*Trisha*

"She wants nothing to do with me." Nate walks out of the bedroom.

"Well, is she gonna go to the game tonight? I already bought the tickets. Everyone's excited." I frown while watching Nate close his bedroom door. Julia is asleep thanks to the Ativan so now we get to wait until it wears off. What a waste of a day.

"Let's just see how she is when she wakes up. The game's not till 7:30 tonight." 

"Well, you DO realize no matter what happens with Moretti, you HAVE to be up on that stage tomorrow. The show must go on, regardless of what's going on here." I remind him.  

"Well aware, Trisha."

"So now what's gonna happen?" James asks Jonah nervously.

"Donovan thinks we should keep her on a low dose of Ativan. She doesn't have access to it. Only I do. She's gonna have to be on it for a while. There's just too much going on in her head... and then with this dipshit.." Jonah scoffs and shakes his head. "It's for the best to keep her calm. We will do detox at a later date. Like...... months later date."

"This is unreal." James stands up and heads to his room and slams the door behind him.

"You really fucked up, Playboy."

"Again, well aware."

 I get up and head to James's room. He's clearly pissed off at Nate. I need to smooth things over. Again.

"Hey. You ok?" I sit on the edge of his bed and watch James pace.

"I can't believe she's back on that shit. And I can't believe Nate did this . I can't watch Julia shut down the way she shut down because of Mila. She stopped taking care of herself. Trisha you saw it. It was awful."

"I know. I really thought this whole Mila thing was over. I had no idea. But listen.. we're gonna make the best of the situation, ok? We always do."

"She's never gonna trust him again. Nate knows this, right? All that crap with Luke and Nicole...this is gonna mess with her head. And now back on the Ativan? She's gonna have to go through detox again. What the hell was Nate thinking!" James continues to pace, nervous about his best friend. I can't blame him there.

Nate really fucked up.

*****

*James*

 It's four in the afternoon and Julia is just now waking up. She comes out of the bedroom and gets everyone's attention

"I need a drink. Paul....You must know your way around here."

"You can't drink Julia..." Jonah sits up straight but Paul gives Julia a nod.

"Fucking stop me, Jonah. I dare you." Julia is pissed already.

"Ok." Paul stands up.

"Are you serious right now? The medication may still be in her system." Jonah is not ok with this.

"It's been hours. I'll make sure she doesn't drink too much." The bodyguard looks over at me. "Come with us."

Don't gotta tell me twice. I nod and we follow Paul out to the parking garage.

"You know how to drive on the opposite side like this?" I ask Paul when I see the wheel is on the right side of the car. Paul nods and Julia helps me buckle in.

The pub is nothing like Sullivan's Tap. It's not busy at all and kinda dingy looking.

"You can't get wasted, Moretti." Paul looks down at her while holding the door open. We find a small table in the back and she orders whiskey. Paul takes a deep breath and orders me a beer. "I mean it. One or two drinks to take the edge off. Got it?"

"Yes sir." Julia is all sarcasm today. The waitress comes back with our drinks and Julia helps me hold my beer. She then downs her glass of whiskey in record timing.

"One more and that's it. Pace yourself." Paul raises his eyebrows at Julia.

"You sure you're ok, babe?" I ask.

"I'm not marrying a liar. I can't go through that again. I just can't." Tears well up in her eyes now. 

"He made a mistake." Paul mutters while sipping his beer.

"Maybe I just need time away from all men.  I don't care if it was a big or small lie, it was a lie about Mila. He knew better. That stung." Julia says and both me and Paul nod in agreement.

"So now what?" I ask.

"Now, We go to a goddamn soccer game tonight." Julia huffs and orders another whiskey.

"Even with everything that's going on?" I sip my beer and watch her down her second glass of whiskey. I can tell it did nothing for her but Paul isn't gonna give in. He doesn't want her to get drunk, especially with  Benzos in her system.

"I'm not gonna ruin it for everyone else. Anyway, Danny would have loved going to a Premiere League game. He'd want me to enjoy this. So that's what I'm gonna do. But don't expect me to say two words to Nate tonight.

*****

Julia wasn't kidding. She didn't even glance at Nate one time throughout the entire 90 minute game. Hell she even ordered a shot of whiskey, used HIS credit card, and drank it with him right in the room. That's how pissed Julia is at Nate tonight.

"You're faking it but thank you. I'm glad you decided to come." I put my arm around Julia and she rests her head on my shoulder.

"How do you always know when I'm faking it?"

"I can just tell. I know you, Julia. Better than anyone else here. Does this mean you're going to the concert tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, I'm going. I'm gonna do everything that we planned on doing. I am just gonna avoid him. I can't even look at him right now." She can feel Nate looking at her. "And I'd REALLY FUCKING LIKE IT if he stopped STARING AT ME right now!"

Everyone is on edge while trying to enjoy the game.

*****

*Trisha*

"Nate, what are we doing?"  I lay on Nate's bed but he rolls over to the other side. We made it through the soccer game but it wasn't easy. All this hard work I put into making this fun for everyone and fucking Nate has to go ahead and tick Moretti off. To the point she is sleeping on the couch and not in here with him.

"What do you mean?" Nate muffles into his pillow.

"Do I need to book her a flight home?"

"Home to what...to who? Jeremy? C'mon Trish, lets be real here."

"I AM being real here. Regardless of what happens with her, you have an agenda. You have a lot of people counting on you. Are you gonna be able to go up on that stage and perform tomorrow night? Are you gonna even fucking enjoy it? We've worked so hard to get here!" I begin to get emotional now and Nate turns towards me.

"I'm gonna do fine tomorrow night. I'm gonna perform just fine, and interact with the crowd, and do everything as planned, ok? Eventually this will have to blow over."

"And if it doesn't? She already took the ring off, Nate. You fucked up with your lies. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't. Can we not talk about this anymore tonight? I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it."

I nod and give Nate his space. I'm not tired so I sit out on the balcony. Apparently Paul isn't tired either. He is sitting out here staring off into space.

"What did Hollan say?" Paul moves over on the small couch and I plop down next to him.

"He knows he fucked up."

"She can't handle this shit. And now Gallo is worried about her too. None of this is going as planned."

"You don't think I know that?!" I cover my face and let out my tears, catching Paul by surprise. I feel him rub my back while I let it all out. "Years. I worked my ass off for YEARS making this tour happen. He meets Julia and everything gets flushed down the fucking toilet."

"It's not Julia's fault." Paul defends her. "This one is all Nate."

"He's such an ASS." I cry, grateful to have Paul out here with me.

*****

*James*

I wake up hyperventilating and can't remember where I am for a minute. That was the worst dream yet. It felt so real. I rub the scar on my wrist and remind myself what Joe did to me was years ago.  I need to keep reminding myself he is not near me but it's hard when you have such a vivid PTSD nightmare like that one. The abuse is unforgettable and some nights are just  bad. Tonight was pretty bad.

"Mags..." I call for my dog in the dark and realize she is already in the bed, at my feet. "Mags, c'mere girl."

My dog inches up closer to me and I scruff her ears for her. I start to breath slower while petting Maggie and eventually calm down. "You're such a good therapy dog, you know that?" 

It's like she knows I'm calm now. She  makes her way back down to where she was laying but doesn't jump off the bed, just in case I need her again. She falls asleep down near my feet and I lay back down.

The bedroom door opens and I see Julia standing in the doorway holding her pillow. She's upset.

"Hey babe." I whisper.

"You're awake.." She comes in and closes the door.

"Bad dream."

"Can I lay with you?"  She sniffs, making it known she's been crying. 

"Of course you can. You never have to ask permission for that." I move over a little and Julia climbs into bed with me.

"I'm so sad, James." 

"I know, sweetie. C'mere." I wrap my arms around her and Julia cries until she eventually falls asleep. This must be awful for her. All of this. She already goes through so much in that head of hers. Why she puts up with Nate's shit will always baffle me. But all I can do is be here for her. Be her friend and here when she needs me. Because right now.. Julia needs someone she can trust.

It sure as hell isn't Nate Hollan.

*****

*Trisha*

"Tonight's the night!!" I say with excitement. Everyone is all down and out  and I'm not having it this morning. 

"Too early.." Paul grumbles and pours him and James coffee.

"Aww Paulie. Drink your coffee, you moody bastard." I wink at him and turn to Nate. He looks like shit. His eyes and lips are puffy from crying and he has a sad drawn look to his face.

"Are you excited Nate? The first night of tour!!" I'm really trying hard here. Everyone needs to snap out of their funk. I slam my coffee cup down and get everyone's attention now.

"Ok people. We are NOT fucking doing this today, you hear me?" I stand up and yell at everyone around the table. "I've worked WAY too damn hard to have you all moping around over this shit. So you're ALL gonna fucking get over yourselves, self medicate if you fucking have to and enjoy this fucking day. You hear me? Because the show is happening tonight no matter what."

I sit back down, clearly flustered.

"I'm excited for the concert." Julia is the first to respond. "I haven't been to a concert in years."

"There we go! THANK you, Julia." I sigh in relief.

"But I will be self medicating, Jonah..." Julia looks across to the nurse and all the color drains from his face.

"Every four hours, Julia. The smallest dose. That's all you can get." He reminds her and shakes his head at Nate. Because Nate did this.

"Better than nothing." Julia continues and then goes a step further to stick it to Nate.

 "James, when you're done eating I will help you shower."

 When James is finished eating Julia takes his hand and escorts him to the bathroom. Nate drops his fork on his plate and shoves his palms in his eyes. 

"Fuck."

"You did this, playboy. Let it go. You have a big night to focus on." I begin to clean up breakfast.

"Jonah, how much caffeine can I take today? I didn't sleep at all."

"Seriously?" I glare at Nate. "You realize you're gonna need all the energy in the fucking world to get through three hours on that stage. You didn't sleep?"

"God damn it, look at me Trisha! You think I'm fucking ready to perform tonight?" 

"Ok, you know what? It's seven thirty in the morning. I'm gonna give you an Ativian. Sleep until noon. That's what time we are to be heading out correct?" Jonah looks at me and I nod. "When you wake up, you can have one cup of strong coffee and then right before you go on stage you can have half of another cup. HALF. That's it. And only because you are going to need the energy tonight. Let's go." Jonah gets up and Nate follows him to his room.

"This is ridiculous. Is everyone gonna  be doped up all day? Is that what we do now? I might as well go snort cocaine with Leslie at this rate." I burst and both Paul and Casey sport a shocked look on their faces.

"Oh please, you couldn't tell? She walks faster than I do and gets things done quicker than anyone in the world. She is always so fucking high. If its not Coke then it's Adderall."

"Jeeze. Is this really what celebrity life is like?" Casey asks.

"Girl....you have noo idea."

*James*

Julia helps me undress and to my surprise she does as well. She pulls me into the shower with her and helps me wash my hair. I can't help but look down at her body and then roll my eyes a little. Julia keep things neat but she shaved EVERYTHING for this occasion. She doesn't normally do that. Trisha does, but not Julia. She's not high maintenance like  that.

"I see you went all out for this trip."

"Yeah, Sooo wasn't worth it, and now my skin's itchy and irritated." She responds and I laugh and shake my head at her. 

"Just be yourself, Julia. You're trying to change into something else. Someone else."

"Yeah, big mistake. I'm not enjoying this trip. Not at all." Julia sighs.

"I can tell. What's gonna happen? Are we going home?" I asked, concerned what's gonna happen from here on out.

"Not unless you want to, James. I plan on taking advantage of this opportunity regardless of Nate being an idiot. I'm not gonna ruin it for everyone else. Do you want to go home?"

"You're my home, Julia.. " I wrap my arms around her. "I want to be wherever you are."

*****

Julia helps me get ready for the concert and then goes off to get herself ready.  And when she comes out of the bathroom, she catches EVERYONE'S attention. 

Julia walks out of the bathroom in the hall wearing black leather pants, black stiletto high heels, and a deep red tank top. But not just any tank top. The spaghetti straps crisscross down her back and tie like a corset. The fabric is lace and must have some kind of built-in bra because there are no bra straps, but Julia is all cleavage. She has straightened her hair so it looks much longer than usual, down her back, and her make-up is light. All but bold red lipstick that brings out her perfect lips.

"Holy shit Julia. I don't remember Holly picking out this outfit. You look amazing!" Trisha claps her hands once and both her and Casey look over Julia.

I look over to Nate and the guy looks like he can't even breathe. Serves him right. Julia is gonna rub it in his face now. Good for her.

"Oh my gosh, I love this!" Casey says. "You look so good!"

"I have your outfit ready to go in the dressing room. You'll shower and change at the Venue and then Holly will get you set." Trish reminds Nate. "Drink that coffee, playboy. You're gonna need it."

Once at the venue we notice a crowd already forming out front and the doors don't even open for another four hours. Paul and I go into bodyguard mode and escort Nate and Julia into the building. Even though they are no longer together the public doesn't know it. Not only that, the haters who want Nate with Mila make it known Julia will need a bodyguard for protection. We used a separate side entrance so no one would see us.

Once inside the room Nate sits down right next to Julia and I let out a sigh. He's not gonna give her the space she needs, is he?

"I texted Mila to let her know it's over, wished her well and then blocked her number."

"'Bout time." Julia responds coldly.

"Jule."

"Nate. It's over. Please... Just go and do your thing tonight. We're not together." She stands up and walks over to the catering table. Nate, of course, follows her. I can't hear what they are saying now but whatever it is, is putting Julia on edge. He talks even softer once everyone else starts coming into the room. But Julia starts crying. She brings her plate over to the table and Nate again, follows her.

Whatever is going on is throwing Julia off. Both me and Paul notice it right way. She looks around the room anxiously now.

"I need another dose." She says out loud. Another dose? Jonah just gave her a dose not long ago. Maggie drags Casey, who is holding her leash, to Julia and the the dog sits on the floor looking up at her. She can sense Julia isn't well.

"Not now, Maggie." Julia says in a panic and I raise a brow at her. "One dose wasn't enough. Where's Jonah?"

"Jonah already gave you a dose of Ativan, Julia. You have to wait four hours." Casey says.

"Julia.." Nate takes Julia's hand but she pulls away fast.

"Don't touch me. Where's the black bag? The first dose didn't work, I need-"

"Hey. You ok?" I walk over to help Julia.

"I need more meds, James! It didn't work." She bursts into tears and Maggie starts barking. She's making her nervous.

"Not now Maggie!" Julia yells at my dog who then whimpers and scurries to me. I kneel down to pet her but glare up at Julia now.

"Don't yell at her, Julia. You're scaring her. C'mon Mags." I glare at Julia and take the leash from Casey. Mags is a good dog. She doesn't deserve to get yelled and and sure as hell doesn't need to feel nervous around people. As it is we are dragging the poor thing all over the world with us and she's not used to that. She's used to being home. Just like I am.

I know Julia can't help it but her snapping at Maggie rubbed me the wrong way and Julia knows it.

*****
*Trisha*

I walk in to an apparent shit show. I walk in to see Julia shut down in Nate's arms. Leslie is right next to me too. How fucking embarrassing.

"Nate. You gotta go."  I say and then turn to Leslie. "I think the time change is doing a number on her. She'll get used to it." I cover for the crazy and we walk to Nate's dressing room. He showers real quick while Holly sets up her vanity.

"Nate's vocal coach should be here any minute. I'll go meet her at the door." I quickly leave Leslie's side and close the door behind me.

If Moretti has a fucking meltdown in front of Nate's manager I won't be able to cover for her. I take a deep breath before rummaging through my purse for my own damn Ativan now. The things Nate puts me through. Unreal. I meet Nora, Nate's vocal coach in the lobby and show her the way before I head to the game room.

"How is she??" I whisper to Paul who is standing by the door in his usual bodyguard pose. We watch Casey talking to Julia and helping touch up her make up.

"She didn't sleep long but she's calm. That's all we can ask for right now." Paul grumbles. I make Nate a cup of hot tea with honey, knowing he is going to need that before singing and Jonah pours half a cup of black coffee for me to give to Nate for the caffeine. I walk back into the dressing room and first hand Nate his cup of tea.

"And this. Jonah said you can only have half a cup." I put down the cup of coffee and Nate nods to me while working with the vocal coach. I sit down in the chair next to him and begin to talk, knowing Nate is wondering what's happening in the other room.

"She didn't sleep long but seems calm now. Casey is helping her touch up her make-up, but I'm not sure where her head's at. James is in the room, but I think he's a little pissed at her for yelling at Maggie. He's sitting on the couch petting the dog instead of talking to Julia."

Nate nods again while working with Nora. Humming when she does and going through the usual routine before concerts.

"I need you to focus on tonight. Ok? Jonah and Casey will handle her. You sold out Wembley, Nate. Remember who you are and why you are here, for your fans. The people who believed in you and have supported you to get you where you are right now. Don't disappoint your fans." I remind Nate, wait for him to nod and then leave the room. Nate knows what he needs to do.

He knows he needs to put on the best fucking show of his life. Whether he feels like it or not.

The rest will still be waiting for him when he walks off that stage.

******