*Trisha*

I worry about Nate. He doesn't get sick often but it seems like when he does, it's serious. His heart condition will only get worse as he ages and that scares the fuck out of me. Just thinking about someday losing him brings instant tears to my eyes. He's already been through the ringer with all the tests he has had since arriving here. So far he's had a chest x-ray, a CT scan, and something called an Esophageal X-ray.  The diagnosis?  Pneumonia. And because he is coughing so much he reopened that tear in his throat from a few months ago. He's now on a shitload of medications and breathing treatments every four hours and, once again, no talking so he can heal. 

"You're a nurse. Tell me the truth, Casey. How bad is it?" I ask while we sit in the hospital cafeteria sipping coffee with Evan as our bodyguard. Not many people are in here but the ones who are all stare up at the local news spotlighting Nate Hollan on TV. They can never get enough of Nate Hollan.

"It's not ideal when you have a preexisting health condition such as his." She answers truthfully which I appreciate. "But Jonah caught it quick and already started him on antibiotics last night so he is one day ahead of the game. Jonah is good like that. He just...knows what he's doing."

I nod and take another sip from my to-go cup. Jonah IS good. Probably the best nurse I have ever seen, that's for sure. We are lucky to have him.

"I think Nate staying here to be monitored is a good thing, though. Most hospitals try to give people meds and instructions to take home- discharging them too soon to get the available beds needed. But because he is in the Presidential Suite he will get all the care he needs for as long as he needs. The system sucks but works wonders for people with money." She says

God she is so true. When my mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer I wasn't making the kind of money I'm making now. The hospital was useless in the beginning and by the end, I was caring for her at home. Those medical bills are no joke.  We couldn't afford luxuries such as the presidential suite. We were admitted and discharged constantly to make room for other patients. Usually mom would just need IV fluids for a few days and then once she was hydrated enough they'd send her packing. Our system is flawed in so many ways.

"How are you holding up though? I know you don't like hospitals. You don't have to stay if this is overwhelming. Nate gets it." Casey continues and gains Evan's attention. When the conversation turns over to me his ears perk up. I think he has a little thing for me. Either that or he is like Nate. A constant flirt to anything with a pair of legs.

"I'm ok for now. Being in the suite helps."

"You don't think that ex of yours will show up now that it's on the news, do you?"

Evan's green eyes dart from Casey's to mine, now more alert.

"He showed up here? The abusive guy?" He asks, now needing more information in order to do his job properly.

"Yeah. But I have a restraining order against him now. Thanks to.... Jeremy."

"Wait. What?" Evan knows about Jeremy so is surprised to hear this.

"This was before anything happened. Before he royally fucked up he was an amazing doctor. Even after it all went down. To this day he remains a very smart physician. I don't know what the hell happened in between. He went off the deep end with his Moretti obsession and took it to a harmful level." I explain. "The guy's just a dick."

I recall how we somewhat set him up when that whole Marriott incident went down. He met with me for therapy sessions and hitted on me right away. Even made it seem like after the kiss he regretted it and began overthinking it. I still don't know if it was sincere or part of him being a player. He's conniving, that one. I will never trust him. I will never understand how anyone else can.

"Do you have a picture of him on your phone so I know what the guy looks like?" Evan asks.

Unfortunately...I do. Because Dave is my awful addiction. I still have quite a few saved on my phone that I can't seem to part with. I rummage through my purse and pull out my phone, swiping through a few before I find a good one, then show Evan.

He studies the photo for a good minute before giving me a slight nod. 

"Good looking lad."

"He's all yours for the taking. Knock yourself out." I scoff.

"Yeah I don't swing that way. but thanks anyway." Evan laughs. "But I'll keep my eyes peeled just in case."

"I'm more concerned about Nate. This media attention is the last thing he needs. Last time, his mother showed up here." I glance up at the TV. "She's insane."

Understatement of the year.

*****

*James*

Julia is a little mother hen. We all know this already. So I'm not surprised she has taken mike under her wing to help him detox. She's currently with him now so he can pack a bag and stay here in this apartment for a little while so she can get him back on his feet. Once again, I think to myself how outstanding of a nurse Julia would be if she worked here. She's gone through detox plenty of times to know what she's doing as well as show compassion to the patients because she's been through it herself. She just needs to heal from her own trauma first so she can help others, though I think she uses helping others to help herself heal...if that makes any sense.

As I think that very thought, there's a knock on the Avalon door, meaning they are back. Paul opens the door and to our surprise, it's Dr. Tremont standing in the doorway, holding a half-asleep half crying Julia in his arms. She holds on to his shirt tightly and whimpers into his chest. It's a good fifteen-minute walk from one side of the Avalon to here so she must have cried the whole way to exhaust herself like this. It's hard to watch her when she's like this. There's no talking to her. She just continues to sob until she eventually falls asleep. Nate has seen it happen many more times than I have but even still, it never gets easy to watch. Even Paul has to look away.

"What the hell happened?" Paul snaps as he closes the door.

Trevor shakes his head as he walks in tiredly, setting Julia down on the couch.

"Cara had an....episode." He whispers. Maggie jumps up on to the couch and lays down right next to Julia who is pretty much asleep. "Does she usually cry herself to the point of exhaustion? Because that's what she just did. It took a lot out of her, and I've only seen a handful of patients who have done this."

"Yes." Both me and Paul say at the same time.

"If whatever happened was bad enough." I add and look back at the now sleeping Julia who still sniffs and whimpers every few seconds. "What happened with Cara?

"She attacked both Julia and Mike in the hallway when she realized her drugs were confiscated. The guard had to restrai-"

"Did Julia see that happen?" Paul cuts the doctor off sharply, already knowing what Trevor was going to say.

Trevor nods slowly. He's put the pieces together already.

"She saw everything."

"SHIT!" Paul runs his hands through his hair. It's not often you see him show emotion but lately, when it comes to Julia, I have seen him slip out of bodyguard mode and show his human side more and more. He has a soft spot for Julia. I can't tell if that soft spot is attraction or if he thinks of Julia like a little sister like Cara, but there's something there. She broke down Paul's wall. Very hard to do.

"She told me she has had to be restrained but didn't get into detail before she had her own meltdown after seeing Dr. Donovan. He triggered something in her and I imagine the restraints had something to do with it? We haven't gotten very far into our therapy sessions yet." Trevor sits down on the recliner to ease his tired body from carrying her all this way. Julia is a lightweight but deadweight when being carried for fifteen minutes straight.

"You should really talk to her about that. She needs a lot of talk therapy to heal." I suggest, knowing how well talk therapy has worked for me in the past.

All of a sudden something jolts my memory. It's the weirdest thing too because all I can see from the memory is black, yet I can hear Julia's voice clear as day.

*****

"He hurt me so bad, James." 

I squeeze Julia's hand.

"It was awful. That was rape, right? That was definitely rape.I trusted him. He's my doctor. My therapist. I can't tell anyone else. If you can hear and you were awake, you heard him last night. He said he'd keep me tied down in those restraints if I said anything. I'm so scared, James. I don't think I can handle this. I really need you to wake up."

*****

I cover my mouth and stare at the wall. "Oh my God."

"What is it? Hey..are you ok?" Trevor stands up and sits me down in his place, seeing the color drain from my face. This alerts Paul as well and even Maggie pokes her head up for a moment and looks at me with concern.

"That's not possible." I say to myself more than anyone. "Is it?" My eyes fill with tears when I turn to the doctor. I hate how easily I can produce tears when I become emotional. It's something that has gotten me some good beatings from Joe when I was little. 

"What?" Paul asks. now sitting on the other chair across from me. I continue to stare at the doctor though.

"You can't remember something from when you were in a coma, can you??" I ask Trevor. He's not a neurologist but still had to go to medical school and learn the basics. Trevor thinks for a moment before speaking.

"While highly unlikely, yes- you can remember certain sounds or events that happened around you while in a coma.  It all depends on your brain activity during that time Your brain can still process some auditory information even during a coma, potentially leading to vague memories upon waking. Every individual's experience is different." He talks in doctor mode like Jeremy does.

"I remember Julia talking to me. I remember what she said." My voice is weak now, knowing full well this experience happened.

"What did she say??" Trevor sits down on the free corner of the couch now that Julia has curled up into her little ball fast asleep.

"She was scared. She talked about being raped the night before. He threatened to keep her in restraints if she told anyone what happened."

"That fucker." Paul grumbles to himself.

"So he raped her while she was in restraints..." Trevor's voice trails off. He turns and looks at sleeping Julia with a frown. "Awful." He says under his breath.

"She talked to me a lot. Sometimes I remember little things but I never know if they really happened or not. I remember this though. This conversation really happened. I remember trying so hard to squeeze her hand. And she was begging me to wake up." A tear runs down my face and I quickly wipe it away with embarrassment in front of these two men. But Trevor leans over and squeezes my shoulder.

"You have been through hell yourself, it's ok." He says with this genuine tone that catches me by surprise from a man who's exceptionally good looks can take control over an entire room full of people. He's used to all eyes on him, yet when he speaks- is kind and soft and understanding. It's a rare quality.

"If you remember anything else, can you let me know? Like I said- I'm not quite there yet in the trust department with Julia. It takes time. I may never get there after the way the doctor betrayed her trust already."

"Yeah, of course." I wipe another tear. I can't help but wonder how many more memories I will have from the coma. Julia talked to me all the time. That much I know. I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most. 

That's a hard pill to swallow.

*****

*Trisha*

When we return to the suite Nate's BP monitor goes off while he is texting, gaining everyone's attention.

"Who's he texting?" I ask but Jonah puts a finger up to tell me to hold on, while Nate shows Jonah the texts.

"FUCK!" Nate yells out and attempts to throw his phone, but Jonah grabs it first.

"NATE!" Everyone scolds him but then Nate breaks down into tears. He shoves his palms into his eyes and cries hard making me jump up and be at his side within seconds. Nate hates crying in front of others. I've seen it a million and one times and Jonah a handful of times himself but not Casey and certainly not Evan.

"Nate... sweetie..." I rub his back as Nate sobs and then begins coughing up more blood while crying. Casey quickly reaches over and hands me the box of tissues. I pull out a bunch and cover Nate's mouth to catch the blood. Then Jonah shows me Paul's message about Julia shutting down because of Jeremy.  "Motherfucker." I murmur.

"I should be there with her." Nate takes the tissues and wipes his own mouth now.

"Stop talking!" Jonah furrows his brows and gives Nate another tissue to wipe the blood from his fist. "Paul is there with her, Nate. She trusts him. He will take care of her but I think Donovan needs to stay away for a while. Shit is coming back and she's never going to heal with him around. Regardless of if he can help her with her bipolar or not."

Jonah is right. Paul is the best of the best. And Julia DOES trust him. She trusts him with her life. The only time Paul wasn't able to protect someone was the one time he didn't get to Julia in time and Jeremy raped her in the hotel. No one knows what REALLY happened in that hotel room and Paul doesn't talk about it much. But I know Paul, and know he blames himself for not being able to protect her the way she needed that day. Paul is very hard on himself. When he fucked up and forgot to check Julia's apartment door and it was unlocked- the one and only time Nate got seriously mad at Paul, he beat himself up over it for a while. Just like he does with the Marriott incident. 

He will carry that to his grave and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

*******