*Warning this poem may be triggering to some. Reader discretion is advised*

The air gets thicker
As I choke on
My breath,
Trying, to comprehend
What's happening,
"Yes I'm fine", I lie
Laugh a little bit,
All the while
I'm trying not to
Quit.
I start to remember
What happened last
Spring, in that room
I existed, I was
Never living.
I sit and remember
The IV in my arm,
Remember the cuts I
Made on my legs now
They're scars.
Try to be positive I
Say to myself,
Search "How to be
Positive when your
Mind is your Hell"
A happy smile
Exists on my face,
Never you knew,
It's all just fake.
Then anxiety comes,
I so tremble and
Shake,
Never you knew,
A smile could be fake.
When I went out
Of the room pulling
A straight face,
I was almost crying
Praying that He had
Mercy on my mind,
I was calling to Grace.
So when you see
Someone smile or see
No emotion, please
Know but don't ask
Here is the notion,
Sometimes we smile
And sometimes we
Fake.
Never you knew

Happiness could be
Fake.