what am I doing?
why am I sitting here by the window?
I should be at school
I should be with them
I should be laughing and working and learning
why am I here?

Confused I stand up
and as blood rushes to my head, so do the memories
both causing my feet to stumble

eyes unseeing I stare into nothingness
as my vision clouds and images form
emotions crash down on me like ocean waves
water rushes along my body
along with my tears
words pound my limp person into a pulp
they hurt
and I close my eyes
wishing for the darkness to fill my vision
so I won't be aware of the pain anymore
"you know this is wrong, don't you?"
unable to speak I nod
"feeling this way is wrong, you want to change this, right?"
unable to speak I nod
I want to bang my head against a wall
till I can't nod in agreement when I'm scared
I want to pack my bags and run
till I'm far enough away from your tears and pain and words that you don't know hurt me so
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry

*blinking rapidly I glance around as my vision starts to focus once more, as my emotions numb again, and I fall back into oblivion*