*James*

"You're ok."  

It's the first thing I hear as I look around the room in confusion, Nate's British accent. I'm  sitting on the floor. Casey is checking my blood pressure. What the hell? Did I have another seizure?

"C'mon. I'll help you get changed." Nate offers and helps me up. It's not until I'm standing do I realize I lost control of my bladder in the middle of a- seizure which is common but still embarrassing as all hell. Especially since Julia isn't here to help me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I grumble to myself in embarrassment. "I... did I.."

"You had a seizure, buddy. It was a quick one. You're ok."  Nate pats me on the shoulder. "C'mon, I'll help you get changed."  

Shit. I  had no idea. I didn't feel it happening at all. This makes number four. Casey doesn't seem concerned and the doctors all say the type of seizures I have are not harmful.  Just part of all the other shit going on in my brain. 

Nate walks me to my room and I pinch the tension at the bridge of my nose. I can't believe this is happening. I really wish Julia was here right now to help me. Nate can clearly see I'm embarrassed by the circumstances so he doesn't say anything about it. He rummages through my dresser for clean underwear and running shorts, knowing I can't dress myself completely.

Nate doesn't make me feel worse. He quickly helps me change. I'm relieved for that.

"Sorry." I mumble.

"There's nothing to be sorry about, mate." Nate picks up the dirty clothes for me and throws them in the hamper.

"Don't tell her ok? About the seizure or anything. She's just gonna wo- worry more." I stutter while thinking about Julia.

"Ok. I won't tell her but mini-Julia may regardless. But I won't bring it up. Are you worried about them?" 

"Not really. The doctor said it's all from the accident. I just can't control when they happen or any of this. And the fact that you just had to fucking dress me."

"That stuff doesn't bother me. I think it's payback from all the times I've gotten drunk and one of the blokes I was hanging out with had to dress me or get me showered after throwing up all over em." Nate laughs a little to try and make me feel better. "Anyway, as much as we are supposed to hate each other. I don't hate you. I'll always have your back and take care of you, pal."

"I don't hate you either. I just hate that you won." I admit. "But I'll never give up."

"I know you won't." Nate inhales and pats my knee before standing up. "Taco truck for lunch?"

He changes the topic like I need him to and we move away from the awkward conversation all together.

*****

*Trisha*

"Thanks for doing all this with me." I nudge Jonah as we wait in the long pharmacy line. "I just want to make sure we have everything we need."

"I get that. You seem nervous, Trish. Do you always get nervous before you guys go on tour?" He watches me swaying back and forth impatiently while waiting for all of Nate's prescriptions to be ready.

"Not at all. I'm just worried this time around. We are bringing a lot more people with us and there's a lot more stress that comes with-"

"Julia." He cuts me off and I look up at the tall dark man and nod. "It's ok to admit that. We're all nervous. But I think she will be ok. That's not all that's bothering you though, is it?"

I pause for longer than I should before giving in.

"The way Nate is talking. I don't know. Is there something he isn't telling me? Medically? About his heart? I feel like it's more than he's letting on."

"You know everything I know and I know everything. I think Nate is just concerned given his background and genetics.  His dad died young. Too young. Without any warning. That scares the shit out of Nate, you know? But Nate is getting warning signs ahead of time. He is doing everything right and taking all the right precautionary steps to make sure he doesn't end up like his dad." Jonah  gives me little nod. "I'm gonna make sure he is well taken care of. He just needs to relax more and stop thinking of this as some death sentence. Because it's not."

"I hate that he has to worry like this." I look down at the ground and feel Jonah pat my back.

"You really love him huh?"

"What?" My head shoots up and eyes widen at Jonah.

"Trisha..." Jonah cocks his head to the side  making it known he is in on my little secret. I take a deep breath and nod.

"Always have. Always will." I feel heat rush to my cheeks saying that out loud.

"I think that's why you have such a hard time accepting Julia. You love him and don't want to see him stressed out. And lets be honest. Julia can stress us out. But Nate can handle her. He takes good care of Julia. Better care than anyone else can.. aside from.." 

"Jeremy. Yeah I know. That sick fuck."  I say under my breath before changing the subject to a lighter topic. "You and Casey are gonna love tour."

"You think so? I can't remember the last time I traveled. I know Case is excited. But she's a damn Hollan fan and is pumped to see him in concert."

"Well, in her defense, he puts on an amazing concert. He was meant for the stage. This is what he was made for."

"I believe it." Jonah nods for me to step up as people move in the line. "He's very charismatic."

"Not just the concerts though. You guys are gonna love traveling, sight seeing, trying different food.." I wink at the man who can house some serious grub and still look as fit as ever.

"Now you're talking." Jonah smirks and we move on with our daily errands. This is the first time I've really been out and about with Jonah and had real conversations with him. He's a funny guy and I think he is just like me in the way of needing to have things in order, making sure we are set for tour and everything crossed off our list. He's a damn good nurse and both Nate and are grateful he decided to come with us.

We finish everything in record time and head back to Nate's apartment. The house is quiet. Jonah puts the prescriptions away and checks his phone, reading his texts out loud.

"Oh, I guess Casey took James and Julia with her to Griffith Park to walk the dog. Paul went with them??"  Jonah looks up at me and shrugs. "Weird."

"Yeah, it is. Why would they need Paul to go with them? Maybe Julia didn't have a good day or something." I roll my eyes and notice the balcony door is open. Nate is home. I walk out and see him laying on the couch soaking up the sun. He looks so peaceful right now.  Like he doesn't have a care in the world.

"Hey, playboy."

"Jesus!"  Nate's eyes open, arms flail out from behind his head, and he almost falls off the couch making me laugh. "Weak heart, Trish. Weak heart."

"Sorry, I didn't know you were sleeping."  I lift his legs and slide under them to sit down, then lay them back over my lap. "Everything is done. Everything." She says proudly.

"Wow. You're good."

"Jonah's packing up all your meds now, old man." I watch Nate nod and close his eyes. Is that motherfucker kidding me right now? I look  and notice he's got a semi going on.

"Nate, what the hell were you dreaming about?" I raise my eyebrows at Nate when he sighs and opens his eyes.

"Why??"

"Cuz you've got a fucking hard on right now." I laugh.  He ignores me, puts his hands behind his head, proudly showing off without a care in the world and closes his eyes again. 

"Wouldn't you like to know. Stop looking at my crotch unless you're gonna do something about it." He says with his eyes still closed. Is that a challenge? Because he knows I will play the game. I press my hand on his lap and feel his hard on. Nate doesn't even flinch. He opens one eye and smirks at me.

"Playing with fire, Banks."

"Am I?"

"I'm taken, remember? Go find James or someone." 

"You're not technically taken. There's no ring on your finger yet." I pause, still feeling his length grow against my hand. Christ, I could go for a little Nate Hollan right about now. "And you don't really think James is gonna keep his hands off Julia in the confined living quarters on tour. Hell didn't you invite him to stay in your hotel room??"

"He's nervous about being alone. And for good reason. He had another seizure this morning." Nate pushes my hand off him and sits up. James had a seizure? I feel my heart begin to pound a little faster now. 

"He did??"I stare ahead counting what we're at now. "Fourth one now."

"Yeah. He may always have them. It takes awhile for the seizure medications to get into his system."

"Poor James..." I slouch down and fold my arms over my chest. James doesn't deserve any of this. I hate hearing that he had another seizure just as much as I hate seeing him struggle with things the way he does. Yet James remains happy and positive on the outside regardless. It's an amazing quality he has that draws people in to love him the way they do.

"You care about him." 

"Of course I do. He's James. We all care about him. Hell, even you Playboy."

"Should we be nervous?"

"I don't think so. You're bringing half the fucking town with you on tour. There's enough people to make sure he's never alone. We've all been trained on what to do as well. Did you know what to do this morning?" I ask.

"Yeah. Maggie alerted me and I lowered James to the ground before he could fall."

"Maggie will be good to have around. I already packed your new allergy meds but she doesn't seem to bother you too much." I also did some other things to  make sure  not only Nate will be all set, but Maggie as well. I will tell James soon. But now I need to ask the question on my mind. "Did you have to change him or did Casey?"

"What?!" 

"You don't remember when my mom was having seizures towards the end? They sometimes.. you know...lose all functions..." I remind Nate.

"I helped him."

I gaze at Nate for a moment too long. He helped James. Nate did. Was he at least nice about it?

"You didn't make him feel bad did you?? He can't control-"

"Of course I didn't make him feel bad!! Am I that mean? Really?" He glares at me.

"You really do care about him, huh? That's a turn on. You... and that big ol broken heart of yours."

"What. Caring for the bloke in love with my girlfriend? Yeah. Real turn on."

"So that means you saw him naked. He's got a huge-" I start but Nate cuts me off right away.

"How would YOU know? Ok we're done here."  He gets up and heads inside while I burst out in laughter. He can't take a joke. Well... It's true. James as been blessed. But to see the look on Nate's face right there. That was priceless. 

My heart is full hearing that Nate took care of James the way he did and didn't make him feel embarrassed. Nate is like me. A Caretaker. It's one of the many things I love about him.

****

*James*

"I'm gonna miss this place while we're away." Julia says while we lay on the grass at Griffith Park. We keep our eyes closed and feel the sun on our faces like we always do. I love these moments with Julia. These calm, quiet moments. These are the moments that keep me going.

"You're keeping something from me, Mr. Gallo. I can tell." Julia can sense it right away. She always could.

"I had another seizure this morning." I open my eyes and turned to Julia. "I'm fine though. Nate helped me. Maggie alerted him."

"She's more than just a good therapy dog." Julia says.

"Yeah. But I'm being selfish. She's Lindsay's dog too."

"True. But she's letting you take the dog on tour. I think she knows how good Maggie is for you. So Nate was there to help you? Like... help you help you??" 

"Yeah. He didn't make a big deal of it either which was a relief."

"That's good. I'm glad." Julia lays her head down on my shoulder and I smile when she closes her eyes again. She can be a wildfire sometimes but when she's calm, like this, it's like the whole world around her is calm.

"I wish I could be more like you. You still smile even when shit happens."

I look down at her and tuck her hair behind her ears but leave my hand on her jawline. Julia is breathtaking and she doesn't even realize it. More than her physical appearance she's sensitive and so caring. Always asking how I am and worried about me. Aside from Lindsay and my sisters not many people really care. Not like to this extent.

 I tilt my head down and nudge her nose a little with mine playfully. And then, we do what feels right. We kiss. I kiss Julia and she kisses me back. But I can't handle just a few little pecks. No, not with Julia. I feel the tingling sensation right down to my pants and begin to harden when I slide my tongue into her mouth to deepen the kiss. Julia pulls my body in close to hers and we begin to make out, not caring who sees us now.  God everything she does is perfect. Her perfect lips match mine like we were made for eachother. I really wish we lived in a different world together. One where she wasn't in love with Nate.

"You two. Knock it off." Paul snaps us back to reality like a parent.

Julia looks embarrassed but I laugh.

"I still get you all hot and bothered. Even while you wear that obnoxiously expensive ring on your finger." 

"Shut up." She snaps.

A good five minutes go by where we silently soak up the sun and behave before Paul speaks again.

"Moretti. Let's go." Paul stands abruptly.

"Jeremy Donovan is here." Casey alerts us. "I saw him pull up in the parking lot with some other guy."

Shit. Can't seem to get away from this kid. It's like he has a tracking device on Julia or something. He's everywhere she is. Both of us jump to our feet. I look at Paul. 

"Some other guy." I glare at Paul who nods as we walk back to the SUV. Jeremy is here with some other guy? Dave. It has to be Dave Brennan. But WHY? What do they have going on? They are up to no good together and both me and Paul are on edge over it.

*****

It's the first thing that is mentioned once we are all home. But Nate doesn't seem to concerned.

"It doesn't even matter. We'll be gone soon."  Nate says as he drags his suitcase out to the living room. "We can leave in the morning. If we take off at 11:30 we can be in London by 7:30 London time tomorrow night." 

"Yeah. I don't know what Dave and Jeremy would have in common to be seen together, though." Trisha sounds concerned but we try not to overthink things. Nate is right. We will be long gone tomorrow.

"Are you ready for your first flight, Mags?" I kneel down and scruff my dog's ears. Lindsay already stopped by and said her goodbyes. She doesn't seem too broken up about not seeing her dog. Maybe because Maggie has been with me a lot more these last few months and Linds knows the dog helps me. I promised to have someone facetime her often and send pics of Maggie as well.

"Casey, will you be able to take Maggie for a long run before our flight? We're gonna have to tire her out." I look over at the nurse.

"You got it. I was actually planning on waking up early for a run myself so I'll make sure she is good and tired."

 I let out a sigh of relief. I may not have children of my own...anymore... but Maggie is my baby. So I worry about how she'll do on that long flight.

"Don't worry, James. Maggie will be ok." Casey can sense my nervousness. "I'll take good care of her, even if I have to run laps on the plane and play with her for ten hours. You know I've gotcha covered." Casey loves my dog. And Maggie loves Casey's attention.

While we are chatting away I notice Julia out on the balcony talking to Nate and Jonah. She looks anxious. Really anxious. The poor thing is a nervous wreck about flying and I already know why. We talked about it at Griffith Park this afternoon. Flying is bringing back all sorts of PTSD shit for Julia. The last time she flew was that weekend in Boston. Julia doesn't like to talk about that weekend so I don't bring it up. But when she does feel comfortable it breaks my heart. That was an awful experience for both her AND Nate. I can't even imagine how scared Nate must have been when he saw her in that tub, passed out.

Julia needs a distraction.

"Paul, can you tell Julia I need her help in the bathroom?" I whisper to the  bodyguard who looks up from his phone and nods. He doesn't ask questions and I  hurry to the bathroom and wait for Julia.

Less than two minutes go by before I hear Julia knock on the door.

"You need help in there?"

"Yeah." I reply.

The second Julia opens the door I pull her in and close it behind us.

"What's the matter?" She looks around the room and then at me, seeing I don't need any help at all.

"You. That's what's the matter." I lean her against the wall and cage her in with my arms.

"James..."

"Julia.... just for a minute." I kiss her slowly at first but my dick is hard as rock now  so I kiss with more passion. Julia feels me against her and  begins to kiss me back, just as demanding now. I've been waiting for this. We were cut off this afternoon and I swear to God I've been walking around hard since. I know Julia is feeling this the way her fingers tug on my hair and the way her hips begin to grind against mine while we kiss.

"Wait." Julia eventually breaks our kiss to catch her breath. "James we can't."

"Sure we can. We can do whatever we want."  I smirk down at her and she drops her head to my shoulder with a sigh.

"Why do you do this to me?"

"Because I love you. And I know when you-you marry him it all ends between us." I stammer. "Because I will never break up a marriage."

"But you'll make out with an engaged woman?" 

"That doesn't go against my belief system babe. Because I still have hope you will choose me."

"James..."

"Let me just enjoy this moment. Just for a minute."  I smash my mouth on hers like I need her to survive. Because I do. But Julia tries to reel us back again.

"Anyways. You're still not even. You still get a free pass... payback for him cheating on you with Mila Giovanni." I explain.

"He was drinking James..."

"Doesn't matter. No excuse."

"I hate you, you know that?" Julia says yet she is still pressing her body against mine.

"I don't think you do, baby." I groan.

"Ugh. Your impossible, Mr. Gallo."  She kisses me a few more times before escaping the bathroom, leaving me to have to take care of my hard-on by myself.  I got to her though. I know I did. I walk out of the bathroom and head to my bedroom but am greeted by Trisha who is folding my clothes neatly on my bed.

"Hey, James the Receptionist. Is this sweatshirt good? It may get cold on the plane." She holds up my black and white Adidas sweatshirt. I nod and close the door the moment her eyes drop down to my pants.

"Um.... who got you all turned on out there?" She smirks and folds the clothes. "It was Nate, wasn't it?" Trisha teases.

"The human body. Gotta love it." I walk over to Trisha and boldly spin her around, making her throw her arms around me. "I can tell you  how you can help Trisha the Personal Assistant..."

"James Gallo, behave yourself." She laughs but I press my hips against her body while holding her in my arms. I was really only joking around with her but my eyes fall to her lips instantly.

"Jesus, how do you walk around with that thing?" Trisha's hands fall to my chest but I notice her eyes drop to my lips as well.

"You could help with that.." I flirt and push her hair to the side to kiss her neck.

"James... you know we're just friends.. You love Julia..."

"And you love Nate." I whisper,  not wanting to embarrass Trisha.

"Stop reminding me." Trisha presses her body into mine more and I can feel her heart beating a little faster now.

"Anyways, everyone is still up in the house. Not like I'm gonna do anything...but-"

"Triiishaaa....." I whisper close to her ear and kiss her neck more. "You do something for me I'll do something for you.. That's what friends do." I laugh a little, knowing I'm getting to her by the way her perfect body is responding.

"Ugh. You're too much. Fine. But you're gonna have to walk around with that thing until everyone falls asleep. And this is a no strings attached thing. Got that?"

"Can you give everyone sleeping pills?" I huff and back away. Fortunately it is already starting to get late. I was really only kidding and flirting with Trisha. I didn't think she'd actually go for it. We haven't even kissed in a long time. "You don't have to, I was just messing with ya."

But then..

Trisha leans up and pecks my lips. It's instant tingling the second our lips touch. I throw my hand to the back of her head, deepen the kiss immediately while walking her to the nearest wall to lean against. My mouth is open on hers while I talk.

"I was really just kidding... but God...you feel so good." I kiss her passionately to the point I take her breathe away. My hands are holding her in place and her hands are on my ass pressing me in more. Our kissing is sloppy and desperate and I'm now aching painfully.

"When everyone goes to sleep...." Trisha pushes me off her and gives me a wink. I groan and take a step back.  She's gonna be the death of me.

*******

*Trisha*

I had forgotten how good kissing James  made me feel. He got me all worked up and now I'm patiently waiting for everyone to go to bed. Are we really doing this? Me and James? What exactly are we doing anyways? Having sex? Getting eachother off? Becoming friends with benefits?  I'm not quite sure to be honest.

I lay in my bed, thinking these things and trying not to cheat and get a head start. It's almost midnight and the place is quiet. I slip out of bed and head to James's room. Everyone's doors are closed and once I enter his bedroom I close the door behind me.

He's sleeping.

 Do I really want to wake him up? He looks so peaceful. No. I can't wake him. Tomorrow will be a long day of traveling. I sigh and walk back to my room. 

Maybe this is for the best. 

Instead I think of him and the way he kissed me while laying in bed.