RORY WAS an awful cook, which is why she sat on the counter and watched Sarah cook the fish that they had caught for lunch. Sarah was making a whole meal, whilst having no choice but to endure in the random blurts of conversation that escaped Rory's lips.

"What was the thing you wanted to tell me?" Sarah asked curiously, as she turned the oven on, and Rory frowned slightly in confusion. She explained, "The day I told you I was pregnant. You said you also had something to tell me."

Rory nodded, "Oh, yeah. It's something to give to you, not necessarily tell."

Sarah squinted playfully, "What have you been up to, Rory Mayba..." She trailed off, before apologising, "Sorry."

"Hey, it's okay." Rory shrugged slightly, as though it didn't bother her. She wasn't a Maybank— maybe that was a good thing. Rory suggested sarcastically, "Hey. You have three last names to choose from. Maybank, which isn't even mine. Genrette, which is a definite no because we're not being related to Groff. And Cameron..."

"Which seems like the obvious pick, however it relates to my family. Rafe drowning me, Ward trying to kill us." Sarah mused sarcastically, "We have some good choices here."

Rory chuckled, before pulling out the silver ring from her pocket. She watched Sarah's eyes twinkle, reflecting the sparkle of the jewell. Rory held it out in front of her, before sliding it on Sarah's ring finger, "This is for you, Sarah Cameron-Maybank-Genrette." She smirked.

Sarah chuckled, "Oh my God. This ring is beautiful. Where'd you get it?"

"Downtown." Rory replied with a smile.

"I've got you something, too." Sarah explained, before reaching into her pocket, "It's not as expensive, but..." She held out a wooden ring, "I made it from the leftover wood at the Chateau."

"Sarah, I love it." Rory smiled, before placing a kiss on her lips. She asked curiously, "Are we going to tell the others?"

"Of course," Sarah nodded, "We should, uh, probably tell them about the pregnancy, too. Kie already knows. She walked in on everything at the pharmacy."

Rory added, "JJ only knows about the wedding. I, kind of, told John B about you being pregnant— sorry." She looked at Sarah, holding her hands and Rory could tell that she was worried, "I know that it's your news to tell, but he wouldn't of told anyone else."

Sarah nodded in understanding, "It's okay, Rory. They're all gonna find out sooner or later."

Rory asked curiously, "Shall I tell JJ?"

"Do you think he'll handle it... with everything going on?" Sarah reasoned, "I think you should tell him, Rory. Just you. He's been drinking all day. He's not okay and I don't wanna make him worse."

Rory nodded, mumbling, "I know. Okay."

Sarah gave a small smile, "I'll tell Kie about the wedding. Then, we can both tell Cleo and Pope."

"Hey, Sarah?" Rory said hesitantly, as the blonde girl looked at her curiously. She paused, her eyes on the floor, "I, uh... Are you going to get an abortion?" Rory added quickly, "It's your choice. I just, uh, want you to be comfortable."

Sarah held her hands tightly, her voice calm and soft like it always was when she spoke to Rory. She replied, "I don't know yet. All of this is... I need some time to think about what happened, okay? But, if I did get an abortion, you'd come with me, right?"

Rory nodded, "Yes, of course, I would."

Sarah's eyes scanned Rory's face; her eyes still fixated on the floor. Sarah knew that Rory hated eye contact, assuming it was because of Luke because JJ didn't like it either. Sarah touched Rory's chin, guiding it to meet her face, "Hey, look." She looked into Rory's watery eyes. Sarah gave a small smile, her voice barely a whisper, "What happened to me isn't your fault."

"It's not your fault either," Rory reasoned, frustration laced in her voice, "You went to a party, Sarah. That party wasn't an invitation to—"

"I know." Sarah cut her off, softly. She repeated, pain in her eyes, "I know."

"It shouldn't of happened." Rory continued, her voice quiet yet seething with anger, "You were drunk and-and you didn't—"

"Rory." Was all Sarah said, and Rory had suddenly stopped talking; she realised that Sarah was trying not to cry.

Rory cupped Sarah's face gently, her anger gone and her voice softening, "Hey, I'm sorry." Rory hugged Sarah tightly, listening to the girl cry into her shoulder, "I'm here, Sarah."

***

Nervously, Rory made her way towards the first floor of the boat. JJ was sat down, holding a glass of alcohol in his hands as he looked at the view of the ocean on the horizon.

JJ had been dealing with the chaos by drinking, which never ended well. Not only was he a light-weight, but also JJ was a very emotional drunk. Rory thought that telling her brother about Sarah's pregnancy would convince him to take responsibility and stop drinking, proving that he could be responsible adult-figure in the baby's life.

Rory tried to smile, but she hated seeing her brother drunk. She hated drunk people, and dealing with them. However, JJ probably felt the same when Rory got high; she probably owed him one.

"Hey," She stood in front of him, gesturing to the space beside him, "Can I sit?"

"Go ahead." JJ slurred, before burping loudly; Rory had to stop herself from saying something rude.

She looked at her brother in concern, talking softly, "What's going on? I don't like seeing you like this, J."

JJ slurred, and it was hard to decipher what he was saying, "Tough shit."

Rory took a deep breath, "Drinking isn't gonna defeat the problem, you know that, right?"

Her brother muttered, "Drinking is the only thing I have, right now."

"You have me." Rory said.

JJ scoffed, taking another sip of alcohol, "I can't be dealing with your emotional shit right now." 

Rory paused, biting her tongue, "Look, JJ, I'm sorry. I should've been there with you and Groff, but I wasn't."

"I don't care." JJ shrugged. But he did care; he cared more than anyone.

"Yes, you do. It's okay to care," Rory nodded, "I know how much you wanted a relationship with Groff. You wanted to have what you couldn't with Luke. I get that, okay?" She paused, "I'm sorry that he wasn't the dad you deserved."

JJ stayed silent.

Rory continued, clearing her throat, "Do you remember I told you about Sarah and I getting married?"

"Yeah," The boy muttered.

Rory asked, "Well, can I tell you something else?"

"If you really have to." The boy slurred.

Rory rolled her eyes, before hesitating, "Sarah's pregnant."

JJ finally looked at her, his eyes narrowing, "How'd that happen then? You magically grow a dick, or did she cheat on you?" The boy muttered, "Wouldn't be the first time."

"Don't be an asshole," Rory snapped, "I'm telling you because you're my brother, and I love you."

JJ sighed, "How'd it happen?"

Rory explained, "When we broke up last month, Sarah went to a party—"

"So she did cheat?" JJ let out a chuckle of disbelief, "And you're still with her? What happened to standards, Rory?"

"She was drunk." Rory shot back, "She can't even remember what happened. So, yeah, I'm still with her because it wasn't her fault."

JJ hesitated, "So... Sarah's actually pregnant?" He paused, watching as Rory nodded. He shook his head, mumbling disagreements, "No, you see... that's—" JJ stood up abruptly, causing Rory to hold him up as he nearly fell.

"Whoa, hey. Hey." Rory reassured, holding his shoulders, "It's me, J. What's going on with you? Hey, talk to me."

JJ pulled away. He stumbled back slightly, "You wouldn't want me around that kid, Rory. I promise you that."

"Yes, I would." Rory frowned, "You'd be an Uncle and Kie would—"

"What do you know about raising a kid?" JJ snapped suddenly, "What experience do you have, other than how Luke raised us?"

Rory exclaimed, "Just because Luke was a bad parent, doesn't mean I'll be. I'll... I'll break the cycle. I don't know shit about—"

"Exactly!" JJ raised his voice, "You don't know shit. You're gonna screw up this kid, just like Luke screwed us up." He chuckled, meanly, "I mean, the drugs, the drinking, the constant mood swings— Jesus, you're like a triple threat. Sarah's kid is already fucke—"

"Shut up." Rory snapped, tears watering in her eyes. Her voice quietened, "You're a mean drunk." Rory said harshly, "Like, Luke."

JJ shrugged, retorting, "Yeah, well, like Luke, you're not even gonna be the real parent to your kid."

"Fuck you!" Rory shoved him back. The two siblings continued bickering, shouting and screaming the worst insults at each other. The twins were furious, so half of the things they said weren't true; however, it felt true. Rory knew that her and her brother would apologise in a few days, though in the moment, she hated his very existence.

JJ yelled, "Get off— Fuck! Get off!"

"Fuck you!" Rory snarled, "No— JJ, I swear— shit!"

The twins were pulled apart by Cleo and Pope, who had heard the yells and thudding from inside of the boat. When they reached the siblings, Rory had jumped onto JJ's back, whilst the boy was stumbling as he tried to shake her off. Rory had a fist-full of JJ's blonde hair, refusing to let go as Cleo pulled her off of him.

"Guys!" Cleo raised her voice over the top of the twins' inaudible insults, "Stop it! Both of you. Stop!"

Rory let go of her brother's hair, as Pope stood in front of him and guided him back. Pope insisted, "Stop! Hey, man. Let it go."

"Bloody rascals." Cleo muttered, rolling her eyes, as she stood next to Rory. They watched as the two boys walked inside of the boat, leaving Cleo and Rory outside. She softened her voice, "You okay, girl?"

Rory sighed angrily, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration, "Fucking idiot."

Cleo sat down on the side of the boat, watching as Rory paced up and down in frustration, muttering complaints and insults as if JJ was still stood next to her. Cleo stared at her in silence, and Rory must admit that she was very good company. Cleo was good at agreeing with everything Rory said, making her feel better and reassured, even if Cleo wasn't actually listening.

After a while, Cleo went back inside to help Kiara and Pope prepare for dinner. Rory was invited, though she turned the offer down; she wanted to be alone, though it was hard to be at peace when her mind was racing.

Rory stood up, leaning her elbows on the side of the boat and looking out into the sea which glistened as the sun set. She pulled out her phone, hesitatingly typing the name Spencer. Rory sighed, before placing the phone to her ear. 

The man picked up the phone after it rang a couple of times; Rory expected him to be angry, as the last time they spoke, she put the phone down on him. But, Spencer wasn't Luke. Rory often forgot that most people were nice, and it wasn't normal for adults to hit her in rage— that was just a Luke thing.

Spencer wasn't angry, he sounded relieved. He spoke, his voice crackling through the phone because of the poor internet in the middle of the ocean, "Hello?"

"Hi," Rory replied, hesitating, "Can we talk... please?"

His voice was laced with sarcasm, "Well, well, well. I knew you'd come around." He chuckled, before asking curiously, "What's up, Rory?"

"I'm going to Morocco." Rory blurted.

Spencer paused, a moment of silence, "Morocco? Oh— I, uh, what's the occasion?"

"The treasure thing." Rory explained shortly, "Do you remember what I was telling you about in the Half-Way House?"

"How could I forget?" Spencer laughed, "How long are you out for?"

"I don't know yet," Rory paused, "I'm looking for my dad, Spencer. He's involved in the treasure... stuff."

Spencer took a deep breath, navigating through this conversation slowly and cautiously, "You're dad... Luke? I thought we agreed he was a trigger for you. A set back."

"He's not my real dad," Rory told him, "I met my real father a few days ago."

"How'd that go?" Spencer asked curiously, "You don't sound excited."

Rory explained, "He locked my best friend in a freezer and tried to kill JJ."

Spencer didn't reply.

After a while, the girl thought the one bar of internet had died; Rory spoke into the phone, "Spencer, are you there?"

"Uh, yeah, I— sorry, kid," The man spluttered, "Are your friends okay?"

"Yeah," Rory nodded, doubtfully.

Spencer hesitated, sighing, "Listen, Rory, I know you and your friends love these treasure hunts, but when does it stop?" He paused, almost waiting for a reply, but Rory stayed silent; she didn't know when the hunt was over, or if it ever ended. Spencer added, "This shit sounds serious, Rory, and it's... it's harder for you. You know it is harder for you."

"I know." Rory muttered.

Spencer continued, "How are you feeling so far?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do." He prompted kindly, "That's why you called me."

Rory paused cautiously, sighing, "I don't know— uh, tired, I think."

"You can do better than that." Spencer urged softly, "What are you tired of?"

"This." Rory deadpanned, "Being me."

Spencer questioned, "Have you been following the Steps?"

"That's what I struggle— the Steps shit. Step one im cool with— i can agree that I'm powerless over drugs and my life is unmanageable. But it's step two. Came to believe that a power greater than Earth can restore us to sanity. That one I just— uh, I have trouble with." Rory explained.

Spencer retorted sarcastically, "Now I get it. You don't believe there's a power on earth greater than Rory."

Rory smirked, "That's not true. I think there's tons of shit that's greater than me."

"Name one." The man urged.

"A double decker bus." She shot back.

Spencer chuckled, "Name another."

"The ocean."

"Try again."

Rory stated, "Any song by Adrianne Lenker has greater power than me."

"That doesn't make any sense." Spencer laughed.

"Yeah it does. Her songs greatness impacted me." Rory corrected, "It's more than any of us will ever do."

"That's not gonna cut it, smart-ass."

Rory paused, before confessing, "Spencer, I don't believe in God."

"God doesn't give a fuck if you believe in him. He believes in you." Spencer shot back.

"That seems unfair." She frowned.

"Why?"

"Because I'm not believing in someone who believes in me." Rory explained, "He's being open-minded and I'm not even trying."

Spencer queried, "Why don't you believe in him then?"

Rory sighed, "Because I'd like to think that, if he was real, he would've helped me when I prayed to him. I used to make my brother pray every night when we were kids. I thought, by sending him double the amount of prayers, he'd hear us better. He'd hear us and help us get out of that house." She paused, "I stopped praying when I realised there was no change. So, I don't see the point in praying to God now, when I've already got through half of this journey alone."

"Alright," Spencer thought for a moment, "Okay." He paused, "But, you don't have to think of God as a person. God is everywhere, in everything. Even if he hasn't answered your prayers, he was still apart of the journey you took. He's in everything, everywhere, all the time. God doesn't have to answer your needs directly to help. Change takes time."

Rory mused, "So, God is on this boat?"

Spencer scoffed, "He could be right next to you. Or, he could be in the waves of the sea."

"Creepy." Rory smiled.

Spencer paused for a long moment, and Rory forgot that he was still on the phone. He sighed, "I hate to ask you this, but you know I have to, Rory..."

"Yes, I'm clean." The girl said.

"Good. That's good, Rory." Spencer congratulated. He cleared his throat, asking curiously, "Normally these calls are interrupted by your friends, or JJ. Where is that menace of a brother? He's normally talking' my ear off by now."

Rory chuckled, before replying, "We had a fight. A big fight, for us."

"You didn't tell me." Spencer said.

"I don't need to tell you everything." Rory retorted, and the man hummed in disagreement. She scoffed, "You sound like a clingy ex."

Spencer laughed, before asking, "Don't change the topic. This is about you and JJ. What happened?" 

"A lot has happened." Rory explained dryly, "Sarah's pregnant, we're getting married, and I told JJ. But, he was drunk and said some mean stuff. But, I said shit to him, too."

"Wow— Congratulations." He cleared his throat in surprise. He paused "That's why you called me?" Spencer guessed, "Because of your brother. And what he said to you."

Spencer had this power of knowing, and Rory was always confused about how his power worked; it was almost like he could read her mind.

Spencer added, assuming the worst because of the silence, "He said shit about your addiction?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Rory, we both know that you and your brother both say shit when you're angry. Just—"

Rory cut him off, "I'm not in the mood for a lecture, Spencer."

The man scoffed, "Lecture? I'd like to think we have conversations."

"Sure you do." Rory mused. She paused, almost knowing that Spencer was itching with advice to give. Rory mumbled, "I'm just sick of being like this. They probably all think I'm selfish."

"The hardest part of having the addiction, besides the disease itself,  is that no one in the world sees it as a disease. They see you as selfish and weak. They see you as cruel and destructive. They think 'why should I give a fuck about her when she doesn't give a fuck about anybody else? If she wants to kill herself, let her'. But, you're not the only person on Earth with this disease. There's people, like me, who realise that you're not that bad." He chuckled slightly, "And probably under all this chaotic, stubborn energy, you're a very nice kid."

a/n:
i actually LOVE spencer he's such a king

okay i had to include jj and rory sibling angst (i would say it gets better, it kind of does, but then episode 10 exists xxxx)

also there's only 10 chapters left.
IT'S A BUMPY RIDE XX