Dear Queen Elizabeth

Dear Queen Elizabeth,

Just a note to say

When next you need a Laureate,

Please consider me.

I write a lot of poetry

So how hard can it be?

In terms of productivity

You could do worse than me.

I'd mark the big occasions

And mark each special day.

Be it births, or deaths,

Or marriages; the special jubilees

Providing something rhymes with it

You'll be OK with me.

The better poets turn it down

Get up themselves and sniffy.

I'll just get on and churn stuff out.

I write most every day.

Whatever you want a poem about.

Just give me a shout.

I can easily write at Royal request

And churn another out.

I'm very, very local

I just live down the road

I could pop round to the castle

Whenever you're next home.

Could do a proper interview

Or just come for a brew

I'm flexible so any time

Whatever works for you.