*Trisha*

It's been five days since Nate was admitted to the hospital here in Boston. Five days not on tour.

"Talk to me, Trisha. What's happening over there?" Leslie asks via our Zoom meeting. 

I'm finding it hard to focus in this small, empty conference room at the hospital, with Evan stationed by the door as my bodyguard. Outside, things are chaotic as a reporter who managed to sneak in is currently being arrested.

"Sorry, what was that?" I turn the volume up on my laptop.

"Tour. What's going on for tour?"

"I imagine we will be on the road soon. Nate will have to take it slow, but it will be fine.  It will all work out. Where are we supposed to be right now?"

I watch Leslie flip through her binder in her hotel room before answering.

"Burlington, Vermont." Leslie answers, but something is distracting her as well, by the way she keeps looking off to the side.

"Ok, that's a few hours' drive. I'm sure Nate will be discharged soon, and then we can all head up that way," I pause. "Is someone there with you?"

"Here?" Leslie smirks a little. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you're paying attention to whatever is happening beyond your laptop, and you look all hot and bothered right now." I raise a brow at her.

"Oh, yeah. Jack, the lighting engineer guy, is here," Leslie says nonchalantly.

"The lighting engineer guy from the tour??" I'm baffled but not. This is Leslie we're talking about here.

"Yeah. I got bored. Listen, gotta cut our meeting short. We'll touch base once Nate is discharged."

"God, you are the female version of Nate, you know that?" I roll my eyes.

"Byeeee." Leslie ends the Zoom call, and I close my laptop.

"She's planning to sleep her way through the backstage crew, isn't she?" I mutter to myself. "At least someone's getting laid around here."

"Ma'am?"

I flinch and look back at Evan. The L.L. Bean model and his fucking perfect beard smirk at me, and I feel my face get hot.

"SHIT. Forgot you were there, Scofield. You're too damn quiet all the time."

"It's part of my job. Being quiet." He shrugs.

"Yeah, yeah." I wave him off and sigh. "Caffeine, I need caffeine." I abruptly kill the conversation and head for the door. The door the bodyguard is leaning against.

"Whoa, not so fast." Evan stands up straight and puts a hand on my waist, stopping me from exiting. I freeze, feeling his strong hand on me, and look up. What's happening....

Our eyes meet, and he just stares at me for a moment, saying nothing. Is the caveman actually gonna make a move on me?

Evan puts his other hand to his ear, and his eyes fall to the ground, like he's concentrating on something.

"Yes, sir. Will do."

I furrow my brows, and then it hits me- Evan has his damn earpiece in! He's talking to another bodyguard that sonofabitch!  And here I thought- ugh- never mind! I huff to myself.

"Sorry, we need to wait a bit longer. The police are escorting someone off this floor. It's chaos out there," he says, then his eyes fall to my hip, realizing his hand is still resting on my waist. Pins and needles shoot through me just from his touch. Christ, I am so attracted to this man it's ridiculous.

Evan's chest rises and falls heavily as he pulls his hand back, his eyes meeting mine. I want to friggen climb the man like a tree and have my way with him. Doesn't he see that? No, he doesn't. He's just like Paul-work always comes first. When he's working, nothing else crosses his mind. He's completely focused on the job.

"Evan..." I gaze up at the man.

"Ok, Roger that."

For fuck's sake! I'm gonna pull that earpiece out and shove it up his-

"All set, ma'am." Evan opens the door and guides me down the hall to the cafeteria. Though the room is busy, the first person I notice is Jonah. Him and that never-ending pit of his.

"Tapeworm, Jonah Marshall. You may want to check those issues out." I snort and grab a tray

"I don't have any issues, just high metabolism." He shrugs me off.

Both Evan and I follow Jonah to the coffee bar. The guys pour hot coffee into their Styrofoam cups while I dip a teabag in mine. Evan remains on high alert, scoping the place out before leading us to an empty table.

"Relax, caveman. No one is here for me. They all want Nate." 

"People are crazy, Trisha. You're Nate's personal assistant," He pulls a chair out for me, and I sit down, not quite used to this old-fashioned chivalry. These days, you're lucky if someone holds the door open for you.

"Yeah..and.."

"You're the closest thing to Nate Hollan, remember?" Jonah declares, keeping his voice down so we don't draw attention. "We've been over this before. You are the one who knows every single little thing about the guy. The way he likes his tea, the brand of toothpaste he prefers..."

"Yeah, yeah, the brand of condoms he uses, I get it alright?" I roll my eyes. "Never mind, scratch that last one. Vasectomy."

"No...don't scratch that one. It hasn't been six weeks, and he hasn't been to the urologist to give a sample."

"Say what now?" My eyes widen and bounce from Evan's to Jonah's.

"A sample, you know... a sperm sample. They have to check to make sure he is sterile. It can take weeks, sometimes longer, for those suckers to die off." Jonah explains, catching me off guard.

"Wait...so..he goes there and..... gives them a sample?" I ask curiously. "How?"

"How do you think?" Jonah takes a big bite of his sandwich, not bothered by the conversation where whereas I can tell Evan wants to be anywhere but at this table right now.

"Like, he brings the sample in or something?"

"Why are we having this discussion?" Evan asks.

"What!? I genuinely want to know!!" 

"No, you have to provide the sample on the spot. You can't bring it from home." Jonah is gearing up to go into full nurse mode with his detailed explanations, but I keep cutting him off with more questions as I sip my tea.

"So he has to..you know..there?! In the doctor's office??"

"Well, they have a collection room. You know, the "Honeymoon Suite."  He raises his hands in quotation marks, and Evan practically falls off his chair.

"Oh God," Evan mutters.

"Why are you so edgy? You said you had a va-" I stare at the bodyguard.

"I didn't go and talk about it!"

"Anyways, I want to know about this collection room. How do they just expect you to... perform... on the spot?"

"Trish, it doesn't take much. Plus, the room has all the essentials needed. A vinyl "love" seat, a magazine rack with a variety of classic adult magazines,"

"Christ." Evan drags his hands down his face, but Jonah continues.

"A TV and DVD player with several adult movie options."

I raise my eyebrows hearing this. "A porn room to jack off in?"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph." 

"Oh, don't be so uptight, Scofield. I'm intrigued." I smile over at him. "So Nate has to go and... give a sample? And he hasn't yet?"

"We've been a little busy on the road. But you're right. At the next stop on tour, I will schedule him an appointment with the local urology department. They can test his sample and send the results to his doctor."

I lean back in my chair and ponder for a few minutes.

"Oh God, she's thinking about the room."  Evan lifts his eyes to the ceiling like this is painful for him.

"No, I'm actually thinking about whether he has been with anyone, so there. Get your mind out of the gutter, Evan..." I scoff.

No, Nate hasn't been with anyone. We've been busy on the road, so there hasn't been an opportunity. The only person he could have slipped up with is...

I glance over at Jonah, who keeps his focus on the sandwich he's eating, deliberately avoiding my gaze.

"He didn't sleep with Mila Giovanni at any point during this tour, did he?"

Jonah lifts his eyes and points to his chest. "Me? You're asking me? Trish, that is a question you should ask Nate, not me."

"He tells you everything."

"And he tells you everything. Ask him yourself." Jonah doesn't budge. The guy who thrives on everyone else's personal tea won't share a word when it comes to Nate, will he?

"You're a trustworthy man, Jonah."I sigh, but I'm happy Nate has a true friend in Jonah.

"Are we done talking about Hollan's sperm counts?" Evan's eyes me and I nod nonchalantly.

"Yep. All done. C'mon hot stuff. Let's get back up to the room."

Evan escorts Jonah and me back to Nate's hospital suite, and all I can think about are ways to kill Nate if he had unprotected sex with Mila during this tour. She'll be back with us once he's out of the hospital. He either needs to stay away or get that sample in. He was an absolute nightmare when I was pregnant with his child, and I know it'll be even worse if it happens again...especially with Mila. Might as well hand Julia the noose now and get it over with.

*****

*James*

Every once in a while, I feel like I'm right there. Right on the edge of reality. I feel things. Hear things. Someone else takes care of my body often. A nurse. She gets me ready for the day.

I can hear Julia's voice, but can't respond. Everything remains black. But I can feel. And I feel Julia kiss my lips. I know it's her.

"I'll see you in a little while, sweetie. But it's ok if you want to wake up while I'm gone." 

I'm trying.

"Moretti," Paul says. "Let's go."

And just like that, I'm back on the beach. On the beach with my boy, watching him build sandcastles.

*****

*Trisha*

Evan, Jonah, and I walk into the suite together, and I immediately notice that Nate barely touched his food. The frustrated look on Casey's face makes it clear she's already been on his case about it. Before I have a chance to say anything, he speaks up.

"Trish, can you call Holly to make me look less dead for tonight? She's still in town, right?"

"What the hell is tonight??" I furrow my brows in confusion.

"Elliott's press conference. They are going to have me join in for some of it."

All eyes are wide now. Nate's going to join the press conference? The live press conference? From his damn hotel room?

"To show the world I'm fine and will be out of here soon."  He continues, and it makes sense. Once Nate assures his fans he will be back on tour, things will calm down.

"Yeah, ok. And yes. Everyone is still in town. The whole crew. Richard told them to go nowhere yet until we know what's going on. When you are a little stronger, we will catch up on the tour... New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine. Richard has agreed to cut down on your daily agenda."

I don't bother telling Nate that Richard has no fucking idea about this. Leslie is the one who adjusted Nate's daily agenda. We'll deal with Richard once we're back in L.A. I want the rest of Nate's tour to go smoothly. I want him to actually enjoy it because I know he does. Being on that stage is the one thing that truly makes Nate happy.

*****

"Hey, Holly. C'mon in." I smile over at my longtime friend and co-worker as Evan lets her in. She is carrying a suitcase that I know is filled with all of Nate's favorite products and is ready to make him look less... dead..

We chat for a bit while she gets Nate ready, and one of his tour technicians sets up his laptop perfectly for his live session.

But something seems to have Nate on edge. He looks... nervous, which is so unlike him. With years of media training and a love for the spotlight, he's usually confident. So why does he look like he's about to lose his dinner?

"Why are you so nervous? You've done this a million times." I finally ask when I see the way Holly keeps dabbing the sweat off his forehead while doing his makeup.

"I'm not nervous, it's just the fever." Lies. His fever broke days ago.

"Mr. Hollan!" Dr. Simms is allowed into the room by the security outside with a huge smile on his face. He's holding Nate's chart. "Looks like you are out of the woods, son. It was a small infection, and your bloodwork looks perfect now. How are you feeling?"

"Ready to get outta here, mate." 

"Well, there's no reason you can't. Tomorrow morning, we will get the discharge paperwork started, and a nurse will go over everything before you are released."

"Really?" Both Jonah and Nate say at the same exact time.

"Really." He smiles brightly before walking back out of the suite. Excitement fills me that we can finally get back to doing what we love. 

"That's great news, Nate! I'll call Richa-"

"Wait." Nate shakes his head at me. "Just wait till after the press conference."

"Ohhh-kaay." I squint my eyes at him but drop it, knowing it's almost time for him to go on-air.

"Sir, we've got you all set up." The technician says.

"Mr. Hollan, you are good to go." Holly twists a few locks of hair up into place and gives Nate a wink. "Perfect."

"Thanks, Holl. What would I do without you?"

"Look like death, that's what." She laughs, packs up her things quickly, and leaves.

"She's a godsend that one." I nod and direct Nate to sit. I sit next to him and we wait for the call. 

The news shows a live feed of a modest auditorium with muted stage lights in L.A. Dozens of journalists sit quietly, cameras poised. Elliott steps up to the podium, a folded paper in his hand. Flashes go off as he looks out over the room.

"Thank you all for coming in on such short notice. As you know, Nate Hollan has been struggling with his health for some time now." Elliott begins.

"Ready, Nate??" I jump up and out of the way when the computer starts connecting. Jonah quickly turns off the TV, and all eyes are on Nate. The whole world. All watching Nate.

Elliott points to the massive screen on the wall, "He's live now," Elliott says with a hint of relief in his voice. "And would like to speak to his fans directly."

There is instant movement...chairs scraped, heads turned, a murmur rippling through the room. Whispers swelled into gasps. 

"Hey mates. Thank you so much for tuning in. I know things have been a little....hectic these days. I'm not used to seeing my name in the headlines like this." He jokes, and a rumble of laughter erupts from his sarcasm. "Just wanted to let you all know, I'm doing brilliantly. The surgeons, nurses, everyone here...absolute legends. I'm so grateful for the care I've been receiving here at Mass. General."  He glances up at me and gives me a nod.

"I'll keep this short...but real. It's no secret that these past few shows haven't felt the same. I've pushed through out of love for the music, for this tour, and especially for you... My people."

Wait... That wasn't the speech he was practicing earlier. I frown, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

"But after talking with my doctors and my team, I've decided to end the Around The World Tour early. We won't be completing the final leg of the shows."

I freeze. Stop breathing. My jaw drops. Literally drops, and I suddenly feel nauseous.  He's decided to-.

I'm jolted back to reality as both my phone and Nate's start pinging, prompting Jonah and me to scramble to grab them and quickly silence the noise. But my tears sting my eyes while doing so, and the lump in my throat feels unbearable. Jonah looks just as shocked as I do, which means Nate didn't even let Jonah in on this secret.

"As you guys already know, I was recently diagnosed with a condition that needs my full focus and time to manage. I can't give less than everything on stage, and right now, everything has to go toward healing. You know I love being up on that stage. More than anything in the world. But not more than living. Right now, I need to focus on living. Healing. Getting better so I can get back up there and give you all I've got. And to everyone who made it out to a show...supported me...my fans- thank you. You gave me the best moments of my life. And for those who didn't yet....you'll be the reason I come back. Music has always healed me. I hope now it gives me the strength to come back. This isn't goodbye. It's a 'see you when I'm stronger.' Love you all."

I'm fucking crying right now, standing on the sidelines and having a fucking breakdown. I can't believe Nate did this—and without even telling us? Without telling me? Oh my God. What am I going to tell Leslie? I just told her we would be ready to get back on the road soon. What am I going to say to Richard? His sponsors? The promos? 

This is a huge mistake, and I don't even realize the live session is over until Nate pulls me in and holds me against him.

"I'm sorry, angel. This had to be done." He whispers into my hair. He's not fucking sorry. He's breaking every single contract he signed, and he doesn't fucking give two shits, does he?

This is bound to backfire, and it's definitely heading into legal territory now. I'm gonna have to call his lawyers.

The list goes on and on while I stand frozen in Nate's arms. He hugs me and whispers to me, but all I hear is static. My mind races, spiraling deeper into the noise. Nate's arms feel like both a cage and a shield. I want to pull away, run somewhere far, somewhere quiet, but my legs won't budge. 

It's over? The Around The World Tour is.....over?

*******