Wrote out of a place of pain/frustration. There may have been a small amount of anger too. It leaves a bitter aftertaste, and I may be crying myself to sleep tonight, but hopefully I'll feel better in the morning for writing it.

When a secret's eating me alive

And there's no one I can talk to

I spin frustrated discontent

Into verse hoping to reach you.

Why are words so hard next to you?

A little time, a little space

These thoughts and feelings tangle more

Leaving a deep frown on my face.

Things you've said are under my skin,

And I can't seem to shake them loose

Whether said in praise or passing.

You can't know the gift you abuse.

I can't believe you're that obtuse.

Perhaps I should after it all.

Please forgive my pessimism;

True or not, for it there's no call.

I am more angry at myself

Than I ever could be at you.

Dismay, disconcerted, and grieved,

Those words fit the feeling more true.

You can make me smile at day's end

Or make me smaller than a wren.

Why does your opinion matter?

You are no less or more than friend.

How then to intern my regard

Without abandoning friendship?

I value what we have...or had—

I can't be sure with my world flipped.

How to continue as we were?

Or maybe that's the problem here.

Blessedly time flows but one way;

Change is destined despite the fear.

Maybe what I need's to let go:

Friendship hard fought, painfully lost.

The long run may yet prove this good,

Though it comes at a loathsome cost.

Will there be freedom afterwards?

An easing of anxiety?

Or will I only hurt the more,

Down one friend, perhaps perm'nantly?