*Trisha*

I'm fucked. I have spent most of the morning calling around to get an appointment in somewhere, anywhere, for a counselor to see me about my driving issue. Evan is taking this seriously and expects me to have an appointment scheduled by the end of the day or he is going to tell Nate how I'm struggling. That is the LAST thing I want. Nate is already overly stressed out. He doesn't need me to pile my shit on him.

I've had no luck so far. I had a feeling this would happen. I remember months ago when Nate had me find a doctor for Julia, they were all booked out six months to a year. I need an appointment now. I'm not getting better. I'm getting worse. I'm waking up in the middle of the night from these nightmares about the accident. It barely affected me. The only person it really affected long term was James...and of course, Malcome Jones, rest in peace.

I have no other option. I have to call The Avalon.

To my surprise, even though The Avalon is such a big facility, there are only four real psychiatrists employed there at this time. The rest are nurses, security guards and other staff needed to run a detox and mental health care institute. The first floor houses the full- time patients as well as the people who come in to detox. It is also where the four psychiatrists' offices are, the cafeteria, the large rooms for the sessions and the rec room. One wing that is off limits to all patients and most staff is the wing where the family housing is. The apartments, like Julia and Jeremy's. The second and third floor are where the sleep labs, pharmacy, laundry room, gym, and other offices are located.  

The three psychiatrists are Dr. Katherine Cohen, Jeremy Donovan and the newer guy, Trevor Tremont. the fourth is a woman doctor, Deb Porvella who not only is no longer taking new patients but also out on maternity leave for three months. From what Nate has told me, Trevor is only here and hired through Donovan for Julia.

This leaves me with Dr. Cohen or Dr. Donovan to choose from. My choices are slim. A woman I do not trust for a second with anything I say, an evil serpent of a woman who mainly deals with detox patients. A woman who has taken it upon herself to make Julia's life hell, taken advantage of Nate's money with her absurd charges and fines against Moretti, knowing full well who would pay for it, or Jeremy. A rapist. An unbelievable intelligent, sharp, ingenious rapist.

My choice is then narrowed down against my better judgement when I call the Avalon receptionist to schedule an appointment.

Here I am in Nate's studio after a meeting with Richard, making a fucking appointment at the Avalon. Evan by my side on the couch pretty much dialing the fucking number for me so I get seen. I can almost feel the color drain from my face when the Avalon receptionist informs me neither doctor have any current openings.

"Oh wait." The friendly voice pauses. "Actually, it looks like Dr. Donovan had a cancellation. But it's for eleven this morning."

Eleven? I look down at my phone. It's already ten thirty. Shit. Can we make it to The Avalon in time?

"Fine. I'll take it." I cringe at the thought of sitting down with Jeremy. Telling him my issues. I've done this before. Granted it was a set up, but it became real in a short time. And then, the guy made a fucking move on me. He kissed me. And I fucking kissed him back.  I don't even know why!! Something about Jeremy. He holds this charisma to him. Like, Trevor, he is a very good-looking man but it's more than that. Donovan makes you feel comfortable. You let your guard down easily when with him, that much I remember. He's just as much as a serpent as Cohen though. Jeremy played the game. Not only is he a good kisser, but he was the one to back away. Back away and apologize. And it fucking felt genuine in the moment. This, of course, is before we learned about his split personality and the monster that was running wild in his body at the time.

It was all supposed to be an act. But it wasn't.

******

"I'm sorry. I'm such a fucking mess." I say and Jeremy leans down close to my ear, sending chills down my spine, chills I wish I didn't feel because of his attractiveness.

"You're not a mess, Trisha. You've been through a great deal. It's ok to cry. You never have to apologize for that. I think we should set up some more sessions if that's ok with you. You have a lot going on and a lot to sift through before you can heal."

I nod and back away. We gaze at each other and I am suddenly off my game. He leans in slowly and puts his hand on my cheek and I don't back away like I probably should have. Instead, he kisses me, and I kiss him back.

Ok. There is something very wrong with me. Because my whole body is on fire. He's a damn good kisser and I feel it. Jeremy breaks our kiss and rests his forehead on mine.

"We can't Trisha."

"I know..."

But then we kiss again. Like really kiss and I regret ever giving him a chance in the first place because he is such a good kisser and is pulling me in a little.

"We really can't..." Jeremy says but kisses down my neck before finally backing away. Shit. I felt that. I try to snap myself out of it.

*****

"You need to be in the room with me, Evan. At all times." I demand while packing up my computer bag and rushing to get out of the studio so I can make the appointment on time. "You don't know what he's like. And I can't tell you certain things. Legally." I say legally though this was not part of any trial.  This was before Jeremy raped Julia in room 460. Before Julia pressed charges against him. I lied, mainly because I don't know what I can and can't say and don't want to incriminate anyone. I also lied because I don't want Evan to know I was an idiot who, for a moment, fell for my doctor instead of sticking with the plan.

I begin to fidget with my hands in the car. Something that reminds me of Julia. I have no time to think about it or prepare myself for this appointment in any way. Because of that, I feel overly anxious.

******

*James*

I know it's not my job but I feel drawn to check in on Cara from time to time. Nate's sister may pretend she doesn't like getting visitors but she's desperate for attention. Not mine. Her brother's.

I can't fill that void but I can at least be there for her. Dr. Tremont approves of my visits with Cara even though I'm not sure patients are allowed in each other's rooms. I'm pretty sure I'm breaking rules. But if Trevor says it's ok then it must be, for me at least.

"Christ, what happened in here?!" I snicker while looking around Cara's room. Her home. Where she spends the majority of her down time. Mainly because, when she goes into the rec room she ends up getting into fights with other patients. She doesn't know how to control her moods. Some of that is from her mental illnesses, some I think is just because she's a Hollan.

I see a LOT of Nate in Cara. Good and bad. Not just her stunning looks. The bright blue eyes they both share and perfect facial features that the cameras love are just some of their similarities. Her cackle is just as loud and addictive as her brother's, along with her British accent. Cara's mood swings and impulsiveness also mirror Nate.

Unsure what the girl's problem was today but she tore apart her room. Every dresser drawer is open. Every article of clothing strews all over the place. I'm of no help since my hands are shit. Without invitation, I walk into Cara's room with Trevor who sits at the desk. I clumsily pull a chair over to her bed. 

Just like Julia, when Cara shuts down, she curls up in a ball in her bed and tries to escape from her reality.

"I see you redecorated. Looks amazing." I hear Cara let out a sigh and sit up in bed.

"I couldn't find my favorite shirt." The girl points down at the T-shirt she is currently wearing, letting me know she did eventually find it after she tore apart her room. I laugh seeing it's an old Nate Hollan tour T-shirt.

"THAT'S your favorite shirt??" I laugh and receive a dirty look from her.

"It was his first ever concert. I got to go. It was my first time going to a concert, myself. So it was kind of cool to see Nate on stage like that."

I nod, now understanding the sentiment behind the article of clothing. I also understand she may very well be wearing it because she misses her brother. Nate doesn't visit Cara often and soon he will be back on tour and gone for months. 

Cara is sad. Nate is the only family she has in the states aside from her crackhead mother. I think seeing her is too hard for Nate sometimes. As much as he can handle Julia and take care of her, he can't handle seeing his sister struggle in the same way. I can understand that having five sisters of my own. Each with their own struggles thanks to Jackass Joe.

"It looks like you ended your detox." I change the subject and notice Cara's hands no longer tremble as she puts her light brown hair up in a ponytail. She has bangs she combs down with her fingers that make her look much younger than her age.

"Yeah. I guess."

The way Cara said it makes me think if there were drugs in this room right now, she'd take them in a heartbeat, not caring about going through withdrawals later. She is anything but healed from her addiction. Her sad eyes tell it all.

I visit Cara for a good half hour before a nurse comes in to take her to her counseling session.

"She's so sad." I blurt out while Trevor walks me down to the apartment.

"She's got a lot to be sad about.... from what I've heard at least." Mr. Moneybags replies. I call him Mr. Moneybags because even when he is in casual clothes the dude looks like a million bucks. Like Nate, it's something you just can't hide. Not only his striking appearance that gets all the female, and some mail nurses here gazes at him like he's some fucking Greek God, but he walks with this arrogance, this confidence to him. Which is still so odd to me since his personality is anything but arrogant or harsh. Either way, he bleeds "I've got money," so in my head I call him Mr. Moneybags.

"She misses her brother. Even though he is in the same damn building. Nate doesn't really give her the time of day." I continue.

"I imagine it to be emotionally trying for him to see his sister struggle with mental illness. To be honest, I don't think I would want to be her sole caretaker like Nate is forced to be. She's a handful. And he was forced into being responsible for her. I really don't know how he juggles it all."

"He doesn't." I deadpan.

Nate may emotionally juggle shit but he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do in life. And the shit he HAS to do he makes Trisha do for him. If he doesn't want to see Cara he will find any excuse to get out of it.

Right as I think that I swear I see Trisha and Evan walk into Jeremy Donovan's office. I squint my eyes but continue walking. Was that them or is my mind playing tricks on me. Trisha absolutely hates coming here, nevermind coming here to see Jeremy of all people. 

Weird.

******

*Trisha*

I feel like I am about to have a panic attack being here. A nurse escorts us down to Jeremy's office where we wait for him. Evan is in complete bodyguard mode. Tense with eyes that dart around and laser sharp focus. I've always wondered how both him and Paul can turn on and off this mode so easily.

"Do I sit on the couch, I guess?" I ask Evan who shrugs without saying a word. Yep, just like Paul, bodyguard mode. I decide to sit down on the leather couch and look around the immaculate office. Donovan for sure is a clean freak like Nate. Maybe even in a compulsive way. Every single object in the room is perfect. The books on the shelve in alphabetical order. His desk is bare with no clutter to it. Even the chairs align perfectly across from each other with the couch in the middle. Like he fucking measured to make sure they were even.

When the office door opens, Jeremy looks up with complete surprise to see me.

"Trisha?" His eyes dart from me to Evan and back to me before closing the door. "I- uh..."

I watch the doctor look down at a lone sticky note left on his desk, obviously making him aware of the cancellation and my appointment. He stares at the small square piece of paper and loosens his tie a little, swallow hard like he is nervous. Join the club asshole.

"Ok..." Jeremy furrows his brows and takes a deep inhale before grabbing a notebook and pen. "Sorry. I wasn't aware of the change in schedule. I don't have a chart made up for you yet. Anyway. Hi."

Jeremy doesn't sit down on the couch next to me. Instead he sits in one of the leather chairs and balances his ankle on his knee, using his leg as a table to lean his notebook on. I say nothing, unsure where to begin and watch him write on the paper for a moment before looking up at me.

"What brings you here today, Miss Banks?" Jeremy goes right into doctor mode.

"I.." I suddenly have an uneasy feeling in my stomach, unable to begin, and look over at Evan. "Actually, you know what? I'm fine. This was a mistake."

Evan glares at me from the doorway where he is standing and crosses his arms, clearly mad at me for chickening out.

"Trisha..." Jeremy says in a warm tone. "You can talk to me. Whatever you say is completely confidential."

"I don't know where to start." I admit in a small voice.

 "I understand. Let's start from the beginning. What made you decide to make this appointment today?" He adjusts his glasses and waits patiently for me.

"This dipshit made me." I scowl at Evan. Jeremy turns around to look at the bodyguard and then back at me. Evan says absolutely nothing. He is of no help to me.

"Ok. Why?"

I freeze up. Why the hell am I having such a hard time? Is it because it's Jeremy or because it's therapy? I can't seem to come up with an answer all of a sudden.

"Hey, take a deep breath, ok?" Jeremy leans over slightly and pats my hand that grips my knee from being so tense.

"No touching." Scofield snaps like Paul and takes a step closer.

"Right." Jeremy sighs. I can tell he has always been a very compassionate doctor. Touch being one way to calm a person down. But it's not something any other doctor does. That's what makes him different. As inappropriate as it is to pat a patient's hand, the small gesture does relax me a bit. I hate that. Remember who he is. A rapist.

Yeah so wasn't Dave and yet I'm still in contact with him.

Jeremy takes a moment to think and then looks at me like a lightbulb went on in his head.

"The last time you spoke to me as a therapist you were pregnant. Would you like to start there?"

"What? No." My eyes immediately shift to Evan who has a stunned look on his face. He notices it immediately and wipes the slate clean, hardening his features back into that of a statue. No emotion.

"Obviously I lost the baby. That's not why I'm here. I'm not here because of your cousin either." I retort in an angry manner, letting Jeremy know I'm aware him and Dave are related. God, I opened up to Donovan about my ex. His cousin. Hell, it was Jeremy to help me get the restraining order.

"Right." A bit of color appears on the kid's cheeks. "But you can talk about him if you need to, Trisha. Again, what you say stays in this room. Believe me, I know how he is."

I nod, accepting that and softening up a little.

"I'm having a hard time driving." I blurt out of nowhere.

"Driving?" Jeremy raises his brows and jots that down in his notebook.

"Because of the accident."

The doctor nods, now understanding.

"Describe what happens when you drive." He says, again with a warm genuine tone to his voice that helps ease my tension.

"I don't know. I freak out. I relive the collision in my head. It's getting bad though. I wake up in the middle of the night from these nightmares. often. But they aren't dreams. They really happened." I begin and feel Evan's eyes on me.

"My bodyguard had to pull me out of my car in the middle of an intersection because I was so stuck in it. Thinking about it." I open up easily to the doctor now. Jeremy places the notepad on the small table next to him and rests his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together. Again, All professional doctor mode. But no longer taking notes.

"Trisha. Car accidents are the leading cause of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD. Survivors may experience flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance behaviors, and heightened reactivity, often triggered by reminders of the accident." Jeremy's intellect shines.

"Great. So what do I do about it?!"

"Well," He takes his glasses off and puts them with the notebook. I notice he does this often and wonder if he really only needs glasses to read things. He looks me right in the eyes, completely focused. "It's not an easy fix."

"Fucking great." I huff. "I knew this was a waste of time, Evan." 

"No, Trisha. PTSD is something that needs to be addressed. It's not some small ailment that will go away in time. Like I told Jul-" He quickly stops himself and clears his throat. I am not like Julia. I hope he is not comparing me to her. She's a fucking mess.

Though we do have a few things in common. We were both in that car accident. We were both sexually abused by someone we trusted, one of them being in this damn room right now. We are both addicted to people and both in love with Nate. Jesus Christ, I'm more like her than I thought.

"What I tell my other patients." Jeremy rephrases and starts over. "It's crucial to seek professional help. There are all different types of therapeutic options that are very effective treatments for PTSD. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Trauma focused CBT, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing are all effective treatments. In some cases, medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs are used to help manage symptoms."

"I'm not taking fucking meds. I see how they fuck up your "other" patients." I squint my eyes at him.

"My 'other' patients are very complex individuals. With more than one mental illness. Trisha do NOT compare yourself to her." Jeremy catches on quick, making me look away in embarrassment.

"You are a well-rounded, healthy individual who lives a very productive life. You are not her. You're already taking the initiative by coming here today. She would never do that." He ends there, knowing he is crossing a fine line. "But if you put off treatment, PTSD may persist for years."

Years?

******

*James*

Once Trevor drops me off at the apartment, I head to Julia's bedroom to rest. I barely got any sleep last night due to Julia having a night terror and am now feeling it.  I let someone else deal with Hollan and his foul mood today. I know he is detoxing and all but he hasn't gotten out of bed all day, no matter how hard Julia tried. It's midafternoon now.

I hear Trisha's voice and wonder if that really was her in Jeremy's office now. She's also in rare form today.

"I couldn't get him out of bed this morning. I tried but I couldn't be late for my session. I have Cohen waiting for me to make one mistake so she can make my life hell." I hear Julia explain to Trisha.

"Great job." Trisha says, full of sarcasm. Shit. She's not in a good mood today.

"I tried." 

"Yeah, try harder, Moretti. This is all your fault as it is. If you and Paul hadn't - "

"Knock it off, Trisha!" I hear Nate yell at her right as Julia opens the bedroom door, slamming it shut behind her. 

I sit up and Julia crashes into me, full of tears.

"She's such a bitch sometimes." Julia cries against my chest. Any other person would not shed tears over this, but Julia is sensitive about Trisha. She idolizes her. Julia tells me the conversation I already heard but I let her vent.

"Ok." I kiss the top of her head. "I'll be right back."

I abruptly attempt to leave to talk to Trisha but stand at the door like a dog waiting to be let out. Julia wipes her eyes and gives me a slight nod, getting out of bed and opening the door for me. I know how to handle Trisha. 

I walk into the living room towards Trisha, then put both my hands on her shoulders.

"Really Trisha? C'mon." I say softly. Trisha huffs in defeat and softens when I hug her. "I know everyone is having a rough few days, but don't take it out on Julia. Nate CHOSE to drink. No one made that choice for him, not you, or Paul....or Julia." 

"Fuck it. FINE." Trisha pushes off me and heads to the bedroom. 

"I don't know how you do it, Gallo." Nate mumbles from under the blanket, making me laugh.

"You and Trisha are meant to be best friends. You're both so fricken hot headed and speak before you think. Now, get out of bed and take a shower. Go use your damn million-dollar soap and shampoo and wash that detox smell off you." I plop down on the recliner.

 "Hey! I don't stink!" He sits up now.

"No but you will. Sooner or later. And you should go visit your sister. She's sad today."

"You saw Cara??" Nate questions.

"I visit her from time to time, yes. Sometimes she'll talk to me, sometimes she won't. She's at least let me pray over her a few times. She's feeling kind of alone lately."

"Cara let you pray for her??" 

"Yep." I admit. "She's a really sweet girl, under all that sass. But she's so young. Younger than her age, ya know?"

"Yeah." Nate scratches the back of his head and yawns. "I know. She's like Julia."

I nod, thinking the same. Trisha comes out of the bedroom red in the face.

"There. Happy?" She rolls her eyes and is about to head out to the backyard but then stops in her tracks when she sees Paul sitting out there with Evan. "God, there's nowhere to go in this place."

"Why because you've had sex with all the men here?" Nate squints his eyes at her and gets a pillow thrown at him, making me chuckle.

"Nooo. I haven't for your information."

"Right. Evan is still the new guy. Give it time."  Nate tries to get under her skin even more. Again, they were meant to be together, those two. 

I glance up at the clock and see there will be no time for me to rest today. We have another session to get to. Technically I don't have to go, but I learn a lot from these group therapy meetings. Julia not only has to go, but she also can't be late. Cohen will have her head. As it is, Julia is already overly nervous about leaving the safety of this apartment. 

This morning while she was eating breakfast in the cafeteria, a girl poured hot coffee on Julia's right hand. Her good hand. The burn sent Julia to the infirmary. I heard it is because the patients like the nurse who almost got fired because of Julia. So they are taking it out on her. Physically.

Paying no attention to Trisha but aware of the time, Julia comes out of her bedroom knowing we have to leave.

"You ready?" I ask, knowing full well she is not.

Paul comes in from outside with an equally sympathetic expression, ready to escort us down. Julia turns to Nate before leaving.

"Can you try to eat a little something before I come back? And there's Gatorade in the fridge. You need electrolytes for hydration."

"Jule, are you sure you're ok to go to session?" Nate asks.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"I won't leave your side. And when you're in session, James will watch out for you, ok?" Paul assures her and I nod. He opens the door and we see both Jeremy and Trevor heading towards us.

"Your entourage, ma'am." Dr. Tremont says to Julia.

"You realize the whole reason I have a bodyguard is protect me from you, right?"  She glares at Jeremy, putting him in his place. "And now your fan club."

"Well, now you have four bodyguards watching over you because of his fan club, get used to it. Some of these patients are...... insane." Trevor makes me laugh a little, lightening up the atmosphere. 

"What happened with that girl? The one who got escorted out for the coffee incident?" I ask while we begin our walk.

"Not much. Can't really prove she did it on purpose but that's why I'm here to keep a close eye on things." Jeremy responds.

"I've got it under control." Paul grumbles, taking offense.

"I know you do, Mr. Rossi. But the more the merrier. I want to catch things with my own eyes so I can be a witness. And I really don't think my patients will try anything with me right here with Julia. But if I see something out of the ordinary, I will address it right away." Jeremy explains.

The rest of the walk is silent. It's sad to know these things happen even in upscale facilities like The Avalon. The patients need more counselors to talk to. This place is severely understaffed, so patients become too attached to the doctors and nurses that ARE here.

Maybe Trevor is right. Maybe someday I could be the one to make a difference with some of the people here.

*****

*Trisha*

 Nate finally gets out of bed and make it neatly while I make him lunch and feed the dog. I don't mention my therapy session with Jeremy. I hate that talking to him actually helped a little. I should despise a man like Jeremy Donovan. But I see how Julia and the rest of the crew seem to let their guard down after awhile with him. He has this calming way about him. All I can think of is how Nate told me how Jeremy suffers from a bunch of his own illnesses. That's why he did what he did. At first, I didn't buy it. Not for a second. But after really sitting with Jeremy today and talking, I do believe he was struggling with shit and is either no longer struggling or getting the help and meds he needs to keep things at bay. Because he was completely normal today. Genuine and kind and comforting. It's hard to imagine him turning into a monster the way he did in the past.

"You really don't have to check on me, Trish. I know you don't like it here."

"You're right. I don't like it here. So the quicker you get back on your feet and come home the better. Eat." I sit next to Nate and begin eating lunch. I watch him look down at the grilled cheese sandwiches.

 "You're such a mother hen, you know that?"

"Well, you're equivalent to a child and someone has to take care of you."

"I rather you call me 'daddy'." Nate flirts but cringes after saying that and I burst out in laughter.

"Yeah, THAT's not happening." I nudge him.

"Look at me. What a sad, sober, single guy who can't even remember the last time I got laid." He huffs and takes a bite of the sandwich.

"Well, I mean. I can change that." I say with sudden boldness. Jesus Christ I am like Moretti. But this is Nate. And it's been a while for me.

"Newsflash. We're at the Avalon."

"We're alone."  I squeeze his leg under the table.

"No, we have Maggie here."

"Oh please, the dog lives with James. Male-slut James. She's seen it all." I make the first move and kiss Nate's sweet spot on his neck.

"I really didn't need to know that." He breathes out. "Trish. We can't."

"Sure we can." 

"No. Really. We shouldn't. I'm with-"

I open my eyes and look at Nate. I can almost feel his heart breaking after realizing what he just said. That kills me. Julia broke him to pieces.

"Nate, you're single now. It's ok. You can do whatever you want now. WE can do whatever we want." I kiss Nate. Usually, he is the one to initiate these things but I could really use a little Nate Hollan and by the way he feverishly returns my kiss I can tell he could use some action as well. We have a tendency to cross the line while single. Well, Nate has the tendency to cross the line while taken too but that's a different story for another day.

Right now, we use each other. No strings attached. We have sex right in the kitchen. Nate consumes me completely. His kisses are hungry and desperate and perfect.

Everything is perfect.

And when it's over we remember one minor detail.

Evan is still outside. 

We both see him at the same time, his back towards us while talking on the phone, oblivious to what just happened against this table. We both spew out profanities and scramble to get dressed before Evan notices anything. By the time he comes into the apartment, both Nate and I are completely dressed. I'm cleaning the table while Nate is doing the dishes fucking whistling with a little smirk on his damn face. Evan gives us both a funny look, rolls his eyes but says nothing.  We say nothing. No one says anything.

Once in a while Evan glances at me and then Nate but never brings anything up. He's not an idiot though. He knows something went on. 

******

Because I had my therapy appointment in the Avalon I had to check in at the front desk, which means we parked out by the main entrance. Evan and I make our way down the hall, but both stop suddenly when we see a door open to our left.

"Oh hey." Jeremy walks out into the hall. "Actually..."  He puts his finger up telling me to hold on and retreats back into the room. Both Evan and I glance at each other before I take a step forward. Jeremy left the door open but disappeared out of sight.

I peek inside and realize right away. 

"This is his apartment." I whisper to Evan whose eyes are just as wide and curious as my own. We don't go in the apartment but look around from the doorway.

It's a nice apartment. Like Julia's. From what I can tell a bit smaller but very modern with expensive furniture and tastefully decorated. I'm impressed seeing as Jeremy is a single guy who lives alone. He must be like Nate and had a decorator come in and do this. It's OCD clean like Donovan's office and a really nice apartment. Like Julia's, I bet once you step inside you forget you are even in the Avalon.

Evan and I both take it all in then quickly back away when we hear Jeremy come out. He's holding a blue folder.

"I didn't think I'd see you until our next appointment but since you're still here...I printed up some information for you. Different tools and coping skills that may help you when you feel overwhelmed." The doctor smiles brightly at me.

"Oh." I take the folder and open it. He took the extra time to do research for me. I hate that the man is a good doctor. I wonder if that's how Julia feels.

I close the folder and look past Jeremy.

"Is this where you live??"

"Oh, um. Yeah. I mean..." Embarrassment floods his face and he looks away. "Temporarily. I had a house but... things fell through, so I moved out."

Baggage in the claims department. I can sense that much. He doesn't say it but obviously he moved out because a relationship went sour. I remember Nate telling me bits and pieces here and there but to be honest, was never really paying attention.

"It's nice." I admit and look up at the doctor. The embarrassment fades and his eyes meet mine.

"Yeah. The commute to work is brutal though." Jeremy smirks and I can't help but laugh at that joke. He closes and locks the door behind him and joins me for the walk, with Evan now in completely bodyguard mode behind us.

"How many other apartments are there?"

"A few." Jeremy answers vaguely.

"Are they all as nice as you and Julia's?" Curiosity gets the best of me.

"They are nice, yeah. Julia has the nicest one, but it's proven to be a bit small for her with her.... revolving door of guests."

I nod in agreement. The place would be huge for one person, but it only has one bedroom which means Paul sleeps on the pull-out couch and Nate sleeps on a cot that was wheeled in. Julia shares her bed with James to keep an eye on him throughout his nights in case he has a seizure.

"Yeah, she could use a two bedroom. Or twelve bedrooms with the rate she keeps taking in stray cats." I joke, weirdly enough, feeling comfortable with the small talk with Jeremy. Keep your guard up- I remind myself. 

"We do have an apartment with another bedroom..." Jeremy pauses. His eyes stare straight ahead at nothing while we walk. "It's just... It's the one next to mine. I tried to give her one that was the furthest away from me." He says softly and I hear this strangled pain in his voice.

"I see." I match his softness, and the rest of the walk is silent.

 Obviously, Jeremy knows I know what he's done. How he's hurt Moretti. But right now, I can tell he is full of regret. Remorse. And he is trying to make sure Julia is not only getting the best treatment because of what he's done to her but providing her an apartment far from his. He could have easily been deceitful and told her the only one that was available was the one next to his. To get close to her. Take advantage of her. He didn't. Jeremy gave Julia an apartment further away, not even close to where he lives, so they weren't next door neighbors.

He did the right thing. He really is trying to heal while helping Julia heal.

******