*James*

It seems that Jonah has been forcing Nate to visit his sister daily. While Nate may not view this as beneficial, I believe it is. Cara admires Nate, whether he is aware of it or not, and she craves his attention. She has no one else to rely on. Although I visit her frequently, I'm not the person she truly wants to see. It's her brother who she wants to spend time with. And she's not stupid. She can sense that Nate treats it as a chore, so by the time he goes to visit her, she is already in a bad mood. Nate is with her right now while me and Julia spend time outside near the garden.

It's fairly warm out today and sunny. We lie in the grass, and I put my head on Julia's lap like I always do. Maggie, too, basks in the sunlight, lying contentedly nearby. I like this. This feels normal, me and Julia hanging out together. I've been in a little bit of a slump after the ordeal with the home confinement house search happened the same time my sisters stopped by with my mother. I just want my normal life back.

"Your mind is racing, isn't it?" I ask and close my eyes when Julia brushes through my hair with her fingers. 

"How can you tell?" 

"I can always tell," I smirk and tilt my head to look at her. "Have you slipped up with Hollan yet?"

"Noo." Julia throws me a sarcastic expression.

"It's only been a day. Give it time." 

"Jerk. You are of no help, you know that, James??" She tosses a few blades of grass in my face making me laugh.

"You really love him, don't you? Hollan. Like love him, love him." I raise my brows at my best friend.

"You sound like you're in middle school saying it like that." Julia huffs.

"It will just take time, babe. Paul is good for you. You'll love him the same way you love Nate. Eventually. You know once Nate goes back on tour, things will be easier."

"Lindsay has been visiting more frequently." Julia changes the subject.

"Yeah, she has to travel for work next week though."  I let out a sigh.

"She travels a lot, huh?" Julia casually begins to pet Maggie, and I nod.

I don't know what to tell Julia. Me and Lindsay haven't discussed our relationship further and I don't want to be the one to set Julia off. I don't think it will, but you just never know what goes on in that head of hers. I don't want to ruin this moment we're sharing now.

The conversation wraps up when the clouds roll in and the rain starts to fall. Julia smirks a little. I know what she's thinking. This will get her out of having her counseling session with Trevor.  I shake my head at her, and we run inside before it downpours. The walk back to her apartment is quiet but content. Julia and I don't feel the need to always have to speak. She simply holds my hand while Maggie happily walks beside us.

Paul answers the door and we see that everyone is here. Well, everyone except Trisha - who is ghosting us lately. Both Jeremy and Trevor are here, and it seems like some kind of meeting is happening.

"What's going on?" Julia asks.

"You're going to have your therapy session with Trevor soon," Jeremy announces. 

Oh man, I can already see where this train is headed.

"Actually," She points to the glass slider, "It's raining. And anyway, I need to help Nate with his detox."

"I'm ok right now, doll." Nate sits up a bit, but it's clear he's still going through detox, with a headache and a weak appearance.

Jeremy lets out a frustrated sigh. "Julia, Dr. Cohen demands you have your counseling sessions. We're already on her shit list. She's watching us both. And I...." He pauses and shakes his head while pacing. He already looked on edge the moment we walked in. "I can't be your therapist ALL the time. The entire reason for Trevor's presence is to replace me...for you."

"I don't know what to tell ya. Looks like we'll have to reschedule. Cohen will have to get over it."

"Jule, no," Jeremy says sharply. "You don't understand. I can only cover for you so many times. Yesterday Katherine gave me an earful when she noticed you didn't make your appointment. She's been keeping track. I told her you were taking care of Nate but she didn't buy it. This doesn't affect just you."

Julia shrugs him off and begins preparing my lunch. I knew she was going to make this difficult for them.

"Why don't we all leave so you can have your therapy session," Jonah suggests. "We can go to the rec room."

"Yeah, good luck with that." I laugh. "W-we just walked past it and one of the volunteers is having a youth group in there. They are playing board games. I'm sure those teenage girls will have a field day if THE Nate Hollan shows up."

"I can't go down there anyway. I don't want anyone seeing me like this and I have an awful headache." Nate lays back down and rolls over to face the wall. "You guys go. I won't listen to your therapy session. Promise. I'm going to sleep."

"Looks like no session today. Sorry, Dr. Tremont. Try again tomorrow." Julia smiles at Jeremy while opening my yogurt for me.

Nate turns and raises his brows to Jeremy like someone has something to say but Jeremy looks away. Paul and Jonah remain silent. Weird...

"What??" Julia notices the strange exchange of glances as well while Jeremy nervously scratches the side of his neck.

"I said no." Jeremy barks. His tone is harsh and laced with irritation.

"You're right. Bad idea." Nate turns back around. I haven't a clue what is going on.

"I'm not going to back down on providing you the care you need, Julia. But it can't always fall on me and only me. I'm not giving up on you, but you need to meet me halfway here." Jeremy continues.

"I still have no idea what you guys were talking about or why the hell everyone is so on edge. All I said was it's raining and there's nowhere else for me to have a private therapy session in this apartment without everyone hearing my shit. Not that I want to have one anyway. Sorry, Dr. Tremont. It's not you. It's me." Julia shrugs again, hands me my spoon, and heads to her room, closing the door. 

I sigh and push the yogurt away, but Paul gives me a slight nod and takes over. All he has to do is dip the spoon in the small container of yogurt and I can get it to my mouth. The way I fumble to get the spoon into the container is comical, so I always need someone to take over that part.

"She's so goddamn stubborn." Nate pulls the covers over his head and blocks out the world. I have to agree with the guy today.  Julia is one stubborn lady.

****

*Trisha*

"Are you just never gonna go to the Avalon again in your life?" Casey looks up from the book she is reading and watches me clean out Nate's fridge.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" I meticulously scrub the shelves in an OCD manner.

"I can tell you're avoiding everyone like the plague." She turns back around and continues reading.

"Well, I can't go anywhere without Evan so it's not happening today. Where the hell is he anyway? He's been gone for a while."  The bodyguard could tell I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon today seeing as I have yet to shower, in my pajamas even though it's midafternoon, and scrubbing a fridge. He probably just wanted some time away from me. Can't blame him there. I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around these days.

"I bet James misses you." Casey continues to read instead of looking at me now. Here we go with the guilt trip. I DO miss James. Although we dated for a short time and things ended awkwardly, it is primarily Paul and Julia I'm avoiding. The fact that Paul has been in love with her all along and that she essentially stole him from me, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Why can't everyone understand that?

Not only that, but every single fucking time I go to that place there is drama. There's never a dull moment—Julia's either throwing one of her legendary tantrums or Nate's busy perfecting his role as the resident ass. It's nonstop chaos. I'm all set with that. Bad enough I am already going there for my counseling sessions.

I let Casey's little jab hang in the air, not worth the effort of a reply, and continue cleaning. My phone notifications go off alerting me of an email. I pull off the rubber gloves I use to clean with and grab my phone off the counter.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me right now." Heat rises to my face as I read an email from Richard Benson, Nate's dick of a producer.

"What is it?" Casey lowers her book and turns to me.

"Apparently," I begin to read the email out loud to Casey. "Mila Giovanni has reconsidered her participation in Nate Hollan's upcoming music video. The production team would like to schedule a meeting with you next week to discuss this development. Since Nate has decided to shorten his tour to remain in the U.S., we can coordinate filming and work around his tour schedule. Miss Giovanni will be in town at the end of next week to further discuss this matter."

Casey sits up straighter.

"No way..." Casey mutters. "They are determined to make Mila the star of these videos like it's their life's mission or something!" 

"Nate is NOT gonna be happy when he hears this."

"Good thing he has an appointment for that Vasectomy."

I glance up from my phone, wide-eyed. I was completely unaware that Nate had scheduled an appointment for a vasectomy. Casey looks at me and her cheeks flush up just like Julia's do when she gets embarrassed. I bet she wasn't supposed to mention this piece of information, was she?

"When??" I ask.

"Friday..." Her voice is softer like she's telling me a secret even though no one else is in the room. 

"Wow," I say, still a bit shocked. "Nate is getting fixed. He's really moving on from Julia, isn't he? He wouldn't get a vasectomy if he thought there was a way he could still be with her. Does she know this??"

"I don't think so. I'm not sure really. I don't even know if I should have told you. I didn't mean to. That's his personal business. Jonah was having trouble finding a specific doctor's phone number and asked me to look on his laptop for it through the hospital portal we have." Casey explains.

"I won't say anything. I wouldn't anyways." I look back down at Richard's email. "Shit. By the time this music video begins production, Nate will be sterile. He will no longer have any reason to avoid sex with Mila."

I see a disaster waiting to happen...

******

*James*

She's- she's asleep." I announce while walking out of Julia's bedroom. We thought maybe she just went in to decompress a little, and maybe she did, but she fell asleep.

"In the middle of the day? Again?" Paul sports a concerned look on his face now and Jonah turns off the TV.

"What do you mean, again?" Jeremy asks from the kitchen table. He is completing Julia's chart for the day and reviewing some notes with Trevor. He stops writing and directs his attention to Paul.

"She's been waking up more at night. She won't tell us her dreams but getting a good night's sleep hasn't happened for a little while now." Paul explains and I nod in agreement. 

"I can't recall the last time she's slept through the night," I add.

"Why is this the first time I am hearing about this???" Jeremy asks and both me and Paul shrug. I had assumed Julia would tell Jeremy. I don't fucking tell that guy shit. He's not my therapist and never will be. To me, he's still a rapist. A criminal who should be locked up. Instead, I'm the one on house arrest for getting into a car accident that put me in a coma and left me disabled...

"Can I see her medication list again?" Dr. Tremont leans closer to Jeremy as he slides Julia's chart over to review it. "Tweak that one. Lower the dose by .5mg and up the dose of this one by 10mg."

"But if we do that, we'll have to up this one as well." Jeremy points to the chart.

"True. We can't do that. She needs to be on the lowest dose of that one." Trevor states and Donovan agrees.

We all watch as Jeremy and Trevor bounce ideas off each other, using their well-educated brains to come up with a plan. 

"Jonah, what do you think?" Jeremy includes the nurse in their decision and Jonah makes his way over to look at all the notes.

"In my opinion, I'd tweak that one first. Then if no changes are seen after two weeks, THEN up the dose on that one. You don't want to disrupt the balance between the two. She could also go on 5mg of melatonin right before bed to ensure a good night's rest. Or Benadryl which has the same sedating effects without triggering her addiction to sedatives," he pauses. "But we all know the real treatment is talk therapy. Medications can only do so much. If she is having night terrors from trauma she needs to talk about it. It's the only way she will heal."

Nate glances at Paul and then turns to me. None of us know what to do. Guess that's kinda why Julia is here at the Avalon. We could never figure out her meds and they are constantly changing. At least she has smart doctors to figure it out now.

"James, does she open up to you when you try to talk to her about her dreams?" Trevor asks but I shake my head.

"She used to. But, she refuses to discuss any recurring dreams she has been experiencing lately..." I admit.

"Lately as in...?" The doctor needs more info than that.

"I don't know. The last week or so. It happens with her though. She gets stuck on one topic and can't get out of it sometimes. Whatever this one is, she doesn't want to tell me."

I don't push Julia for information. I never have. Not from the very start of our friendship. If she wants to tell me something she will tell me but I'm not one to pry. She always comes around eventually.

"Well, keep being open for her. Maybe she'll come around." Jeremy looks down at his phone. "I'll run these changes through the pharmacy, and we can start her as soon as this evening."

"Should we expect any sudden changes?" Nate asks with concern. This is a crucial question that everyone should know the answer to. Because if Julia spirals out of control it's not worth changing the meds. Let her sleep during the day. Hell, I had to with my job, it's not the worst thing in the world. At least she's getting SOME sleep. I think she feels comfortable knowing everyone else is up when she is sleeping. People are awake to care for her if it happens during the day but for the most part. These PTSD dreams only happen at night for her.

"Let's not jump to worst-case scenarios, ok? You have my number and can page me any time, even in the middle of the night if something happens with her moods. You all know that by now." Jeremy heads for the door and Dr. Tremont follows. 

"Should I go wake her??" Paul looks to Jonah, unsure what to do.

"No, just let her sleep for now. It shouldn't become a habit though. If she sleeps during the day she misses important therapy sessions and counseling appointments. The whole reason she is here is to get help."

I nod my head now seeing his point. Poor Julia. Nothing is easy for her. If switching up her meds triggers crap it will be a long night. It's not her fault either.

 Like I always say... It's just the shit hand she's been dealt.

******