I have been beaten

So hard I couldn't even cry

I have been hurt so bad

That I didn't even have the energy to want to die

I've been bruised from head to toe

And I've been forced to lie about it

So that no one would know

I've been punched

I've been kicked

And I have been slapped around

I have been hit so hard

I can't do anything but fall to the ground

This is what I'm used to

What I grew up with

My whole entire existence

But I've always pretended I was perfectly fine

Nobody ever saw past my pretense

Choked

And shocked

And burned

And tied up in the yard

You didn't ever care about me

And I still have the scars

Maybe I'm screwed up now

I can't even think

But

I remember every awful name

All the shouting

Right in my face

You telling me that I'm worthless

And I'll never be good enough

Because I'm useless

I'm just a stupid slut

You used to brand me with your word

They're forever burned into my mind

Because you carved them into my skin

They're with Me until the end of time

It was worse than the hitting

Because this I couldn't fight

No matter what I did

It kept me up at night

I was always just a pet

That you got mad when you couldn't train

I always spoke out of term

Never was able to play your game

But you thought I was pretty

And wanted to claim me as your own

I couldn't even escape you

Because you lived right in my home

You liked to run your hands

Up and down my sides

And tell me that I was beautiful

And I didn't even have to try

You didn't let me go

Even when I said please

Didn't let me stop

You had me down on my knees

Because to you I was just a toy

And then you left me to pick myself up

After you got your joy

So thank you all

For ruining me

And leaving me on my own to fall

But I picked up my pieces

And put the back

With duct tape

And tears

But your scars will always remain

All throughout the years

I can't deny that I'm strong sometimes

But I also struggle to get out of bed

Because I can never escape all this

Because I'm forever locked in my head