The guilt. I spiral down, down, down, falling into this pit of guilt. Thick, heavy weight settles over me as I lay down here and feel guilt.
But, realization. A spark of light, of hope, burning the weight off my shoulders. I sit up, looking around, stretching- I'm free.
I see the way up. It's a rather long climb, but I can make it out when I thought I never could. You made me feel this way. And you know what? I'm not the one who should feel guilty.
I have every right to make my own decisions, to control my feelings. Because I'm not yours. You can't control me, control how I feel. Your special place in my heart, the spot reserved just for you- it remains, as it always will, but it's changed. It's smaller, burnt, filled with a hint of contempt.
You set me free, set me on my own. The guilt you placed that's holding me back- it's gone. Because I realized something, sitting down there covered in my negativity.
You gave me away. You gave up, you stopped trying. Was it what I wanted? No. Was it what I needed? Not at the time, no. But now, despite the pain and anger you've caused, I'm glad you did it.
Yes, I feel empty without you. Like a part of me is missing. But I needed to learn how getting your heart absolutely shattered to pieces feels. So, thank you, for ripping my heart out and stomping on it. I needed it more than you'll ever know.