushes right up, making me laugh. "Well, I share an apartment with my sister, her husband and a crying infant."

"I'm not usually this forward. I don't know what's gotten into me." I admit.

"And I can honestly say I've never had a one-night stand. Not that I want this to be a one-night stand. I married my high school sweetheart."  Aww. Something about that is so endearing. Noah leans into me and kisses my neck. Shit, he's gonna drive me crazy, isn't he?

"Noah.." I breathe out. "Did you drive here in that truck of yours?"

"Yes. But I'm not having sex with you in my truck." He presses his body into mine making it known he's just as turned on as I am.

"I have an idea."

*******

*James*

Tonight was a trying night for Julia. She didn't get her way, and we stopped her from making herself sick to feel the Ativan more.  Now she's in Nate's room having a virtual meeting with Jeremy and Nate set me up in the living room to facetime my sisters. All but Jennie are at my mom's. Jennie had to work tonight so couldn't stay into the evening like the rest of the girls.

Nate sits across from me on the big, oversized luxury chair. He first insisted he'd go in another room, but I don't care if he is right here in the living room or not.

"Oh my God, Jamie is that where you are staying right now?" Kendall can see the background of this very expensive presidential suite. "Show us around!"

"Ok." I pick up the phone but drop it.
"Oh my God. I'm sorry, Nate." I can't believe I just dropped his phone, but the way he throws these things around, he looks unfazed.

"Her, let me help you, Gallo." Nate picks up the phone and holds it. "I'll show you ladies around, yeah?"  I swear my sisters are all swooning over Nate Hollan being on the phone with them. It never gets old to the girls. Nate scans the large room with the phone and then takes it out to the balcony to show my sisters the view before propping the phone back up for me.

"I'm not showing you my bedroom. That's off limits." He teasingly flirts with the girls, and I think Gwen may have a stroke. I shake my head and laugh.

"How's Ma doing?" I ask, and the girls become quieter. "What??"

"Do you want me to go?" Nate whispers, but I furrow my brows and shake my head. He's fine.

"We had to take her to the emergency room the other day."

"What?!" My heart begins to race. "Katie, what happened?"

Katie begins to cry. What the hell is going on over there? Ashley takes the phone and walks into the other room.

"Hey. It's more Katie we're concerned about, not mom." She whispers, and both Nate and I look at each other.

"Well, mom too... But..." She pauses, "Katie was making a grilled cheese and forgot she was cooking. She left the stove on and apparently decided to go upstairs and start the laundry. Lunch caught on fire, and mom burnt her hand trying to put it out... with a dish towel. It caught on fire, too. Kendall was just walking into the house, thank God. She threw the pan and the towel in the sink and ran the faucet over it."

"Oh my God..." I throw my hand to my mouth.

"She's getting worse, Jamie. Katie.... she's getting worse." Ashley begins to cry and tears well up in my eyes. Katie is showing early signs of dementia just like mom.  "We're taking shifts staying over here but it's getting hard with work and shit. Katie was the one to take care of her twenty-four seven. Now..." Ashley chokes up and wipes her eyes.

"James. Give me the phone." Nate demands, and I look up at him. Did he not just see me drop the damn thing? And now, now I'm upset, and my hands aren't going to cooperate if I'm upset. Nate shakes his head, quickly remembering and sits on the couch so Ashley can see him.

"Ashley... right? Sorry. All you girls look the same." 

What is he doing??

"Yeah." She sniffs.

"Ok, Ashley. Would it help if I hired a nurse to come during the day to help care for your mom? And Katie?" Nate asks, and my eyes widen.

"Wha- what?" I stutter.

"I can't let you do that. You've already been helping us out so much financially." Ashley says, and her eyes dart from mine to Nate's.

"But if I DID hire a nurse, a good one, would you accept the help??"

Ashley begins to cry harder and nods. I feel my eyes ready to drain as well now.

"Ok, I'm going to talk to my personal nurse who is traveling with me. He will know of a few good candidates I can send your way. You can interview them yourselves and find the right fit for your mom and sister. Does that sound good? I will pay them well. They will take good care of you guys."

"I- oh my God... I need to go tell them. Love you Jamie, bye." Ashley quickly hangs up, and I'm a fricken mess.

"Hollan..." I croak out.

"James. I told you I would take care of your family. I keep my word. I'll text Jonah and get some contact information for people he knows at the hospital him and Casey worked at." 

I wipe my eyes and nod.

"I'm sorry to hear about your sister...." Nate says sympathetically. "We'll make sure she's taken care of." He pats my shoulder and stands up. "I'm gonna go check on Julia and text Jonah."

I watch Nate walk into his bedroom and close the door. He's going to hire a nurse to help the girls.  I look up to the ceiling as my eyes fill up and nod. "Thank you."

****

"Trisha...... what are we doing?" Noah turns his head while driving. I plugged the address of the venue into his GPS, and we are almost there.

"I'm not sure... drive around back." I tick my chin to the building. Noah drives around the stadium, and his eyes widen. 90 "Around the world" tour busses that travel with us are all parked, filling up the entire back lot.

"Hoe--ly shit." 

Park over there. Near that big tour bus. See it?" I point to our 'home', and he nods, parking right in front of it. I fumble through my purse to find my keys and hop out of Noah's truck.

I feel like a teenager right now.

Noah follows me to the entrance, and I unlock the door, letting him in first and then locking the door behind me. The tour bus has already been cleaned and ready for the next trip.

"Holy SHIT..." Noah blurts out again and looks around. "This ain't no bus. This is a luxury apartment on wheels!!"

"Noah......" I drop my keys on the counter and turn him around. He looks down at me and swallows hard, knowing what I want now.

"Um... I haven't ... I mean... I have, but... " Noah begins, but I shake my head. I know what he is saying. It's been a while. Maybe he's only been with his wife. Who knows. But I don't let him finish his sentence. I lean up and kiss him instead. He kisses me back with so much passion I forget all about his ex-wife and twin kids.

"Take this damn Nate Hollan Tour shirt off." I pull Noah's shirt up, and he takes his shirt off, throwing it on the ground.

Holy shit is right. Fireman Noah has a chiseled tan body, and I'm now all hot and bothered. He leans in and kisses me again feverishly. His hands slide under my top and trace the bottom hem of my bra. I lean back and quickly pull my top off and unhook my bra, letting it fall to the floor.

Noah's eyes darken, and he is no longer hesitant about this. He takes me in his mouth, and I let out a little moan and close my eyes as his tongue works its magic on my breast, then moving to the other side and doing the same to that one.

He doesn't miss a beat now, unbuttoning and pulling my jeans down and off. He drops to his knees and pulls my underwear down.

"Fuck." He whispers to himself right before attaching his mouth to my bare core.

His ex-wife was the biggest idiot in the world.

Everything Noah is doing feels amazing and I hit my high quickly from how he's working my nerves. Who knew I'd be doing this right here in Paris with some stranger?

"Are you sure about this?" He stands back up and pushes me against the small kitchen counter, lifting me up on to it as I unbutton his jeans. Note to self. Disinfect this counter before Nate comes in here. He'd have my head.

"Stop talking, Noah." I breathe out and he laughs against my neck, stepping out of his jeans and boxer briefs.

His ex-wife was a VERY VERY stupid woman....

*****

*James*

"Sorry to hear things are getting worse with Katie." 

Julia had her dose of her addiction and is calm.  She steps out onto the balcony to join me as I look out at the night view of Paris.

"He's gonna hire a nurse for us to help take care of them." I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and Julia wraps her arms around my waist.

"He's on the phone with Jonah right now." Julia says and leans her chin against my bicep to look up at me.

"This all seems so unreal." I continue. "We've never had anyone help us like this."

"He's a good man, James." She smiles up at me, feeling the effects of her Ativan tonight. She's calm and no longer shaking. Even with food in her system it worked. It's been hit or miss lately. Julia drops her forehead to my arm and shakes her head.

"Jeremy wants me start detox right away." She says nervously. "He said the longer I wait the harder it's gonna be. I don't know if I can do this again."

"You can, babe. You're so strong, you know that? Stronger than you think. Look at how much you've overcome.  And that's just this year. You are going to get through this."

"I'm scared, James!" Julia bursts and I quickly wrap my arms around her and hold her. "I'm so scared!"

"About detox?" I ask but she shakes her head.

"I'm scared I won't be able to stay clean. No matter what I do, eventually I end up back on this shit. I ... I can't keep going through this. I'm so tired, James. I'm so fucking tired."

******

*Trisha*

I had sex with Noah. I don't even know his last name. But I don't regret it. It was amazing. He was amazing. He wasn't rusty or inexperienced at all.

"Now what?" Noah asks the ongoing question tonight as we lay on the couch together, naked.

"Now... we get dressed." I laugh a little.

"I don't want this to be some one-night stand, Trisha. I really like you."  Noah strokes my back lightly while we come down from our highs.

"I don't want that either." I sigh, knowing I'm only in the first leg of our tour. I have no idea when we will return to France. Unlike Leslie, I don't have that shit memorized.

"Will you keep in touch with me while you're on the road??" He asks with a bit of concern. I nod and kiss his lips. He's so sweet with the way he says it. He really ISN'T in to one-night stands or a player.

"I promise." And I mean it.  "Ok, fireman. You put out the fire. Time to get dressed." I smirk and roll off his body. "I'm just gonna freshen up real quick. Give me ten minutes, ok?"

"Of course, take your time. I'm in no hurry. Colicky nephew remember?" He laughs as I scoop up my clothes and my purse and head to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and hang my purse up on the hook, taking out my make up bag. I touch up my makeup, use the bathroom and get dressed.

Within the hour I am back in my hotel room with Paul eyeing me from the recliner.

"What did you do, Banks?" He questions me like I'm a puppy getting reprimanded.

"Noah." I smirk and Paul shakes his head at me with a loud laugh. 

"You're insatiable."

*****

*James*

"Ok, you all set Moretti?" Paul looks down at Julia, ready to get on the road. But this won't be any road trip, and it certainly won't be a calm one for her. It will also be the first time we are apart this whole trip. I will be riding with Casey and the dog in the second tour bus. Everyone thinks it will be too stressful and to be honest. I'm a little relieved. 

Casey comes back from walking the dog and takes my suitcase for me.

"Are you sure you want to do this alone, babe?" I ask while watching Casey loads my suitcase and the dog in the other tour bus. We agreed this would be best. I'm comfortable with Casey caring for me. She's a good nurse and has had to step in plenty of times when Julia was able to take care of herself, nevermind another person. And I have my Maggie with me.

"Positive. This is for the best. Believe me." Julia hugs me and nervousness sets in. 

"Hey, don't cry sweetie. It will all be ok."  I peck her lips lightly and wait for her to nod before I walk on the other bus with Casey and the dog.

This tour bus is the same as the other one. An apartment on wheels. I used to be envious of Nate Hollan with the life he lives and the money he has when I would work my ass off and still had to choose what bills to pay and what bills to ignore every week. I'm no longer jealous of the man though. Not now that I know him. The real Nate. I see his life. I see how everything is always put on display for the world to see and nothing is private. I see the stress that goes along with needing to live up to other people's standards. I see the way management controls his every move, and he gets pushed and pulled in every direction. He can't make his own choices. He can't live life or date who he wants without backlash.

 He can't let his body go and believe me when I say this.... I don't take this lightly...... whether Nate sees it or not he most definitely has an eating disorder. Not like Julia. No. But he goes to extreme measure to make sure he is eating a low-fat, low-calorie diet. It's very rare to see the man eating anything but grilled chicken, fish and salad. He went overboard with drinking protein shakes and bulking up for that damn music video but, even though he kept most of those muscles, he's back to eating a very lean diet with no cheat days allowed. 

You will never see him eat a Snickers bar or enjoy a bowl of ice cream or chips. Not Nate. He says it's to stay heart healthy, but one candy bar is not going to give you a heart attack. He does more damage to his heart with the stress he puts on himself. And at one time...all that alcohol.  Both Trisha and I take great care of our bodies and workout religiously, but you won't see either of us pass up a taco or a greasy cheeseburger. And Trisha is a popcorn addict. It's her go-to snack. and if anyone is going to have health issues it's not us. Hell, it'd be Jonah. He houses food like he's not guaranteed his next meal, and he is tall, lean and muscular like Nate.

So no, I'm no longer envious of Nate and the things he has. But I AM grateful he has included me in his life and takes care of all of us the way he does. And I'm sure as hell very grateful to be on this tour bus and not the one that holds the bipolar woman ready to detox. Love her so much but that's something I just can't handle. I'm not good with that stuff. Nate can take the cake for that one. He takes great care of Julia.

*****
*Trisha*

Oh my God. I've been looking high and low for my purse since the moment we boarded this flight with no luck. After a good twenty minutes I remembered.

Shit. Oh my God. SHIT!

When I had sex with Noah. On the tour bus.... Afterwards I went into the bathroom to touch up my make up. I hung my purse on the hook. I fucking left my purse on the tour bus! I left my purse with my Ativan on the same bus Julia is currently in! What if she finds it? Of course she's going to find it. It's hanging right on the hook in Nate's bathroom.

I'm so screwed. I have to tell Nate. I have to.  But I'm not letting him know I had sex on his multimillion-dollar tour bus. I need to come up with something different.

Nate is going to kill me. Murder me. Hide my body in a duffel bag somewhere and throw me in a dumpster once we land. And I deserve it. God, I can't even remember if I ever told him I take the fast-acting anxiety med every once in a while. I'm sure I have. Maybe not...

I have to tell him. The sooner the better.

 I slide into the booth where Jonah and Nate are sitting to eat lunch. But Nate can tell something is up. He's good like that.

"Spill it, Banks."  Nate chuckles a little while eating lunch. This is nothing to 'chuckle' about. I can literally feel the color drain from my face. I feel like I may puke right here and now. 

"I...I think I left my purse on the tour bus." I stammer.

"So? We'll get it tomorrow."

"I switched purses to match my red dress." I lie and look down at my hands. I have trouble looking into Nate's eyes when lying. I

"No big deal, doll. You know where it is, at least. Why are you so concerned? You can get your wallet tomorrow."

I feel lightheaded. 

"You ok?" Jonah stops feeding his face, now showing concern. 

"Nate..." I swallow hard. "M-my medicine is in that purse."

"What... birth control? Trish, you said you had some IUS thing or IUD. Anyways.... unless you -"

"Ativan Nate." I burst. Nate freezes. Jonah drops his fork.

"What?!" Nate is clearly pissed and for good reason.

"A new prescription, Nate. A full bottle. 30 one milligram pills."

"Oh no." Jonah swallows hard. "We need to get a hold of Paul before Julia finds your bag."

"Thirty pills? That would kill her. Why the hell are you carrying that around and don't have it in the locked bag?! Sonofabitch Trisha!! What the hell!!!" Nate yells at me and I cover my face with my hands now crying.

"I'm not always with Jonah. I don't take them often but on tour...it can get stressful. I wanted to make sure I had my medicine with me at all times."

We watch Nate practically jump out of the booth to grab his phone to text Paul. He begins to pace the cabin, and Jonah takes my hand to console me a little.

"I can't believe you, Trisha." Nate throws daggers for eyes at me when Paul doesn't get back to him right away and stomps to the back of the cabin where his room is, sliding the door closed.

"Don't take it personally, Trisha." Jonah tries to help.

"I wasn't even thinking!!! I'd never do something like that on purpose. I don't even take the medication that often. Only when Nater fucks up and I have to clean up his mess."

"That's pretty often." Jonah tries to make a joke but I just cry.  Nate is so pissed off at me.

Paul isn't the greatest with checking his phone, texting back or keeping it charged so I'm not surprised an hour goes by and Nate still hasn't heard back from him. Paul may only be 45 but is VERY old school in some that sense. The man still reads a fucking newspaper every day!

"Maybe it's because we're in the air?" Jonah asks, equally concerned now that we haven't heard back from Paul. Nate ignores him and begins to spurt out concerns of his own now.

"What would happen if she found the bottle?" Panic is laced in his question, and I have been anything but calm since tell Nate. I've flat out cried the entire flight and now in the bathroom trying to calm myself down before we land.

"Her addiction is so strong right now, Nate. Hard to answer that." I hear Jonah reply. He's beating around the bush.

"Try." Nate snaps.

"She wouldn't be thinking clearly..." He dances around the question.

"Jonah... " 

"She'd down the whole bottle without a second thought. Just like you and I would down a whole bottle of whiskey."

I look at myself in the mirror and shake my head.

"Fuck."

******