I punch the same 10 numbers on my phone
that I punch in every night
I lift the speaker up to my ear
and listen
the call immediately goes to voicemail

I still had a little hope you'd answer
I always hope every night you'll answer
but no
you didn't
you can't

I listen to the automatic recording
the recording we made in your bedroom
laughing histaricaly
and trying to be funny

at the end we were serious
you said "sorry I can't answer at the moment"
you said "I love you"
you said "see you soon"
but I didn't see you again

and so here I am
curled up on my bed
tear stains on my pillow
listening to

what once was