You haven't really hurt until you've had your struggles minimize.

You except me to pretend my pain away as if it's nothing.

It's not that easy to just pretend pain, mental pain away.

So I guess tell my loved ones that I'm sorry I was never good enough.

In your eyes I know I'll always be a monster.

You act like who I am has made me impossible to love.

When I needed empathy you buried me under so much shame.

So much so that it's suffocating.

But I won't apologize for who I am no, not anymore.

I can't pretend my pain away.

There's no way to outrun the pouring because it's like I'm hiding a hurricane in my head.

I can't pretend my pain away.

You judge me for what I cannot change.

When I'm dead, you'll wish you believed!

You always make me feel like I'm such a burden, like my sickness is my fault.

I just can't take this shame.

I just can't take it anymore!

I just wish that you could see my pain just like a cancer.

Maybe, just maybe I'd be a hero, not a liar like you say!

I can't pretend my pain away.

No way to outrun the pouring rain because I'm hiding a hurricane in my head.

I can't pretend my pain away.

Why must you judge me for what I cannot change!

When I'm dead will you wish you believed me?

When I needed to be loved, you were the jury and the judge.

You refused to understand and it messed me up so bad.

The more you tried , the less you helped!

In the end it only made me hate myself.

I can't stand it!

No I just can't stand it one second more!

In the home you never were!

I can't pretend my pain away.

It's impossible to outrun the pouring rain because I'm hiding a hurricane in my head!

I can't pretend my pain away!

Judged me for what I can never change.

I'm not dead, no not yet!

I'm begging for you to believe me.

-Numa/Elizabeth

ps I'll put the video up tomorrow