Sometimes,

in the dead of the night,

I awake with an itch,

and itch I can not scratch.

So I claw at my flesh,

and tear at my skin,

trying to set myself free,

because you see,

this body is not me,

It's of a girl lost long ago,

it just wasn't meant to be.

Yet again,

I lay wake at night,

crying,

trying to keep from dieing,

And clawing at an itch that can not be itched...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NEW POEM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I smiled and laughed,

they said I've never looked so happy before.

Before you,

I felt I was nearing an end.

Before you,

I had tried to blend in.

Tried to not make a scene,

hoping to not be seen.

But at some point through all my hiding

You had found me...

And you set me free,

Then completely wrecked me...

Now,

After you're long gone,

engraved into my memory,

my happiness seemed to have vanished with you...

Late at night I stare at my ceiling,

And wonder....

Does my happiness hate me too?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NEW POEM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then he came back,

The boy I lost three years ago...

He smiled at me,

through a video cam,

and played guitar to fill the silence.

He told me he loved me,

that he'd never stop loving me...

then he reminded me of you,

and i grew distant.

He smiled at me,

and told me such silly things.

He wasn't like you, not at all...

He doesn't hate me over pity reasons,

he doesn't have it in him to hate me...

Much like how I don't have it in me

to hate you and lose you...

~Feb 5, 2017

3:55 am