If I took matters into my own hands,
Disregarded reason,
And ignored common sense,
Things would be said
That should be left unspoken.

I admire he
Who has the ability
To spread only kindness with his gestures,
Only encouragement with his smiles,
And only confidence with his speeches.

Whereas I must confess,
Though I know it's not for the best,
I'm inclined to speak my mind,
Yet I'd immediately want to rewind.

I may seem all out of wack,
And patience is something I certainly do lack,
But I won't dare hold him back.

He's just so selfless
That I can't help but wish
I could be a bit selfish,
Even if it all ends in a mess.

But I'm not as mean
As he might think,
For I am just a teen,
Failing to do anything but drink
Away the resentment that's been
Plaguing me day and night as I blink
And then everything I've just seen,
His kindness, encouragement, and confidence, is gone in a wink.

Perhaps the quality I admire most
Is merely a mirage.

Or is that just what I tell myself?

***

Super late today, and this makes no sense. Sorry.

9/7/2017