To the men and women
Who created Super Mario Brothers
From Kylen Erin Dooley
A devoted gamer
I would just like to have a quick
Heart to heart with you.

Fuck you!

Do you take joy in my suffering?
Do you enjoy watching me die
Again, and again, and again?
You sick fucks!
$20 bucks wasted on fighting Bowser!

And why the hell are these plumbers
Saving a princess, fighting lizards, jumping and eating mushrooms?
What kind of drugs were you guys on
And where can I get some?

Don't think that I'm not on to you!

Hey, kids!
Wanna take mushrooms
Get taller, fight a dragon, and save
A pretty pink, princess?
You sexist bunch of pigs!

While we're on the subject
Fuck you, Peach!
In another God damn castle?
Why the hell do keep getting taken?
Do you get off on this? My pain?

At least all I need is my game boy!

Fuck!
Gotta buy Wii now!
What do you mean it's shit, Dustin?
Maybe you're shit! Ever think of that?
Perverted mother effer!

What's the Wii U shit now?
Ah, hell no! No more consoles!
Wii games still exist!
Target, Walmart, Best Buy
No more fucking Wii games?

Nintendo, my boi!
We were cool, you were my console
Then your God damn Mario, Peach
Got popular and like a teenager
Became even more of a bitch!

No, I'm throwing you away!
That's over a hundred dollars
My parents won't get back!
I'll play the games I got now
And win them!

Now, Mario you don't like me,
I definitely don't like you
But let's put aside our differences
And you can kill the mother effing
Dragon!

Dying Mario music

Deep breath

FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-

By the way I'm giving up
Gaming, TV, sweets,
And cursing
For lent
Thanks for asking