"If the world was ending, you'd come over,
Right?"
But what if the world is ending
Because you won't look at me.
What if the world is ending
Because you won't text me?
What if the world is ending
Because you still talk to me
And tell me you love me
But you won't be there for me?
What if the world is ending
Because we haven't resolved this conflict
And the anxiety prevents me from eating?
What if my world is ending
Because I put so much energy into you
Just for you to tell me that I'm doing it wrong?

You say that I've hurt you.
You say that my actions went too far.
Am I supposed to forget all the times
You didn't consider my feelings?
I try to talk to you about how I feel.
I try to express how maybe you messed up,
Or we messed up, together.
And I get yelled at until I'm crying in the car.

Believe me when I say that I've tried not to care.
Believe me when I say that I can't help it.
Every passing moment without security
Is another treacherous step
Into a dark room
Filled with spikes,
Ends dipped in poison.

But pain can bring clarity.
Pain can bring anger.
And I have every right
To have the most painful anger.

You say my words are hurtful,
You say my actions sting.
You tell me I fucked up, that I've gone
Too far.
Well if my actions are too far,
Then hers are farther still.
You say I was hurtful,
Yet ignore how she hurt me.
You say my actions sting,
Yet ignore how she twists my trauma into my heart.
You say I've fucked up,
Yet she gets to act like nothing she did is wrong.

Love is messy, and confusing, and a lot of things.
If I had known how much love can hurt,
I might've thought twice before loving
Someone who can hurt me so easily.