When all that you care about are people, you will be sucked into this cycle of ignoring yourself to please others. You only allow yourself to feel your best when you're helping others, then, when those people don't need help anymore, you fall back into the emotionless void that you created. It's dark there. It brings no comfort, only longing. Longing for someone to help, longing for something to do, longing for something to change so that you don't have to face the reality that you have made. You put on a smile and pretend like everything is fine when you're around others. It's not fine. It never has been. You always knew it from the start. That this wouldn't bring good for yourself, it would only be for others. The darkness will continue to eat away at you, slowly at first, then all consuming. You can't escape it. It's an inevitable fate, sad as it is. You distract yourself with others so that you can ignore it, but you can only ignore losing yourself to the void for so long.