Chapter 118 The Only One

*Trisha*

"MACY Macy?? As in Macy Lenox?" I shriek into the phone and Evan gives me a weird look. "I'll explain later." I whisper. We decide to hold off on the driving skills since I'm on this VERY important phone call, and Evan orders our food at Wendy's.

"I'm dead serious Trish. She just...walked right into the studio like she had never left. It was the strangest thing." Nate says.

"You sure you didn't take one of Julia's crazy pills, Nate?" I laugh at my own joke.

"Very funny." He responds dryly.

"Is she single?" These are the things I need to know.

"Trish, knock it off. We said 'hi'. That's it. You know why things didn't work out."

"Yeah, I know, playboy. That one still stings, huh?"

It does. I know it does. I was there. It took Nate a long time and a lot of whiskey to get over that heartbreak.

"Anyway. I'm with Julia, you dope." 

"Shit. What are you gonna tell Moretti??"

"Um... how about the truth?"

"Yeah, good luck with that, playboy. Okay, we'll be back with your rabbit food. You sure you don't want anything from Wendy's?"

"You TRYING to kill me?" Nate hangs up on me.

  I nudge Evan to take my credit card.

"You sure? I can pay for us."

"Nate can pay. Company card. We're on the clock." I smirk.

"Ok, so now I'm gonna be nosy while driving back. Who is Macy?" Evan asks the question of the century.

"Ahhh. Macy Lenox. The love of his life." I dip a fry into my frosty and shove it in my mouth. "Pull over at Griffith Park. We can eat and I'll tell you everything.

"What about Hollan's food?"

"It won't hop away. I promise." I watch the bodyguard inhale his fast food. "God, I'm so glad your human and eat like normal people do. There's only so much lettuce I can handle from Nate. Anyways. Macy is kind of the one who got away. Though neither of them wanted to break up."

I tell Evan the whole story. It takes a few minutes and us eating our entire lunch in the car but now he is up to speed before we start driving back.

"The media attention can really do that, huh...." 

"Sure can. You have to be a different breed to be able to date celebrities. Thats why a lot of celebrities stick to dating within their circle, people who deal with the same shit and are used to being in the limelight all the time."

"So he was really gonna marry her? And being in the spotlight was what ended it all?"

I frown thinking of it and nod. Poor Nate. The guy feels so alone sometimes. 

"Here is this multimillion-dollar man with shelves and shelved filled with awards won for his music." I state. "Is considered America's heartthrob even though the fucker isn't even American. Has an unbelievable fanbase who throw themselves at him any chance they can get, yet he feels like he is unworthy of a lasting relationship because of who he is." I let out a sigh of frustration.

"That must be so hard for him." Evan responds with sympathy.

"It is."

******

*James*

"Still not talking, sunshine?" Mike waltzes into the apartment after session with a good dose of Ativan in his system. He grabs his backpack and heads to the shower down the hall.

"Look at her." Julia shocks me by speaking. "She's friggen perfect."

"Babe." I sit down next to her on the couch and wrap an arm around her back. I hate that she's dwelling on this Mila thing.

"Julia, do you want to talk about this? As in a therapy session?" Trevor offers his services. "Now that you're actually talking again."

"There's nothing to say. It's happened before; I have no doubt it'll happen again."

"What will happen?" Trevor doesn't know any of what went down.

"Nevermind."

"I can fill you in another time." I say quietly to the doctor.

"I'm tired. I'm gonna go lay down for a bit." Julia gets up but Paul doesn't let her off the hook that easily.

"Moretti, you need to eat and take your meds." He is holding her chart ready to log in her food intake.

"Whatever." Julia walks to the kitchen table, giving me a moment to glance at Trevor, hinting for him to follow me.

Once in Julia's bedroom, Trevor closes the door a little so no one can hear us.

"So, a-actually. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you some of this. Some of it is confidential with Nate's celebrity status." I become nervous and second guess the conversation, unsure if it's my place to tell the therapist this.

"You know part of my job is keeping secrets, right?" Trevor sits on one of the chairs near Julia's window. I sit on the other. "Whatever you say to me right now will stay in this room, James. But if you think it is something I should know in order to help Julia with whatever is going on, you should tell me. You can confide in me."

"Yeah. It will help if you know this. It was a really tough season for Julia go to through." 

I tell the doctor everything. the publicity stunt gone wrong. Nate's drinking. Julia failing to care for herself and shutting down. I tell him about her UTI that triggered a volcanic explosion of mental illnesses to set of simultaneously and that's how Jeremy put two and two together about Julia being like Eric Furgeson. I tell Trevor the whole story.

The look of shock on the man is about what I expected. He knew a little. Bits and pieces here and there, but Julia never had a real sit down with the man to discuss the whole situation.

"No wonder she's having such a difficult time." He mutters almost to himself. "You know, it sounds like all the things that have happened to Julia...well...the things I know of at least...... she had no control over any of it. None of these traumatic incidents that have happened to her have been anything she could prevent or change on her own. She's never been in control of anything. Maybe that's why decision making is so difficult for her. Not only that, Julia never got the chance to heal from one event before something else was thrown at her, huh?"

"She really hasn't. And not one of these things are her fault. She doesn't deserve any of it."

"Not many people do deserve that kind of trauma. Thanks for telling me this, James. This really puts things into a new light. She needs Talk Therapy to help her heal so she can move on. This has nothing to do with Julia's mental illnesses or her bipolar acting up. I was about to tell Jeremy to think about changing her meds. But she doesn't need a change in medication. She needs a change in life."

"No kidding."

*****

*Trisha*

I get through my workday but can't help talking about how Macy is in town. I think I'm annoying Nate now. Once we get to the elevators at his apartment, he stops me for a second.

"Listen, I want to visit Julia, ok? Please keep this to yourself right now until I can talk to her. I mean it, Trish. I'm already not on good terms with her right now. Don't fuck this up more."

"Whatever, playboy." I wave him off and decide to spark up a conversation with Evan instead.

"Oh hey," Jonah greets us once inside the apartment. "I was just about to go stop by the Avalon. Casey wants to see the damn dog. Wanna come?"

"One, we're not getting a dog." Nate glares at Casey who looks at me with a shrug and a smile. "Two.. I can try but Julia may not let me in. She's still not talking to me."

"Still?" Casey sounds surprised. "You haven't done anything wrong. Yet...."

"Give it time." I tease Nate and get a little shove in return.

"I'm not slipping up guys. I can't. Julia is doing so well right now. Not with me but in general. She's no longer detoxing and is clearheaded. She's getting better."

"Really?" Jonah shuts the refrigerator door. "That's great news." He smiles but it fades a little almost instantly. "But you know there's no getting better, right Nate? I don't want you to get your hopes up if one day isn't as good as the next. When you have bipolar-"

"I know, I know." Nate cuts him off. "Your moods change and every day is different. Don't remind me."

"We can all go. I'll order a bunch of pizzas for dinner. I wouldn't mind seeing James." I change the topic, not wanting to hear about Julia. Nate had a light lunch. He'll eat a few slices of pizza. Pizza night is one of the few things he won't turn down

"You know you're dating Paul, not James..." He gives me his raised brow emoji look.

"Yeah, well Paul is acting weird lately. I don't know what's going on."

"Welcome to my world, sweetheart."  Nate slaps my ass as he walks by to go get changed before we head out.

But when we get to the Avalon, once again, Paul barely talks to me. I spend more time talking to James than anyone. Then after dinner, he said he had to go check on the Marriott while everyone was here and left the apartment.  Is he seeing someone else behind my back? Is he just no longer interested in me? If so, then just tell me. This is ridiculous.

"You good, Trish?" James notices right away as we walk out to the backyard.

Jonah figures out how to work the firepit and we all sit around it but Jonah, Casey and Evan are in one conversation while James and I are in another.

"Paul seems so off lately." I admit quietly so only James can hear me. "I don't think he is interested in me anymore."

"REALLY? No. Who wouldn't be interested in you? You're overthinking it."

"Am I? Do you see him here with me right now? We barely see each other and when we do, he fucking leaves."

James takes in my words for a second and then frowns.

"Awww, I'm sorry sweetie. I don't know what to say. Maybe you should set up time to talk to him privately about it? He could just be stressed out about the Marriott. Right now, it's Will and Dante running the show over there for the 4th floor. You know Paul. He likes things done a certain way and rather do it himself, so it gets done right." He sighs. "He counted on me to hold down the fort and now...well. now I'm pretty useless." 

James lifts his slightly shaky hands, but I bring up something I noticed tonight.

"You don't even notice it, do you? James, you were holding your own pizza tonight. I've never seen your coordination working so well. You're healing."

"You think so? I don't know. I guess I don't see it yet."

"Believe me. Since I'm not around you all the time anymore, when I am with you, I notice little things like that. I hate to admit it because I fucking hate this place but it's working for you. Being here. You have less stress. That makes a huge difference."

"Yeah."

"Give yourself credit. You earned it. You were in a coma for a long time and have come a long way. You work hard every day on your PT exercises and coordination. It's noticed. You're doing a great job."

"Aww, thanks Trish. You made my day." He smiles brightly at me.

Why is it so easy to talk to James and so hard to talk to Paul lately? What's changed?

*******

*James*

Talking to Trisha is so easy. She really uplifted my spirits a little today. I'm kinda sad to see her go. But Paul is back, and everyone has to head out, so we say our goodbyes. I do notice what Trish is talking about. When she said goodbye to Paul, he only hugged her. If she was my girlfriend......if we actually worked out that is...... she'd get a big sloppy make-out kiss from me before leaving my side.

Mike leaves to go get his final Ativan dose for the day so me and Paul are able to talk about the 4th floor business knowing it's just Julia here. Julia could care less about that stuff. She sits at the kitchen eating her pizza now that everyone is gone, though I do catch her feeding Maggie some.

"Hey. I see you. Knock it off. My dog's already a fatty." I glance up, catching Julia in the act.

"She's not fat, she's fluffy." Julia scruffs up Maggie's fur, something the pup loves and then feeds her another little piece right in front of my eyes.

"Juliaaaaaa...."

"James."

"Ugh. Anyways..." I continue my conversation with Paul.

"Oh, by the way. I got an envelope from the 4th floor. They are still paying you for your services. Along with Will and Dante." Paul says.

"Wait, what?" I furrow my brows when Paul pulls out a familiar envelope and opens it. "No, I can't accept that. I'm not working."

"They don't seem to either know or care. I sure as hell don't need it. Take the money. It's yours."

"It's unethical. I haven't worked any hours."

"I had a feeling you would say that. I'm the same way. Dante insisted though, so it's yours."

"How much is in there?" I whisper.

"Three grand."

"What?"

"Yep.. I think they have had a few big-time celebrities up there. The business is doing well." Paul explains and shoves the envelope back on his pocket.

"Shit, no kidding."

"So, I had an idea. Why don't we give it to your sisters? I know Nate pays for the nurse and helps them out... but.."

"That's a great idea! We should give them the money and tell them to do something fun. Not to use it on mom's medical bills which is what I know they would do. To actually go out and use it on themselves. The girls would love that."

"I will find time to drop it off to them this weekend then." Paul pats my shoulder, seeing me a little overwhelmed with this blessing. But then Julia catches my eye.

Out of nowhere, Julia bursts into tears at the kitchen table. I jump up and rush over to her.

"Babe, what's wrong??"

"Nothing. Sorry.I ate too much pizza and am too tired to go to the gym."

"Sweetie, you look fantastic." I remind Julia that this shit can play games with her head sometimes. She's so used to barely eating that when she actually eats like a normal person she freaks out. Three slices of pizza is nothing. Most people eat that and more. 

"You're right. Sorry, James. You're right. I'm just really tired. I guess and was overthinking things."

"I don't need a shower tonight if you are tired..." I give her an out.  I don't want to be a burden if she is tired. I can take a shower in the morning.

"No. It's not that." Julia shakes her head.

"She didn't get much sleep last night due to a nightmare." Paul chimes in from the living room.

"I'll help you get ready for bed. It has nothing to do with you. I swear." Julia kisses my cheek and takes my hand.

I really wish she'd take advantage of some of these sessions here. They have one geared for people with eating disorders. It's mind over matter. She really could use some tools they teach you here at the Avalon to overcome certain things.

******

*Trisha*

Nate is nuts. He is seriously inviting Macy over to the Avalon??

"You're crazy you know that? You should have just invited Macy here to visit and not tell Julia." I lay on Nate's bed even though he tries to shoo me away.

"Oh yes. That would go over REALLY well, Trish. A dinner party with my ex and not invite my fiancé?"

"Fiancé." I snort. "You guys are on some kind of break, aren't you? Marry Moretti and then what? Move into the Avalon? Sleep next to James? You gonna share a pillow with him too?"

"I'm trying to come up with a plan, ok? Now get out of my bed. I'm tired."

"Ok, get some sleep. Tomorrow, you have a meeting with that Grant Berkeley guy to go over the music video. I imagine Mila will attend as well." I sit up, knowing I've waited to the last possible minute to spring this on Nate.

"Sorry. I didn't want to tell you until the last minute. I know you have a lot going on with Moretti and shit. Though she seemed fine to me today. Unlike Paul." I frown.

"Yeah, ok. So I noticed it today. What's going on with him? It was only with you. What the hell did you do?" He teases me but tears build up in my eyes.

"What's wrong with me, Nate?" 

"Angel, nothing is wrong with you." He pulls me in and hugs me. "You are amazing, and any guy would be lucky to have you."

"You're just saying that to get me out of your hair so you can go to bed." I scoff at my best friend.

"No, Trish. I mean it."

"Julia has guys dying to be with her and she's a fucking mess." I pout.

"You have so much to offer, you know that? I don't know what's going on with Paul. Maybe his mother isn't doing well or he is stressed out from being at the Avalon. I can talk to him if you like. But it has nothing to do with you. You could get any guy you want."

"But I only want one." I whisper and bury my face in Nate's chest, hiding my tears. "You."

"Trish..."

"I'm sorry. It's true. And it's fine. I get it, ok? Believe me, the last thing I want to do is complicate things. But you're my best friend and I want to vent to you. Even if it's about you." I sniff.

"Baby, we would be disastrous together."

"You don't think I know that?" I whimper against my best friend's chest. "I hate this! I wish I never worked for you in the first place."

"Ouch." Nate snickers but when I lift my head to see him he shares the same emotion as I do. "I know, love. I understand what you're saying. But I can't lose you, Trish. That's why we can't be together. I'll do something to fuck it up and hurt you and I need you for my own survival. I'd be so fucking lost without you. I don't mean as my PA. I mean as my best friend. I never want to jeopardize our friendship. I can't live without you, doll."

Like always, Nate wipes my tears, kisses my lips, then gives me a job to do.

Fuckin asshole.

*****

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