Masks are easy to layer on.

One by one.

Until before you know it, you won't even recognize your own face.

You won't even know where the mask stops and the skin starts, it will all have melded into one.

You will pull and rip and stab at it trying desperately to even just scrape off a little piece.

You want to remember what it's like to be you.

You want to see your own face and not feel as though you are looking into the eyes of an acquaintance.

You want to be recognized by your loved ones.

You don't want to be a different person in every single scenario.

Every single mask that you use on a daily basis is enough to fill an entire ocean of memories.

Memories of when you could still see.

Memories of when you could breathe without being suffocated by yourself because in your tear stained mind even breathing to your own rhythm is now considered a crime.

You try,

You pull,

You pry,

You are always alone.

For even in a crowd full of people who consider themselves your friends you feel to be a stranger.

You are always a stranger.

Even to yourself.

You don't even take the masks off when you go to sleep.

They are always with you.

Always suffocating you and promising that they are doing you a favor.

Always whispering in your ear at night and swearing upon all the stars that you can no longer see that they are exactly what you need.

You have not looked at the moon in what feels like a decade,

And yet you see it every night.

You cannot find the motivation to even try to open your mind for every time you come close to reaching that point it tries to close you off.T

he masks keep whispering.

"You need us."

"You want them to like you."

"You care if they like you."

But you don't!

And even if you do sometimes it feels nicer to lie to yourself than to drown yourself in the truth.

You will always be cold.

You will never feel alive.

(hey Bill or whoever's on, this is the first of three messages, I can finish it later if no one is actually on right now)