Suicide Note

Despite myself and him,

Despite the season and their dropping bloods,

Better if I drop myself into an old room,

Better to be not born,

And even better to never be born twice.

Despite the old room that always caught fire.

Dear reader,

I have to sink away from the birds,

I have to, I want to,

The owls and fishes are fierce,

The see saw tilts backwards and forwards,

I cannot, and I don't want to help it.

The eyes did say

They were always awake

They told the whole story

But these poor dumb animals

had beads for eyes.

Gunshots for asking

Nail heads for thinking.

I never asked for anything

I never asked for understanding

This time, certainly not.

I myself they will not turn their heads

for the unrehearsed flying fish.

Nor for the echo of love

This beautiful lie you told me to study

Will surely light up into ashes

I don't abstain my cowardness

And my crying help

So i have to go now

Knowing my clear route

Carried by my horse

And I my self will not ask "where we are going?"

We have been riding for this

Dear reader

I dare visualize my family

My father arching his back

And the unexpected mouth of my mother

I have known that i have died many times-

once in December, once in July

The piano won't play

The snakes won't hiss

The world won't care

He wouldn't notice

But the horses will thump their feet

Knowing all of it

Of what they sensed all day