*Trisha*

I walk out of the morning meeting with my head hung low. Evan and Elliot are quiet.

"Ok, Miss Banks. We'll touch base soon." Elliott gives me a hug and leaves the studio.

 I walk down to Nate's private studio room and flop on the couch. I kick off my heels, not caring my skirt rides up slightly, revealing the edge my thigh-high stockings.

"I had so many things planned." I frown and cover my face with both arms. Evan closes the door but stands there, like some silent goon. 

I lower my arms and roll my eyes when I see the bodyguard staring at my legs.

"Oh, for God's sake, grow up." I huff and fix my skirt. "Are you listening to me or are you just gonna stand there and have your wet dream?"

Evan's eyes widen and he takes a seat on one of the chairs next to the couch.

"Did you see the way Richard talked to me? I hate that. I know what's best for Nate. Not him!"

Evan nods but still doesn't contribute to my one-sided conversation.

"And this! THIS is not what's best for him! God, I fucking need a vacation."

"You said you had so many things planned?" Evan finally participates after I rant for a good five minutes.

"I did." I sit up and pout. "Nate thinks in a few days he starts the tour. He's a dip who doesn't pay attention. We don't need to be in Florida for another week. I was going to surprise him with a trip home to London. All of us. For a full week before things become hectic."

It all comes together for the bodyguard who sat in on the meeting. He lets out a sigh of frustration.

"I see."

"Now.. Now it's all off.  What is Richard's fucking obsession with getting Nate and Mila together anyway!"

"Money talks." Evan is blunt and to the point. And he is one hundred percent correct.

"So we get to spend the week wining and dining Mila for some publicity stunt instead of going to London. That's bullshit! He doesn't want to be SEEN with her. Why can't Richard get this?! UGH I'm so mad!"

I grab my phone and send Nate a text.

[Hey playboy, wake up. Richard's already stirring the pot]

The second I send it I regret it. Why would I tell this news right now? All he's gonna do is dwell on it and give himself a friggen heart attack. 

When Nate calls me back I make the decision.

"What's up, Trish?" The British voice sounds tired.

"I'm not sure, to be honest." Lies. All lies. But there have been PLENTY of times Nate has lied to me. Evan shoots me a look but I ignore him. " Richard has something up his sleeve. I just got out of a meeting with him and Elliott. I have a bad feeling about this, Nate."

 "What do you THINK is going on?"

"I don't know but ... Nate... I DO know Mila Giovanni is in the states for the Met Gala." And Nate will be joining her.....

"Lovely." Nate sighs loudly, already stressing himself out. "Trish. I don't want to fuck things up. Being around Mila... You know how I am. I can't be near her. And if Julia-"

"I know, sweetie. We're gonna figure things out, ok?"

"Thanks."

"So, what the hell is going on between you and Moretti, anyway? I thought it was over?" I try to change the topic before I give myself away. I'm the world's worst liar and if we stay on the subject of Mila Nate will catch on.

"It's never over." He replies dryly and ends our call.

"Did you just LIE to your BOSS, Miss Banks???" Evan chuckles.

"I have my reasons."

******

*James*

"Good morning! I brought breakfast!" Lindsay announces as she enters the kitchen. I smile at the welcomed company.

"Heyyy, Linds." Julia yawns and plops down on the couch. Maggie ignores her owners and pounces on Julia.

"Gee, thanks Mags." I roll my eyes.

"She loves Julia more than you, Jamie." Lindsay teases.

"No, she just senses you had another bad dream." I exhale then see Julia give me a look.

"What? No, I didn't." 

It's my turn for the confused expression.

"Babe, you don't remember? You freaked out."

"No, I thought I slept fine. Sorry if I woke everyone up."

Maggie stretches herself across Julia, seeking a belly rub. Lindsay bounces over and hands her a cup of coffee.

"Hey, I get it. James used to have em all the time." Lindsay says.

"Used to." Julia blurts out and I glare at her and shake my head.

"You still do??" Lindsay makes her way over to the recliner and sits on the armrest.

"No, not often," Julia saves herself. "Ok I gotta get ready for session before Dr. Cohen has my head." 

We watch her quickly escape and Lindsay looks down at me.

"I didn't know you were still dealing with your night terrors." Lindsay runs her fingers through my hair while talking.

"I don't. She doesn't know what she's talking about."

"Gaaaallllooo." Paul chimes in from behind the newspaper, ratting me out.

"Fine. Whatever. Yes, I still have them. I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure. YOU are. The rest of us could use a good night's sleep." Paul grumbles.

"Why didn't you tell me this??" Lindsay doesn't sleep over here. She's around a ton when she can be but it's been a very long time we have had an overnighter. My night terrors freaked her out. Like bad. And after, I always felt awful that she had deal with them.  I had hoped to postpone addressing this topic until much later in our relationship.

I shrug for an answer, not really knowing what to say.

"Can you help me get dressed? We can take Maggie out to the garden." These are the things I will need help with. Every day for the rest of my life. Does Lindsay really want to take care of a toddler? I need to know now before I let my guard down and get too attached to this relationship.

"Of course!" She perks right up without question, and we get on with our day. While in the garden, Lindsay initiates more serious questions and conversations that I had kinda wanted to postpone until later.

"Soo, I was thinking...." She begins while we sit on the grass together, Mags smack dab in between us enjoying the attention.

"Oh boy." I tease. "Blondie's got an idea...."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Anyways.... I was thinking, maybe when your house arrest is done, we could move you back in to your house?" 

My face drops.

"Hear me out. I could take care of you when I'm home. Before work and after, and maybe one of your sisters could hang out with you during the day?" 

"Linds... I'm not making my sisters care for me. We've tried that. It didn't work. I don't want to put that burden on you either. Besides, you travel. A lot." I remind her while petting Maggie.

"But maybe Nate could get you a nurse when I'm gone? Like he did for your mom?"

"I'm NOT asking Hollan for more favors. He has already gone above and beyond for me. Did you know he paid off my mortgage without telling me?"

"He did?!" The shock in her voice is the same shock I had when I first found out.

"Yep. He pays all my bills. Medical. Everything. I can't ask him to pay for another nurse too. I don't want a stranger hanging out with me during the day."

"Then maybe Julia could-"

"Hey, where is this coming from?" I take her face with both my hands and gaze at my perfect girlfriend.

"I just want to be with you. I want to make it work. That's all." She kisses my nose and smiles. "And I know you love your home. You worked so hard for it."

"I don't mind it here. At all." I admit and Lindsay squints her eyes at me.

"Jamie, you're not seriously saying you want to continue living here at the Avalon, are you?" She pulls my hands off her face and I sigh.

"Julia takes really good care of me. I like it here. I get all my counseling, and grief therapy sessions and free food and gym. What's not to love?"

"Your fricken kidding me, right?" Her voice squeaks. Lindsay didn't really think I'd be able to go back home, did she? I haven't recovered enough. I may NEVER recover enough.

"Can we just take it one day at a time?" I lean in and shut her up with a kiss. 

"Jamie... you're trying to shut me up with a kiss." She pushes my chest and breaks our kiss.

"I am...." I kiss her again.

******

*Trisha*

"Did you know about this?" Nate exhales, giving the impression he is hurrying down the lengthy Avalon corridor. Meanwhile, I am in his room, carefully hanging up all the dry cleaning I just picked up. My smile from being able to drive there without fear slowly fading when I hear Nate's tone of voice.  Evan, being bored with my mundane tasks, sits in the chair by the window, quietly watching me.

"I swear to God, Banks.." The British accent comes out strong tonight.

"Nate, I have no clue what you are talking about. I am literally in your apartment hanging up your drycleaning. What's this all about?" I balance the phone between my ear and shoulder so both hands are free to do my tasks.

"Mila! That's what this is fucking about!"

I drop the phone and fumble to pick it up. Did Nate talk to Richard? Elliott? Did they already tell him what is expected of him next week? My heart thrums in my chest and Evan gives me a concerned look.

"Nate.. I-" I begin.

"She's fucking HERE, Trisha!" Nate shouts into the phone.

"What?!" I stare at Evan, listening intently to Nate. "What do you mean she's here??"

"At the Avalon! She's here, wanting to talk to me. You really didn't know, did you?" His voice softens either because he is now around other people or because he realized I really did NOT know Mila was going to visit him tonight.

"Nate. I didn't know."

"Fucking Richard. This is all Richard's doing." He mutters into the phone.

"Do you want me to call The Avalon? Tell them you can't make it? That you can't have visitors?" 

"No, I'm already on my way."

He's going to meet with Mila. He's already fucking slipping, isn't he?

"Is Paul with you?"

"Yes."

"Put him on the phone."

I wait, now pacing the room while Evan's eyes follow me, catching on to the conversation.

"Banks." The deep voice consumes every part of my being.

"Paul, you mother fucker better make sure he doesn't mother fucking do anything stupid- you hear me?!!?"

"Loud and clear."

"I mean it! You fucking babysit him like he's a fucking toddler!! Or I will fire your ass myself!" I hang up on Paul and toss the phone on Nate's bed.

"Ahhh!" I drag my hands down my face, bellyflop onto Nate's bed and bury my face in his pillow.

"Ma'am?"

"Fucking shoot me." My muffled voice screams into the pillow to let out my frustration before I finally roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling.

"Mila Giovanni is visiting Nate at the Avalon, right now."

"I heard."

"I don't think you quite understand." I talk to the ceiling.

"I do."

"You weren't there, Evan. You don't know what she's like. You don't know what HE is like when he is with her."

"No ma'am."

I throw a pillow at the bodyguard. "Knock it off!!"

"Sorry ma'- Miss Banks." He sighs. He's been trained well. It's been ingrained in his memory. It took years for Paul to stop calling people ma'am, although he never applied that term to me, given my status as a teenager when we met.

I hate to admit it, but the way Evan says it is cute. I will still yell at him though.

"Nate doesn't want to fuck up. He tends to fuck up when he is around her. He's attracted to her and she can't keep her hands off him. It's a problem. Are you listening to me??" I raise my brows at the bodyguard."

"Yes, m- Trisha." He stops himself. Good boy. 

"Ma'am, can I ask you something?"

Ugh!!!!!

"What?" I hiss. He does it on purpose, doesn't he!!

"How is it your responsibility to oversee Mr. Hollan's actions?" He sits up a little straighter, second guessing his words. "I mean, I'm genuinely asking, not trying to be rude, though I realize it may sound like I am."

"It's just.... Listen," I sit up. "He was sixteen years old when I was hired. I was only eighteen, yet I was responsible for him. That was my job- to oversee Nate Hollan. Make sure he behaved, ate well, knew where to go and when and what to wear and what to say and-- It was a lot. I was still a kid myself. But I felt like I had something to prove, you know? To not only prove to management I could do my job and do it well, making sure he kept his nose clean and stayed out of trouble, but to make sure management didn't walk all over me, take advantage of me because I was just some 18-year-old girl from the U.S."

Evan listens intently.

"When Nate's drinking started to spiral out of control, and I recognized he had a serious problem, I felt as though I had failed at my job. I failed him." I shake my head. "He was just a kid! It was MY job to take care of him!"

"YOU were just a kid, Trisha." Evan pauses. "You should have never been assigned that position. Nor should you ever have been expected to take responsibility for the bad decisions he made or fix things."

"You don't know how 'they' looked down on me when Nate fucked up. Evan, you don't know how Nate felt when he fucked up. They made him grow up too fast. He couldn't handle it. So when he fell, he fell hard and when he fell hard- management took it out on me. Said I couldn't do my job they way they needed me to. Said I was "incompetent." INCOMPETENT! No one calls me incompetent!" I pause to catch my breath, realizing I'm letting it all out on this poor bodyguard. 

"And he was my best friend, you know? We're only a few years apart and when you are with someone day in and day out all the time you begin to care for them.  And when Nate found out the treatment I was receiving from the higher ups- you know he actually got a lawyer? 16 years old. He got a lawyer to look at my contract, find a loophole and find a way for me to quit my job under that management team so he could hire me privately. Out of his pocket. He hired me to be his personal assistant. We became really close. His dad died and mother a fucking shitshow- if you can even call her a mother. His sister was struggling with her own issues. He didn't have parents to teach him. I felt so bad for Nate. He was trying to do it all. I found myself covering for him when he'd make mistakes. BIG mistakes. Me and Paul." I ramble.

"God, Paul got Nate out of SO many messes.  And I covered them up for him. We were a team. This is far more than just a job. Contrary to what Richard might believe, this is someone's life. And Nate needed help. He was just too young to ask for it. They should have put him through rehab right away. But money talks. Concerts were booked. Events he was contractually obligated to attend. Events that no boy should ever be exposed to. Alcohol was easily accessible; women practically pushed his way. He was just a kid."

"But he's not anymore, Trish."

"Doesn't matter. He's my best friend. I will always clean up his messes. But this one... this thing with Mila...  It's gonna be too much for him to handle. He's gonna fall off the wagon just like last time."

I close my eyes and try to take a deep breath.

"It's my job to make sure he doesn't"

*****