*Trisha*

An entire week has passed, and I feel like so much has happened in the last seven days. Nate moved out of Julia's apartment per doctors' orders and is living in a much bigger place now. Whatever beef Jonah had with him has died down and mom and dad made up. Jonah has been staying with Nate, being his personal nurse, while Casey opted to stay behind with me and Evan.

I've seen the new apartment one time. Yes, I gave in and went over there once I heard Nate had moved out. I did a big food shopping for him and a Target run to make the place feel more like home to Nate, though the new apartment is already pretty amazing- much bigger than the one Julia is in. The only downfall is the place is right next to Jeremy Donovan's. 

While visiting Nate, I didn't have the heart to tell him about Mila Giovanni's new status of being single and it didn't come up on his end. I'm not even sure he is aware of this news yet since he's been so preoccupied with all the things going on with his own life.

I had to skip my counseling appointment with Jeremy yesterday due to a schedule conflict. Things are under way with tour, and I was stuck in meetings with Leslie going over the agenda. Right now, Nate thinks the first stop for traveling is Florida but that's not the case. You see, Nate isn't the most observant people. He lets me plan it all and just goes with the flow. So, he has no idea what the plans really are.

Nate will be discharged from The Avalon one week before tour. He THINKS his first stop will be performing in Miami but really, that isn't until the following week. I having been working hard on the details of this for a few weeks now without anyone knowing. 

I will be surprising Nate by flying him home to London for seven days. Seven days home to decompress and relax before he begins the hectic tour schedule. Jonah, Casey, and Evan are all in the dark as well, all who will be joining us, staying in Nate's upscale apartment in London and splurging on spa days and amazing food, rest and relaxation.

 This will be good for Nate. Good for everyone. Ok, everyone except Julia who may flip out but she's gonna flip out regardless of when he leaves. It's a secret to all except me and Nate's Tour Manager, Leslie.

I can't wait to get Nate on his.... our...private plane. I can't wait to see his face when it lands. When he realizes he's home. Home to relax for a full seven days. Home where there's no drama.  He's going to be ecstatic!

*****

*James*

The plan was for Nate to move out of Julia's apartment. He would try distancing himself for seven days so they can both focus on their selves instead of each other. That plan has backfired. Julia is not doing better. She's gotten worse. I feel so bad seeing her like this. She really loves the man, and I don't know how things are going to work once Nate leaves her to resume his tour.

Julia still has trouble sleeping at night. She either ends up waking me up or Paul up. Either way, none of us are getting a good night's rest these days. She's not tolerating the med changes like Jeremy and Trevor thought she would, and she's experiencing more frequent mood swings and outbursts. There have been times we thought Julia would need the anxiety med she is addicted to, but the doctors are both trying really hard not to go down that route seeing as she has been sober and detoxed for so long.

Trevor explained to me most bipolar patients with multiple disorders like Julia tend to need certain medications to control their moods. What is beneficial to others is what Julia is addicted to though. The Ativan works for a little while at a low dose but then she becomes immune to it, needing a bigger dose, and then a bigger one. Before you know it, Julia is hooked on the medication and can't function without it. When she goes even a few hours off a high dose she starts going downhill. It's really hard to watch and we all know this is not her fault. Just like it's not Cara's fault she's an addict or Nate's fault he is an addict. It's a disease. It's just how they are. Unfortunately, the one medication that would help Julia is the one that will kill her.

What baffles me is how sensitive Julia is to different medications as well as how even the smallest dose changes affect her in a big way.

"I guess I don't understand how minor dose changes could do this." I admit to both Julia and Lindsay after we try to calm Julia down. This panic attack was a bad one. Something Lindsay is not used to seeing.

"Honey, why don't you take another sip of water?" Lindsay hands Julia a water bottle.

"Don't call her honey," I quickly whisper to Lindsay to make her aware. "That's what her ex always called her. He wasn't a good person."

"Oh God. I'm so sorry. I'm making things worse." Lindsay shifts on the couch now feeling embarrassed. I take both of her hands and bring them to my lips to kiss them while shaking my head. She didn't know and I feel bad having to point it out.

"Guys, I'm fine. You don't have to stay here with me. If you want to go out to the garden or do whatever you planned on doing don't let me stop you. Paul will be out of the shower soon anyway. I'm not going to be alone if that's what you're worried about." Julia eyes us both.

"No, I'm worried about YOU, Julia. Babe, they never should have messed with your medications. You were doing so well before." I rub Julia's back to help calm her.

"You don't get it. This is always going to be a thing, James. They are just trying to figure it out, that's all. You saw them. It took three people putting their heads together to find a solution. Jeremy, Trevor, AND Jonah. It's not their fault."

"I know but-"

"It's fine, James. Go spend time with Lindsay."

I frown, not really wanting to leave but I haven't seen Lindsay all week. She had to travel to Chicago for work and the first thing she did when her plane landed was come here to see me. Neither of us knew Julia would still be having such a hard time. Lindsay is very understanding and sympathetic but she's not here to see Julia. She's here to spend time with me. So as much as I don't want to leave Julia, I give in.

 "Ok. C'mon Mags. Wanna go out??"

The dog jumps up and follows us as Lindsay opens the door so we can head to the garden. While walking through the halls we talk softly to each other.

"I feel so bad for her," Lindsay says in almost a whisper as two nurses pass us by.

"They switched up her medications. She's having a hard time adjusting to them." I explain. 

Lindsay has lived a good life. Two parents who are still together. Two older brothers who adore their little sister and she treats my family as if my mom and sisters are her own family. She's not used to major mental health issues aside from what she's witnessed with my family thanks to my father.

But seeing this shit with Julia, this is a different level for Lindsay. The outbursts and panic attacks and visiting me in a mental hospital are all things she hasn't been exposed to in her life.

"Hey, thanks for coming here to see me." I blurt out, not realizing Lindsay has no clue what I was just thinking and how hard this must be for her to be here.

"I never mind! Not like you can really bust out of here unless you want to be behind bars. You are NOT the Gallo that should be in jail, that's for sure." She smiles up at me and then shakes her head. 

I furrow my brows. Something is on Lindsay's mind.

"I saw him. The other day. I saw your father."

I stop in my tracks, stunned from those words. Lindsay has had very few encounters with Joe Gallo but thanks to my family, she knows who he is and what an evil person he is. Joe also knows who Lindsay is.

Like Julia, the first time Lindsay met my father was by bumping into him while with me. I will never forget that day nor do I want to relive it right now. We were grocery shopping and Joe was drunk in the parking lot. VERY drunk. We had words. A LOT of words. But the worst was when I had had enough and Lindsay took my hand so we could turn away and leave, Joe took it upon himself to grab her ass before we were out of his reach.

I was a coward then and a coward now. I didn't defend Lindsay. I didn't throw any punches. Instead, I squeezed her hand when she spun around and glared at my father with this fierceness. Something, Joe Gallo doesn't tolerate. He has no issues putting his hands on a woman, that much I know. I pulled her away from him and we jumped into my Range Rover, peeling out of that parking lot as fast as I possibly could. I later had to apologize to her and then had no choice but to bring up my past. Of course, Lindsay was super understanding. She didn't expect me to go beating up another person but certainly understood why I didn't go after my very abusive father. Because if he didn't get the chance to hurt me, he would find one of my sisters and take it out on them. To this day I feel like a coward because of that incident.

"What d-do you mean, you saw my father?" I begin to stutter nervously.

"It was before my flight to Chicago. I went to your house to water the plants in your sunroom by the kitchen. Me and the girls take turns making sure your home is all set for when you return."

My heart drops hearing that. Everyone seems to think I'm going to magically get better and be able to live in my own home again. I don't see that happening for me though.

"James, he was in front of your house."

"WHAT?!" I blurt out, gaining attention from a few patients coming out of a group therapy session. My heart begins to pound heavy in my chest. I knew my father was aware of where I lived. Especially since he put that awful threatening mail in my mailbox with the photo of the girls coming out of the church. But why the hell would the man be standing outside my vacant house when he knows full well I am here. Not only that, but that Nate Hollan has bodyguards watching over my family right now? Why would he be there at all?

"I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you but I thought you should know. I don't know why he was there. He was just standing there. Right outside in front of your house. Staring at it. He was clearly drunk and holding on to an empty whiskey bottle." Lindsay takes both my hands and looks down at them. "You're shaking. Jesus, James. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Mr. Gallo. Are you alright?" Trevor studies my face after walking by us and sensing the tension. I ignore the man and continue to stare at Lindsay.

"Did he see you? Lindsay- Did Joe see you? Or go near you? Did he-"

"James. Take a breath." Lindsay drops my hands and places hers on my face. "No. No, he didn't see me. I drove by and called your sisters to let them know. And also let them know I didn't water your plants. I told them to wait a few days before going to your neighborhood just in case. But it's all I could think about while in Chicago. I don't know why he was there. But he was drunk so maybe HE didn't even know why he was there."

That was the last thing I remember Lindsay saying. When I open my eyes, I'm on the floor. Trevor is holding me on my side and Lindsay is kneeling down in tears. Maggie is licking my face to make sure I am ok.

******

*Trisha*

My emotions get the best of me when I read Jonah's text message. I have been avoiding everyone at The Avalon. Not only Nate, but Paul and James as well. So when I get this update from Jonah, it breaks me down a little.

"Excuse me. Sorry. I need to step out for a minute." I grab my cell phone and exit the studio conference room, leaving both Elliott and Leslie in the middle of our meeting. Evan opens the door and follows me out into the hall.

"Everything ok?" The bodyguard asks. That is one thing that is different between Evan and Paul. When Paul is in bodyguard mode he shows no emotion. He doesn't ask questions. He is just .... there. Doing his job. Checked out emotionally. Evan, however, shows concern even though there is nothing between us and he is merely my bodyguard for the time being. He's part of our core group now, the big ol L.L. Bean bearded model. Paul is for sure part of our core group but very guarded. Keeps to himself. Doesn't ask questions or get involved.

"Jonah just texted me. James had another seizure. Something to do with his asshole abusive motherfucker prick father." I spew out.

"Well then...." Evan chuckles at my foul mouth.

"This is Jonah's guilt trip. He's telling me I should go visit James. We were friends once. We still are. I haven't been avoiding him per se. Just......everyone."

"Why is that? If you don't mind me asking?" Evan crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the wall casually. I take in how his biceps bulge through the black bodyguard t-shirt he is wearing but then also notice another bulge. Behind his right hip.

"What?" Evan follows my eyes and furrows his brows. "This?"

My eyes widen when he places his hand on the bulge. He taps it twice and gives me a weird look.

"Trisha, is this the first time you have noticed my gun?" Evan folds his arms over his chest again and laughs a little.

"Y-you are carrying a gun." I stammer, no longer thinking about James and his seizure or how I've been ignoring my friend. "Why??"

"All bodyguards carry weapons, Miss Banks. Whether in a concealed or open manner. Mine is concealed in a holster strapped to my waist. Paul carries his strapped to his leg."

"WHAT?!"  My voice echoes through the studio lobby. I have BEEN with Paul. How, after all these years have I never noticed him with a gun?? Ever! Evan can tell I'm shocked and a little nervous now. I hate guns. I hate guns with a passion.

"It's part of our job, Trisha. We all carry. Will does, Dante does. Max does. Paul does. Everyone who is part of Nate Hollan's security team does. It's only to protect." He taps the firearm again. "We are trained and know how to use them to keep people safe. That's all it is."

"Paul doesn't have a gun." I shake my head.

"Yes, ma'am. He sure does."

I squint my eyes at Evan ma'aming me but let that part go.

"I- I have NEVER seen Paul with a gun. Ever. I've known him since I was 18 years old. Not once have I noticed him with a weapon."

"Like I said. His is strapped in a holster on his leg. Still easy access but discreet. He keeps his in a locked box in his duffel bag at the end of the night. Just like I do. So it's stored safely. Even at a place like The Avalon." Evan can tell where my mind is going with this piece of information.

"And Nate knows this? Nate hates guns. He's not a violent man. He doesn't even get into fistfights. He merely just laughs and walks away." I speak up a little and clear my throat. "He is too mature in that sense to waste time getting into fights."

"Nate knows. It's part of the company policy. Most celebrity bodyguards are armed. We carry the gun, so he doesn't have to. He will never have to worry about his safety. Nor should you. Private security personnel undergo extensive training and background checks before being authorized to carry firearms. We also go to shooting ranges and multiple trainings throughout the year. We follow all the rules and regulations. Don't forget I was once in the military. Having a gun is no big deal for me. I don't leave home without mine. Anyways. Is James ok?" Evan switches off the whole gun topic seeing how uneasy I am. How did I NEVER notice though? I'm still baffled by this. Especially knowing Paul has one somewhere on his body. Is trained to use it. And walking around the Avalon with a bunch of mental patients with a weapon on him.

"Y-yeah. But I should go visit him soon." I continue to stare at the hidden bulge under Evan's shirt.

Poor James. Whatever is going on between him and his father is escalating. It's affecting James's health. To the point, he had a seizure in the middle of the hallway. Thank God there was a doctor right there with him to help him. I'm sure Lindsay has been trained but she's not around much and probably hasn't seen James have many seizures. I should have been there for him. I'm being an awful friend. I'm wasting time when I know we'll be on the road soon. 

I shake off all my thoughts and try to pull myself together before going back into my meeting. 

But all I can think of is how all of Nate's bodyguards are packing. All I can think of is Dave. Drunk Dave. Drunk Dave who also always carried his gun.

Drunk Dave who once pushed the barrel of that gun right to my cheek.

I will NEVER forget that night. 

*****