*James*

"I've never met a more pathetic kid in my life." My father hisses. I taste the metallic flavor of blood. It's becoming a flavor I taste often. Split lips are happening more frequently now that I'm older.

"If you're not gonna put the effort in, quit and get a job, for chrissakes."

"Dad, it was a B+. He worked hard for that grade!" Ashley tries to stick up for me but I glare at her, shaking my head.

"Ash, GO!" I yell at my older sister. You would think she'd know by now but all my sisters try to stick up for me. Even when I'm sixteen. It never ends well. Everyone gets hurt. I rather Joe just keep his attention on me and not move on to my sisters too.

My father rips up my report card.

******

"Fuck." I sit up in bed, realizing I'm breathing heavy crying and it was one of my night terrors.

 I was so proud of earning that B+ in Math. I stayed afterschool with Mr. Farlem every single day for a full month trying to get my grade up. Math just isn't my subject. I struggled with all subjects, but Math was the worst. 

I thought my father would be proud of me that day.

I was so wrong.

"Fuck!" I cry hard now, shoving my palms into my eyes thinking about that awful memory. I take a few deep breaths and turn to make sure I didn't wake Julia up. But once I'm fully awake I realize the small lamp on the nightstand is on. Julia is not in bed.

I glance up. Nate is here. Holding sleeping Julia in his arms while he sits on the chair by the window. 

"Nate??"

Nate nods and points to Julia. I squint my eyes and notice Nate's puffy red eyes. He's been crying. Crying hard.

"What's going on?" I move over to the edge of the bed so I'm sitting across from him. He's a mess. Moreso than I am right now.

"Can you take her? Take her from me. Please. Or I won't let go."  Nate's voice and he bursts into tears. I've never seen him like this before. Not this bad, at least. I nod and quickly get out of bed, curling my arms so Nate can roll sleeping Julia into them. I put her in bed and struggle with the sheet and blanket but manage to tuck her in before I sit back down and give Nate my full attention

"Did she have a nightmare?" I ask.

"No, but you certainly did, huh?"

I swallow hard and try to forget that awful dream. "Right. You saw that. Childhood memories and all."

I say nothing more. I don't need to tell Nate about my nightmares. I need Nate to tell me why Julia fell asleep crying in his arms. And why he is crying now.

"It's over."  He croaks out.

"What the fuck did you do? Did you and Mila already-"

"No." Nate snaps. "Julia chose him. He can give her what I can't." My voice cracks.

"Him? Him WHO??"

"It's fine, mate. This has happened to me before. I should have known this is where it ends. You can only get so far with me, you know?" He rambles on but I have no damn clue what he is talking about. "My job gets in the way every fucking time. I can give her the world but can't give her the one thing she needs. Stability."

"Nate, Pal, you're not making any sense. Him WHO?" 

"This is where it ends."

"Ok, I don't know what's going on, bud. I can't help you if you won't talk to me." I reach over and clumsily put a hand on Nate's shoulder. Jesus Christ, he's shaking. He's really upset.

"Paul." Nate looks up at me and for a moment, he looks like a sad child. his blue eyes are watery and is face is stained with tears.

Paul... 

I sit up straight.

"Paul?"  My eyes widen. Holy shit. PAUL?!?

"Paul." Nate drops his head in his hands and loses his damn shit, not caring that he's crying in front of me. At first, I look away out of respect. But right now Nate doesn't need respect. He needs a friend.

I lean over and reach to place my hand on his shoulder while he is hunched over. I drop my head and I pray over the man. Sometimes I pray silently in my head. Not tonight. Nate needs to hear this prayer.  I pray out a little louder than a whisper for God to comfort Nate. Because he's obviously so distraught he's gonna give himself a heart attack. And he's so in love with Julia, something like this WILL kill him. 

While praying I can't help but think of what Nate just told me. Paul. Really?

 He's known Paul longer than I have. Since he was a teenager.  I had no idea.

After I pray over Nate for a good five minutes straight, I lift my head. He wipes his eyes with a nod of silent thanks. It's the least I can do for the guy.

"So. Um... Paul? Really?" I'm having a hard time digesting this information. "What..like a one-time thing or something?"

Obviously, that was the wrong question to ask because Hollan bursts into tears again, right after I finally got the guy to calm down. It takes him another two or three minutes to pull himself together before he can speak again.

"The damn bloke has been in love with her since day one." Nate answers.

Wait. WHAT? My eyes widen hearing this. Rossi NEVER hinted around to being even the slightest interested in Julia. Not even a little. Julia has been here for months. He's been around her day in and day out and never did I think he more than tolerated her, nevermind love her. 

"Day one. No. Who told you this??" I still can't believe it. Maybe Julia overexaggerated, though she's not one to do that. Julia tells it like it is.

"Paul." Nate mumbles.

Holy shit.

Oh no... Trisha... This explains it. No wonder Paul has been trying to separate himself from Trisha. He isn't in love with her. He's friggen in love with Julia! This whole time...

Trisha is going to be devastated. Not so much because it's Paul. I'm not sure how close their relationship really was. But because it was Julia.

Anybody but Julia...

Damn. Shit's gonna go down.

*****

*Trisha*

So I cried myself to sleep. Big deal. Not like that hasn't happened before. I cried wondering why Paul is being so distant from me. Why I'm so tangled in thinking of Nate. Why nothing seems to go my way in the romance department lately.

But I lighten up a little when I see Paul's text this morning telling me to call him. Maybe he just had an off few days. People have em. I can't take it personally.

"Mornin' Hotstuff. What's going on? You never text me first thing in the morning."

There's a long pause on the line and my heart sinks a little. I know this pause. I've taken and given these before.

"Paul...."

"Trish, I'm so sorry. You know I-"

"Just say it Paul." I mutter into the phone, knowing full well where this is going. Tears sting my eyes.

"Did you talk to Nate?" He throws me off with that question.

"Nate? No. It's friggen eight in the morning. Only you are up at eight in the morning, Paulie. What's going on?"

"Oh..When you said for me to just say it, I thought that meant cuz you already knew or something."

"Know what, Paul? That you've been avoiding me like the plague lately? It's noticed. Believe me, it's noticed. Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, Trish. You did nothing wrong. Nothing at all. It's me."

"Oh God," I roll my eyes. "Are we in highschool? It's not you it's me? Are we seriously breaking up, Rossi? A SECOND TIME?"

Silence.

"Paul, talk to me." I say in a softer tone, feeling a lump forming in my throat and my stomach tied in a knot. I rather him be honest with me and tell me whatever I've done wrong so I know not to do it a second time, or in this case, a third time.

"Trish, I'm so sorry, sweetie." Paul's voice breaks. Oh my God. This is serious. Paul never sounds like this. "I wasn't being honest with you. With anyone. All this time."

"Ok, you are making no sense."

"I've..." He stalls and this time I stay silent and wait patiently. Whatever the man has to say is hard for him to say, I'll give him that. "Listen, Trish. I never wanted to hurt you. But I know this is exactly what I'm doing and I hate that."

"For a man who never talks, you're using a lot of words but telling me nothing, Paul." I become impatient.

"I'm in love with Julia."

I sit up straight and stare ahead at nothing. I feel like the world stops spinning for a moment.

"What?" I barely whisper into the phone. I had to have heard him wrong.

"I have been since day one."

Silence.

"Trish? Are you there?"

"I-" Tears fall down my cheeks at a rapid pace. "What?" I pause again. "Did you say...wait. Paul, what??"

"I'm so sorry. I should have been honest with you. I just confessed to her the other day but I've felt this for a long time. I had a plan to tell you but then Nate walked in on-"

"But" I interrupt,  not letting Paul say any more. I can't help it and begin to cry. He said Julia. He said her name. I heard right.

There's a few moments where all I can do is cry even though I'm still on the phone with Paul. He says nothing probably because he knows if he says anything I may go over and shove his damn phone right down his throat.

"I can't believe you are doing this to me. Of all people, Paul. You, of all people." Anger rises in my voice now. "I thought you were better than that."

"Trish, you need to understand. I-"

"You sonofabitch." I break down.  "I fucking hate you, you know that Paul? I've never hated someone as much as I hate you right now. TEN years I've known you and now... God... Rot in hell you piece of shit."

I throw my phone across the room.

Hard.

Then I cry.

Hard.

******